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[Ketch]

So is it real?

 

[hateradio]

So is it real?

As real as you want it to be.

 

[takriel]

So is it real?

There's a Z in everyone of us, just waiting to be unleashed....

 

[EASTC0AST_GH05T]

Nooo whyyyyy!

 

[T-Rex.]

Ether

Bah gawd JR. Perfect.

 

[The Silver]

There's a Z in everyone of us, just waiting to be unleashed....

I think you'll find mostly Jarretts on GAF

 

[17 Seconds]

the story was very interesting, but i don't see how people are laughing about it. it was a story about murder, sex trafficking, mental illness, suicide, possible rape, and a bunch of completely broken people. i felt really bad after reading it.

i guess it's because the girl was telling the story in a comical way, but it just makes me more sad that she saw all this heinous stuff, and to her it's just some funny story to tell.

 

[Angelus Errare]

I think you'l find mostly Jarretts on GAF

 

[xenist]

The moral of the story is that the night isn't for soft people.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Angelus fucking taking this thread for a ride

Keep on keeping on

 

[User 73706]

I once saw a stripper put a lolipop in her vagina and then stick it in a guys mouth.

I remember the days when you could watch HBO through those fuzzy higher channels, too. Good times.

 

[Rewrite]

I read the whole fucking thing. Wow. :lol

 

[Schlookum]

I remember the days when you could watch HBO through those fuzzy higher channels, too. Good times.

You couldn't tell if you were looking at a boob or an elbow, and it didn't matter.

 

[Crud]

I think you'll find mostly Jarretts on GAF

O_O

 

[Alex_Mexico]

How can you guys read that and understand it? I really gave it a try and got more than halfway through but my head started to hurt. Maybe it's because English is not my native tongue but this should be an example of why you do not tell long stories in tweets. That's not how it works.

I quit. I couldn't understand it fully and I think a couple hundred thousand brain cells commuted suicide while I tried to read it.

 

[User 73706]

How can you guys read that and understand it? I really have it a try and got more than halfway through but my head started to hurt. Maybe it's because English is not my native tongue but this should be an example of why you do not tell long stories in tweets. That's not how it works.

I quit. I couldn't understand it fully and I think a couple hundred thousand brain cells commuted suicide while I tried to read it.

mj.coliente

 

[Apt101]

Well, she's certainly proud of the person she is. This could be crafted into a good dark humor film.

I had an ex who worked at Hooters for a while in college. Some of her stories man. There's definitely a lot of girls like that working there. It was almost always the ones who came off as real sweethearts who led the most depraved lifestyles, too, which I always found funny.

 

[Veal]

How can you guys read that and understand it? I really have it a try and got more than halfway through but my head started to hurt. Maybe it's because English is not my native tongue but this should be an example of why you do not tell long stories in tweets. That's not how it works.

I quit. I couldn't understand it fully and I think a couple hundred thousand brain cells commuted suicide while I tried to read it.

WTF BITCH NOT AGAIN NO

 

[Alex_Mexico]

Could someone point me in the direction to a post that summarized the story? I wanna know but I don't feel like combing 30 pages worth of posts to find it.

 

[The Silver]

Could someone point me in the direction to a post that summarized the story? I wanna know but I don't feel like combing 30 pages worth of posts to find it.

Got you fam, just for you.

For those who are insistent that they can't understand the story and the words don't make sense of them.

I wrote it in a way that you can instantly understand. So you too can laugh and stop embarrassing yourself in this thread.

Forbidden Love pt 1.
Mangaka - Zola R. Moon
Translations by k4w411_Kurojin

So Zola-chan met this baka-gaijin Jess at Hooters, Zola-chan was Jess-chan's cafe maid she was so kawaii, totemo kawaii. Jess-chan came in their with her onii-chan black man. Zola-chan being a cafe maid sat down with Jess-chan and her onii-chan and they started talking. Apparently Jess-chan's onii-chan gives her kane (translator's note: money). They were bonding and becoming tomodachis (friends). They exchange numbers feeling like their meeting was destiny and continue talking for quite some time.

The next day, Jess-chan sends Zola-chan a message saying "Onee-san! Let's got to Florida!! :3", She tells Zola-chan she wants to dance in Florida, and Zola-chan is like "hai!!" Zola-chan's waifu didn't want her to go, so she had the sex with him (translator's note: sex) then left with Jess-chan to Florida.

Zola-chan gets in the car and meets another one of Jess-chan's onii-chans, they are blackman2-chan, and Jarret-chan. Jarret-chan and Jess-chan are in love love (translator's note: in love) and blackman2-chan just lives with them. They get to the motel and Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that this room is for Jarret-chan and then they head off for the club (translator's note: A place were people dance and watch others dance, totemo ecchi).

Zola-chan dances at the club and makes 930,000 Yen. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that blackman2-chan was her pimp, unfortunately Jarrett-chan didn't know this (strike 1). Blackman2-chan comes up and he's like "how much did you girls make me? :3" and they tell him nothing (usotsuki!). He is pretty sad because his real waifu also had a bad night. Because they had a bad night he asks if they want to trap (translator's note: He means do they want sex older gentlemen for kane like schoolgirls!). Jess-chan is like "hai!!!"

They pull up to a different hotel and Jess-chan and Zola-chan start arguing. Zola-chan doesn't trap she is just a stripper so she yells at poor Jess-chan like a baka. Jess-chan starts crying saying she's scared and doesn't want Zola-chan to leave her all alone. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that she can just check the guys, she doesn't have to trap (translator's note: have sex with men for money). Zola-chan decides to stay and protect Jess-chan!

First guy knocks at the door and he's an older uaito piggu and says he's here for Jess-chan, Jess-chan and uaito piggu have sex. Zola-chan is shocked! @_@ because Jess-chan says she that her price for sex is only 110,000 Yen! Zola-chan decided to help Jess-chan make more kane by putting her profile on an ecchi site setting the price at 650,000 Yen minimum!

Jess-chan is bukakke'ed by 20 guys and makes 5,550,000Yen (sugoi!). Jarrett-chan calls asking where Zola-chan and Jess-chan are, they usotsuki (translator's note: lie) and say they went to another maid cafe. He doesn't believe her and tells Zola-chan to not be a baka slut like Jess-chan.

A few hours later blackman2-chan comes and he asks how much Jess-chan made, she told him the truth (5,550,000 yen). He's shocked and goes "sugoi!!" dou yatte?!" and she's like Zola-chan helped me! :3. He takes the money from Jess-chan and gives Zola-chan 500,000 yen. He doesn't give Jess-chan any because she hasn't paid her rent in months T_T.

They all leave to go back to Jarrett's hotel and he's downstairs smoking weed with a random Florida-san. Blackman2-chan asks who that guy is and Jarret-chan is like "He just wanted to know who I was here with, it's okay" Florida-san says goodbye and leaves. They all go to the room and Blackman2-chan is really mad. He yells saying that Jarret-chan didn't know Florida-san that well and he shouldn't have told him that there were 2 bishoujous here. Jarret-chan explains why he said that and Blackman2-chan goes "we have to go now! They know there's money here!"

They go to a nicer love love hotel and he asks Zola-chan to keep an eye on Jarret-chan.
Jarret-chan and Jess-chan start arguing about Jess-chan trapping. He starts crying and he's like Zola-chan is this why you came to FL? Zola-chan goes "No, I didn't even know I was set up!" Jarret-chan is shocked and calls Jess-chan a hoe! (translator's note: baishunpu). Zola-chan leaves and goes for a swim in the love love hotel pool.

Blackman2-chan calls Zola-chan and tells her to setup the calls for Jess-chan again and Zola-chan says okay. She goes up to the room and tells Jess-chan to get ready, Jarret-chan gets really upset and starts punching himself! He tells Jess-chan if she does this again he will kill himself because he really loves her! Uguuu!

Jarret-chan yells that everyone knows Jess-chan is a baishunpu now and that he wants to go home. He throws his keitai at her (translator's note: phone). It has her facebook status showing both her love love ads! Jess-chan starts crying! T_T now everyone knows she's a baishunpu! Jess-chan calls blackman2-chan and 5 minutes later (instant transmission) he knocks on the door bringing his waifu with him.

Blackman2-chan is very upset, totemo upset and lifts Jarret-chan off the ground. Jarret-chan starts crying and apologizing going "sumimasen, gomennasai! blackman-chan!" Blackman2-chan's waifu pulls out a gun (Translator's note: a baka American weapon, not as elegant as a Japanese Katana (katana means sword)), she tells Z-san (blackman2-chan) to kill Jarret-chan, but Jess-chan says no.

Z-san doesn't kill him, but says he's going to kill his manhood and tells Jarret-chan to sit in front of him. He tells Jarret-chan to delete the post (and he does) then calls Jess-chan over. Z-san's waifu unbuckles his pants, then Jess-chan starts sucking his o-chinchin! Then he starts doing doggystyle on Jess-chan with Jarret-chan watching.

 

[Crud]

OMFG LMAO

 

[Psyren]

And here i was planning to leave for work a good bit earlier than normal... Saw this thread... Well there went my morning plan... Goodlawd...

 

[Trident]

How slowly do you people read? Jesus Christ.

 

[Dai101]

How can you guys read that and understand it? I really gave it a try and got more than halfway through but my head started to hurt. Maybe it's because English is not my native tongue but this should be an example of why you do not tell long stories in tweets. That's not how it works.

I quit. I couldn't understand it fully and I think a couple hundred thousand brain cells commuted suicide while I tried to read it.

El ingles tampoco es mi lengua materna y lo comprendi todo.

 

[Hylian7]

....There's no way this story is real...Holy shit...

That anime edition is fucking hilarious though.

 

[Japanmanx3]

Could someone point me in the direction to a post that summarized the story? I wanna know but I don't feel like combing 30 pages worth of posts to find it.

Got you fam, just for you.

I got him on the re-up for part duece breh!

Forbidden Love Pt 2.
Mangaka: Zola R. Moon
Translator: K4w411_kurojin

After Z-san has finished, he tells Jess-chan to go get cleaned up. Z-chan and his waifu leave and the room is quiet for the next 30 minutes. Z-san messages Zola-chan and tells her that he's trusting her with Jess-chan. So they go to 4 oppas and let Jess-chan work. They're about to go back to the hotel and Zola-chan gets a message saying they're willing to pay 5,500,000Yen for 2 girls, Zola-chan tells the oppa there is only one girl, so they drop the price to 2,000,000 Yen and note that they have 4 bishounen. He gives Zola-chan the address and they go there.

They get to the room number and Jess-chan knocks on the door, they ask who it is and Jess chan says "In call". They open the door super fast and grab Jess-chan! Zola-chan takes off running! She ran so fast she couldn't see straight but kept on running. She runs out and the car is gone! So Zola-chan starts screaming Jarret! Jarret!

Zola-chan continues to run as she calls Jarret-chan, he asks are the girls done and she goes "BAKA! Z-SAN TOLD YOU TO NEVER LEAVE US!!!" Zola-chan is STILL running and tells Jarret-chan to come get her because they took Jess-chan! She calls Z-san and he's totemo super upset! >_<

Z-san pulls up and they all go upstairs, Zola-chan didn't want to, but Z-san was really upset and yelled at her so she and Jarret-chan went with Z-san. Z-san knocks on the door and demands for Jess-chan back. They hear Jess-chan scream then the door opens....it's Florida-san from earlier!!!!!!1

He lets Z-san inside and Z-san sits on the bed with his strap (translator's note: gun) out asking where is Jess-chan. Z-san kicks down the closet door and finds Jess-chan unconscious. Florida-san says he'll pay Z-san 20,000,000 yen for Jess-chan! @_@.

Z-san refuses and Florida-san threatens Z-san saying he can't just walk out the place. Zola-chan can barely see anything but all of a sudden hears a gun go off (translator's note: the gun fired). Everyone runs! Z-san is carrying Jess-chan and they hop in the car.
Zola-chan starts crying asking what happened. Z-san says Florida-man reached for his piece (translator's note: gun) so he shot him in the face! O_O.

They go to Z-san's apatto and Jess-chan wakes up and Zola-chan explains what happens. At this point Zola-chan wants to go home. Z-san goes to get rid of the gun. Z-san wants Jess-chan to trap still and Jarret-san starts punching himself again and starts crying.

Zola-chan is at the door ready to go, then suddenly Jarret-san stops crying. Jarret-chan runs towards the balcony and jumps! Thankfully he doesn't fall because his pants are stuck! Zola-chan calls Z-chan crying about Jarret, Z-san slaps Jarret-chan then puts him in the car. Jess-chan starts to cry and confide in Zola-chan saying she never intended for Zola-chan to trap that's why she didn't, and hope they can be tomodachis =_=.

They get back to Detroit and Zola-chan's waifu picks her up and takes her home.

4 days later Zola-chan gets a collect call from Jess-chan. She got arrested for trapping in Las Vegas. Z-san was wanted for kidnapping 15 underage girls (Baka American police, they're 1,000 year old demons!) and murder. Zola-chan tells her she has the wrong number, and Jess-chan yells "Tell Jarret-oppa to bail me out!".

Z-san got a life sentence in prison, and Jess-chan is back in Detroit with her Okaa-san and baby.

&#32066;&#12431;&#12426;&#12290;

 

[uncelestial]

Fuck anyone complaining about how it was written. It wouldn't be the same without amazing turns of phrase like "vibing over our hoeism"

 

[Crud]

Fuck anyone complaining about how it was written. It wouldn't be the same without amazing turns of phrase like "vibing over our hoeism"

They understand just fine. They just want to belittle people. Sad really.

 

[Alex_Mexico]

Got you fam, just for you.

And I appreciate it, man. I now realize i was indeed getting the just of the story, it was just that the slang, grammar and all around writing style gave me a headache.

The anime version is the definitive one, I'd say.



So just to clarify: all this time Z was just Blackman2-chan?

 

[daycru]

I am fluent in stripper.

 

[Alex_Mexico]

Fuck anyone complaining about how it was written. It wouldn't be the same without amazing turns of phrase like "vibing over our hoeism"

Well get off your high horse. I speak two languages, English is not the one I was born with and yet I've lived in Mexico all my life. Forgive me when I say I literally cannot understand that goddamn line (and many others in the story where some I could decipher by context and others not so much).

Is it too difficult for some of you to understand how challenging it can be to comprehend this writing style filled with slang?

The anime one did the trick for me, though.

 

[The Adder]

This is the post that kills me

Words that kill...

 

[itwasTuesday]

just finished reading. Is this how spring breakers 2 gets funded.

 

[hunnies28]

Alex, mejora tu inglés por favor.

 

[Alex_Mexico]

Alex, mejora tu inglés por favor.

Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como [REDACTED].

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.

 

[StayDead]

This story is so fucked up. Why would Jarret have done that to Jess in the first place?

If this story is real it just goes to show how messed up life is for some people. I'm so thankful I was born into a middlish claas family in the south east of the UK.

 

[Rezbit]

That's crazy and fucked up and wow.

 

[Palette Swap]

Finally read it. She's an incredible storyteller. I didn't know there existed a scenario in which emojis could enhance the storytelling, but this is it.

I'm laughing my ass off at Angelus Errare's transcript.

 

[Spinluck]

Damn, how you gonna make homeboy watch his girl suck dick. Damn, savage.

Anyway, sounds like something that would happen here in FL.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Just finished it, wow.....

 

[AcridMeat]

I often think my life is pretty boring. It's times like these that I remember that's a good thing.

Goddamn, what a crazy-ass story. Fuck Tarantino, get Takashi Miike on this shit.

If you want to turn dark comedy into psychological damage maybe.

Spoiler

I like Takashi Miike.

 

[uncelestial]

Well get off your high horse. I speak two languages, English is not the one I was born with and yet I've lived in Mexico all my life. Forgive me when I say I literally cannot understand that goddamn line (and many others in the story where some I could decipher by context and others not so much).

Is it too difficult for some of you to understand how challenging it can be to comprehend this writing style filled with slang?

Is it too difficult to understand that that isn't anybody's problem but your own? Should we rewrite The Color Purple to be in contemporary midwestern-vernacular white proper English? Isn't it possible that a storyteller's vernacular adds a lot of flavor to how their stories are told? I could tell the cowboy in Big Lebowski to knock off the colloquialisms too, or you could be like me and spend 10 seconds online finding helpful things like this:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vibing&defid=1987827
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hoeism

 

[Net_Wrecker]

Just read the story and every post in this thread. Amazing. The story, the lowkey racist and/or snobby "Translate pls" posts, the "why are people laughing" posts, the Angelus Errare anime adaption

Thread of The Year candidate. It's like GAF's Spike Lee joint.

Special shoutout to the "b" discussion earlier in the thread too. Hilarious.

 

[Alex_Mexico]

Is it too difficult to understand that that isn't anybody's problem but your own? Should we rewrite The Color Purple to be in contemporary midwestern-vernacular white proper English? Isn't it possible that a storyteller's vernacular adds a lot of flavor to how their stories are told? I could tell the cowboy in Big Lebowski to knock off the colloquialisms too, or you could be like me and spend 10 seconds online finding helpful things like this:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vibing&defid=1987827
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hoeism

Don't put word in my mouth I didn't say.

It is my problem, not anyone else's. However I am free to expose my opinions and that was that I didn't like how it was written.

A couple of Gaffers were kind enough to direct me to a "translation" and I am thankful for that.

Now you can continue on with your life. Me not understanding this shouldn't have taken time from your day.

 

[Mista Koo]

Edit: I think the Twitter format kills it more for me, a bad means of long form communication.

Really its the twitter formatting. Its like reading a story with a bunch of "...." after every two sentences. If someone typed out War and Peace in 144 character tweets I would say it was hard to read.

Here is the story in paragraphs [NSFW images included].

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

I got a Spring Breakers vibe from the story, it, but with more black people in it.

And believe it or not it was a lot more interesting and more coherent than Spring Breakers.

Yes coherent, even if it was told in ebonics and at 140 characters at a time.

 

[Pepto]

Is it too difficult to understand that that isn't anybody's problem but your own? Should we rewrite The Color Purple to be in contemporary midwestern-vernacular white proper English? Isn't it possible that a storyteller's vernacular adds a lot of flavor to how their stories are told? I could tell the cowboy in Big Lebowski to knock off the colloquialisms too, or you could be like me and spend 10 seconds online finding helpful things like this:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vibing&defid=1987827
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hoeism

Does it really matter that some anime lover on a video game forum doesn't understand urban slang?

 

[Japanmanx3]

Just read the story and every post in this thread. Amazing. The story, the lowkey racist and/or snobby "Translate pls" posts, the "why are people laughing" posts, the Angelus Errare anime adaption

Thread of The Year candidate. It's like GAF's Spike Lee joint.

Special shoutout to the "b" discussion earlier in the thread too. Hilarious.

Happy to be of service breh lol

 

[Ganhyun]

Does it really matter that some anime lover on a video game forum doesn't understand urban slang?

its obviously serious business man.

 

[Future]

You would think with such a large amount of people clearly reading it and understanding it you wouldn't get the proud few claiming they lost brain cells or couldn't make it through. The story was awesomely told which is WHY it's blowing up. The story itself was actually pretty dark and fucked up. It's because of the Twitter division (adding suspense like turning a comic book page) and slang that makes it memorable

The people insinuating that they are too smart to make it through.... It's actually the exact opposite