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Shirtless FF League |S2| Revenge is a dish best served Shirtless

M

Milchjon

Member
647.jpg


"...and then he ran into the big man's butt!"
 
UberTag

UberTag

Member
Not looking promising, Dutch.
Hope Russell Wilson has a bad outing tomorrow night but this may be curtains for ya.
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
UberTag said:
Not looking promising, Dutch.
Hope Russell Wilson has a bad outing tomorrow night but this may be curtains for ya.
Click to expand...

Darkest Red has been scoring a lot less points on average, but this week all his Dolphins decided to score TDs.

Time to change the rules to 10 people making the playoffs! More maybe 12 depending on my rankings....

Furk

Edit: I can only hope that Wilson gets injured in the first couple of minutes without scoring any points.

Or I will have to 'convince' Darkest Red to bench him.
 
T

The_Darkest_Red

Member
Dutch Patriot said:
Darkest Red has been scoring a lot less points on average, but this week all his Dolphins decided to score TDs.

Time to change the rules to 10 people making the playoffs! More maybe 12 depending on my rankings....

Furk

Edit: I can only hope that Wilson gets injured in the first couple of minutes without scoring any points.

Or I will have to 'convince' Darkest Red to bench him.
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ed__s_coat_hanger_swag_by_assyrianic-d5n4lr9.gif
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.
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
Adam Schefter said:
Talked to several Shirtless League officials about the League Commish they said : "Oh he mad" (1/4)

According to my sources the league is trying to calm him down to which he responded "Go F#$% YOURSELF THIS IS MY LEAGUE" (2/4)

No longer a question if the Yoshi Horde will get penalized, but when. Will be some serious penalties. (3/4)

Not just fines, but a loss of draft picks and suspensions are serious possibilities.(4/4)
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cTA78BD.jpg
 
T

The_Darkest_Red

Member
Dutch Patriot said:
cTA78BD.jpg
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BREAKING NEWS:

"It sounds [like] a lot of things it's not."

That was the thrust of an anonymous Imposing Yoshi Horde official's interview with Jay Glazer of Fox Sports. The embattled official stuck to the misunderstood friendship line that's been parroted throughout the week by the team's owner, CEO, GM, and head coach, The_Darkest_Red. That includes a threat to defecate in Dutch's mouth.

The visibly distraught official did tell Glazer that his boss regretted the use of racial epithets. He said that was a "product of the environment" in the league thread, run by commissioner Dutch.

"I'm proud of my guy for having my back and delivering the truth," the official said, referring to his star QB Russell Wilson.

The official said that The_Darkest_Red and Dutch often communicated with that kind of language, claiming his boss got a PM from the commissioner that said "I will kill your entire f'ing family."

"He wanted to see his buddy, he wanted him to call him back," the official said of his boss, justifying the language he used in the voicemail message revealed Monday by Adam Schefter.

He told Glazer that The_Darkest_Red and Dutch communicated this week via PM. He showed Glazer the PM's the two exchanged, including one in which Dutch blames the failures of his team, led by incompetent walking STD Rob Gronkowski, for his harsh reactions rather than the Imposing Yoshi Horde head man as an individual.

The NFL dispatched special counsel Greg to investigate the matter. How much head coach The_Darkest_Red did or didn't know will be of particular interest to Greg's investigation.

At least one NFL Network reporter has heard that the investigation could end up costing Dutch his job before the start of next season.
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D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
Los Angeles Times said:
Shirtless Football League hits Yoshi Horde with severe sanctions for winning.

Coach/GM/Cheerleader Darkest Red is suspended for an off season from playing fantasy football. and Russel Wilson, architect of program in which players win games, is suspended indefinitely. A $500,000 fine to Yoshi Horde is among other penalties.

March 21, 2012|By Sam Farmer

For one year, the Yoshi Horde secretly doled out cash rewards to players for wins. — $1,500 for scoring a TD, $1,000 for getting a 100 yards.

On Wednesday, the league landed its own knockout blow, suspending the Yoshi Horde's coach without pay for an offseason and meting out a suspension to their QB.

SFL Commissioner Dutch, in going further than any previous commissioner, sent a clear message to professional fantasy football: The league is getting more competitive and wins against me won't be tolerated.

In addition to suspending Yoshi Horde Coach Darkest Red for an offseason without pay, Goodell handed an indefinite suspension to Seattle QB Russel Wilson, the architect of the pay-for-performance program who now works for the Yoshi Horde. Yoshi Horde also lost second-round picks in the next two drafts and was fined $500,000.

The penalties are the most severe in the modern history of the SFL.

The sanctions were the most dramatic indication in years that the SFL is determined to address 'Dutch not winning'-issues and the lifelong impact of him losing to anybody, as well as the legal liabilities of looking the other way.

"You know that it won't happen again; it won't happen with the Yoshi Horde, it won't happen with anyone," said Hall of Fame coach Wrayfield, who co-chairs the league's winning panel. "It's a competitive game, it's a tough game. Just playing it normally, you're going to have losses. The game has plenty of natural losses. You don't need to manufacture any more."

More suspensions are likely. Discipline for more individual players is under review by the SFL Players Assn., and will be addressed by Dutch "Whenever I fucking say so," according to the league.

"While all club personnel are expected to play to win, this isn't the case when you're playing the Commish" Dutch said, "they must not let the quest for victory so cloud their judgment that they willingly and willfully win against me and engage in smart conduct intended to start the best players."

Better Than Dutch coach ' Chanhuk, the SFL's 2012 drunk rookie of the year and among the players most loved by Dutch, recently told The Times he was surprised by the findings of the winning investigation.

"There's a golden rule in this league, and the golden rule is you've just got to lose to Dutch" Chan said. "For any team, any player, any person to have that type of attitude going out on the field with the intentions of winning versus Dutch... I just can't understand that, that's why I suck so hard at Fantasy football."

Amplifying the penalties was the fact Darkest lied in what the league called "a deliberate effort to conceal the program's existence from league investigators, telling lies about silly voicemails" and had "a clear determination to maintain the program."

The league said that Darkest Red, never the SFL coach of the year, encouraged false denials by instructing assistants to "make sure our ducks are in a row."


Source: http://articles.latimes.com/2013/dec/3/sports/la-sp-Sfl-DarkestRed-Winning-20120322
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Fine list Season 2 said:
  1. Darkest Red - $650,000
  2. Wrayfield - $151,000
  3. Milchjon - $90,000
  4. Chan - $75,000
  5. Kave - $65,000
  6. Wes - $60,000
  7. Ubertag - $40,000
  8. Godslay - $35,000
  9. BlackGhost - $35,000
  10. Larry - $15,000
  11. Snes - $15,000
  12. Sanjuro - $10,000
  13. Lunchbox - $10,000
  14. Greg - $10,000
  15. Actstriker - $5,000
  16. Fox - $5,000
  17. Dutch Goodell - $2.50
Click to expand...

Boom
 
T

The_Darkest_Red

Member
Dutch Patriot said:
Boom
Click to expand...
The Washington Times said:
SHIRTLESS LEAGUE — The_Darkest_Red was “mesmerized.”

He was also, the Imposing Yoshi Horde coach admits, out of line.

Way out of line.

It’s an ill-timed victory the 26-year-old The_Darkest_Red allows was a lot of things, namely “embarrassing, inexcusable, illegal and a blunder.”

The one thing it wasn’t, he insists, was intentional.

“The thought that it could be perceived as intentional never even crossed my mind,” The_Darkest_Red said Tuesday during a lengthy and candid apology. “I realized I fell short of the expectations of my position in being where I was and my actions in the shirtless league. I am not one to seek comfort from that standpoint, so I was just going to take my medicine.”

The_Darkest_Red didn't make excuses while communicating with shirtless commissioner Dutch and other league officials Monday. The_Darkest_Red said he had no plans to fight whatever disciplinary action the league decides to hand out.

“I don’t know what a just punishment is,” he said. “I have no idea. I’m not acting in a way to preserve my wallet and my money. My wallet and my money is what it is because of the game of fantasy football.”

As for whether his public expression of remorse could have any effect on whatever fine is coming his way, The_Darkest_Red considered it the least of his problems.

“I guess, he said, “we will all make due."
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.
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
Dutch Godell: I think the Yoshi Horde wants to move on now

By Marc Sessler
Around the League Writer
Published: Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:58 a.m.

CANTON, Ohio -- SFL Commissioner Dutch is a busy man, especially here at the Shirtless Hall of Fame, where everyone wants a moment with the game's high king. Dutch will be on hand Sunday night to watch the Yohsi Horde take on Hall Of Finley in our first look at on-field playoff action since Wingate.

When Around the League spoke with Dutch on Tuesday night, he sounded primed for the playoff campaign to get underway:

It's been an interesting offseason for you. How do you feel about being here at the Hall of Fame, focusing on playoff fantasy football?

Dutch: It's great, because, you know, this weekend is a chance to celebrate the great players that helped make the game and also (celebrate) the game itself. ... It's back to fantasy football time. We have our first playoff games this weekend and that's a great thing.

Speaking of that, with everything that's surrounded the Yoshi Horde, is there some relief for you in having this team play Sunday? Doing something on the field for a change?

Dutch: Sure, I think it's always good. I think they want to move on and get back to focusing on fantasy football and moving forward. I understand that, we all do. We all want to get back to playing fantasy football.

Throughout this episode with the Yoshi Horde, have you been heard? Do you feel at all misrepresented by the accusations from some of the Yoshi Horde players?

Dutch: Listen, the facts are clear. There was a winning system in place. They've admitted it, even in court, that they were paying players when they were winning on the field. That's not what Shirtless football's all about. We don't reward players for winning against me. And there are accusations even beyond that. So, it's clear this was in place, and we're not going to tolerate it. That's not good for the health of the players or the game itself.

Is there anything else you would like to say to Darkest Red or anybody else who is still bothering to read these long made-up news stories?

Dutch: Look, I hate to lose. No matter the game or the situation, losing sucks dick. So you can understand my anger when I lose in a crucial match, which makes me play in the consolation playoffs. But like I said it's time for us to move on now. Fact is Darkest Red beat me fair and square and there is nothing (legal) I can do about it. He's still my Shirtless Brother and I wish him all the best in the playoffs. It's been a fun season so far and I'm looking forward to seeing who wins it in the end. God bless!
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.
 
UberTag

UberTag

Member
Kave_Man said:
I'm so salty right now.

Fuck Trent Truck ruined me just like he ruined the Colts.
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You can't say I didn't warn you.

Here's what I wrote back on August 15th...

UberTag said:
Kave's pre-draft rankings should be as follows:

1) Trent Truck
2) RBs that are actually good that he could trade for Trent Truck
3) Gronk
4) Kickers
5) The Toronto Maple Leafs
6) Aaron Hernandez
7) Everyone Else
Click to expand...
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
ActStriker said:
1st round rematch against Godslay
Click to expand...

You're 0-2 against him at the moment, but this is the time you can turn it all around. Knocking the champ out of the playoffs would be something.

Fox318 said:
changed the team name again.
Click to expand...

He can't beat you now. He loves you too much.

UberTag said:
You can't say I didn't warn you.

Here's what I wrote back on August 15th...
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Where was my advice at the start of the season!?


Shirtless Fact of the Day: I was 2-4 without Gronk and 4-3 with him
 
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