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[Mike M]

The screeching of metal scraping on metal makes Val grimace mightily as he puts his back into opening the prison door. Even if whatever guards there are in this place hadn't heard that, the din of the ensuing riot in the earthen cell was sure to draw attention.

There's not much more Val can do on this side of the pit to extract the rest of the company, it's up to the magic types now. Instead, he turns his attention to the oncoming guards (Ruby Keep soldiers to boot, splendid), and flings his hands in the air.

"We are not prisoners! Look, we've no collars and there's a cleric of Pelor among us for gods' sake! We were lost in the cave system after a collapse in Ironhill mine, we have no idea where we are, but we still have people in there! Help us get them out!"

Diplomacy check:  1d20 + 5 = 18

((Probably not high enough in this instance .))

 

[ThLunarian]

The guards exchange a wide-eyed glance of amazement. One of them turns around and rushes away, while the other says, "Stay put and don't move. We'll take care of this."

Moments later, Tarkus, Evaneth, and Suvne appear out of thin air in the small room, along with a Ruby Keep man in a fancy Wizard's robe. That man immediately closes the door and locks it back up. "Come," he says to everyone, "Let's get you cleaned up so the Magistrate can take your statement."

The party is led by a group of ten soldiers up the stairs, through a cell block with more hospitable accommodations than those down below, up another set of stairs to what appears to be a barracks, and into a room with wooden stalls. Each of you is led to your own private stall, containing a large basin full of clean water and a modest amount of soap, along with a towel and a change of clothes (only if you want it; Tarkus's are literally too small for him to put on, and everyone else's are a bad fit in one direction or another). You are given 30 minutes to clean up.

Val, you know where you are now. This is Ruby Keep Castle, the capital of the continent. You've run a mission in these very barracks a time or two, posing as a guard at least once. You also know that you're quite a distance away from any potential exits leading out of the castle.

((Let me know if you wanted to do anything that went against some of the assumptions I just made, but I think I probably am reading the party's response to this development correctly, at least up to this point))

 

[Mike M]

Val has never been so happy in all his life to see soap, and takes to attacking the accumulated strata of blood, dirt, and filth with great gusto. As he scrubs himself, he reflects that the incident at the prison cell had resolved itself far better than he had ever thought possible. Thank the gods for guards capable of critical thinking skills who responded appropriately instead of just... Throwing them back in or something.

Of course now the problem is that he's currently in the custody of the guard of Ruby Keep castle itself, so his reprieve from the prison cell is likely a temporary one if it should come to light who he really is. And if this Magistrate the wizard spoke of is the same one Val and Quintus encountered at the seminary -- and he fully expects it is -- things are going to get extremely prickly very quickly. Without knowing which of the survivors from the ambush made it back to the seminary, he doesn't know what the Magistrate knows about "Sarm's" sudden disappearance on the road to the Keep. Pulling the Julius Joubert identity out of his hat again is a risky affair, as the Magistrate is likely not to have the wool pulled over his eyes with tales of the exploits of an agent of the crown working for an agency so secret that no one's ever heard of it. Kaff Rayneel is the most established, but it'd be difficult to reconcile that persona with the events he'd been involved in late. No time to think of something new that wouldn't collapse like a house of cards at the slightest investigation either...

Of course, with the Mask of Lies in hand, Val could literally walk out of here unopposed, but that'd leave everyone else holding the bag. No, he's just going to have to wing it and hope everyone else has enough sense to play along.

Reaching into the handy haversack, he pulls out a change of clothes ((Oh, let's say... his Explorer's Outfit)) and awaits his meeting with the Magistrate with a relaxed expression that belies the terror gnawing at his insides.

 

[Ganhyun]

Evaneth merely washes and puts his clothing and such back on. The clothing provided on such short notice was a nice gesture, or just whatever prison clothes they happened to have on hand. None of it fits him well enough for him to be comfortable. After washing away the grime and dirt, Evaneth silently waits. Of everyone here, he might have the biggest issue, since he is obviously not of this plane, and unless his aura has changed, it will cause those here to react as Suvne did originally. Either way, this should prove interesting.

 

[KittenMaster]

Sarm almost feels that went well, and yet not unexpected. The hospitality they are receiving is like a reward for not trusting an evil and shady character. At the same time, they are now at Ruby Keep which everyone agreed would be a great risk to explore, and there is still Quintis' matters that have only gotten worse as time passed in the caves.

He changes into very modest commoner's clothes (or whatever is available provided) for now while soaking his garbs and scrubbing his armor. He casts Mending on his chainmail to begin melding together tinks and scratches that have been collecting over the past month or so. He studies himself in the mirror and takes a small blade provided to carefully carve the unwanted hairs from his face.

 

[Jackben]

Tarkus takes one look at the set of clothes layed out and shakes his head. He scrubs his body with soap and shaves his head and face as best he can. Taking the a bit of cloth from the clothes laid out, he dips it in soap and water and scrubs the inside of his armor and the garments he wears underneath his plate mail. He dries it out by stuffing some loose straw inside and shaking them out before he puts them back on, hoping it helps alleviate some of the grime and smell.

He expects Val and Quin will be nervous given their current location. He is similarly reluctant to be in the capital. He has never been in a large city before but whenever anyone important was around during his service in the mercenary corps, they looked upon Tarkus with disdain or worse. He learned early that during formal negotiations and non-combat movements he was best off taking a task that kept him hidden from view.

Suiting up he hopes that their stay in the Keep will be short.

 

[ThLunarian]

((In preparing for this scene, I was reviewing an earlier part of the thread and I laughed outloud again at Garland's "I am going to be relieved of duty" after he missed 5 attack rolls in a row. Good times.

Apologies to DeadPhoenix for moving a little fast today. It shouldn't be too hard to catch up though))

The guards at Ruby Keep are well-trained and. competent, but even so, some of them can't hide their fascination with the group who survived the Caves. Although technically the party is in their custody, they are being treated more like minor celebrities, being peppered with genuinely curious questions about their survival methods. They seem slightly afraid of Tarkus, but it's through a filter of respect, rather than one of prejudice. None seem to possess any capabilities of aura-sight, much to Evaneth's relief.

The Magistrate is considerably less star-struck. His office is on the ground floor of the castle, and it is very roomy. A window in the back reveals the first rate of sunshine any of you have seen since Iron Hill. He is writing on a scroll when you enter.

Small and possessing a thin goatee, Val and Quintus recognize him instantly as Thaddeus Birchheart. He has more bags under his eyes than when last you saw him, but otherwise he looks much the same.

"Well well, if it isn't Mister Santee and Misteru Mallory. Somehow I'm not surprised. I see your ranks have grown since last we met. I take it you were so impressed with Private Frem's battle prowess that you saw for to acquire another half-Orc companion?"

As he speaks, he addresses Sarm, and merely nods toward Tarkus at mention of half-orcs. There is some awkwardness in the air, as his tone is so devoid of inflection or emotion that it's impossible to tell whether he is being conversational, condescending, racist, or just trying to tell a joke.

Sarm hasn't the slightest idea who this man is.

"It's been a hundred years since anyone's come up from the caves. Standard protocols demand that no one is ever allowed to leave the Pit - it's reserved for only the most vile and deranged, irredeemable criminals. So, when it was discovered that the Pit happened to rest atop an ancient ruin of unknown origin, contingent protocols had to be developed, in the interest of justice. Protocol dictates that we first obtain statements from each of you, and then you will be held while a proper head count of prisoners is performed, and checked against our records. Once this is done, assuming there is nothing suspicious found during the investigation, you will be free to go.

"Let us get started, shall we?"

One by one, each party member has a private conversation with the Magistrate, where they are each asked their name, where they are from, and to describe events starting from their original foray underground up to their emergence in the Pit.

((For this, each of you use spoiler tags for your story. They are purposely separating you, and you're being watched at all times, so there is no opportunity for secrecy without the aid of magic.))

 

[KittenMaster]

((As a side note, I should probably deduct some silver coins from my GP total to buy more rations later since there's no way they wouldn't have been used during the cave trip.))

Sarm is back in his garbs now that they've been washed in making a formal appearance.

Being addressed, the statement from the man confuses Sarm. It's apparent in the movement of his facial muscles and he gives a quick glance to the party for some kind of silent explanation from someone.

Being put in his own private room, thoughts race his head: whether the truth will be enough, and how others' testimony might be taken different. He decides to do his best and sits forward, looking to the Magistrate as directly as he can:

Spoiler

"We had arrived at Iron Hill to rest, and were tasked to slay a.. magical giant snake claiming to be a god that were terrorizing the populace there. We had traveled into the mines to do so, and after we had succeeded, we found out that it was the work of a cultist from the Arm of Vecna acting as the snake.

An explosion, I assume triggered as a trap, had trapped us in a room which we fought the giant snake, and we were forced to exit through the mine rails that continued onward. We were then ambushed by cultists again through a head on collision, and we were nearly separated from there because half of us fell into the river below. We met up again, and continued down a set of caves the river led us to. It was very difficult, but we had just enough food to survive and enough light to manage the trip.

We did not know where we were going, nor that we would be heading to a prison under this fortification. When we arrived at the prison center, the Paladin with us was able to see that all of the prisoners had blackened hearts and it was clear to me that your underground prison was for the irredeemable as you said.

We had refused the offer from a prisoner that claimed he would break us out with his magic if we removed the collar, but we refused as his heart was also black, we had no wish to defy the order here, and we could see that he would simply be using us and would most likely use his magic only on himself. I ask your forgiveness for us having to break out like that. We had no other choice, and there was no way to contact a guardsmen for aid.."

 

[DeadPhoenix]

After washing up, getting into a change of clothes and meeting their old friend Thaddeus, Quintus gives his statement:

Spoiler

"Name's Quintus Mallory, as you are well aware. Nice seeing you again by the way. Sorry about that whole mess before, we had more pressing matters and the Lieutenant Bertrand guy you left in charge, sold us out to our enemies. Not that I blame you of course! He may have been an unbearable little dick, but I didn't see any reason not to trust him either.

Anyways, I'm from Emerald Bay Academy though more recently I've been working out of the City of Alydar, where me and some of my other compatriots are actually known as hero's around there. Just ask about the heroes of Alydar, they'll probably talk your ear off.

So how did we end up down there? Well, while traveling we stopped by the town of Iron Hill, where we heard a story about a giant snake slithering through the mines eating anyone it came across. Being the generous and self sacrificing people we are, we decided to help out by removing this pest for them. And after a harrowing battle against this evil beast, there was an explosion closing off the shaft we took to get there in the first place. So we decide to look for another exit, and after a quick run in with some more those guys who Lieutenant Bertrand sold us out to-They are quite the torn in our side as you may have guessed-we spent a couple days traveling that seemingly endless system of caves, until we finally found your fancy little prison down there. And let me tell you, I never thought I would be so happy to find myself in a prison! ...Not that I would like to go back of course."

 

[Mike M]

((Oooh, you son of a bitch... LOL. Gonna play it straight and not click those spoiler tags..))

Val's eyes momentarily go wide with dread at the prospect of separate interviews before studied in passiveness reasserts itself. There's been no time for coaching to assure consistency in the story, no one here understands the hand signals... Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Meeting Sarm's brief, confused glance, Val fingers the Mask of Lies that doubles as his glasses, hoping it jogs his memory that Val posed as him to give a deposition before the Magistrate at the seminary. It's the best he can do, given the circumstances.

---

Sitting in his own interrogation chamber, Val stares at the blank, unadorned stonework and tries to guess how each person will tell their tale. Trying to work out every conceivable story each person will give, he ties his brains into knots trying to devise reasonable explanations for any inconsistencies.

By the time his audience with the Magistrate comes around, he thinks he's as prepared as he's ever going to be.

Spoiler

Bluff check: 1d20 + 25 = 45! (("I am a fairy princess from a magical kingdom across the sea..."))

Uncharacteristically, Val has largely decided that honesty is the best policy. You know, except for all the lies (by omission or otherwise...)

Slumping in his seat before the gargoyle-esque, seemingly unblinking gaze of the Magistrate, Val gazes at his own feet and sullenly answers the inscrutable man's line of questioning.

"My name is Kaff Reyneel. I originally hail from right here in Ruby Keep, and... I'm in a bit over my head.

"I set out a few years ago to seek my fortune, like an idiot thinking that talking my way out of a few scrapes qualified the bookworm son of a locksmith to be an adventurer. The longer I went without making it big, the more I've... Embellished my credentials. Taken credit for deeds I had no part in. Eventually I fell in with this lot, half convinced myself that I was quite the capable combatant. And it's nearly gotten me killed.

"In Ironhill, we accepted a job to eliminate a monstrous snake stalking the mines. Thinking it was some summoned beast, we set out to defeat it and collect our reward. It turned out to not be any such summoned creature, but rather some sort of shape-changing mage. When he perished, the way we'd come through the mine collapsed behind us, trapping us within.

"We were under the impression that we could press on and find another exit. Instead we encountered nearly half a dozen of the mage's friends who were not happy to see us. We fought a pitched battle -- one I barely survived -- and eventually prevailed. Thinking we'd find an exit at any moment, we pressed on. How mistaken we were...

"Near as I can figure, we were down there for at least a week. The passage of time is hard to judge below ground, mind you. Fortunately, we were methodical and organized in our otherwise blind explorations, and eventually we found our way into ruins. In those ruins, we found stairs, which we ascended with great eagerness, and, well... you know how things went from there."

Val lifts his head and meets the Magistrate's eyes with a weary gaze. "I made maps of the caves," he offers cheerfully, as though that would somehow be of assistance.

Val catalogs his thoughts for follow up questions while he awaits response.

EDIT:

Spoiler

((For follow up questions, is my god-like bluff check roll still in effect, or would I need to reroll if Val chooses to lie again?))

 

[Ganhyun]

Evaneth sits in his interrogation room and looks around. It is simple. He thinks back to interrogation rooms he had had built himself back in Faerun. These were simpler in comparison, but just as effective.

Spoiler

My name is Evaneth. If I had a last name it is long since lost and unknown to me. I joined up with this group outside of Alydar. We traveled to Iron Hill and stopped. The townsfolk there were beset by a giant snake eating mine workers. Our group was tasked to take out the snake. The snake was an insane mage of Vecna as far as I could tell. We defeated him, but an explosion, possibly some sort of dead man's switch, blocked off the entrance we used to enter the mine.

Evaneth sips some water and continues.

Spoiler

We decided to continue into the mine, looking for a second exit. We were attacked on a bridge by more Vecna cultists. Myself and a few others were knocked off the bridge into a river below. We fought off a few cultists that ended up falling down as well. We managed to meet back up with the rest of our group, and we pressed on. We navigated some older mines and caves for about a week or so I think. We came upon a ruin with a staircase. We followed it up, and came out in that prison cell below. We attempted to use the food chute to contact a guard but could not reach anyone. Some of our group attempted to get us out when I guess your guards arrived. We were taken to freshen up and the rest you know.

Evaneth awaits any further questions.

 

[Pristine_Condition]

Just a lurker note to let you guys know how much I've enjoyed this thread. I only started reading it a few days ago, and finally caught up to current. Some really fine RP and creative writing going on here. Kudos to all of you. Happy adventuring!

 

[ThLunarian]

Just a lurker note to let you guys know how much I've enjoyed this thread. I only started reading it a few days ago, and finally caught up to current. Some really fine RP and creative writing going on here. Kudos to all of you. Happy adventuring!

((Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it!))

 

[Mike M]

((It's always weird to realize that other people follow this thread, makes me feel incredibly self conscious about how overwrought my writing can be. Glad people are enjoying it though : )))

 

[Ganhyun]

((Your guys' writing was the reason why I joined in.))

 

[Jackben]

"Let us get started, shall we?"

One by one, each party member has a private conversation with the Magistrate, where they are each asked their name, where they are from, and to describe events starting from their original foray underground up to their emergence in the Pit

((The first thing I thought when I read about us being separated with spoiler tagged stories was 'man Val is fucked!' haha.))

Tarkus observes the magistrate with curiousity, puzzled by his strange and aloof matter-of-fact nature but mostly unperturbed. As they are separated for private questioning Tarkus complies and shuffles quietly into the place.

Spoiler

"My name Tarkus Rook from far east wilds. Come to kingdom to serve Tarley family as security for farm." Tarkus closes his eyes, his own memory of first coming to the kingdom foggy and unpleasant. His stomach grumbles, breaking him from his reverie and he continues. "After farm sacked by Vecna troops I swear vengeance. To prove I can protect. Meet with others in Alydar and join group. We travel to fight greencloak cult and adventure aiding towns."

Tarkus takes a moment and thinks to thier recent exploits. He realizes he is perhaps being unnecesarily detailed and so tries to speed up his recount to the more relevant points.

"We went into Iron Hill mine to exterminate a giant snake eating dwarves. It was a magick snake and we killed it. But it was a trap. Ended up sealed in mine and fighting cult in bitter combat, barely surviving before travelling for many days until found ruin leading to prison."

Tarkus stands up, finishing his recount before awkwardly retaking his seat.

"Once in prison I try to yell for guard and keep blighters away so we can escape. That is when we are found by guards."

 

[ThLunarian]

((Lol at Val. Yeah, I'm finding that one of the greatest advantages of PbP gaming for a DM is the ease of selectively hiding information. I was shaking my fist at you for the Natural 20 on the bluff check, though That could've been a delicious conversation, but a 45 is a 45.

You're all free to highlight each others' stories now if you'd like))

The Magistrate, after asking his initial questions, remains quiet as each of you tells your story, taking notes on a piece of parchment (though at Val's mention of "Kaff Reyneel", he does look up for a moment and mouths the name to himself, as though trying to remember what sounds familiar about it; eventually he gives up and keeps writing). When you stop talking, he looks up and waits a moment to make sure you are done, then thanks you and dismisses you, surprisingly without any further questions.

One by one, each of you are brought to a waiting room; those who have already given their statement are allowed to confer in private, no doubt hastily trying to compare the stories you told and check for inconsistencies.

Everyone has given a statement in the span of about an hour, and then another two hours passes as the guards perform the previously described process of comparing the prisoners in the Pit with the records. During that time, you are given refreshments.

Finally, the Magistrate himself comes to the waiting room. "Your statements all appear to have described the same series of events. Deviations were within the standard acceptable limits, and there is no one in the Pit who shouldn't be there.

"There is the matter of your attempted break-in to the prison. According to the letter of the law, that ought to sentence you to a week in a holding cell. However," and he looks at Sarm and Quintus specifically here, "Your heroic efforts in assisting Privates Frem and Garland during the ambush upon their wagon are enough to satisfy the provision for an official pardon, considering the nature of the infraction and its extenuating circumstances. You are all free to go." He leaves the room as soon as he stops talking, apparently believing this whole business to be concluded.

The six of you are escorted out of this particular hallway of the castle and are brought to the public area - a large room that's reminiscent of the first room of the old Mayor's House in Alydar, only many orders of magnitude larger: a long, very wide stone hallway leads up to a comfortable throne, meant for the King during scheduled audiences. Guards are posted at each entrance to most of the other rooms, in order to both monitor visitors and keep them out of adjoining rooms. Along the wall are display cases, showcasing various valuable artifacts from dynasties past.

There are quite a few people milling about in here, most of them obviously awe-struck tourists. Among them are elves, humans, tieflings, half-elves, dwarves, and even a full-blooded orc, at whom no one is even batting an eye.

The exit from the castle is a huge, wide-open door, and beyond that is a short, sturdy, retractable bridge over a moat; beyond that is the city proper.

The Capital City Rabanastre Ruby Keep

Ruby Keep is a bustling metropolis, with a more diverse population than some of you were probably expecting. Easily ten times the size of Alydar at a bare minimum, the cobblestone streets are filled with people. Vendors along the sides of those streets peddle their wares; entertainers perform, hoping to receive a silver or two for their troubles. Shops, pubs, inns, brothels, and countless other services can be found on every block.

((You can find anything with a book price of 100,000 gold or less available for sale without any trouble. If it costs more than that, it's rare and would take a bit more effort, but you shouldn't have to worry about that for a while anyway.

Also if you want to sell anything, you can get half of its book-price value without any trouble. A Diplomacy roll might get you an additional discount; if you use it, just make a single roll for the entire transaction. Roleplaying the haggle will probably help too))

Though there are quite a few taller buildings in Ruby Keep, the two obviously-tallest in the city are the Castle, which you just came out of, and the Church of Heironeous, nearly as tall as the Castle at the tip of its spire (but clearly not as wide by a long shot). The Church also appears quite ancient in contrast with the rest of the buildings in the city.

((You're all free to roam about the city. Oh yeah, and everyone gain a level. This will put Suvne at Level 7, and everyone else at Level 9. At this point, Quintus, let me know which spells you're automatically learning, and which ones you might decide to buy here in town, because it will be important for me to know your capabilities when I plan out the plot))

 

[Mike M]

((The first thing I thought when I read about us being separated with spoiler tagged stories was 'man Val is fucked!' haha.))

((Lol at Val. Yeah, I'm finding that one of the greatest advantages of PbP gaming for a DM is the ease of selectively hiding information. I was shaking my fist at you for the Natural 20 on the bluff check, though That could've been a delicious conversation, but a 45 is a 45.

((I feel like an achievement notification should have popped up after that roll, lol.))

 

[KittenMaster]

((For Val)

Even Sarm is relieved that the stories have checked out. Not only because Val managed to leave the room convincingly, but also because they never asked why they were going to Iron Hill to begin with.

When they are relieved from being held in a cell, Sarm continues to feel like a piece of his life is missing with the mention of having helped a couple of their men.

While walking through the city with the others, this is the first time he feels like there is no fame or notoriety about him since before the Clementine incident. The variety of races here also strike him like a colorful painting.

 

[Mike M]

((Rolled a 10 on the hit die, dice are on fire lately for me. Heh. Updated character sheet coming when I can get to it... We get a new feat, right? Man, no idea what I want, I should have been thinking about this well in advance as long as it takes me to decide.))

Val exits into the public hallway looking like nothing so much as the cat that ate the canary. Never in a million years did he expect to be able to walk right out of the clutches of the Magistrate of his own volition like that, so thoroughly sold on what he was selling that even if he were connected to his true name and exploits he's laid the foundation to cast off suspicion with relative ease. This was the sort of thing that would be considered the crowning achievement as a display of his ability at deception.

If only there were still a cadre of like-minded compatriots that were waiting at home to share his achievement with...

The grand hall holds little interest for Val. As a life-long resident of the city, he's more than well acquainted with the contents of the display cases. More than well acquainted, actually... "Something they won't tell you during the guided tour," he whispers to his companions, "is that once per generation the Val Fierno clan makes off with one of the artifacts in this very hall and leaves a masterwork forgery in its place. See if you can guess which one's mine!"

Leading the pack, he marches straight across the moat and beholds the city proper for the first time in what seems like a lifetime. Fitting that his return to his home would be from the vantage of the castle high above the town. Closing his eyes, he lets the sounds and smells of Ruby Keep wash over him like a soothing balm. For a moment, he can almost pretend that all the problems and dangers stalking his every move are behind him, and he could at any minute return to the ancestral home beneath the streets and find his family waiting for him...

The reality of the situation presently reasserts itself, and brings with it the cold discomfort of the dire peril that lies just below the surface. Turning to face everyone else, he reminds them of this fact. "I doubt we'll have to worry about the guards while we're here thanks to the Magistrate's generosity in his assessment of the events, but they were only ever a threat to me. Still, it's good to be able to move freely through the town without fear of the law. I solemnly swear to be on my utmost behavior and not succumb to the temptation of doing anything that might endanger our current good standing in the eyes of the law.

"The larger concern though is that we are now in the very heart of the cult's seat of power. They probably wield more power here than anywhere else on the continent, and we're living on borrowed time before they bring the brunt of that power down upon our heads. Our exploits in the prison will spread to their ears, if it hasn't already. We should find the relic and depart post haste. Maybe even depart post haste and find the relic later.

"Ironhill still owes us quite a large sum of money for disposing of their snake problem, after all. I'm just saying..."

 

[KittenMaster]

((I was about to live my day having forgotten to level up. With that said, rolled 2 on d8 & 4 on d10.

I know for sure I'm going to get a Metamagic feat, because I need one to get Prestige, and it's probably a good option anyway.))

Sarm whispers back to Val, "If only they knew... With the fame behind it, the imitation could be valuable in itself."

Back in town, Sarm says, "Yes, we still haven't checked back with the people in Iron Hill, Tarkus' goat was left behind, my wagon is still there, and we agreed to help Quintis, and we have been delayed days on that matter. I do think it might be best to come back here later."

 

[DeadPhoenix]

((hp: 1D4+2=> [ 4 ] +2 = 6 ...woot. Anyways, I decided to pick up Teleport and Fire Shield, Mass. Of course I also got Baleful Polymorph from my school and a 5th level necro spell from the Hand. No other spells though, due to a lack of funds(sitting at 9 cp right now). Unfortunately due to our big party it will actually take two casts of Teleport to move us all(thankfully my int gives me an extra spell)... And that is assuming I can choose to not be teleported with the rest of the group on the first cast(of course, I could also actually use my free level 1 feat and just make extra scrolls...).))

"While I'd like to hurry and find the artifact here as soon as possible, some... additional funding would not hurt. Thankfully as my powers continue to grow, moving from town to town has just become much easier. I can now cast teleport, which will allow us instantly travel several hundred miles at a time."

 

[ThLunarian]

((I'm gonna Houserule it and allow you to transport the entire party at once by using 2 castings of Teleport. Not technically allowed by the rules, but it's fine in my game. You're allowed to teleport to any location on the plane you're currently on that we've visited during this campaign. Go ahead and use the Percentage table under the Teleport spell for now. If you want to go to Emerald Bay, use the results table for "Studied Carefully", since you haven't been there recently and have never teleported there before.

Once you gain a level or two, we'll forget about the table because it's kind of annoying and doesn't make sense for higher-level characters, but for now you're still getting the hang of the spell.

Edit: As for the distance requirements, I'm going to ballpark it and say that the continent is 1000 miles across from end to end. So from Ruby Keep, you could teleport anywhere except for Emerald Bay.))

 

[Ganhyun]

((I'll update my character when Im back home. I'm currently at the girlfriend's parents' house to celebrate her sister's graduation and engagement. I should be back home sometime tomorrow.

Also, I'll likely be incommunicado next weekend completely as I move to be closer to a new job.))

 

[Mike M]

((Still don't know what feat I want, but character sheet is otherwise updated. Trying to decide between Combat Expertise (just so I can pick Improved Feint next time), Improved Diversion, Nimble Fingers, Negotiator, or maybe Skill Focus. Kinda leaning towards Combat Expertise to make him a little more versatile in a fight and it seems to be a prerequisite for a bunch of feats.

Leadership is an outside possibility. Val being in Ruby Keep and coming from a background of inheriting and passing on his name, it could make story sense to pick up a protege. Plus if Val dies, hey, he's got a replacement! Don't want to be biting on Sarm's style though.))

 

[Jackben]

((Hit die: 1d10+5 = 8, picked up Iron Will as my feat.))

Tarkus looks upon the rich splendor and decadence of the Keep with eyes wide with amazement, perhaps not out of place among the other tourists walking through, mouths agape. It is all he can do to shuffle along at the brisk pace Val has set as he leads them through a brief tour with the commanding presence that only comes from one who is greatly familiar with his territory. He hardly has the presence to smirk at Val's boast of grand theft and forgery as his eyes soak in the sights before them. Tarkus is awe-struck as he takes it all in, for the first time fully exposed to how the other half lives. From the splendor of the bright and colorfully decorated tapestries that adorn the walls, the well-kept and pristine rugs and decorations; the mystique and grandeur of the royal artifact displays and the suits of armor and ornament of the royal soldiers and men at arms; all are more wondrous than Tarkus could have ever imagined.

As he walks, a realization begins to form in his mind. Ruby Keep and it's inhabitants are truly a grand departure from the mundane existence he has been accustomed to: a living eked out as a mercenary and vagabond full of survivalism and struggle in opposition to the grandiose and decadent royal splendor on display before them. This is a place of Kings and Queens; home of Champions of the realm, birthplace of influential nobles and wealthy merchants, training grounds for stalwart soldiers and peerless generals. Tarkus sees the nature of true glory and he vows to himself to capture the respect and status it commands for himself. Exiting the castle and stepping out over the bridge, he looks amongst the great crowds of bustle people with curiosity, the diverse populous of the capital another source of wonder. Spotting a pure Orc he considers attempting to communication but decides against it. With a sting of sadness he realizes all his memories of life are in slavery or growing up in human ruled societies. He does not expect a half-blood would be looked upon favorably by another Orc.

Tarkus pauses to examine the Greataxe +3 the party retrieved from the fallen cultists, reflecting on its symbolism as a Orcish weapon while he waits for the party to decide their next course of action.

 

[ThLunarian]

((I will have to veto Leadership as an option for Val. There would be too many party members running around in that case, especially with the possibility of a 6th actual PC joining soon.))

 

[KittenMaster]

((The only reason I picked up Leadership is because at the time the plot was treating Sarm as if he already had it. All of the NPCs at Alydar were at his beck and call and were helping him even though there wasn't much reason to other than him healing them.))

 

[ThLunarian]

((Makes total sense, Sarm, and I don't have an issue with yours. It's just that more than one person having it is too many, and you got first dibs.

Also, since everyone has spoken up, can I get some indication of what you guys are doing next? I understand that you want to teleport to Iron Hill soon, but it was ambiguous whether you wanted to do some business in Ruby Keep first))

 

[Jackben]

((Makes total sense, Sarm, and I don't have an issue with yours. It's just that more than one person having it is too many, and you got first dibs.

Also, since everyone has spoken up, can I get some indication of what you guys are doing next? I understand that you want to teleport to Iron Hill soon, but it was ambiguous whether you wanted to do some business in Ruby Keep first))

((I'd like to do a bit of shopping in Ruby Keep before we went to Iron Hill, but I wanted to make sure what I wanted to do was possible before I role-played it out, check your PM.))

 

[Mike M]

((Gonna go with Combat Expertise then. And once we return to Ironhill and collect the rest of our things, Ruby Keep seems as good a destination as any. Closer than Emerald Bay, and Val's not worried about the law at the moment. It's not like the cult is going to stop being a threat at any point.))

 

[DeadPhoenix]

((Well, I don't think we have actually rested yet, so i can't teleport us yet anyways, might as well do some stuff in town while we wait.))

Quintus suggests they find an inn or some other form of lodging, so they can all meet up there tomorrow morning and decide then where what they are going to do. Once a suitable place is found, Quintus will go look for the local library.

 

[KittenMaster]

((Let's not forget that there's still that one guy from Alydar that's trying to screw over Quintis, not sure how much of a priority that is though.))

Sarm agrees, and wonders where the best place would be, if there are even any available with the number of people touring the city.

 

[ThLunarian]

Having been denied the simple luxury of a bed to sleep in for far too long, the party makes finding lodging their top priority. Val leads them to the Prancing Mare, an upscale, but popular and busy inn where they won't stand out. Although pricier than the average run-of-the-mill roadside inn, clocking in at 3 gold per room per night, each room comes with a warm bath and up to three hearty meals on the house.

Perception DC 23

Spoiler

There is a nondescript woman, obviously dressed to blend in and with her face partially covered, sitting alone in a corner of the populated bar. She is watching the party curiously, and if she is noticed, she merely keeps eye contact until you look away.

Knowledge Local DC 30, but ONLY if you passed the Perception check

Spoiler

That girl looks a lot like Princess Alma, who is notorious for never, ever leaving the castle.

After checking into their rooms, Tarkus and Quintus set about their business, Tarkus making his way toward one of the various market districts in town and Quintus seeking out the nearest library, and finding it without much trouble.

 

[DeadPhoenix]

((got a 22 on the perception check... perfect chance to use my +17 K:Local wasted!))

Quintus begins a possibly futile search for any information on these artifacts they've been collecting... Especially anything related to where exactly they came from and what exactly they were created for.

((not quite sure what, if any, skill I should be rolling here...))

 

[Mike M]

Perception check:  1d20 + 9 = 24

((Local Knowledge isn't high enough to beat that DC, which from a character perspective is hilarious))

"Quintus is right, anything we want to do can wait until the morrow." Clasping his hands together, he grins broadly. "Well, as long as we're going to dally a bit in the Keep, let me show you around."

Despite having expressed reservations about returning to Ruby Keep after the events that led to his departure, it's clear that being here in the bustle of the continent's capital has revitalized his already animated persona. Like someone who has just embraced a friend most dear after a long separation, he can barely contain his glee.

Gliding through the teeming throngs of humanoids in the streets, it seems as though the crowds never even touch him. There's always a gap to sidle through, or an unexpected parting to step through as he waxes almost manic in his retelling of anecdotes punctuated by interjections of the quality of wares or food of a particular venue in the proximity.

His revelry comes to an abrupt halt as he turns a corner and stands before a burned out lot, clearly in the process of being cleared out for new construction. Amidst the riot of colors and activities, no one pays mind to this silent, blackened husk but Val.

His mouth tries fruitlessly to form words about this site, but fails. Turning away from the scene, he faces his companions with glassy eyes. "Let's continue on, shall we?" he says in a choked, hoarse voice.

The remainder of the trip is considerably less exuberant, though by the time they reach their destination, Val seems to have gotten back up to speed. "Lady and gentlemen, the Prancing Mare. Good food, warm baths, soft beds, attractive women. We had occasion to use this venue for... Business meetings. Easily my favorite place in town to lay my head outside my home."

Inside he pays for room and board for the night, and slides up to the bar to enjoy the first real meal he's had in a week. Polishing off his tankard of ale, he catches the eye of a lass on the other end of the bar. Smiling (well, smirking), he raises his tankard to her before finishing its contents and paying up. As an after thought, he tells the tender to settle the tab for the fair lady as well.

Staggering up the stairs, the excitement of the day and the last week in general take their toll. The bed in his room is the most wondrous sight he's ever seen, and he flops gracelessly upon it without even stripping into his small clothes.

He's asleep before he even hits the pillow.

 

[Jackben]

Tarkus follows Val with the rest of the group for a quick tour of the city. Noticing Val's response to the wreckage he wonders if something should be said but decides on keeping a respectful silence. After the party checks into their rooms, Tarkus excuses himself from the group and makes his way into the market district. He has some specific upgrades in mind, the near fatal fall and week long trek in the darkness still fresh on his mind.

The streets are still well-kept but decidedly more narrow with people pushing to and fro from the different carts of merchants selling their wares. Tarkus finds it a bit overwhelming but most seem to keep their distance. Thinking of Val, he keeps one hand on his coin purse at all times as he makes his way towards the sound of a hammer striking an anvil. The smoke and ash emanating from the forge stings his eyes as he pushes apart the animal pelts covering the doorway and walks into the warmth of the earthen shop. A small and coal covered apprentice with bushy brown hair walks over to greet him.

"Need weapon smith."

A few moments later a burly man with tanned skin and a dark gray beard appears. "What can you tell about this". Tarkus asks, handing him the Greataxe +3. Discussing arms with the gray-bearded smith turns out to be quite informative. The man's name is Joern and he is able to adjust the grips on the handle to Tarkus requirements as well as provide a few tips on how the two-handed axe can be effectively wielded. On the smith's advice he decides to change up his fighting style and use the Greataxe as his new weapon of choice. The smith offers to take the Greatsword +2 he has been using thus far off his hands in exchange for a hefty sack of coins, to which Tarkus accepts. Tarkus thanks the man and pays his apprentice a gold coin before leaving.

His newly acquired wealth burning a hole in his belt, his feet find themselves quickly drawn down a street full of mysterious fragrances and glowing lights. While there he purchases a ring which will provide nourishment in the absence of food and allows him to gain a full night's rest from only two hours of sleep. In addition he is able to find an enchanter engraves magic runes upon his plate armor that provide additional damage mitigation and protection.

Satisfied albeit greatly relieved of wealth, he returns to the tavern for a quick meal before turning in for the night.

 

[KittenMaster]

Perception: 1d20 + 6, rolled 20 (it was a beautiful physical roll too, I wish I had a vid of it) = 26

((Unfortunately I'm not trained in Knowledge: Local))​

Sarm, with the rest of the party follows Val to his choice of inn. He has gotten used to being overlooked for the most part, but not so used to needing to break through walls of men forming crowds around shanty food stands.

Walking into the inn, Sarm finds himself in a surprisingly well kept establishment with higher class people on average than the folks int he urban setting. Being a Cleric, this may be one of the few locations outside of a church or temple where he is not a square placed in a round hole.

Knowing that, he sees that he may get some nods but for the most part people are at their business as usual. He pays the three gold with no complaints, adventurers like himself tend to become rich fairly quickly although such an outcome makes little sense to him. Suvne would purchase a room as well.

Sitting at a dinner table eating one of the meals. He is rather quiet but enjoying himself. Looking towards the others, Sarm decides to make friendly conversation on a rather mundane and everyday subject for the adventurers, "We're being watched." He then takes another bite and chews it a moment before swallowing it, "I stand out like fire in darkness," which is true both figuratively and literally, "but only one person seems to have noticed and I have no idea who she is." If it were any other character, he would either buy the girl a drink or ask Val to do it to see what is up, but it's Sarm. He's incapable of suave.

((I'll do my shopping off-screen since we'll most likely be out of Ruby Keep by the time I know what I want from there.))

 

[ThLunarian]

((Quintus, the closest analogous skill I can come up with for doing research is Decipher Script, so I rolled it for you. Your online character sheet doesn't seem to be updated to Level 9 yet, so you either got a 29 or a 30 depending on whether you're giving yourself another rank in that skill. Either way won't make a big difference))

Quintus spends the rest of the daylight hours, and some of the night, poring over ancient tomes from varying ages of civilization, for the time being ignoring the very strong desire to take a long, hot bath and collapse onto a feathered mattress. Despite the bags rapidly forming under his eyes toward the end of his study session, he believes he's found something.

After piecing together fragments of varied texts, including childrens' fairy tales, research papers, and memoirs from prominent historical figures and adventurers, he has developed a list of nine probable deities and their associated artifacts. These artifacts include:

-The Hand of Vecna
-The Rod of Pelor
-Ioun's Monocle (Ioun is the Goddess of Knowledge)
-The Fangs of Set
-Ehlonna's Armor of Falling Leaves (Ehlonna is a Goddess of Forests and Woodlands)
-The Belt of Ao
-The Chalice of Heironeous (God of Chivalry and Honor)
-The Mask of Hextor (God of War and Tyranny)
-The Boots of Farlangh

The tenth item is somewhat inconclusive. Quintus finds specific mention of three other deities who supposedly made their mark on the world at some point in the past few millennia: Olidammara, the God of Trickery (who Quintus recalls was also mentioned in Curzon's encrypted journal); Mayaheine, the Goddess of Justice and Valor; and Erythnul, the God of Hatred and Slaughter. Quintus's research turns up no results on what any of these gods' possible artifacts could be, which is why he can't discount any of them.


After a long day and partial night studying, a bleary-eyed Quintus returns to the Prancing Mare. Upon entering the establishment, a young woman approaches him. She is obviously trying to conceal her appearance; an oversized cloak is wrapped around her, a hood covers her hair, and a scarf covers the bottom half of her face. Her eyes are striking, and you can see excitement in them.

"Sir," she speaks, and her voice confirms her youth, "Your friend did me a great kindness by paying my tab, but I wouldn't feel right accepting his generosity, for reasons I wish not to disclose. Would you please return this to the man you're traveling with? I believe he goes by the name of Kaff." She hands Quintus 20 gold, which seems rather steep for a bar tab; there must be some kind of gratuity included here.

Knowledge Local DC 30

Spoiler

This woman bears a striking resemblance to Princess Alma - the King's only daughter, who is famous for almost NEVER leaving the confines of the Castle.

--------

In the course of Tarkus's romp through the market district, between shops he abruptly finds himself face to face with a full-blooded orc - the same one that caught his attention in the castle.

"Lok'Tar, half-brother," the Orc says in his native Orcish tongue, using the honorific to convey respect. He double-pounds his fist to his heart as a greeting. "I am Martok. Your gaze did not go unnoticed in the Castle. It is always honorable to encounter a strong, noble warrior of the Orcish blood, especially one who is not swayed by the temptations of evil men."

Martok is dressed smartly, in the well-fit garb of the merchant class. His skin is green (green and grey being by far the most common colors of Orcish skin). His accent is such that you can tell Orcish isn't his only known language.

"You bear the scars of a hard life. I can tell that your eyes have seen many things. You must know that most pink-skins think Orc-kind are savage creatures at best; pure evil at worst. I try to change this. Started campaign to reform image of Orc-kind. Efforts in Ruby Keep mostly successful; this is why we are accepted here. Elsewhere, not so good.

"In recent moons, many of our kind swayed by temptations of evil men. Join secret cult and abandon efforts to fit into society with pink-skins. We must work to change this. You see Orc in travels, try talk sense into him. You see pink-skin who is afraid, educate him that we are not all swayed by the temptations of evil men."

Martok hands Tarkus a cheap sheet of parchment with a street address written on it. "Headquarters of Orcish Reformation Party. Welcome any time. You and pink-skin friends."

He smiles at Tarkus and extends his hand, and now speaks in common, "It's been a pleasure speaking to you, Tarkus. I wish you and your traveling companions the best of luck in your travels. Lok'Tar."

 

[DeadPhoenix]

Glad to see all those years of study and research at the academy haven't gone to waste, Quintus heads to Prancing Mare for some rest, where he's 'meets' a fine young lass... tired as all hell he doesn't think to much of it. He then 'borrows' three gold to pay for his room and immediately heads there to get some shut eye. Once they awake, he hands the rest of the gold to 'Kaff' and says "This is from some lady you meet last night. She said something about not being able to accept your generosity."

((I did level up... I just forgot to do my skill points and change my level, but that is fixed now.))

 

[ThLunarian]

((Apologies for the double post, Tarkus.

Sarm, you can be in the bar for this scene if you want, since you never said you were going to bed. Same goes for Evaneth, if he returns soon enough to see this))

That evening, when Tarkus returns to the Prancing Mare, he is met with a scene in the bar. Three Ruby Keep soldiers are attempting to restrain a small, young woman who is wearing oversized traveling robes, designed to conceal her appearance. The rest of the patrons are looking on awkwardly, clearly feeling bad for the girl but not willing to cross the King's men.

"I don't WANT to go back!" she says angrily, squirming as they attempt to get a handle on her, though it's also obvious that they're trying not to harm her (which is why they're having such a hard time).

"It's for your own good!" one of the men says in frustration.

"We're only acting on the King's orders!"

"You're in danger out here!" the third tries to whisper, but he does a poor job of lowering his voice amidst the struggle.

"I assure you, sir," the girl says venomously, "There is absolutely no way that ANY harm shall come upon me! Now let me GO!" She begins flailing wildly, socking one of her captors in the jaw. This gives her enough leeway to break free; she begins to run, and promptly slams into Tarkus - and the collision has significantly more force to it than he would expect.

The girl seems physically unfazed, but a little surprised as she looks up at the relatively huge half-orc; the soldiers are already coming this way.

 

[Jackben]

((No problem, I actually find this pretty amusing since I didn't bother rolling a perception check for Tarkus haha. He doesn't have any abilities in perception or search, maybe too reliant on hawk-eyed Quin and Val the appraiser.))

Tarkus is in equal parts bewildered and humbled by his encounter with the well-spoken Orc. In greeting he gives a clenched-fist salute over his heart but is disarmed by the merchant's genteel and refreshingly agreeable nature. "In truth, have not spoken with another orcblood since left service of Storm Crows." Tarkus views the Orc with a mix of curiosity and respect as he listens to what he has to say.

At first he responds in the short, militaristic tone he is used to when speaking in Orcish but begins to relax as the conversation continues. "You speak many truths. Many things myself acted upon but not thought before." He pauses to describe briefly how he has had many encounters with enemy brothers in sway of the green-cloaked cult.

He accepts the parchment with a raised brow, his conservative nod betrayed by the look of excitement in his eyes. "Your logic brings much understanding and peace of mind." Indeed, Tarkus believes he may even have found a lead for further information regarding the movements of the cult for the rest of the relic hunters. He makes a mental reminder to speak with Sarm regarding the meeting and perhaps finding the source of where Vecna recruits its members.

"Lok'Tar, elder brother" he replies as the Orc bids him farewell. He stands there holding the pamphlet for a few moments before folding it safely within his cloak and continuing towards the tavern with renewed purpose.
- - -

She begins flailing wildly, socking one of her captors in the jaw. This gives her enough leeway to break free; she begins to run, and promptly slams into Tarkus - and the collision has significantly more force to it than he would expect.

The girl seems physically unfazed, but a little surprised as she looks up at the relatively huge half-orc; the soldiers are already coming this way.

Tarkus grunts in surprise at the collision, caught unprepared having not been paying attention as he walked into the tavern. He looks down at the young woman, slightly impressed she was able to make such an impact for her size.

Undeterred, he takes a step back and steadies her with his arm. "Good charge. But for what...?" he asks, as his eyes look out across the room. The familiar murmur of drunken chatter has quieted as the patrons fail to pretend to not being staring intently at the encounter.

Tarkus intensely dislikes this brand, the kind of person who pays morbid attention to the plight of another but refuses to get involved. Taking a chance he asks the girl "What is your will?" as the guardsmen briskly walk towards them.

 

[ThLunarian]

The girl's face lights up with a smile so radiant that Tarkus briefly entertains the possibility that he is in the presence of an angel. "I want to see the world!" she exclaims with such intensity and conviction that it's contagious.

She then chances to glance behind her, noticing the beleaguered soldiers, and scampers around Tarkus, leaving nothing between him and them.

"Stay out of this, half-orc," the soldier in the lead says in an authoritative, yet not impolite, tone. "We are under the King's direct authority. Interfering could bring about charges of obstruction." These do not seem like bad people, and they speak to Tarkus with genuine due respect - a very stark contrast to the slave-drivers he has previously endured orders from, across the sea.

The girl is staying put behind Tarkus, but seems ready to flee at a moment's notice, her trust in the half-orc's protection still fragile and uncertain.

 

[KittenMaster]

Sarm is just standing up to wish Tarkus a night and head to his room when his thought process is interrupted by the commotion that excels even the local bard's dreadful folk song. He glances over his shoulder and back to the scene with a raised brow, feeling like the escalated front might simply be that: an escalation of a much smaller problem.

Sarm steps out of the way instinctively, not realizing he gave more leeway for Tarkus to be bumped into.

With her business now made into theirs, Sarm turns to the Ruby Keep men and immediately finds him defending what she had just said by channeling his own experiences, "Sirs.. Do let me say that seeing the world can be good for a person.. And I assure you that my friend here won't harm her."

 

[Jackben]

Tarkus closes his eyes momentarily, the minor conflict buzzing in his mind. He tries to think a few steps ahead and quickly realizes that despite her impassioned plea, any solution is but a carrot on a stick given that she appears to be someone highly valued by the King. She has to go back eventually... He turns to whisper to the girl, speaking in a level voice, tempered with empathy. "Some think you not ready. And if guard already on your case, perhaps true. Why you fight this?" Expecting further protest he interjects "If you escape once, still is hope for again. Best Tarkus can do is delay return."

Tarkus turns back to address the guardsmen while thinking to himself What would Kaff Rayneel do? Taking his imagination of Val's charm and tweaking it to his style, he considers if perhaps the attention the scene is attracting might be put to use with some intimidation.

Spoiler

intimidate check: 1d20 [14] + 15= 29

"If she is valued by King, why take her at night? Not wise, many dangers in Keep of late. And she does not seem will to go. Does concern for royally value person mean an obstruct of justice?" Tarkus sizes the guards up silently. "If she must leave now and safety is concern, will you object my friend and I to accompany to ensure safe passage?"

 

[ThLunarian]

The three guards exchange glances. Their facial expressions betray a strong belief that even all three together are no match for Tarkus by himself, and given that Sarm seems to be an additional threat, they acknowledge that they are completely outmatched.

"We, ah... well, if you..."

Just as the soldier is about to acquiesce to Tarkus's offer, the girl bolts toward the door, opens it, and scurries away.

"Gods damn it! After her!" the soldier says. All three begin moving again, making sure to give Tarkus a wide berth; if no one makes a move to stop or follow them, they leave the bar, and the atmosphere inside rapidly returns to normal.

 

[Jackben]

((Facepalm ka-pow. How did I know that was going to happen? Next she'll get killed and some street urchin will go Hannibal on her and it will be all Tarkus fault.))

Tarkus flashes Sarm an apologetic look, regretting having involved him in what was perhaps an unwise decision. Figuring it's far too late to regret involving himself, he runs out the door to see if he can spot her before the guards catch up. "Folly of youth...or something more?" he thinks to himself, recalling the party's recount of the insane mayor's daughter. He silently swears to himself that he better not have aided another Clementine as his pupils tint orange and dilate to reveal the darkness.

 

[ThLunarian]

Tarkus pokes his head outside just in time to see the girl turn a corner, and not far behind her, the Ruby Keep soldiers are keeping pace. At their current rate, it seems unlikely that she will outrun them; she doesn't seem particularly street-savvy, despite her high level of moxie.

 

[Jackben]

Tarkus reckons he is no Aladdin and if returning her to the castle means not getting a magic carpet ride, at least he can sleep soundly knowing there isn't an evil magician involved or something. He breaks into a run to catch up and see that she is at least escorted safely back.

((This is like a filler episode for comedic relief until Evaneth and Val get back.

Quest for the Relics Episode 243: Sorry Tarkus, the princess is in another castle))

 

[Mike M]

((This is like a filler episode for comedic relief until Evaneth and Val get back.

Quest for the Relics Episode 243: Sorry Tarkus, the princess is in another castle))

((I won't lie, the first thing I thought of were the Geordi and Data B-Plots from the TNG Season 8 twitter feed.))