Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como puta de calle.

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.

Wow, you're so nice. How come you're still around?
 
Yeah that's not a good look. It doesn't translate well at all compay.

#teamfiction

Just so that it can get the Trapped in the Closet treatment.
We're still debating who should sing Trapped in Tampa.

Trapped in Tampa
The title alone is at least three stupid jokes deep. The rest writes itself.
 
are people here spanish speakers or used google translate to understand what the guy with the TOEFL said?

It was funny to see him writing in spanish just to reminds us that he had a TOEFL but is even funnier to see people quoting him on english
 
Some spanish and some google.
Can't really write anything on the internet and think no one will understand your bullshit.
 
are people here spanish speakers or used google translate to understand what the guy with the TOEFL said?

It was funny to see him writing in spanish just to reminds us that he had a TOEFL but is even funnier to see people quoting him on english

Can't speak for others but I'm around conversational level in Spanish. I responded in English because I think writing shit you wouldn't dare say in English is a bitch move.
 
I think that's too obscure... but if we do Kryptonian and Klingon and Elvish and Angelus' weeabo translation and inscribe them all on massive stone tablets with the original story then maybe future generations of nerds will be able to understand AAVE after society collapses.

A "hoeseta stone" if you will.

Oh my god now I want to write a Tolkien version with Quenya.
 
Crazy story(true or not). The dialect makes it pretty challenging at times so I do think I missed some things here and there and the entire twitter format sucks.

Wish there was like a one page, re-organized version of the story without all the twitter breaks.
 
good thread, gooood thread

prettieeeee

prettieeeee

prettygood

7Dc5l0k.gif


literally gets me every time
 
This is the thing.

This is the one thing I can't reconcile.

We know at least some of it really happened, though, so presumably that's just embellishment.

My one thought on this possibly being plausible, is if he had to climb over a railing or wall to jump off the balcony. If it was anything above waist high, having to mantle over it to "jump off" would highly increase your odds of getting your pants or belt stuck on something.
 
My one thought on this possibly being plausible, is if he had to climb over a railing or wall to jump off the balcony. If it was anything above waist high, having to mantle over it to "jump off" would highly increase your odds of getting your pants or belt stuck on something.

Still doesn't add up, though, does it :/

The only time I've ever known this to happen IRL is on the pointed fences in many UK cities (esp. bigger Victorian ones). All the fences are made of like metal spears standing on their ends, so people vaulting them (like idiots usually) often get their clothes or bodies impaled.

But a motel railing/hotel balcony... There's nothing there to get caught on
 
You guys have no idea what the balcony looks like, or what kind of pants he was wearing, or any details beyond literally "dude got his pants caught on the balcony"

You can't draw any conclusions on that little information
 
You guys have no idea what the balcony looks like, or what kind of pants he was wearing, or any details beyond literally "dude got his pants caught on the balcony"

You can't draw any conclusions on that little information

But it's such an absurd premise, regardless of the context. A pair of pants can't suspend an entire human body. Unless the pants are properly hooked on something while still belted on to the person's waist.

PS We're not "drawing any conclusions", just discussing it as arguably the most tenuous thing in the whole narrative.
 
I never thought it anything more than an exaggerated story with perhaps some truth. It was still entertaining as hell. She's like a female General Millz, except it's other peoples taking L's.

For those unfamiliar with General Millz, if you enjoyed this story you'll probably enjoy his. Do a google and prepare for hours of laughs over one man's many misfortunes.
 
This was amazing even if it's not true.

I never thought it anything more than an exaggerated story with perhaps some truth. It was still entertaining as hell. She's like a female General Millz, except it's other peoples taking L's.

It is absolutely these things.

Still worth discussing the validity of. We know a couple of things are true.

What a work of literature. Essays will be written about this shit.
 
I feel sorry for your inability to pick up context clues. It must be tough reading books where different characters speak in different dialects.
Lots of people didn't like the DQIV DS remake because of that. But I agree with you, those people are horrible.
 
She doesn't tell a story as well as Zola does though.

it's like the disappointing-yet-still-enjoyable sequel to the classic original, which lays on the plot too thick with none of the finesse but is still compelling

i'm not aiming to diminish the horror of what these people are talking about, btw.
 
Hmmmmm I dunno man I read all of it does not seem as legit as Zolas side of the story yet.

IDK, there are some still fully gold moments which are so believable

Her Mom [was sitting on the porch, and] kept saying, "That don't look like Berniece!" and shouting "BERNIE?" as Zola comes running to the damn car. We're like UUUH???

Someone could have just made a fake account for Jess.

easily

but why not indulge?

Wait who is Xavier? Is that Z possibly and Zola just misunderstood the name and thought it was spelled with a Z? Xavier would be pronounced like a Z sound.

goddamn...

edit: but didn't Zola say that Jess kept referring to him as Z? either that or Zola just covered his name up and misspelt it
 
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