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Rape charge dropped against USC student after evidence of consent presented

Which unfortunately happens a lot.

Yup, young people being away from home for the first time with no supervision and alcohol combine to make for some very bad situations. No fun allowed, I know, but colleges should be alcohol free and it should be strictly enforced. That's not to say it doesn't happen outside of college but it gives people more time to grow up and for their brains to finish developing so maybe they don't get into these situations as often.
 

Mesoian

Member
Watch the link, come back and tell me if she is saying you should constantly ask for consent.

She's not. Edited my post. People are confusing pillow talk with repeatedly asking for consent. You best believe if she leaves the room mid coitus, then returns with a butter knife, two lemons and large piece of sandpaper and asks me if I'm still in, I'm going to say no and piece.
 
So GAF apparently is full of people who don't understand how consent works, or rape for that matter. Also of people with an irrational fear and paranoia of hooking up with strangers.

Hmm I should start choosing the threads in OT I enter wisely.
 
That's how people are taking it though, clearly.

Because they didn't watch the video that was linked, they just assumed she said or implied something that wasn't there.

There is zero way you can take it that way if you watched the video. If you did, and that was your take away...maybe we should talk.
 
Because they didn't watch the video that was linked, they just assumed she said or implied something that wasn't there.

There is zero way you can take it that way if you watched the video. If you did, and that was your take away...maybe we should talk.

I didn't but there are multiple people in this thread making the argument that you need to "maintain consent" I almost responded to one a few pages back but left it alone until I saw another person make the same argument.
 
I didn't but there are multiple people in this thread making the argument that you need to "maintain consent" I almost responded to one a few pages back but left it alone until I saw another person make the same argument.

Um, you should maintain consent.

You guys, this shit isn't that difficult. No one is saying, okay it has been three thrusts, I need to verbally ask "Do you consent".
 
there is a healthy middle ground between constantly asking and not asking

you can even do it in a sexy way if you're a cool guy

I have never asked if I could have sex, or for her consent. There are obvious signs and visible and audible cues you can pick up on if your partner is with it or not.
 

Mesoian

Member
So why do millenials have less sexual partners than any generation in the last 60 years?

The time of free love is over?

Honestly, it's more likely due to the fact that we're working harder and longer than any generation before us, so we take moments of companionship, healthy or otherwise when we can get them.
 
I watched a Laci Green video that said just that. Guys should constantly ask for consent during sex.

https://youtu.be/TD2EooMhqRI?t=1m20s

That's a blatant misrepresentation of this video.

She gives examples of ways to check consent, ranging from simple "Do you like that?" or "You look uncomfortable, are you okay?" etc. Paying attention to the body language of your partner and making sure everyone feels comfortable.

And then matching responses that indicate consent or limits: "Keep going" "that feels so good" "I'm comfortable with this but not that"

She also gives examples of manipulative ways to coerce consent out of a partner, in contrast.

She directly addresses the situation of where a partner may not feel comfortable withdrawing consent and gives a few different ways to address that or ask that.

You're not always literally sitting down across from each other and asking if they would like to have or continue having intercourse. "Consent is sexy" isn't just a positive play on a phrase. A partner telling you, enthusiastically, that you want to fuck, that you like what they're doing, that you want to do more, etc.

I've never had a partner say "you're talking to me too much, I am no longer in the mood to fuck".

If in doubt, ask. It's not difficult.

Because they didn't watch the video that was linked, they just assumed she said or implied something that wasn't there.

There is zero way you can take it that way if you watched the video. If you did, and that was your take away...maybe we should talk.

More concise version of what I was trying to say.

I didn't but there are multiple people in this thread making the argument that you need to "maintain consent" I almost responded to one a few pages back but left it alone until I saw another person make the same argument.

Maintaining consent, to me, just means pay attention to your partner and how comfortable they seem with what is happening or what's about to happen. Sex can escalate in any number of ways (I mean, in terms of what you and your partner want to do with/to each other), so it's always good to ask or check in. Of course, if your partner looks *visibly* upset or uncomfortable, you should check in.

This isn't 100% relevant to the OT, but one of the first times my partner and I hooked up, I wanted to go down on her. So, mid-hookup, I asked her if I could go down on her. She shook her head no--so I didn't and we just continued what we were doing before. As we got closer to each other, I asked her about it, we talked through why she didn't want me to, and we eventually worked through it. It didn't affect our desire for each other at all.
 

superbeau

Neo Member
Um, you should maintain consent.

You guys, this shit isn't that difficult. No one is saying, okay it has been three thrusts, I need to verbally ask "Do you consent".

Yeah, its very easy to tell when your partner is engaged during sex. Sex is pretty fun and feels quite nice. You're going to notice if they change their mind.
 
Um, you should maintain consent.

You guys, this shit isn't that difficult. No one is saying, okay it has been three thrusts, I need to verbally ask "Do you consent".

That's what "maintaining consent" means. If you aren't doing anything different it's safe to assume consent has been "maintained" unless otherwise told. Wanna switch to butt stuff you're gonna have to feel it out and get consent. No one is a fucking mind reader and if you aren't getting cues be they verbal or body cues that consent is being revoked you shouldn't need to affirm that things are still good fuck. You are taking agency away from anyone have sex by saying they don't know what they are doing by constantly second guessing the decisions they are making.
 
How do you know though?

Without a video taken by chance this one would have never been filed as a false claim (malicious or not).

Just as it's very difficult to the determine the number of unreported rapes, I think it's just as hard to determine how many are false claims.

It wasn't filed as a false claim. Just one with not enough evidence to prosecute
 
I didn't but there are multiple people in this thread making the argument that you need to "maintain consent" I almost responded to one a few pages back but left it alone until I saw another person make the same argument.

That mostly means if she says stop you bloody fucking stop.
 
Yea thats a really shitty way to say it. And outrage culture strikes again, not a single one of my posts advocates rape or in any way says consent isn't necessary but keep on keeping on guy.

The problem is you seemingly think that the only way to maintain consent is to continually, verbally ask, do you consent or do you wanna keep fucking.
 
Yea thats a really shitty way to say it. And outrage culture strikes again, not a single one of my posts advocates rape or in any way says consent isn't necessary but keep on keeping on guy.

What?

Where did I accuse you of any of that?

Outrage culture?

The you was a proverbial you

Maintaining consent means among other things literally stopping if she says stop. As well as maintaining awareness so that you can pick up on signs that maybe she's not into it anymore
 
Really don't want to go dig up statistics on rapists in prison right now, but of those there, what would you wager are there due to a drunk sex at a bar? I'm thinking the overwhelming majority, probably north of 90% weren't some random drunk hook up that turned into rape.

Do prisoners care? I don't know how they get their info but something tells me they don't go out of their way to get all of their facts straight. But hey, maybe they do. I really don't know, but what I do know is that it doesn't seem worth the risk either way.

Do you know how hard it is to be convicted for rape if you did do it? False accusations are so rare and never go anywhere it's not worth worrying about.

You're not wrong, but I still completely understand why someone wouldn't want to take the risk and be paranoid about it. It's literally life ruining even if it isn't common.
 
Maintaining consent means among other things literally stopping if she says stop. As well as maintaining awareness so that you can pick up on signs that maybe she's not into it anymore

Ding ding!

Let's remember the whole reason this 'maintaining consent' thing came up was because a certain someone said that a certain youtuber said you have to literally ask do you consent ever few thrusts. It was BS then, it is BS now...no one is asking you to do that and if you have ever had sex you would know that. Unless you are just a shit bag that thrusts away without any regard to the enjoyment of your partner.
 
The problem is you seemingly think that the only way to maintain consent is to continually, verbally ask, do you consent or do you wanna keep fucking.

Yea I'm arguing against the term maintaining because that's literally what it means, to continually get in this case consent. Consent is a very easy concept that people are making more difficult than it is.
 

Fuchsdh

Member
So is the next step the suing of this girl for the falsification of rape?

Not having evidence to prosecute someone for rape does not mean you have enough evidence to prosecute someone for falsely accusing someone of rape.

But really, seems like videotaping all your sexual encounters is the only way to avoid he/she said situations.
 
What?

Where did I accuse you of any of that?

Outrage culture?

The you was a proverbial you

Maintaining consent means among other things literally stopping if she says stop. As well as maintaining awareness so that you can pick up on signs that maybe she's not into it anymore

I've said every one of those things you said in your last paragraph in this thread. So I don't see your problem here
 

shandy706

Member
But really, seems like videotaping all your sexual encounters is the only way to avoid he/she said situations.

...haha, and now you're in a ton of trouble for taping your romp.

Unless you both agreed to it....

....but then one comes back later and says they were too drunk to agree to taping it.

It's like a lose/lose....it's also why I don't do one night stands with random women at clubs/bars.

As for checking on your partner, I ask my GF if she's ok sometimes..but that's because things can get a bit rough. I've honestly never been with someone that backed out either.
 

MogCakes

Member
Not having evidence to prosecute someone for rape does not mean you have enough evidence to prosecute someone for falsely accusing someone of rape.

But really, seems like videotaping all your sexual encounters is the only way to avoid he/she said situations.
For anyone engaging in random hookups, getting it on video is required if anything goes wrong and they're willing to go through the court process. Required if they want hard evidence, at least, and even then only a body cam (body cam when naked? Hm) would be able to, er, explicitly show what is...happening...
 
Then why you getting all weird when folks talk of maintaining consent

Because that phrase takes agency from the person the sex is "happening" to.

And that's the outrage I'm talking about, you haven't read any of my other posts you just assumed I was saying something shitty by reading one post out of context.
 

Nerazar

Member
So GAF apparently is full of people who don't understand how consent works, or rape for that matter. Also of people with an irrational fear and paranoia of hooking up with strangers.

Hmm I should start choosing the threads in OT I enter wisely.

And it is full of people telling users to cut off their penises, telling people straight up that they will murder someone, because they are male, and that we should pretend that crimes (false accusations) do not happen in order to protect rape victims.

Yes, we should all choose our threads more wisely.
 

Ketkat

Member
And it is full of people telling users to cut off their penises, telling people straight up that they will murder someone, because they are male, and that we should pretend that crimes (false accusations) do not happen in order to protect rape victims.

Yes, we should all choose our threads more wisely.

None of those things happened in this thread. People said that murderers are more often male. And that false accusations are so rare that being terrified of going on one night stands is kind of silly. You have to have a seriously warped view of women to think that its common in the slightest for women to want to accuse guys of rape just for fun.
 
Because that phrase takes agency from the person the sex is "happening" to.

And that's the outrage I'm talking about, you haven't read any of my other posts you just assumed I was saying something shitty by reading one post out of context.

But the phrase literally means what I and others were saying

And you need to get off this outrage kick.

I'm not outraged.
 
Send her to jail imo.

Based on what?

This actually isn't proof that she's lying.

It just means there isn't enough evidence to continue with a trial.


And it is full of people telling users to cut off their penises, telling people straight up that they will murder someone, because they are male, and that we should pretend that crimes (false accusations) do not happen in order to protect rape victims.

Yes, we should all choose our threads more wisely.


What are you even talking about?
 
Because that phrase takes agency from the person the sex is "happening" to.

And that's the outrage I'm talking about, you haven't read any of my other posts you just assumed I was saying something shitty by reading one post out of context.
I'm not sure I understand what you are saying. The phrase "maintaining consent" takes agency from the person who sex is happening to? Explain, please.
 

neojubei

Will drop pants for Sony.
Some of the responses on both sides of the issue in this thread are insane. Rape is a serious thing and being falsely accused is just as serious.
 

Morrigan Stark

Arrogant Smirk
Send her to jail imo.
Why? There's no proof that she lied, only that there wasn't enough evidence to prosecute.

If they hooked up, and midway through the sex she felt pain and told him to stop and he continued, that's still rape, but there's just no way to prove it. She'd still be a victim and you'd want to jail her?

Rape is a serious thing and being falsely accused is just as serious.
..........


Speaking of insane posts...
 
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