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Share your drunk experiences.

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psycho_snake

I went to WAGs boutique and all I got was a sniff
I was inspired to make this thread because of something that happened a few days ago band also because Im sure some of you guys must have some hilarious stories like radioheads :D

Ok, The other day it was my friends Bday party. I dont drink that much, ususally just on special occasions or at really big parties and because this was a special occasion, I got pretty hammered. it was a good party, but nothing too exiting happened. After the party had finished I walked home with three other people and on the way there my friend Jack said "hey guys, how funny would it be if I took a dump on that car". I took it as a joke, no one would be crazy enough to do that right, well I was wrong, my other friend called Alan said he would do it and walked over, jumped on the car, took off his trousers and actually crapped all over the window, then he got off and rubbed his shit all over the car. While we were drunk that was funny, but thinking back to it now it sounds fucking disgusting. Ive seen pretty crazy stuff happen, but nothing like that before. Its not really surprising he did it though, he does all sorts of stuff, he once cummed into someones hat and then that person put it on.
 
Nothing big, really. First time I ever went out bar-hopping with some people (a little over a year ago), I had about 20 or so drinks, and at the last bar we were playing drunken pool, and supposedly I started randomly joining in on other people's games. We left fairly quickly. We then walked down to the lake at 2:30am or so, and, having to piss really bad, I just whipped it out and started pissing into the water in front of everybody (including a couple girls). At that point one of the guys walked me to my dorm. It was a fun night.
 
Its not really surprising he did it though, he does all sorts of stuff, he once cummed into someones hat and then that person put it on.
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You need new friends. Unless you eagerly put on the hat, of course.
 
demon said:
Nothing big, really. First time I ever went out bar-hopping with some people (a little over a year ago), I had about 20 or so drinks, and at the last bar we were playing drunken pool, and supposedly I started randomly joining in on other people's games. We left fairly quickly. We then walked down to the lake at 2:30am or so, and, having to piss really bad, I just whipped it out and started pissing into the water in front of everybody (including a couple girls). At that point one of the guys walked me to my dorm. It was a fun night.
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:lol nice one! That must have been really embarrassing, but I guess when you're drunk you dont really care what you do and dont care who see's you doing it:P

You need new friends. Unless you eagerly put on the hat, of course.
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It wasnt me who put on the hat, I wasnt even there but I heard about it from him. He seems really proud of himself when he does stuff like that. I dont see him too often for my own safety!
 
Turning 16 in October :D.

Ive mentioned that i dont drink too much, only on big oocaision. Trust me, if you think my drinking is bad you should meet the rest of my year. Some of them get pissed everyday of the week end and some even get drunk during schoolnights.
 
Last night was my first night back to college, I was on an empty stomach and started taking shots in a friend's room as soon as I was done unpacking. I got obliterated and ended up passing out next to the toilet bowl because I was there the rest of the night puking. It's 5:00 pm now and I still haven't recovered.
 
http://www.angrygodofjebus.com/main.html

most of my best experiences the last year and a half or so.



but last sunday, me and 2 friends i work with had a staff meeting at 6....so we decided to down two cases of beer before hand. since we were so smashed, we wrote down the funny quotes so we wouldn't forget them. we were playing warioware.

this is what happens:

brandon1.jpg


brandon2.jpg
 
Too many to list. Heres one off the top of my head:

- a few years ago, after splitting a 24, and leaving a party, a buddy and I decided for some reason that the back seat of the car was no place to sit. So, we managed to convince our (dumbass) sober friend to let us ride of the roof of the car. So here we are, laying belly down, each with our outside hand holding onto the open window frames, and our other hands holding onto eachother so we didnt fly of. So we're whipping down the highway at 110kph, and all of a sudden my friend is like "oh shit dude, were getting pulled over!". Me, drunk and moronic, just laughed and said "yeah right!". Sure enough, the driver slows down, and pulls over, and hear comes the cop. He yells "WHAT. THE. FUCK. Are you two doing! Get off the fucking roof!". My friend peels off. But I, feeling I can outsmart the law, dont flinch at all, thinking the cop will mistake me for a ski rack. Surprisingly, I was unsuccessful :lol . He grabs me, pulls me off. I figure were all fucked at this point. Open liquor, reckless driving etc. So, me, Mr. Asshole, try to make it seem as if our friend, the driver, had locked the doors, thereby forcing us to ride on the roof. The cop stared me down upon hearing this, saw right through my bullshit, then busted a gut laughing. Called me a retard, gave my friend a warning, and let us go. Good times.
 
Solo said:
sober friend to let us ride of the roof of the car. So here we are, laying belly down, each with our outside hand holding onto the open window frames, and our other hands holding onto eachother so we didnt fly of. So we're whipping down the highway at 110kph, and all of a sudden my friend is like "oh shit dude, were getting pulled over!".
Click to expand...
*cough* bullshit *cough*
 
Went bar hopping in Osaka, got really drunk, me and a friend went to a sex parlor. Got a great blowjob. It was $80 though and I don't remember much except that it was really good.
 
I've never been drunk, but a coworker of mine bought a big burrito wrapped in foil once while drunk, and ate it without taking the foil off. She puked a short time later and all the foil was in it.
 
Synth_floyd said:
Went bar hopping in Osaka, got really drunk, me and a friend went to a sex parlor. Got a great blowjob. It was $80 though and I don't remember much except that it was really good.
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That's scary man. Imagine if you walked into a tattoo parlor instead of a sex parlor.
 
I quit drinking and these are the reasons:

1. In high school, I threw up and crapped at the same time.

2. A month ago, I crapped all over myself when I was sleeping. I didn't even know until I woke up. I even got crap on my floor.
 
Synth_floyd said:
Went bar hopping in Osaka, got really drunk, me and a friend went to a sex parlor. Got a great blowjob. It was $80 though and I don't remember much except that it was really good.
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by any chance, did you friend 'discover' $80 in his pocket the next day?
 
Solo said:
Too many to list. Heres one off the top of my head:

- a few years ago, after splitting a 24, and leaving a party, a buddy and I decided for some reason that the back seat of the car was no place to sit. So, we managed to convince our (dumbass) sober friend to let us ride of the roof of the car. So here we are, laying belly down, each with our outside hand holding onto the open window frames, and our other hands holding onto eachother so we didnt fly of. So we're whipping down the highway at 110kph, and all of a sudden my friend is like "oh shit dude, were getting pulled over!". Me, drunk and moronic, just laughed and said "yeah right!". Sure enough, the driver slows down, and pulls over, and hear comes the cop. He yells "WHAT. THE. FUCK. Are you two doing! Get off the fucking roof!". My friend peels off. But I, feeling I can outsmart the law, dont flinch at all, thinking the cop will mistake me for a ski rack. Surprisingly, I was unsuccessful :lol . He grabs me, pulls me off. I figure were all fucked at this point. Open liquor, reckless driving etc. So, me, Mr. Asshole, try to make it seem as if our friend, the driver, had locked the doors, thereby forcing us to ride on the roof. The cop stared me down upon hearing this, saw right through my bullshit, then busted a gut laughing. Called me a retard, gave my friend a warning, and let us go. Good times.
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110 KPH?!

Are you fucking insane!? HOLY SHIT!
 
I've never been drunk, but last Memorial Day my friend had too much and we had to bring him to the emergency room.

So uh, yeah.
 
One of my buddies went to a small, secluded college called Sewanee. He always invited us public school boys up for their party weekend. We could act as drunk and boorish as we wanted since we were leaving on Sunday and didn't know any of the people there.

Well one night after enjoying the various parties at the frat houses and we pass one of those smashed up DUI cars with a sign that says "don't drink and drive or this will happen to you." One of my buddies, completely silently, gets up on the car and takes a shit on the hood (what do you know, another shitting on teh car story) while we laugh hysterically. He wipes his ass with his undershirt and we mosey on to the football stadium, where he leaves his shit stained shirt at the 50 yard line. On the way back to the dorm just after dawn, we saw the groundskeeper (there was a game that day) mowing the field and he stopped, picked up a corner of the shirt, and shook his head. :lol

My buddy said that the shit stayed on the DUI car until Monday afternoon and everybody on campus was talking about it.
 
One time I got drunk and convinced some kid in the bar restroom to give me a blowjob. He kept mumbling something about being like Kirby....
 
Solo said:
He grabs me, pulls me off. I figure were all fucked at this point. Open liquor, reckless driving etc. So, me, Mr. Asshole, try to make it seem as if our friend, the driver, had locked the doors, thereby forcing us to ride on the roof. The cop stared me down upon hearing this, saw right through my bullshit, then busted a gut laughing. Called me a retard, gave my friend a warning, and let us go.
Click to expand...

A cop laughing off a DUI/speeding/roof riding/open liquor x3. Keep drinking I'm sure you'll come up with a better fake story.
 
A few but nothing outrageous or fake. I'll just post them one at a time.

It was summer of 2002 and I was going into my senior year. A lot of my friends were a year older so they were getting ready to go to either college or the military. The guy who hosted this party bragged that he spent $500 on alcohol for the weekend. It was going to be a hell of a time. Indeed it was. Myself, I had a bottle Ocean Spray Grapefruit juice, a glass, and a bottle of Vodka and went at it. It was crazy. Girls were flashing, making out with each other, stripping, it was crazy. These were even the most conservative girls. I guess the attitude there made them do it. I was still green to the drinking game so I didn't last long. I ran outside in time to throw up and throw up I did.

For the next half hour, I spent puking up my day's work. Then comes my friend and a few other guys. My friend actually shit his pants. Shit was running down his leg. I was laughing my ass off as he was saying, "Fuck you!" to anyone who laughed. He was too drunk to stand so he laid on the grass while they hosed him off and told him to roll this way or that way.

I felt better so what did I do? Drink! Had a glass of my juice/Vodka mix which was probably about three shots and drank it maybe in 5-10 seconds at the most. Once again, I ran out and sure enough my friend shit his pants again. He had to borrow the host's swim trunks and he shit on them. I said, "Holy shit <kid>, did you shit your pants again?" They laughed and I laughed so hard that I fell on the ground and passed out in my own piss and vomit. Yep, I passed out outside.

Woke up at 10:30 in the morning (I had a watch on) and it was raining down hard. My clothes were soaked with water so all the puke and piss got washed away. As I was walking, I fell down and passed out again. This time it was 2 pm and it was hot outside. My face, arms, and legs were sunburned (not too badly) and was able to fix myself a sandwich. I couldn't eat too fast or else I'd throw up. Turns out I had to work at 4:30 pm. I drove home as fast as I could to get ready to go to work (it was a 45 minute drive to my house and a 20 minute drive to work).

I wandered in the house, barely being able to talk. I told my parents that I only got 2 hours of sleep because the place was so loud but we all knew it was because I was hung over. I was almost thinking about going back out there that night but the unbearable hangover made me think otherwise. I slept about 14 hours that night and took a 2 hour nap the next day to fully recover.
 
Solo said:
cough*nope*cough

Ive done this multiple times. Once with a drunk driver. You could say I have little respect for life.
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I hope one day you friend hits the breaks and you fly into a concrete wall face first. So the last thing you would see is your ass because it will come threw the back of you head. You fuck face.
 
Lol, thanks for the kind words. By the way, I havent done this in some 2+ years, and yes, Im 100% aware how fucking stupid it is. Guess I was in my "Im 19 and invincible" phase.
 
i was 17 at the time, and at work. they had some chili cookoff, and they also had beer and hard liquor. seriously, this was a major computer corporation too. so i downed a cup of beer and a wine cooler, and being intolerant to alcohol, i ended up going home sick and to a clinic later. didn't realize tha tthe pain i felt was actually just me being drunk/having an asian instahangover!
 
acidviper said:
A cop laughing off a DUI/speeding/roof riding/open liquor x3. Keep drinking I'm sure you'll come up with a better fake story.
Click to expand...

Funny, I dont remember say the driver was drunk. And 110 isnt speeding, cunt cheese. The limit was 120. Nice extrapolation though, Einstein.
 
Solo said:
cough*nope*cough

Ive done this multiple times. Once with a drunk driver. You could say I have little respect for life.
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someone from my highschool died a few years after we graduated pulling the same stunt. the only difference is that the driver was going less than 20, my friend lost grip at a sudden stop and slammed his head into the concrete.

enjoy.
 
AssMan said:
I quit drinking and these are the reasons:

1. In high school, I threw up and crapped at the same time.

2. A month ago, I crapped all over myself when I was sleeping. I didn't even know until I woke up. I even got crap on my floor.
Click to expand...
I see why they call you AssMan

but here's my story.....

Just the other night some female friends of mine picked me up to goto the club, once we got to SF we picked up one of her friends that I've never met. We get to the club & it turns out to be 18+ which sucks cause I feel like a dirty old man even look at some of these girls even though I'm only 25. So I spent most of my time in the back smoking area with my drinks, as that was how I felt is was best to spend my time w/o feeling uncomfortable. We leave the club and I'm sitting in the back of the car with a bottle of courvosier and the girl I just met earlier. Needless to say we were getting hammered in the back seat. Out of nowhere this black Van sideswipes us and we had to pull over. The two girls in the front get out of the car to handle legal matters, and thats when the new girl decides to pounce on me.

to make a long story short,

once we ended up getting back to the apartment of the 2 female friends, we all kept drinking. I hooked up with the new girl in the back room while trying to avoid the distraction of the bedroom door opening and closing repeatedly. When finished I left the room, but not even 20 minutes later I ended up in bed with the other two female friends whos apartment it was. I was shocked cause I was completely oblivious that they were into me like that and I'm also not sure if it would've happened if we weren't all so drunk. But if I wasn't so drunk one of those two roomates wouldn't have gotten the action that she did. She kinda snaked her way into the act taking advantage of the moment.

I had 1 on 1 and a 2 on 1 in the same night! The 2 girls are having a BBQ right now and all 3 girls are gonna be there, can I get the 2 that I want at once? Or do I settle for just 1 at a time. I know I sound like a ho, but its not every day something like that happens, especially when you know you can re-create it again and again and again.
 
Oh, and Ive got the old standard too:

- Due to impaired vision, what I perceived as an open doorway was actually my friend's screen door. I went right through the sucker. Said friends parents werent too pleased upon returning from vacation.
 
I have a friend who has a pool house and an outdoor bathroom, but inbetween them is a pool. Some guy got so drunk over there, that he was walking to the bathroom from the pool house and almost tripped and fell in the pool. He saved himself from falling in, but just before walking in the bathroom he looked back @ us who were laughing at him, thats right when he went to walk through the doorway of the bathroom, but instead ran face first into the door jam. Thats when we really started crackin up till we realized that he broke his nose and was bleeding all over himself and the walkway.
 
BlackNMild2k1 said:
I see why they call you AssMan

but here's my story.....

Just the other night some female friends of mine picked me up to goto the club, once we got to SF we picked up one of her friends that I've never met. We get to the club & it turns out to be 18+ which sucks cause I feel like a dirty old man even look at some of these girls even though I'm only 25. So I spent most of my time in the back smoking area with my drinks, as that was how I felt is was best to spend my time w/o feeling uncomfortable. We leave the club and I'm sitting in the back of the car with a bottle of courvosier and the girl I just met earlier. Needless to say we were getting hammered in the back seat. Out of nowhere this black Van sideswipes us and we had to pull over. The two girls in the front get out of the car to handle legal matters, and thats when the new girl decides to pounce on me.

to make a long story short,

once we ended up getting back to the apartment of the 2 female friends, we all kept drinking. I hooked up with the new girl in the back room while trying to avoid the distraction of the bedroom door opening and closing repeatedly. When finished I left the room, but not even 20 minutes later I ended up in bed with the other two female friends whos apartment it was. I was shocked cause I was completely oblivious that they were into me like that and I'm also not sure if it would've happened if we weren't all so drunk. But if I wasn't so drunk one of those two roomates wouldn't have gotten the action that she did. She kinda snaked her way into the act taking advantage of the moment.

I had 1 on 1 and a 2 on 1 in the same night! The 2 girls are having a BBQ right now and all 3 girls are gonna be there, can I get the 2 that I want at once? Or do I settle for just 1 at a time. I know I sound like a ho, but its not every day something like that happens, especially when you know you can re-create it again and again and again.
Click to expand...

Lucky dog, you should send that to Penthouse Forums. Teh junior am man whore.
 
acidviper said:
Lucky dog, you should send that to Penthouse Forums. Teh junior am man whore.
Click to expand...
Do they pay to publish stories or should I just feel privileged to see it printed? I do feel pretty lucky, but this isn't the first time something similar to this has happened ;)

and I have plenty of drunk stories

I got this friend, I've never seen someone handle liquor like this guy (thats not exactly a good thing), he would polish off a 1/5 of Jose Quervo to the neck with no chaser, and do it in less than 10 swigs(i get goose bumps just from thinking about it) and hold it all down and keep drinking. But anyway.... one day were were drinking while playing NFL2k1 on the DC and he had a flushed look on his face, I didn't hink anything of cause it was kinda hot and I'm sure I kinda looked the same way from the heat. He was the self-proclaimed best NFL-2ker and I was up on him by a touchdown, he was mad and refused to take a game break for anything. Thats when *this part is kinda disgusting* he burps and starts to gurgle, I ask him if hes all right, and he replies with a nod while he has his mouth and eyes scrunched shut, but then continues to play as if it was all good. All of a sudden you hear a gurgle noise in his throat as he looks straight up at the ceiling (everyone is watching him), He then started to spew a puke fountain straight up in the air and right back all over his face and chest.

well regardless of all that he still whooped me in that game by atleast 3 touchdowns when it was all said and done. So I guess that makes him a winner and a loser.....
 
I'm not sure if this is the worst but it did make me question my sexuality the following morning.

New Years Eve, 1993. Around noon my friends and I started to drink, getting ready for a house party we were going to later that night. My best friend Packy and I bought ourselves a 5th of gin each along with a bottle of Jack Daniels that we shared. Everyone else was drinking beer. Don't ask me why we decided on the gin/whiskey combination 'cause I'm not sure myself but that's what we got. I drank that gin awfully fucking fast and started mixing in the Jack along with some beers. Needless to say I was pretty snokered by the time we left to go to the party.

When we got there, I still knew what I was doing and was able to hold some sort of coversation with everyone but that doesn't mean I was very coherant. We watched The Doors a couple of days earlier and I remember going up to people and shouting lines from the movie in their faces and screaming at a guy named Geno that I wanted to piss in his ear. Again, why I decided to do that I'm not sure but hey, I was drunk. Needless to say, I was drinking pretty heavily at the party too and I honestly don't remember a damn thing after the first hour I was there. Evidently I was walking around and screaming Jim Morrison quotes for a good 3 or 4 hours and when midnight struck I started to vomit in a fishtank and I passed out on the floor.

Supposedly some people were concerned that I had alcohol poisoning and were considering calling for an ambulance but because there were a lot of under age kids there (though I wasn't) and they didn't want to risk getting the cops involved. One of my buddies friends George decided he'd watch out for me and drug me in the back room. Sheri, George's girlfriend took off my clothes because they were covered in vomit and mud (I supposedly jumped in a bush in the backyard). Thinking that I might convulse, George in his infinate wisdom thought that he'd tie a rope around me with the other end connected to himself that way my shaking would somehow wake him up from his own drunken slumber. Brilliant.

So there I was laying on the floor naked tied to George Waterman, a guy that I really didn't know all that well and was dressed in just his boxers. When I woke up I didn't know where I was, what happened, or why the hell I was poised for some hot homosexual ass rapin'. It was awful. I didn't say anything at first 'cause I kept thinking to myself that there was no fucking way that I could drink so much that I'd turn gay. I mean Jesus, gin can't turn a man queer can it? I finally woke the idiot up and thankfully he explained what happened.

I was completely embarrassed about the whole incident. Not necessarily the naked thing but rather how I acted. I ended up help paying for the cleanup and buying them some new fish.
 
It's not cool to shit on someone's car dude. :lol I swear, it's stupid little fucks like you that me and my friends always hope come by when we're playing games late so we can paintball them in the dark :lol
 
My first drunk experience was at home, alone, at 9:00 AM in the morning. I wasn't planning on this previously, so I still don't know why exactly I did it... but I opened the pantry door, saw some Gordon's Vodka... Had about half a glass of that, somehow managing to swallow it. Behind that shitty plastic bottle was Scoresby's scotch. A little bit of that made me cough and splutter and nearly burned my fucking nose hairs off. And finally, behind that bottle, was a bottle of Bacardi's, which I mixed with fruit punch kool-aid. Nasty shit.................

My mom came home at 11:00 AM and found me at the computer- with vomit all over the keyboard, myself, and the floor. She saw the bottles in the kitchen and was screaming "what happened, what were you drinking?" and whatnot.

All I could answer was "scortch."

I blacked out, so I don't remember puking or anything or saying anything. And I don't know why I was on the pc. I woke up at about 3:00 PM in my bed, vomit everywhere... my dad came home a few hours later, fucking castrated my ass and at 6:00 PM I stumbled into work with a massive fucking hangover.
 
Never been drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol, and haven't drank enough of it at one time to even give me a buzz. Most I drank was a sip, just to try it.
 
jstu so you guys know im totally drunkr ight now. the guy who bartends at the gay bar said to stop by so I did but hes a bartender and I dont think i can trust him due to that fact. please advise.
 
BlackNMild2k1 said:
I see why they call you AssMan

but here's my story.....

Just the other night some female friends of mine picked me up to goto the club, once we got to SF we picked up one of her friends that I've never met. We get to the club & it turns out to be 18+ which sucks cause I feel like a dirty old man even look at some of these girls even though I'm only 25. So I spent most of my time in the back smoking area with my drinks, as that was how I felt is was best to spend my time w/o feeling uncomfortable. We leave the club and I'm sitting in the back of the car with a bottle of courvosier and the girl I just met earlier. Needless to say we were getting hammered in the back seat. Out of nowhere this black Van sideswipes us and we had to pull over. The two girls in the front get out of the car to handle legal matters, and thats when the new girl decides to pounce on me.

to make a long story short,

once we ended up getting back to the apartment of the 2 female friends, we all kept drinking. I hooked up with the new girl in the back room while trying to avoid the distraction of the bedroom door opening and closing repeatedly. When finished I left the room, but not even 20 minutes later I ended up in bed with the other two female friends whos apartment it was. I was shocked cause I was completely oblivious that they were into me like that and I'm also not sure if it would've happened if we weren't all so drunk. But if I wasn't so drunk one of those two roomates wouldn't have gotten the action that she did. She kinda snaked her way into the act taking advantage of the moment.

I had 1 on 1 and a 2 on 1 in the same night! The 2 girls are having a BBQ right now and all 3 girls are gonna be there, can I get the 2 that I want at once? Or do I settle for just 1 at a time. I know I sound like a ho, but its not every day something like that happens, especially when you know you can re-create it again and again and again.
Click to expand...
Wow. just wow. You are one lucky son of a bitch.

Anyway, I have another story. For some reason all my drunk experiences involve shit.

I went to this really big party and everyone got pretty hammered but one girl called Britney was completely out of it, she was completely pissed. Her boyfriend was at the party and one time she walked up to him and he picked her up and then she crapped on him! People took pictures of it and showed everyone in her school. Because of waht happened, everyone now calls her Shitney :lol
 
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