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[petran79]

You should have read this thread and used a poop knife

Did you ever took a dump so large you had to break it in half in order for it go away down the toilet

So, did you? I did a few times. This one time I didn't poop for 4 days and I was eating a lot of ham, sausages and bacon. After 4 days I finally needed to go. It was so large, it couldn't go down the toilet. I flushed and it wouldn't go away. It was so huge. So I had to use the toilet brush to...

www.neogaf.com

 

[just_some_nut]

I once had very little options and opted to pour hot water from the sink onto it to dissolve it. Smelled like all hell but worked pretty well tbh

 

[Hudo]

You could've tried to take it (via the use of some ungodly amount of toilet paper between the turd and your hand) and throw it out the window.

 

[Turnt]

You could've tried to take it (via the use of some ungodly amount of toilet paper between the turd and your hand) and throw it out the window.

Slam that shit off her car's windshield and show her who's boss.

 

[Hudo]

Slam that shit off her car's windshield and show her who's boss.

Well, she'll never know it's his turd. Especially if she lives in the Bay Area.

 

[RoadHazard]

You guys have weird toilets, I've never heard of one clogging from too much poop. Too much paper, sure.

Anyway, story seems hard to believe. You just left it for her to find? If this really happened, yeah, you're an animal.

 

[MayauMiao]

She probably understand you put out big turds but the way you leave your belonging like that is a red flag to her that you're irresponsible and probably don't want to deal with a stuck turd in the toilet for the rest of her life.

 

[Ailynn]

...and they say size doesn't matter.

 

[DragoonKain]

Tell her your dick is as big as your shit logs.

 

[KingdomHeartsFan]

How are you gonna leave it and not say anything lmao.

 

[Explosive Zombie]

I think Trump said he's going to do something about our low-pressure toilets... lemme see...

Trump says people are 'flushing toilets 10, 15 times' in call for better water standards – video

The US president has issued an order to review water-saving regulations for America's bathrooms

www.theguardian.com

 

[G-Bus]

You aren't an animal for clogging the toilet, your an asshole for just leaving it.

Messed up dude.

How hard is it to ask for a plunger?

 

[Elcid]

But if you flush too much then you're giving the vibe that you're leaving a clogger which is equally awkward. Man that situation sucks. I would have clenched my ass till a vein ruptured in that situation.

 

[Slings and Arrows]

I knew a friend who, when shitting at a girls house, would wrap his hand in toilet paper, shit into his palm and gently place it in to the toilet so it didn't plop.

If it was a two-palmer, he used to break it up before placing it in the shitter.

True story.

 

[TheContact]

tbh if u dunk a big shit in a toilet and can't flush, have some courtesy at least to ask for a plunger or at the very least inform her of the massive shit u left in her toilet. i can 100% understand why she wouldn't want to see you again.

 

[THE:MILKMAN]

You did a number on your dates bathroom and that number was 2.

 

[Insane Metal]

Dude you must have a huge asshole If you clogged The toilet.

 

[EverydayBeast]

May have cost your chance with her

 

[Taxexemption]

You are a man, you have no excuse not to at least ask for a plunger or try to locate one.

 

[Grinchy]

You don't even need a plunger. Squirt some shampoo in the toilet. It breaks down the fats in your shit logs.

Let it sit for like 30-60 minutes, then tell her you need to pee. Go back in and flush. She'll never know there was even an issue. Unless she had to go in that 30-60 minute window. Then she'd find a disgusting bowl filled with shit and shampoo.

 

[Rentahamster]

Did you clean yourself off with a napkin and thank her for the hospitality?

 

[Elcid]

Unless she had to go in that 30-60 minute window. Then she'd find a disgusting bowl filled with shit and shampoo.

 

[diffusionx]

I was in Costa Rica in my Spanish school and took one of the biggest, toughest dumps I've ever taken in my life (after being constipated for days because of the travel, change in diet, etc.). I was admiring my handiwork but also knew I clogged the shit out of the bowl because the water flow is mediocre there. So I ended up using the handle of the plunger to break apart the poop into smaller pieces so it could go down. Took me forever, and was not a great time. I also had to wash off the plunger handle so it didn't have poop pieces on it. Not great, but I knew I couldn't leave a log there because there were only like 10 students and everyone knew who used the bathroom last.

You guys have weird toilets, I've never heard of one clogging from too much poop. Too much paper, sure.

Anyway, story seems hard to believe. You just left it for her to find? If this really happened, yeah, you're an animal.

I rented out a place that had a defective toilet that clogged all the time. The landlord was a real asshole and it took like 6 months of complaining to get it replaced.

.

 

[Classicrockfan]

 

[Compsiox]

She made the right call. You didn't say anything and you don't really seem to care.

Big yikes.

 

[John Day]

Well, means she wouldn't take a shit from you if living together. Saved the heartache

 

[nush]

When I was younger I lived in a shared house and this girl came to visit us and dropped an unflushable floating turd in our toilet before she left. We all gathered around when this natural wonder of the world floater was found and took turns trying to flush it. We gave up and just let it dissolve overnight.

Then the next time we saw the girl we ripped the absolute piss out of her for ages!

 

[Barsinister]

For newer members, here's a short history of Elektro Demon and his fecal escapades.....

 

[megalaserLAWS]

I bet I know your problem though. It's amazing how many people wipe their ass incorrectly. Do you scrunch bunches or neatly fold three tickets around your hand wipe one side, fold dirty side in then wipe and discard? I find toilet bowel cloggers are notorious bunch scrunchers( had a buddy and brother in law who used to have that problem).

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

OP finds out his shit does indeed stink.

Mate you should have owned up there and then with the follow through of cleaning it up yourself, pardon the pun.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

That scene is right out that movie "Along came Polly".

Or Dumb and Dumber

 

[Tevious]

Does this shirt come in a small?

 

[Elcid]

For newer members, here's a short history of Elektro Demon and his fecal escapades.....

This was incredible. I can only pray to one day reach this level of infamy.

 

[haxan7]

Andre the giant was so big he had to shit in bath tubs and let it dissolve down the drain.

Next time you're feeling cocky about your big dumps just remember that fact.

 

[bender]

Sounds like a story you made up when looking for your misplaced plunger.

 

[Halo is Back]

OP's date after entering the bathroom

 

[Hudo]

I bet I know your problem though. It's amazing how many people wipe their ass incorrectly. Do you scrunch bunches or neatly fold three tickets around your hand wipe one side, fold dirty side in then wipe and discard? I find toilet bowel cloggers are notorious bunch scrunchers( had a buddy and brother in law who used to have that problem).

Is it possible to wipe our ass with less then one piece of toilet paper via some high-level folding techniques?

 

[megalaserLAWS]

Is it possible to wipe our ass with less then one piece of toilet paper via some high-level folding techniques?

That's some next level techniques. I won't rule it out as impossible but it is on the very limit of human abilities. Even then though if have that level of control you might as well just go for true anal perfection and gain ghost shit mastery and not even have to wipe at all.

 

[IfuckinghateReddit]

I literally just took a dump and didn't clog the toilet. Would you like me to film an instructional video for you next time?

 

[Hudo]

That's some next level techniques. I won't rule it out as impossible but it is on the very limit of human abilities. Even then though if have that level of control you might as well just go for true anal perfection and gain ghost shit mastery and not even have to wipe at all.

I had one ghost shit in my life. It was a revelation but very confusing at first. I still wasted a couple pieces of toilet paper because I just couldn't believe that they were still in mint condition after wiping. I never had a ghost shit since, unfortunately.

 

[The Hamburglar]

So I was at this girls house and I had to take a dump. I ate some spicy pizza with sausages and stuff. And I go to the bathroom and I take a massive toilet clogging dump. I flushed and I flushed and it wouldn't go away. So I decided to leave it as is. When I got home she texted me saying I'm an animal and she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. What a cold hearted bitch.
So what I needed to relieve myself for gods sake. I'm a big man, I put out big turds. It's not my fault. She clearly doesn't understand me. Maybe it's for the better. What do you think?

Please tell me you at least busted a nut

 

[Kev Kev]

So I was at this girls house and I had to take a dump.

lmao you are a god damn animal