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[Ninja Scooter]

Prostitution, rape, murder, and kidnapping are funny now?

If you've ever watched a Quentin Tarantino or Martin Scorcese movie, yes, they can be.

 

[Bronx-Man]

Is it wrong that I identified with Jarret?

 

[Gnome Scat]

Best thing I've read in a while.

 

[daveo42]

That was one hell of a story. Actually feel sorry for both Jarret and Jessica. That's some horrible shit to get into and even harder to get out of because of fucked up dudes like 'Z'.

 

[Jeronimo Jones]

Crazy, entertaining story. I would pay to see the movie.

 

[vainglorious]

GloZell as Zola.

 

[Dragun619]

Yoo, wtf, that was quite the story.

I actually read all of that. Like daaaaaaaaamn.

And if this is really true story then omg. Then yooooo, wtf!?!?!?

 

[spindashing]

I actually do lmao. I also get real emotional in stressful situations and start thinking about harming myself in serious ways.

 

[Joe]

How dense do you have to be to think people are laughing at the actions in the story and not at how the story was told?

 

[lazyproblems]

WOW. It started at Hooter's and only went downhill from there, but that was one hell of a story.

GloZell as Zola.

Oh my gosh yesssssss.

 

[see5harp]

I never knew Hooters girls had to talk to customers. I might go there after work.

 

[Future]

DAT PUSSY IS WORTH THOUSANDS

THERE ARE FAMILYS HERE BRO

Will never forget these lines

 

[CreeperBlocks]

This could be an Origin Story for Cookie from Empire.

That's literally what all I was thinking about

 

[wildfire]

Oh god. It just dawned on me Jarrett needs to be on suicide watch again since he acquired these 15 minutes.


#BlowJarrett

 

[daveo42]

I never knew Hooters girls had to talk to customers. I might go there after work.

It's like a shitty version of a hostess club. I wouldn't suggest it unless you like paying for low-grade food and paying strippers not to sit on your lap.

 

[E92 M3]

How dense do you have to be to think people are laughing at the actions in the story and not at how the story was told?

Like Osmium

 

[Yawnier]

I can't believe I just read all that. Crazy story though.

 

[backflip10019]

It's insane that she just went along with all of that despite knowing she was in a bad place. She easily could've been killed by someone. Anyone with half a brain would get the hell out of there from early on in the story.

 

[gabbo]

I don't know how well it would translate to film. Half the humour/interest is from Twitter narration aspect, and the form it takes. Now if the film is Zola recapping the tale to the audience/another character (her twitter implies this is tip of the iceberg and oldhat for her) then it might work.
That said, highly engaging read.

 

[.....]

Absolutely crazy story.

 

[BennyBlanco]

Anyone find a link to a news story?

 

[Nabs]

Oh god. It just dawned on me Jarrett needs to be on suicide watch again since he acquired these 15 minutes.


#BlowJarrett

Jarrett is trending on twitter, someone needs to check on him.

 

[vainglorious]

It's insane that she just went along with all of that despite knowing she was in a bad place. She easily could've been killed by someone. Anyone with half a brain would get the hell out of there from early on in the story.

It sounds like this wasn't Zola's first rodeo show.

 

[Zaph]

I don't know how well it would translate to film. Half the humour/interest is from Twitter narration aspect, and the form it takes. Now if the film is Zola recapping the tale to the audience/another character (her twitter implies this is tip of the iceberg and oldhat for her)
That said, highly engaging read.

I want the whole thing filmed from Zola's POV, like that action film, but with her internal monologue as a narration.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Hooooooly shit, that was INSANE.

 

[Yaphett Kotto]

That pussy is worth thousands.

So. Fucking. Dead.

 

[SmartBase]

True or not that story was entertaining, time well spent reading that.

 

[Ephemeris]

Forbes Quote of the day:
Pussy is worth thousands - Aziah King

 

[Glass Rebel]

this reminded me of the General Mills chronicles on the coli. girl has a knack for storytelling.

 

[see5harp]

It's like a shitty version of a hostess club. I wouldn't suggest it unless you like paying for low-grade food and paying strippers not to sit on your lap.

No worries man. I'm not actually going to Hooters.

 

[Dari Elxix]

BRUUUUUUH

Story had me dying over here!! I need to see the movie of this ASAP.

Zola - Lauren London
Jess - Emma Roberts
Jarret - Aaron Paul
Z - David Oyelowo

 

[Tagyhag]

This was fucking insane, I don't see any good coming of this, but I understand where she was coming from. I don't think I could leave such a story bottled up in me.

 

[JrBaconCheeseburger]

Amazing story and really entertaining.

Zola commentary is ridiculously funny.

Hoes have crazy stories all the time.

 

[manhack]

How dense do you have to be to think people are laughing at the actions in the story and not at how the story was told?

There is always a few. They will keep trickling into the thread trying to make us feel bad for finding this amusing.

 

[studyguy]

 

[TyphoonStruggle]

If you've ever watched a Quentin Tarantino or Martin Scorcese movie, yes, they can be.

There is a difference between fiction and reality. This is an easy concept to grasp. Do you really need further explanation?

 

[GifGafIsTheBestGaf]

Jamal Woolard as Z

 

[wildfire]

This also raises another question: what's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute? If you have a boyfriend and are sleeping with another guy for money/gifts, isn't that prostitution?

Hoes and male sluts straight up get money? I seriously doubt that and I feel because of that and one other condition we can make a distinction between hoeism and prostitution.

The second condition that makes someone a hoe instead of a whore is that a whore strictly calculates their time spent with someone as part of their earnings. Being a hoe is a lot like dating in relationship where the time you spend with someone is mercurial and receiving gifts or comfort and love isn't always expected, at the level you want, with each date.

 

[BlueTsunami]

All women need to know the worth of that pussy 💯

 

[NervousXtian]

Well, that was a good way to start the morning. Entertaining until the end.

 

[ElTorro]

Yooo...

How can you hang by your pants from a balcony?

 

[Ninja Scooter]

There is a difference between fiction and reality. This is an easy concept to grasp. Do you really need further explanation?

Goodfellas is a retelling of a story based in reality, just like, presumably, this is. It's all in the context and how something is presented. Both this and Goodfellas are purposely presented in entertaining and sometimes amusing ways, so don't be shocked when people are entertained and amused.

 

[Sato Koiji]

Cant believe these motherfuckers are human beings. Hilarious!

 

[Mr Fahrenheit]

Man, that's just how it is in Florida.

 

[TheGrue]

Anything can be funny. But I've got a pretty dark sense of humor compared to most people, so I might be alone on this.

You're not alone. There is nothing in this universe that can't be made funny.

 

[BadAss2961]

There is a difference between fiction and reality. This is an easy concept to grasp. Do you really need further explanation?

Like all of Scorsese's popular films are based on real events.

 

[psynergylover]

YOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Just holy shit!!!!!

Waiting for the movie

 

[PandaShake]

OH SHIT. HERE WE GOOOO

I the moment z said to kill his manhood, I knew this story was about to get netorare.

I haven't finished reading the thread yet to see if this is real, but I can't believe someone would out themselves out as an accomplice to setting up prostitution especially when she seemed level-headed "enough" to feign ignorance in that jail call. Wow.

Also, "Trap in stripper lingo means trick" wth is trick...oh..

 

[Takuan]

Give this woman a Pulitzer. What a fucking story. "Vibing over our hoeism" is the line of the century.

Jess was totally selling herself short. Cute girl.

 

[Sato Koiji]

I love how the prostitute has a child. Thats not going to be a happy life story.