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[tedtropy]

Teh mature! Found at http://www.livejournal.com/users/colddoggjuice/4327.html

” ‘There was no need to stick the wand in that hard,’ he said gruffly, clambering to his feet. ‘It hurt.’” (p. 64)

“Just as he raised a gloved hand to wipe them, Leanne made to grab hold of the package Katie was holding; Katie tugged it back and the package fell to the ground.” (p. 248)

“Very astute, Harry, but the mouth organ was only ever a mouth organ.” (p. 278)

“…a hole opened in the middle of all the tentaclelike branches; Hermione plunged her arm bravely into this hole, which closed like a trap around her elbow; Harry and Ron tugged and wrenched at the vines, forcing the hole to open again, and Hermione snatched her arm free, clutching in her fingers a pod just like Neville’s… the gnarled stump sat there looking like an innocently dead lump of wood.” (p. 281)

“‘Pass me a bowl,’ said Hermione, holding the pulsating pod at arm’s length” (ibid.)

“‘I’m his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be,’ said Snape curtly.” (p. 320)

“Lupin burst out laughing. ‘Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’, in company.’” (p. 335)

” ‘Oh, hang on — password. Abstinence.’
‘Precisely,’ said the Fat Lady in a feeble voice, and swung forward to reveal the portrait hole.” (p. 351)

” ‘I dunno,’ said Harry. ‘Maybe it’s better when you do it yourself, I didn’t enjoy it much when Dumbledore took me along for the ride.’ ” (p. 355)

” ‘You see?’ Dumbledore said quietly, holding his wand a little higher. Harry saw a fissure in the cliff into which dark water was swirling.
‘You will not object to getting a little wet?’
‘No,’ said Harry.
‘Then take off your Invisibility Cloak — there is no need for it now — and let us take the plunge.’ ” (p. 556)

” ‘We need to penetrate the inner place… Now it is Lord Voldemort’s obstacles that stand in our way, rather than those nature made…’ ” (p. 558)

 

[olimario]

Most are stupid, but this one is great after the BBC furry thing.

“Lupin burst out laughing. ‘Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’, in company.’” (p. 335)

:lol

 

[El_Victor]

From Bash.org:
<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

 

[CrystalGemini]

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[Aruarian Reflection]

Here's some I found (all from Book 6). Hooray for e-books!


"Wang out and follow me, Harry," he said quietly.


Harry raised his wang higher.
"Harry, no!" moaned Hermione, grabbing his arm and attempting to push it down by his side. "Think... You mustn't... You'll be in such trouble..."


Harry had pinned Mundungus against the wall of the pub by the throat. Holding him fast with one hand, he pulled out his wang.


"Keep your wang at the ready, Harry," he said brightly.


Lost in visions of this happy prospect, he flicked his wang a little too enthusiastically, so that instead of producing the fountain of pure water that was the object of today's Charms lesson, he let out a hoselike jet that ricocheted off the ceiling and knocked Professor Flitwick flat on his face.


There was a long, long silence, but Felix Felicis told Harry not to break it, to wait. Then, very slowly, Slughorn put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his wang.


Pointing his wang at nothing in particular, he gave it an upward flick and said Levicorpus! inside his head. "Aaaaaaaargh!"


"You see?" said Dumbledore quietly, holding his wang a little higher. "You will not object to getting a little wet?"


And without warning, Dumbledore swooped, plunging the tip of his wang into the seat of the overstuffed armchair, which yelled, "Ouch!"


Harry remained silent while Dumbledore worked, but after a while Dumbledore with­drew his wang, and Harry felt it was safe to talk again.


"No!" roared Snape's voice and the pain stopped as suddenly as it had started; Harry lay curled on the dark grass, clutching his wang and panting.


"There was no need to stick the wang in that hard," he said gruffly, clambering to his feet. "It hurt."


"And I don't want wangs drawn in my shop either!" she added hastily, for a glance toward the door had shown her Harry and Ron both standing there with their wangs out and pointing at Malfoy.


Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wang. "Where can I get one of them?"


"I can fix that," said Harry, landing beside the two girls, pointing his wang at Demelzas mouth, and saying "Episkey."


"Says I'm starting to live up to my dad at long last. She bought me a new wang, look!"
He pulled it out and showed it to Harry.
"Cherry and unicorn hair," he said proudly.

 

[Bowser]

"I can fix that," said Harry, landing beside the two girls, pointing his wang at Demelzas mouth, and saying "Episkey."

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Aruarian Reflection]

I tried to arrange the first half of that post into somewhat of a mini story

 

[jet1911]

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"You see?" said Dumbledore quietly, holding his wang a little higher. "You will not object to getting a little wet?"

:lol :lol

Why oh why I am always drinking something when I come in a thread like this?

 

[SteveMeister]

huh-huh... huh-huh... he said "wand"...
shut up, Beavis

 

[Ferrio]

Lost in visions of this happy prospect, he flicked his wang a little too enthusiastically, so that instead of producing the fountain of pure water that was the object of today's Charms lesson, he let out a hoselike jet that ricocheted off the ceiling and knocked Professor Flitwick flat on his face.

:lol

 

[GamerShu]

:lol :lol