Ned Flanders
Banned
Now I know know know what you're immediately thinking (you prick), but before you call me a cradle robber (and definitely before I tell you that my birthday is next month....err..#$@!!), let me go a bit into detail.
Basically I met this girl and her mom where I work. The daughter had to leave not long after showing up, so I struck up a casual conversation with her mom (who was not too shabby looking herself I might add). Soo I was piling on the cocky + funny when I inquired how old her daughter was. She replied by asking me how old I was, and upon my response of "23", she followed with "Too young for you." I asked her how old "too young" was, and she replied (ding!) 18.
Never one to let any woman keep me from conquest, I rebuffed her with a heavy cocktail of logic and charm. I told her to think about your average married couple..it's not uncommon for the husband to be 28 and the wife 23 etc etc. In fact I have friends who's parents are nearly a decade apart in age. In following this line of reason, I asked her, "so would you rather have your daughter dating one of these knucklehead 18/19 year olds who just want to get in her pants, or someone a few years her senior who knows how to respect and treat a lady??" Naturally my blast of silky smooth game immediately had her mother rethinking her objections, and the conversation proceeded with some more background about myself and her daughter etc etc.
Well in the process of the conversation, I wrote down my number on a piece of paper and slipped it to her boyfriend (the mother is divorced..never a good sign) and whispered to him to stick it on his forehead as he talked to her. She laughed at first and he eventually gave her the number to keep. Not long after, they left, no doubt extremely impressed with how complete a package I was.
Almost a week and a half later, I'm in the shower one night and step out to find a voicemail. Not even remembering her name, the message didn't click until the girl said "It took me a while to call you back because I didn't know if you wanted me or my mom to call you," which, although a joke, would have been acceptable to me in either scenario.
So I simmered over whether to call her back or not..her being so young lead to immediate apprehension on my part, but I kind of felt obligated to call her since her mom was cool and approving enough to give her my number in the first place.
Well since calling her I've established that she's probably the most mature 18 year old girl I've ever met. She is sharp, keenly observant (I can't stand oblivious bimbos like the legendary co-worker I..um.."Staminated", as reported on the old GAF), and is very direct and honest without coming off like a cold hearted bitch. Turns out she has always hung out with people older than her (her best friend, an aquaintance of mine, is 22..also smoking hot BTW), and her last boyfriend was 22. There are times when we talk that I'm just baffled at how on the level she is for someone who has yet to attend college (she starts in the fall) and was raised in a rural town known for pumping out Darwin Award nominees.
The funniest part of all to me is that one of my best friends, upon hearing that this girl is 18, was like "you're gonna date a girl 6 years younger than you?", doubly funny because she's only 5 years younger and because I turn 24 next month. Well this same friend, who's birthday was this month, has a girlfriend who's 22 and is every bit as dumb as any rock I've ever encountered. She acts and talks far more like an 18 year old than the girl I'm talking to, but he's so hung up on fucking numbers that it doesn't matter to him (he's dumb as driftwood too).
So I've seen her once since calling her the first time (just a casual run-in kind of thing) and we've spoken at length on the phone twice, each time talking for nearly 2 freaking hours! We're likely to go see a movie together on Friday. So should I just abandon the old-man guilt and just roll with the "age ain't nothin but a number" credo? After all, personality compatability has nothing necessarily to do with age (or even sex, ethnicity etc), right?? Or should I do the "don't seem like a creepy perv" thing and just remain friends with her? She's SMOKING hot, and it makes her all the more hot that despite the fact that she's so gorgeous, she's very down-to-earth.
I don't know. I'm not big on feeling guilty, and everything tells me that this is a fantastic girl with her head on straight who can hold a conversation without inducing brain decay. I don't see why the years between us (outside of limiting conversation on topics like great 80's movies and the Cold War) should keep us from connecting further, especially over some silly stigma about being a cradle robber etc. What does GAF think? Staminate, or no?
Basically I met this girl and her mom where I work. The daughter had to leave not long after showing up, so I struck up a casual conversation with her mom (who was not too shabby looking herself I might add). Soo I was piling on the cocky + funny when I inquired how old her daughter was. She replied by asking me how old I was, and upon my response of "23", she followed with "Too young for you." I asked her how old "too young" was, and she replied (ding!) 18.
Never one to let any woman keep me from conquest, I rebuffed her with a heavy cocktail of logic and charm. I told her to think about your average married couple..it's not uncommon for the husband to be 28 and the wife 23 etc etc. In fact I have friends who's parents are nearly a decade apart in age. In following this line of reason, I asked her, "so would you rather have your daughter dating one of these knucklehead 18/19 year olds who just want to get in her pants, or someone a few years her senior who knows how to respect and treat a lady??" Naturally my blast of silky smooth game immediately had her mother rethinking her objections, and the conversation proceeded with some more background about myself and her daughter etc etc.
Well in the process of the conversation, I wrote down my number on a piece of paper and slipped it to her boyfriend (the mother is divorced..never a good sign) and whispered to him to stick it on his forehead as he talked to her. She laughed at first and he eventually gave her the number to keep. Not long after, they left, no doubt extremely impressed with how complete a package I was.
Almost a week and a half later, I'm in the shower one night and step out to find a voicemail. Not even remembering her name, the message didn't click until the girl said "It took me a while to call you back because I didn't know if you wanted me or my mom to call you," which, although a joke, would have been acceptable to me in either scenario.
So I simmered over whether to call her back or not..her being so young lead to immediate apprehension on my part, but I kind of felt obligated to call her since her mom was cool and approving enough to give her my number in the first place. Well since calling her I've established that she's probably the most mature 18 year old girl I've ever met. She is sharp, keenly observant (I can't stand oblivious bimbos like the legendary co-worker I..um.."Staminated", as reported on the old GAF), and is very direct and honest without coming off like a cold hearted bitch. Turns out she has always hung out with people older than her (her best friend, an aquaintance of mine, is 22..also smoking hot BTW), and her last boyfriend was 22. There are times when we talk that I'm just baffled at how on the level she is for someone who has yet to attend college (she starts in the fall) and was raised in a rural town known for pumping out Darwin Award nominees.
The funniest part of all to me is that one of my best friends, upon hearing that this girl is 18, was like "you're gonna date a girl 6 years younger than you?", doubly funny because she's only 5 years younger and because I turn 24 next month. Well this same friend, who's birthday was this month, has a girlfriend who's 22 and is every bit as dumb as any rock I've ever encountered. She acts and talks far more like an 18 year old than the girl I'm talking to, but he's so hung up on fucking numbers that it doesn't matter to him (he's dumb as driftwood too).
So I've seen her once since calling her the first time (just a casual run-in kind of thing) and we've spoken at length on the phone twice, each time talking for nearly 2 freaking hours! We're likely to go see a movie together on Friday. So should I just abandon the old-man guilt and just roll with the "age ain't nothin but a number" credo? After all, personality compatability has nothing necessarily to do with age (or even sex, ethnicity etc), right?? Or should I do the "don't seem like a creepy perv" thing and just remain friends with her? She's SMOKING hot, and it makes her all the more hot that despite the fact that she's so gorgeous, she's very down-to-earth.
I don't know. I'm not big on feeling guilty, and everything tells me that this is a fantastic girl with her head on straight who can hold a conversation without inducing brain decay. I don't see why the years between us (outside of limiting conversation on topics like great 80's movies and the Cold War) should keep us from connecting further, especially over some silly stigma about being a cradle robber etc. What does GAF think? Staminate, or no?
