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[canoli2006]

http://whiskeygoldmine.com/beer-reviews-best-beers-beer-forum/10-worst-marketing-gimmicks-beer-histroy-miller-lite-coors-light-budweiser-bud-light-molson/

1. The Miller Lite “Vortex” Bottle

Especially with wine and spirits, introducing oxygen into the drink brings out more flavor so the idea here is the same with the beer by funneling through the bottleneck. (It’s Miller Lite; not a fine Bourdeaux.)


2. The Coors Lite “Vented Wide Mouth Can”

The wide mouth of the can accompanied by small indendation in the upper right hand corner of the mouth is supposed allow more oxygen in to “heighten” the flavor of your Coors Light. Engineering at its finest, (I’m suprised we haven’t been able to land on Mars as of yet.)


3. The Keystone Light “Specially Lined Can”

The inside of the “Special” can has a thin plastic coating to protect the beer interacting with the aluminum to protect the flavor of the beer. (Does anyone notice any problem with that statement?)


4. Molson M “Microcarbonated Beer”

According to Karine Brunelle, brewer with Molson Coors, “The injection of smaller CO2 bubbles makes it possible to preserve not only the taste of the hops but also the delicate flavours generated by the yeast during fermentation.” Also, according to Molson the smaller CO2 bubbles won’t make chicks as bloated drinking their beer. (First of all, I haven’t been able to taste a hop in any Molsen-Coors product in decades, furthermore, until I see the science this gimmick is just as just as worthwhile as the others.

5. Coors Light “2 Stage Cold Activation”

Coors has dawned upon us the marvels of science and wizardry with the “2 stage cold activation” labels. I cannot believe we have gone decades of refrigeration without being able to tell when are beer is cold. And for crying out loud, its not like we’re drinking a Belguim Trappist ale here where we need to be slightly under room temperature.


6. Miller Lite “Taste Protector Lid”

First Miller Lite wants more air in, next they want to keep air out. Nobody… I mean nobody (except the billions of people who mysteriously drink miller lite) wants that taste protected. If anything, if the taste goes unprotected when I drink Miller Lite, I’ll take my chances.


7. Bud Light “Etch-It” Bottle

If you need to warn everyone not to drink this by drawing a Skull & Crossbones on your bottle, then perhaps this is a good idea. Otherwise, don’t worry, if you drink the warm one with a cigarette put out inside, then you might have just done better.

8. Stella Artois “Chalice Can”

Because there is a picture of Stella Artois’ signature chalice glass painted on the side of my aluminum can me think that I am not drinking Belgium Bud out of a can?

9. Budweiser “Flavor Lock Crown”

Special cap that apparently locks the flavor out

10. Labatt’s Ice

Fractional freezing can be used as a simple method to increase the alcohol concentration in beer a process sometimes called freeze distillation. Freeze distillation of alcoholic beverages is illegal in many countries, as it can concentrate poisonous compounds, for example fusel alcohols, in the original fermented beverage to unhealthy levels. Perhaps that brain damage ice beer drinkers suffered as a result of fractional freezing would sway someone to purchase Vortex bottles. By the way freeze distillation has nothing to do with how cold your beer is by the way.

 

[Kwhit10]

The tasting like water gimmick is pretty bad too.

 

[Yaboosh]

Dumbass list.

Number 6 especially shouldn't be on there.

Horrible writer that shouldn't write about beer anymore.

 

[Vyse The Legend]

Do you write for that website or something? This seems like a clickbait thread.

 

[Xzeon]

what was the one that had an extra tiny hole on the top of the can that you had to poke open with random household objects.

that one was really fucking dumb.

 

[Veitsev]

Do you write for that website or something? This seems like a clickbait thread.

If it was clickbait the link would probably work.

 

[DietRob]

Oh, so a beer snob list.

 

[rozay]

If it was clickbait the link would probably work.

lol

most of these are bad but at least we can all agree on #3 right?

 

[Yaboosh]

Oh, so a beer snob list.

No, a dumbass list. I guess a dumbass beer snob might write a list like this, but not one who knows what he is talking about.

 

[iammeiam]

Looked up the original article to see if there were embedded images that would make it less dumb.

There weren't.

I'm all for calling out stupid gimmicks, and things like the "is my beer cold?" indicator seem pretty damned silly, but about half the list is just bitching about the actual product, not so much the gimmick.

Disappointing.

 

[Curtisaur]

Beer hipsters are the worst hipsters.

 

[ggnoobIGN]

These things are all awful but beer snobs are the worst thing on earth.

 

[MorisUkunRasik]

I'm not much of a beer drinker, but Bud and all its variations are pretty terrible.

 

[Veitsev]

Beer hipsters are the worst hipsters.

All beers should be dark and bitter as fuck IPA's apparently or they aren't real beers. Bonus points if its a foreign beer or from some small brewery.

 

[AtomskEater]

lol

most of these are bad but at least we can all agree on #3 right?

Maybe it's because I don't drink beer, but it's puzzling me what's wrong with #3.

 

[Bread]

I don't think that's what 2 was made for...the beer comes out much smoother because of the air. Same with the pop top cans, they work (but you can do that on any can with the thing on most bottle openers).

 

[Fox Mulder]

Maybe it's because I don't drink beer, but it's puzzling me what's wrong with #3.

the joke is how they put effort into protecting the flavor of keystone beer.

These cans are gimmicks, but the article just wants to trash on shitty cheap beer.

 

[Malvolio]

The best way to insult crappy beer is to drink good beer.

 

[Femmeworth]

I'm shocked, this isn't a Cracked thread.

 

[giri]

Looked up the original article to see if there were embedded images that would make it less dumb.

There weren't.

I'm all for calling out stupid gimmicks, and things like the "is my beer cold?" indicator seem pretty damned silly, but about half the list is just bitching about the actual product, not so much the gimmick.

Disappointing.

This for the most part.

Then the writer/website owner attacks people who commented at the end of it.

Classy.