I am going to guess early to mid-twenties.
Relationship venting thread...help me GAF.
- Thread starter Terra
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I am going to guess early to mid-twenties.
You might have some points there. And if I am being played, I am not going to come crawling back.
The message I got earlier today "You are the only one for me" "If you trust me, you don´t have to worry" "I wish I could somehow make you believe me" and the likes. I will try to rest my head on these messages for now.
Edit: She is 27, I am 31.
lightskintwin
Banned
The majority of mature women who go on vacations paid by a guy typically know what's up. Hence the reason, most women wouldn't if they're not interested in that guy like that, or think they're moving too fast and don't want to be pressured. Sometimes they'll let the guy know from jump that fucking ain't going down, and if he's ok with that, she'll go. (A lot of guys wouldn't let that deter them though)
Now OP's situation is a bit different because they've been friends for 5 years. But like I said, we don't know the history between OP's girlfriend and her rich friend nor the nature of their "friendship".
Oh don't I remember those wonderful, reassuring lies.
OP I could be wrong, but man, this shit sounds shady to me.
GameAddict411
Member
I think the word in "love" is a bit too strong here. You are infatuated with her and it's understandable you are feeling this way. I think it was inappropriate of her to sleep with him in the same bed, but the fact she was honest about it is a good sign. Even though he is more successful than you, it doesn't mean she is more attracted to him than you. Since they knew each other for years now, why would she pick this time to start something with him?
And you didn't clear up her feelings about you and what does she think you guys have together? Does she consider you as her BF, or that you are dating? Because this could make a huge difference on how she acts with other guys. She might be thinking it's more casual than what you perceive. Communication is very important in a relationship and you guys should talk about your current relationship and also state the boundaries to what is considered to be acceptable.
And you didn't clear up her feelings about you and what does she think you guys have together? Does she consider you as her BF, or that you are dating? Because this could make a huge difference on how she acts with other guys. She might be thinking it's more casual than what you perceive. Communication is very important in a relationship and you guys should talk about your current relationship and also state the boundaries to what is considered to be acceptable.
kavanf1
Member
Like I said, observe the behaviour, not just the words on their own.
Also please explain why he's shady, i don't think that is clear.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
I found who this shady guy is, you're in trouble OP
To be honest, if I were in that girl's position, and OP kept being paranoid towards me, I'd probably say the exact same line out of pure frustration.
While not this situation exactly, I have been put in positions where I've had an ex be like "I don't trust you" over and over and it's exasperating.
EDIT: Wait, for some reason I though you quoted "I wish I could somehow make you believe me" instead. Ignore me.
LT Snoshado
Member
This made me laugh so hard.
My first reaction. OP, you've only known this person for a month. To say that she is your girlfriend and you are in a relationship is kinda ridiculous. To be blunt, this is something someone in middle school/junior high would say, not someone in their 30's. You don't even really know this person. I think it's pretty obvious that you are way overinvested (maybe already co-dependent) in this person and she doesn't feel the same way about you.
"Break up" -- I hesitate to use that term due to the fact that again YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN THIS PERSON FOR A MONTH -- and move on.
Mammoth Jones
Member
C'mon son....
You too old to be falling for this silly shit. She's not going there to read books dude.
I was told that same "I don't trust you" line over and over when in fact she was the one who ended up cheating on me. This has nothing to do with what OP is going through, but those quotes just always seem like you're just saying those things to shut the other person up.
I also don't think you have anything to worry about, especially since you've only been together for 1 month. During that "honeymoon phase", feelings for one another are usually so intense that I don't think most people would even consider cheating. Also from her perspective, she has been friends with this guy for 5 years and probably doesn't want to flake over a guy she has known for only a month.
However, if you end up in a long term relationship with her, I would expect her not to continue being very close to this "friend" (unless he is gay). It's seems obvious that he has feelings for her and this vacation plan with a single bed is a very creepy and shady way of trying to initiate something.
However, if you end up in a long term relationship with her, I would expect her not to continue being very close to this "friend" (unless he is gay). It's seems obvious that he has feelings for her and this vacation plan with a single bed is a very creepy and shady way of trying to initiate something.
Well. I am not using any lines at all.
When I am quitting relationships or feeling downplayed, I tell out how I feel, then I shut my mouth, listen to what may come (if anything), walk away and don´t put any energy at all there again. That is just the way I am.
I walked out of that door two days ago and put it all behind me mentally, well, at least keeping it to myself.
And she messaged me today with the above things. And I of course politely answered that we will see each other when she gets home, and take it from there. And then, she was keen on the messaging/skyping thing along the upcoming week.
JensenBeeswax
Member
Downgrade right now!
To friends with benefits.
To friends with benefits.
Slurpy2k20
Member
Sorry, but this is fucking hilarious.
- She's not going on a weekend trip, or a 5 day trip, but a fucking 2 WEEK all expenses paid "vacation" with this guy
- This guy is going to spend a fuckload of money and 2 weeks of his life taking a vacation with, out of all people, a girl that he can't even bang? Why would he do this?
- They're sharing the same bed.
Sorry, but this is absurd. I'm not one to believe that girls and guys can't be friends and nothing else, but this is ludicrous. Stop being naive.
- She's not going on a weekend trip, or a 5 day trip, but a fucking 2 WEEK all expenses paid "vacation" with this guy
- This guy is going to spend a fuckload of money and 2 weeks of his life taking a vacation with, out of all people, a girl that he can't even bang? Why would he do this?
- They're sharing the same bed.
Sorry, but this is absurd. I'm not one to believe that girls and guys can't be friends and nothing else, but this is ludicrous. Stop being naive.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
When the op said she messaged him "she didn't like being away from him" I knew that was a line, it's one I use and still use when I want to go out with my male friends and I don't want to take her along. "Hey away, I wish you could come too, I don't like leaving you at home but it's a man thing you know. They are not taking thier girls. I'll be thinking about coming home to see you all night" It's bullshit just to keep her happy while I go out relax and have a good time.
I know...I have been single for some years now, after a 3 year long relationship.
And have actually enjoyed it to the fullest =).
Thanks for reassuring me and I feel your support.
Yeah OP, I feel for you man. But like most of the people in this thread I also have to say some shits gonna go down. Unless shes loyal to you, she already knew what she signed up for when she agreed to a FREE 2 week vacation with a guy, sharing the same bed. And if she is loyal and doesn't screw the dude, all the power to you. GL man.
eot
Banned
Rich guy is going on vacation.
Asks long time friend if she wants to come along.
Pays because the money is insignificant to him.
??
I'm not saying I wouldn't be suspicious in OP's situation, but I don't think it's a super strange thing if they're very close friends. I pay for stuff for my friends when they need the money, and if I were rich I'd probably offer to pay for a trip too.
You should have met the dude.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
You know, in your mind you think this is you taking no shit and being independent, but what a lot of people will see is a spineless non confrontational guy slinking off rather than deal with the relationship issues.
I've read enough of your posts now and I'm going to call it. Your girlfriend surrounds herself with simps who spoil her. This guy she's on vacation with does not have the balls to ask her for a date so he's attempting to bribe her. You don't want to confront the issue with her so you let her go and talk to GAF about it instead of having a real confrontational discussion with her.
I know this becuse in the past I have been both you and that guy. Then I matured and worked things out as an adult and not surprisingly the drama in my relationships stopped.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Is this guy better looking than you?
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Does not matter if he's rich like the OP assumes, and women are not as attracted to looks compared to men as they are power and success.
I am not the guy who goes about looks.
But no, he is not better looking than me.
lightskintwin
Banned
The only way it would've made you feel better is if after meeting dude you felt you were easily the better option for her.
Ethical Hedonism
Banned
The lack of maturity in some responses here baffles me.
OP, it's all about good, straight and clear communication.
OP, it's all about good, straight and clear communication.
FaintDeftone
Junior Member
This would pretty much be grounds for a break up with me personally, but good luck to you bud. I hope it works out.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
That's true. Hard to know where this girl stands on what kind of guy she's looking for in the long term since Terra has only known her for only a month.
Bam Chowder
Member
Hmm..you probably should have met the dude when you had the chance OP, but nothing that can be done about it now.
I would hope for the best, prepare for the worst at this point - no use in ruminating about it now that she is going. Use the two weeks to do fun stuff you maybe wouldn't have a chance to do - smoke some pot, buy a cat, etc. and reevaluate when she gets back.
Sincerely,
Pot-smoking, cat owner
I would hope for the best, prepare for the worst at this point - no use in ruminating about it now that she is going. Use the two weeks to do fun stuff you maybe wouldn't have a chance to do - smoke some pot, buy a cat, etc. and reevaluate when she gets back.
Sincerely,
Pot-smoking, cat owner
lightskintwin
Banned
This is not true. Women are just as attracted to looks as men are.
andythinkpad
Member
I don't know, she already has a friend w/ benefits.
Please, tell us more about these "women" you speak of!
Hahahaha...thanks for the laugh man. =)
Maybe I should go on a total binge
. But then again...maybe no.
I like this girl...so I won´t go doing something that I can´t sleep upon. As I said, we will meet as she gets home, and take it from there. Talk it out and stuff. I will have two weeks to think about it.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
It is true. The older they get the more evident it is.
lightskintwin
Banned
You mean women make different choices for "security", wanting to start a family and have kids, or fear of being "undesirable" at an older age?
Edit: I question how well some of ya'll know women tbh.
FallingEdge
Member
Haven't gone through the previous pages, but has it been confirmed that the roommate and "gf" share the same bed?
cause that is crazy
cause that is crazy
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Is that your opinion or actually a question your asking to gauge the response of the room?
TheSpoiler
Member
She's so sweet for skype calling him tho. Gotta take a break before/after wild vacation sex.
lightskintwin
Banned
It was my opinion phrased in the form of a rhetorical question to your post.
EstoyBlackWaldo
Member
This thread still going on? OP if you really still concerned has it been brought up to buy yourself a ticket and go visit? Go have some fun in Hawaii bruh.
I was concerned, but I am getting more and more relaxed about it all.
I see people are pretty divisive about the whole thing in this thread. It was apparently discussion-worthy after all.
But as I said. I am pretty relaxed right now. A couple of beers and activities booked for the weekend. It will do.
And as I said, when she gets home I guess we will have a talk about everything, about if we will go on dating and stuff.
Nathan_Drake
Member
Haaa yep. My girlfriend constantly texts me I am hot, sexy, or she likes my abs. She has never been I love your Business Casual dress when you work 8-4 in the Program Manager job. She could care less that I run a large swath of government contracts. She cares that I treat her like the only woman alive and I am still infatuated with her. She constantly claims she will steal my blue eyes and says they are too much for her.
We are all animals looking for the best physical traits. Don't let this PC world lie to you. You just try to get a good person with them.
Maybe I am a shallow asshole but a happy one at least.
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