Yeah, Dolph's offense is weak as shit and has always been that way. Mr. Perfect had the same problem, but he was physically more intimidating and would at least punch/chop/dropkick the fuck out of someone. Almost everything Dolph does offensively looks like it hurts him more than his opponent because he's always spazzing out in the air to look impressive. R-Truth always had that problem to me, too. That stupid spinning he does after the forearm/leg lariat looks like it is way harder on him than the actual move he just pulled off.
EDIT: NEW PAGE
WCW Thunder 8/13/98
Lol, this is from the FARGO DOME. What are the odds? Bret will get his rematch against Lex tonight. This is the first time they've announced a match for Thunder ahead of time in months. For the first 2 months or so, they set up main events a week in advance and would set something up on Nitro. They just kind of gave up completely and decided they'd just throw Glacier out there a lot. PE vs Dancing Fools. AGAIN. Jericho defends his new title against Chavo. Eddie vs Stevie Ray. Nash vs Hennig. I'm going to speed through this to get to WARRIOR's debut on Nitro. Pretty excited for that mess.
Scott Hall comes to the ring. Hall has upgraded from Medium Sexy to Super Sexy. He has to break down the survey to make it clear WHICH nWo the crowds came to see. That's it. He just came out to do the survey? Oh, Konnan will join us when we come back from break.
Scott Hall vs Konnan
Fuck, nWo guys need their own music. 15 guys share the same 2 themes and I never want to hear either of them again. It was probably worse before the Wolfpac got their own music, so it was the nWo theme over and over and over all night. Hall headbutted the camera while clotheslining Konnan in the corner. Looked like it hurt. He wins completely clean with the Outsider's Edge. What a jobber.
Raven vs Whoreass
Raven gets drilled with a drink on the way to the ring. I don't really think fans should be throwing things at wrestlers, but I do wish it would happen once in a while on Raw. Can you imagine someone throwing an egg or full beer at Cena? I'm really impressed by how none of these guys really even react. Bret got hit with an egg and didn't even stop his sentence. Lodi stops Raven from using the stop sign. Horace then boots it into Raven's face. Superfly splash. I'd like to see other males in the Hogan family. Do they all look like Droopy? Another splash. Raven moves out of the way and Whoreass goes right into the sign in teh corner. Lodi is cheering for both guys, after interfering on Horace's behalf just a few minutes ago. Raven demands Lodi get involved and slaps him when he has to think about it. The rest of the Flock is called in and told to attack. The ref calls a DQ in this no DQ match. Saturn comes out and tells them to back off. And they listen. Horace then attacks Saturn. What the fuck. Nothing with The Flock makes sense anymore. Kanyon also comes out to beat up Flock members. Saturn then attacks Kanyon. The fuck is going on?
TO THE SCHIAVONE. He brings Stevie Ray out. He challenges Giant for next week. "You big, over grown piece of ALPUNK." I don't know what alpunk is.
Chris Jericho vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. WCW TV Championship
Long, but uneventful match. Jericho killed Pepe. Chavo had a second Pepe hidden under the ring and hits Jericho with it. What? He keeps a spare hobby horse under the ring?
Bret Hart comes to the ring. He says he has to fight every person in the building every time he wrestles and he's going to win his title back.
Dancing Fools vs Public Enemy
Wait, Magnum was supposed to be kicked out of the group for losing on Nitro. Why is he still out there? Why is this match happening again? I think the last match was pretty definitive. Magnum took the bullet of a table bump in the corner and Alex Wright pinned Grunge with a neckbreaker. MENG shows up out of nowhere and beats up everyone. Out of nowhere, completely unprovoked. Barbarian comes out to fight and gets put in the death grip. Fucking again. Christ. Both PE get put in it. Then a security guy. I feel like this Barb/Meng show down has happened at least 4 times in the last month, plus at the beginning of the year, and everyone of them is exactly the same.
Kevin Nash comes to the ring. He's got some words for Goldberg. He says he was just trying to do the right thing. And then offers Goldberg a spot in the Wolfpac.
Kevin Nash vs Curt Hennig
Perfect takes a ridiculous bump out of the corner. He decided he was going to sell as if here had been swept up in a tornado. Nash got his leg caught on the ropes going for a big boot, and Hennig goes right after the injury. Nash gets up and still hits his moves despite limping around. Even a big boot. Rick Rude drills the ref. What a surprise. Rude squares off with Nash, which allows Hall to attack from behind. Fans chant for Goldberg. Instead, they got Lex Luger.
Stevie Ray vs Eddie Guerrero
But I thought they established there was no issue between these guys. Hall and Giant come out to watch while drinking from red Silo cups. We all know what that means. In fact, most of the match is actually just shots of them tasking sips and laughing while apparently a god damn match is going on somewhere. Literally 70% of this match is watching Hall and Giant. Stevie wins with the Slapjack. I guess you could kind of see the match on the screen behind Hall and Giant. If you looked at an angle and had a flashlight.
Bret Hart vs Lex Luger WCW US Championship
Guess what? This was terrible and Bret did indeed win his title right back. So what was the point of these two trading the belt back and forth?
This is all bullshit and I had to get through it to get to WARRIOR's debut on the next show.
EDIT: NEW PAGE
WCW Thunder 8/13/98
Lol, this is from the FARGO DOME. What are the odds? Bret will get his rematch against Lex tonight. This is the first time they've announced a match for Thunder ahead of time in months. For the first 2 months or so, they set up main events a week in advance and would set something up on Nitro. They just kind of gave up completely and decided they'd just throw Glacier out there a lot. PE vs Dancing Fools. AGAIN. Jericho defends his new title against Chavo. Eddie vs Stevie Ray. Nash vs Hennig. I'm going to speed through this to get to WARRIOR's debut on Nitro. Pretty excited for that mess.
Scott Hall comes to the ring. Hall has upgraded from Medium Sexy to Super Sexy. He has to break down the survey to make it clear WHICH nWo the crowds came to see. That's it. He just came out to do the survey? Oh, Konnan will join us when we come back from break.
Scott Hall vs Konnan
Fuck, nWo guys need their own music. 15 guys share the same 2 themes and I never want to hear either of them again. It was probably worse before the Wolfpac got their own music, so it was the nWo theme over and over and over all night. Hall headbutted the camera while clotheslining Konnan in the corner. Looked like it hurt. He wins completely clean with the Outsider's Edge. What a jobber.
Raven vs Whoreass
Raven gets drilled with a drink on the way to the ring. I don't really think fans should be throwing things at wrestlers, but I do wish it would happen once in a while on Raw. Can you imagine someone throwing an egg or full beer at Cena? I'm really impressed by how none of these guys really even react. Bret got hit with an egg and didn't even stop his sentence. Lodi stops Raven from using the stop sign. Horace then boots it into Raven's face. Superfly splash. I'd like to see other males in the Hogan family. Do they all look like Droopy? Another splash. Raven moves out of the way and Whoreass goes right into the sign in teh corner. Lodi is cheering for both guys, after interfering on Horace's behalf just a few minutes ago. Raven demands Lodi get involved and slaps him when he has to think about it. The rest of the Flock is called in and told to attack. The ref calls a DQ in this no DQ match. Saturn comes out and tells them to back off. And they listen. Horace then attacks Saturn. What the fuck. Nothing with The Flock makes sense anymore. Kanyon also comes out to beat up Flock members. Saturn then attacks Kanyon. The fuck is going on?
TO THE SCHIAVONE. He brings Stevie Ray out. He challenges Giant for next week. "You big, over grown piece of ALPUNK." I don't know what alpunk is.
Chris Jericho vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. WCW TV Championship
Long, but uneventful match. Jericho killed Pepe. Chavo had a second Pepe hidden under the ring and hits Jericho with it. What? He keeps a spare hobby horse under the ring?
Bret Hart comes to the ring. He says he has to fight every person in the building every time he wrestles and he's going to win his title back.
Dancing Fools vs Public Enemy
Wait, Magnum was supposed to be kicked out of the group for losing on Nitro. Why is he still out there? Why is this match happening again? I think the last match was pretty definitive. Magnum took the bullet of a table bump in the corner and Alex Wright pinned Grunge with a neckbreaker. MENG shows up out of nowhere and beats up everyone. Out of nowhere, completely unprovoked. Barbarian comes out to fight and gets put in the death grip. Fucking again. Christ. Both PE get put in it. Then a security guy. I feel like this Barb/Meng show down has happened at least 4 times in the last month, plus at the beginning of the year, and everyone of them is exactly the same.
Kevin Nash comes to the ring. He's got some words for Goldberg. He says he was just trying to do the right thing. And then offers Goldberg a spot in the Wolfpac.
Kevin Nash vs Curt Hennig
Perfect takes a ridiculous bump out of the corner. He decided he was going to sell as if here had been swept up in a tornado. Nash got his leg caught on the ropes going for a big boot, and Hennig goes right after the injury. Nash gets up and still hits his moves despite limping around. Even a big boot. Rick Rude drills the ref. What a surprise. Rude squares off with Nash, which allows Hall to attack from behind. Fans chant for Goldberg. Instead, they got Lex Luger.
Stevie Ray vs Eddie Guerrero
But I thought they established there was no issue between these guys. Hall and Giant come out to watch while drinking from red Silo cups. We all know what that means. In fact, most of the match is actually just shots of them tasking sips and laughing while apparently a god damn match is going on somewhere. Literally 70% of this match is watching Hall and Giant. Stevie wins with the Slapjack. I guess you could kind of see the match on the screen behind Hall and Giant. If you looked at an angle and had a flashlight.
Bret Hart vs Lex Luger WCW US Championship
Guess what? This was terrible and Bret did indeed win his title right back. So what was the point of these two trading the belt back and forth?
This is all bullshit and I had to get through it to get to WARRIOR's debut on the next show.