For the sake of diversity, I have decided to play every character online in 1v1 For Glory mode all against different people. I will just go in order. Will I go 0-48? Stay tuned.
FORKSMASH (I'm the first character listed)
Mario vs. Little Mac
Mario is much improved compared to previous iterations. Sadly, I am not. I've never lost to a Little Mac in 1v1, so my dignity is on the line. He was more cautious than others I've face off against, and did a great job not whiffing his attacks while I whiffed nearly all my smashes. I JUST KEEP MISSING WHY MARIO WHERE'S YOUR TORNADO? Winner: Little Mac
Luigi vs. Sheik
Luigi was my main in Brawl and I've used him a lot in SSB4 so I can't choke here. Sheik is a fierce opponent though, mostly used by the tryhardest of tryhards who have a poster of M2K somewhere in their room. The match started with some projectile spam as I inch closer to get in some real offense. Sheik completely whiffed her down special and went flying off the map. I chased to get a kick or two in and manage to get a KO early in the match when I'm only about 7%. When she respawned, we poked at each other until she realized that life is futile and then jumped off the map. Winner: Luigi
Peach vs. Mario
The match started off him deflecting my turnip back at me. Awesome. I actually manage to rack up a pseudo-combo and get him up to 40% pretty quickly. He continued to deflect my turnips. How about my side special? YOU CAN'T DEFLECT MY ASS. Apparently you can and I almost died from it. I almost take a life until he fucking WALLJUMPS to save his life. He kills me after doing his stupid sliding kick a thousand times. It's ok, he's about 120%. I proceed to let him wallop me until he murders me with a meteor smash before I can even have a chance to say "well at least I killed him once." Winner: Mario
Bowser vs. Yoshi
Battle of the butt slams. Bowser is someone who everyone says is incredible in this game, but I'm awful with him. Surprise, he did his egg roll move right at the start. If Bowser can just get a hit in, it's worth three Yoshi strikes. We also traded butt slams with varying success. We both get up to 100% and I KO him with an up tilt. That's right an UP TILT. Bowser can just lazily slap his claw at you and it's over. I bamboozle my advantage and he kills me with 0%. So it's another even stock battle. The butt barrage continues near the edge, but I managed to get a quick attack in and it messed up his positioning and he butt slamed off the stage and to his death. What's with people hurling themselves off the map? Winner: Bowser
Yoshi vs. Bowser
MIRROR MATCH. He went butt slam crazy and while he got in a few good ones, I decided to just punish each one with Yoshi's powerful running kick. When facing Bowser, you need to get in so many attacks just to make up for ONE of his. He managed to eventually KO me with a down air. He skirted around, trying not to throw away his advantage, but I swallowed him up and taunted as my egg fell of the stage. Eerily like the last match, we faced off with one stock and 0% each. I did okay, but each attack from Bowser was punishing and he anticlimatically killed me with a random air strike. BOWSER NERF PLS. Winner: Bowser
Rosalina vs. Mario
Fuck you Rosalina. Winner: Mario
Bowser Jr. vs. Kirby
Finally, an adorable match. And yes, I picked Bowser Jr. and not those wannabe Koopalings. Both fighters are very versatile, but Kirby doesn't have the projectile advantage. I tried to set up a trap where i sent one of the robots out, and then charge my cannon. Obviously he would just wait to try to dodge the cannon or rush me to get me to prematurely fire it, but the robot would sneak up on him eventually and help set up my attacks. I managed to get the first KO after dropping my clown car on him and then hitting him with a down aerial. Did you know Bowser Jr. is crazy powerful in the air without his car? Well, he is. Kirby evened it up, but I had Kirby on the ropes and finish him off with a classic side Smash. Winner: Bowser Jr.
Wario vs. Donkey Kong
I don't think I've ever seen a DK online 1v1. Little did I know a feature length battle awaited. I tried to spam my bike, which worked at the beginning, but DK wised up and had some good counters to it. He was also trying to desperately set up a meteor smash. It's a bit scary to be off the stage when the dong is expanding. He manages to slap the shit out of me for the KO, and then takes me up to 60% before I kill him with a fart. He pummeled me a bit more, and I was at about 130% when he was at 30%. I had to play cautiously as pretty much any attack would seal the victory for DK. I actually staged a bit of a comeback and got him up to 90%. All fell to ruin as I tried my bike again. How do I get off this thing again? STOP TAUNTING WARIO. I screw up my position badly and he pounds me into the ground and slaps me off for the win. Winner: Donkey Kong
Mr. Game and Watch vs. Peach
Surely I can collect Peach's turnips, thus nullfiying one of her major moves? No, no I cannot. This Peach was good. Damn good. She knew exactly when I was going to initiate my running attack and dodged my smashes and aerials with ease. Where was this shit when I was playing Peach? She toyed with me like a dog with a bone and mercifully finishes me off. I pray to god I can just get a Smash attack in and even it up... when I am at 145%. HERE COMES THE COMEBACK. Or not. At least I made her get me up to 197% before my soul was crushed. Winner: Peach
Forksmash record: 3-6. Some frustrating matches, but the Wario and Bowser Jr. ones were quite fun and even. Next up, the Zelda row.