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[BuddyC]

my poor creative writing teacher (this was written about 10 mintues before class and has not been spell/grammar checked yet).

It started out as another normal day for all of them, well, all of them except Claire. Little did they know that today would be the day they were all waiting for, though perhaps it wasn't exactly what they had in mind.

Trent was performing his daily routine. Decked out in his Bob-Marley t-shirt, his dread locks dangling halfway down his back, he grabbed the stack of books for his new belief system and went to stand outside Dunk'N'Dip Donuts. He passed out the books to patrons of the establishment in an attempt to spread his religion, change lives for the better. He could never have imagined that he would be proving himself today, not only to himself, but to his first true follower.

Cassandra, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get out of town and away from Adam. It didn't help he'd been talking about marriage lately. Thankfully she was packed and ready to take off for Texas University. All she needed now was a quick cup of coffee and she'd ready for her seven hour drive to school.

Jezebella woke up sick, again. She knew she wasn't pregnant, after all she hadn't had sex in months. Though she had just gotten a few more piercings along her spine, perhaps one of them was infected? Regardless, she still needed breakfast, so she headed off to Dunk'N'Dip Donuts.

Thomas, oh, poor Thomas, he just wanted to try the new glaze-flavored drink. He didn't expect to find the answers he'd been looking for all this time. What began as another aimless day would change Thomas most of all, putting him on the path to true salvation he'd desired for so long. At long last his life would have purpose, but it seems we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

Claire had finally had it. Tired of everyone always picking on her, she'd been up all night plotting and had finally devised her ultimate revenge: the destruction of Dunk'N'Dip Donuts, the source of all her problems. Seriously, all of the bullies at school worked at Dunk'N'Dip, and they would all be working when she went in this Saturday morning.

They all arrived at Dunk'N'Dip at about the same time. Claire stayed in her car, muttering to herself. She almost chickened out, but then she thought of what would happen if she went to school again. This was enough to motivate her into what happened next.

She noticed Thomas first, and took careful aim. Who knew that Trent would jump in the way? Sure, her next shot hit Thomas, but this one sliced clean through his shoulder - not the intended chest shot Trent had just absorbed. Cassandra was quick to hide beneath the table, Claire didn't even notice her. Jezebella locked eyes with Claire. This was the last thing she needed this morning. "C'mon shoot me, punk."

Claire shoots.

The bullet bounces off of Jez's high-quality spiked necklace and ricochets from a metal ceiling fan into Claire's head. Holding Trent in his arms, Thomas notices the love in his fading eyes. Later in the day, after this ends, Thomas finds a copy of Trent's book "The Way of Life" in his pocket. Flipping through it, it begins to make sense. He's content, happy. He understands.

So what happened to everyone? Well, Jezebella died four months later of undiagnosed lymph node cancer - she was buried with her favorite clogs. As for Cassandra, well, after one week at school she went back home to Adam. Meanwhile, Claire rotted in a jail cell awaiting trial. Not to worry though, aliens from Alpha Centariytuan destroyed the Earth a few months later. Luckily, Trent had written about the upcoming invasion and how to survive it. Thomas was subsequently crowned king of the Centariytuans and ruled the Galaxy with an iron fist until the end of time.

 

[ArcadeStickMonk]

Oh.... the shit some of the comic\gamer dudes handed in... the absolute, complete shit

the crowning achievement, by far, was turned in by the guy who talks about poop all the time.

About a week after the original Halo 2 teaser was released, he turns in this turd about a cyborg soldier doing an atmosphere freefall, from a helicopter, in order to fight the telekinetic aliens. It was like he copied the back of the box, except the game isn't out yet.
I was assigned to critique his story, and I felt like my brain was melting when I read it.

When I get home, I can post this shorty I wrote to parallel a certain SOE futuristic game. Nobody in the class got it, didn't help that the professor still viewed games as nintendo carts, but I felt that it was an interesting experiment due to how it was writen.

 

[Smiles and Cries]

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europe/09/13/britain.palace/index.html

 

[human5892]

One time in a game store I got so pissed off that I pushed over a magazine rack.

 

[Doth Togo]

Too many kiddie noobs on GAF.

 

[Mama Smurf]

We rarely ever got to write whatever we wanted at school. You'd always have a title or a theme and have to go with it whether you could think of anything or not.

But I remember one time, I think we must have been about 13, we were actually given the chance to write anything we liked, as long as it was a fictional story. So we do it and, on the day the teacher gives it back having marked it, he says "I'm seriously worried about this class". Turns out, without any organisation between us to make it happen, about 2/3 of the 30 pupils had written bloody stories full of death and gore.

Good times. Wish I still had mine, I remember the basic outline though. Two brothers are playing football on some wasteland and the younger one kicks it over the goal onto the road behind. He runs to get it, but seems to be taking ages. His older brother goes to see if the ball's stuck in a bush or something, but can't find him. He gets a bit worried, and searches around the area. The tension increases as he still can't find him, but he checks home to see if he's there. He's not and he lies to his mum about it and goes out again to find him, until he's in a part of town he doesn't know. Now he's not only trying to find his little brother, he's lost too. So he's worried for his brother and himself and he's scared because he doesn't know where he is, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns in relief, thinking it's his brother, and the man stabs him. He dies watching the man walk off grumbling about kids, never knowing what happened to his brother.

Yeah, I was fucking sick, but the whole class was. I didn't top the guy who wrote about the lesbian rape though, the teacher wouldn't even mark that (kind of harsh). Yeah, he won the day.

 

[MrPing1000]

I heard Suerte isn't gay

 

[ArcadeStickMonk]

I take writing more seriously than this excercise may suggest

Soltangris and his squad crouched in the swampy reeds, out of view from the scouts which could have been moving across the nearby hills. They’d been there for a while now, growing restless. As usual when there was time to wait, they chatted with each other. Currently, the topic was of their missing squad mate, Kithyen.

Soltangris had started the conversation back up for the fifth time. “I just can’t believe that he didn’t show”

“Yeah” Arcade agreed simply.

“We are the only three man squad out here right now all because of him” Concluded Soltangris.

Pagefault tried to steer the conversation. “Who is the CO here?”

“Daishi is in command” Arcade answered.

Soltangris seemed not to notice. “I mean, what the hell is Kith thinking? He’s missing one of the most important moves all week”

Pagefault looked to Soltangris. “He’s obviously pretty pissed off. This used to be his squad”

“Kithyen == Baby” Soltangris was characteristically un-sympathetic. Arcade showed his amusement with his best smiley face.

The soundtrack was momentarily drowned out by the roar of aircraft passing low overhead. Soltangris followed them with his scope to make sure that the jets were showing the right colors. He was turning back to his two troops when Daishi came over the global comm.

“Scouts report red moving in from north and north west. infantry armor aircraft All available squads check in”

The many smalls groups of blue soldiers and their machines hidden in the swamps, foothills, and decaying forests on the front line checked in sequentially. Soltangris chimed in when it was his turn. “Squad 13 ok”

“Kithyen is going to leave the squad” Pagefault theorized. “He might even quit the whole thing”

“WTF?” Soltangris snapped. “Fine then let him. I’m better than him anyway. I’ve been putting in way more time than Kith - Getting more kills more captures”

Pagefault interrupted before his new commander would go too far. “Kith mailed me the other day Saying how betrayed he felt”

“Haha get a life”

“Really” Soltangris agreed with Arcade.

“I thought U 2 were friends?” Pagefault asked

“We go to the same school I guess we are. He’s just being a whiner I’m better than him
Going to be a CO in a two months myself” Soltangris mused. “Y R U being like this Page? We had a fair vote You and Arcade both voted for me!”

“All I’m saying” continued Pagefault, “is that you shouldn’t have treated Kith like that”

“Like what?”

“Like a jerk You won the vote and then said ‘now we have a real leader’ I can imagine what you prolly say to his face You should apologize to him”

“He’ll get over it” Soltangris scoffed. “It was the right thing”

“Ooooooops” Arcade started, “I forgot to bring enough ammo.”

“Here.” Pagefault dropped a perfectly square box of ammunition to the mud.

Arcade made it disappear. “Thx”

“noprob”

A cacophony of distant detonations rolled over the squad; beneath it was the sound of approaching motors. Daishi gave the order for all forces to engage. Soltangris and his two remaining soldiers brought their weapons up and prepared to move out of the reeds.

A knock at his door startled Soltangris; he jumped. He so hated interruptions.
“It’s open!” He yelled over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off of his radar.

He heard the door to his room open and shut; Soltangris turned to see who it was and saw Kithyen’s face for a bare fraction before his squad mate hit him across the face. Soltangris hit the floor in a tumble, soda cans and discs trailing after him. He looked up and saw Kithyen looking at his screen; Kithyen’s eyes shot onto Soltangris and made him startle again. Before he could cry for help Kithyen grabbed Soltangris’s pillow from his bed and was kneeling over him. Kithyen began to smother him wordlessly. Soltangris struggled, but his former commander was too powerful; his fingers grasped uselessly at his attacker’s back. He was fragged.

A scout jeep bounded over the bank and into the reeds. Pagefault and Arcade managed to disable the driver before it could reach them. The two soldiers turned and stared at their motionless commander.

“R we moving out?”

“Soltan? We moving?”

“Maybe he lagged out”

 

[=W=]

I can't take complete credit for this, as it was also written by two other people. A friend of mine, an english major, had to come up with some journal entries for his creative writing class, and he decided to make some of them stories. In this particular one, he called upon me and another friend of mine, to help him write it. He would write the first sentence, and then we would take turns writing the next sentence and so on. Anywhere, here's the story.

The 32nd Greatest Story Ever Passed Around

At the dawn of the Renaissance era, a young painter sat tormented in his room trying to come up with the perfect work of art. He looked down at the pie in his lap; if not for its clumsily construed outer crust, it would have been a perfect “pi.” Thinking about the dessert in front of him, the painter quickly quoted from memory barely audible the first few digits of pi: 3.14… At that moment, he realized his destiny…what he was put on earth to do…

…eat the pie and use its inspiration to develop mathematical theorems. And so he ate, his destiny compelling him. When he finished, he realized that, if he only remembered the first three digits of “pi”, he’d really suck at postulating new mathematical theories. Groaning to himself, he went in search of his paintbrush. After a brief search, he found it under the chiffon sofa.

Suddenly a great ball of fire crashed through the artist’s roof and landed in his lap. He squealed in terror. “It’s so hot!” he cried. “Doh!” He threw it on the ground. When it cooled, he examined it. To his surprise, the asteroid was shaped like a little naked man.

That’s right, reader: the little stone man was King David; the artist: JJ Rubbensticky. And now you know the rest of the story. Yeah, that’s right: Michelangelo’s real name was JJ Rubbensticky.

 

[demon]

one time, i ate poop. teh end.