Sci-Fi is just the means to get at that character goodness. Star Trek that's about very ostentatiously being sci-fi is a TNG thing, and TNG isn't even all that great an example of Star Trek.
True, but it's more than just characterization that is making people miss "classic" Trek. For example, in TWoK it takes the Enterprise time to get to places, they need to travel about space and this makes space feel big and vast. Same thing in ST6, when Sulu needs to get the Excelsior to the battle quickly he pushes his ship past it's limits and it
still takes time to get there. These are fake tech limits but it adds drama and a believability to the universe the movies takes place in, it adds tension to the movies.
Now take the Abrams movies where the Enterprise can warp from planet to planet within minutes no matter where they are going simply because the plot needs to move at breakneck speed for reasons. Also in the Abrams movies it's super easy to transport people between planets or even ships hundreds of light years apart with nothing more than a
backpack. This defies everything about the Star Trek "universe" that fans have loved for decades now and no fan of the series would ever allow such a thing to even be written once, let alone twice in two films.
Roddenberry created the show to be as grounded in real science as possible, that was important to him and it's also one aspect that is very important to many fans of the franchise. Abram's movies didn't care about real science at all, they did whatever they needed to in order to service their scripts. For lots of people this is a silly point of view and, as you said above, "pouty and weird", but to lots of Star Trek fans it's an important aspect that makes Star Trek "Star Trek". It's a science fiction show that at least tries to take the
science part of it's fiction seriously. That's the draw, that's the appeal, and without it you've just got another typical Hollywood sci-fi romp, like the Abram's movies. It's one reason why so many Star Trek fans loved the new BSG series to death: good characterization coupled with a world of "believable" science rules that they stayed true to.
I think for people who aren't frenzied ST fans this is hard to comprehend, but it's how a lot of fans of the franchise really feel.