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[Giallo Corsa]

I love Brits.

There's just no better slang in the whole wide world

 

[RagnarokIV]

Alright I’m alive again.

First off, I’d like to clarify that I’m not a crack head, guys. I’m also not a broke peasant (hence being able to buy the monitor).

I’ve always had normal electric. I never knew about this shit system because I’m not addicted to smoking crack, which is why I was so pissed about it. It feels like some reality TV show where I have to live like a hobo for a month to provide entertainment to someone. Well I hope you enjoyed your viewing, you sick monster.

Anyway, we’ve bought and moved into a small cottage in a quiet area. The place used to be rented out because the original owner died or some shit and I guess the kids rented it out. That’s where the druggy electric comes in.

You can’t just buy your USB electric from a normal supermarket or upper class store - you specifically HAVE to go to a shitty store because the supermarkets and stores can’t do it.

The technician was there to take away the shit electric system and give me “smart meter” so now I’m all good guys - there is no more trace of poor person in the home.

MOVING ON -

We want the new home to be a bit more minimalist. So no tacky consoles in the living room. That means my LG C1 is movies only.

I can’t go back to LCD so I bought the ASUS OLED for the gaming room.

 

[HeisenbergFX4]

 

[RagnarokIV]

and to prove I’m not poor,

I now have GAF Gold! Courtesy of DaciaJC

Thank you so much! Not sure what I done but I appreciate it.

 

[ReBurn]

SHEEIIT MANG

I bought a house and moved in but we have a shitty “smack head lecky” meter.
This means to have electric, you take some fucken wooly woofter USB style key to your local store that’s crawling with the scum of the earth and ask for an electric top-up. A terrible routine.

I boughts me a house (don't have no wheels on it) but we have us a shitty "junkie electricity" meter.
This means to have EE-LEK-TRISITY, you have to take some fuckin' God dang USB style key to your local store that's covered in assholes and thieves an' ask for an EE-LEK-TRICK voucher. Shit's whack, yo.

-navigate through crack addicts, the stench of weed and 12 year old gangsters (who kit themselves out in waterproof winter clothing regardless of the season)

-I walks though them crack addicts, the smell of dank and 12 year old Lil' G's (who wear themselves them waterproofs clothing regardless of the time of year)

-enter the store
-I makes my entrance to the store

at this point the store assistant is usually shouting “oh ya fucken kunt you avn’t paid for that!” As an upstanding member of the community runs out of the store with a bottle of white label budget wine.

at this time, the assistant is usually saying "HEY ASSHOLE, YOU STEALIN' MA SHIT!" as a lil' G runs away with some cheap alkiehawl

“What can I for you love?” She says.

"How can I help you sir?" She says.

“Give us a tennuh on me smack ‘Ed lecky please love. And a bag on M&Ms while you’re at it darling”

"Give me 12 dollars of EE-LEK-TRISI-TEE PLEASE. An' a bag of candy while you're at it, slut"

Then they try to extract trivial gossip from you.
(They try to find out some of your personal business)

“You been livin here long? Ain’t seen you before hun?”
"You bin' here long, honey? Ain't seen you 'round here before"

-“No, I have ball bag cancer and will die soon so I can’t gossip”
-"No, I GOTS THE BALL CANCER AND I'M GONNA DIE!"

Anyway you get home, plug in your USB stick and you get some electric.


AS YOU CAN IMAGINE - I don’t like this.

So I request to switch to traditional electric where you pay monthly.

In between this I DROPPED $€£1400 reddies of a 42inch ROG OLED monitor.
the technician arrived this morning and installed my new electric system.

“Electric needs to be cut off for about 30 minutes mate, that alright?”
"I GOTS TA CUT YOUR POWER FOR HALF AN HOUR"

In the meantime I’m working on renovating the house.
(I'm fixing up my house)

30 mins later, his work is done and the electric comes back on. He’s leaving
“Nice one Rodney, oi oi”

"Nice! everything works the way it should!"

I carry on working for the rest of the day.

I just finished and wanted to play some games - oh my PS5 is on standby?? Ahh yes because the power came back to it.

Turn on my FUCKEN MONITOR HAS BURN IN OF MY FUCKEN PS5 HOME WCREEN YOU STUPID KUNT I AM FUCKEN GOING MAD
THE FUCKEN THING MUST HAVE BEEN ON FOR HOURS WHILE I WAS WOLRING

"Turn on my FUCKIN' MONITOR AND IT HAS BURN IN OF MY FUCKIN' PS5 HOME SCREEN YOU STUPID CUNT, I AM FUCKIN' GOING MAD, THE FUCKIN' THING MUST HAVE BEEN ON FOR HOURS WHEN I WAS WORKING!"

Does that help any?

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

We rely heavily on credit scores that determine your reputation with money. If you’re not big on paying your bills it becomes difficult to get a car loan, a mortgage, or a good apartment rental. If you’re great at being on-time you’ll get the best interest rates and high probability of loan approval.

For the people always living on the edge of financial ruin there are payment plans and collection agencies. You can get several months behind on basic utilities like electricity and usually work something out with the power company as necessary.

We don’t have those in the UK they try to make out you have one but it is just a fictional number Experian and the like make up - a lender here will never see your score.

I’ve seen people who have declared themselves bankrupt with 999 perfect scores on Experian. They are often surprised when they get turned down for finance of any sort and react like ‘but I have a perfect 999 score’

 

[LostDonkey]

In some towns you have to pay 10p to piss.

 

[Soodanim]

In some towns you have to pay 10p to piss.

I love needing a piss in Waterloo ❤

(Definitely more than 10p there)

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Well from OLED burn in to needing a piss in Waterloo. All in one thread.

Love GAF.

 

[Jack Package]

I was localising the text

 

[The Cockatrice]

Turn on my FUCKEN MONITOR HAS BURN IN OF MY FUCKEN PS5 HOME WCREEN YOU STUPID KUNT I AM FUCKEN GOING MAD
THE FUCKEN THING MUST HAVE BEEN ON FOR HOURS WHILE I WAS WOLRING

gaf told me oled burnin has very little chance of happening. Is op lying?

 

[jonnyp]

Nor will I, but that's mostly because reincarnation hasn't been invented

Uhm ok...

 

[Singular7]

The intentional destruction of a nation.

 

[Zelduh]

Oi mate, you got a loicense for that electric?

 

[hinch7]

Is OP high? Lol. Wtf did I just read..

 

[ahtlas7]

I’d never survive in the UK. I’ve no idea what the hell you just said and no way to learn to speak that english.

 

[Deleted member 1159]

My wife’s aunt walked away from her house during the 2008 financial crisis, so her credit was fucked for like 7+ years afterward and had to prepay for her phone and electric and such. I thought thought was hilarious for someone then making $200k/yr

 

[simpatico]

What hellish dystopia dispenses electricity in that way?

 

[HoofHearted]

 

[Hohenheim]

Wow. Is that Cuno from Disco Elysium making this thread?

 

[buenoblue]

When I was young and poor (and high as fuck) I had a grotty little flat with a prepayment meter. One night I was getting high with a mate (who later stabbed someone and ran off to Scotland) and my electric ran out. My mate said he could "wire it".

So he cut the cord off my toaster and proceeded to cut into the wire going into and out of the meter and and attached the toaster wire between them.

Bingo! Electric comes back on and we get back to playing Tekken on PS1.

About ten minutes later I'm like " what's that smell" I go into the hallway and the fucking meter and my door frame are on fire. And the wire is glowing bright fucking red like a heating coil .

Out of sheer panic my mate knocks the wire out with his bare hands, simultaneously burning his hand and electrocuting himself in the process .

I put the fire out with some glasses of water. I'm now without electricity with a vandalized burnt fucking electric meter.

So I report it and the guy comes round to fix it and asks what happened and I tell him I have no idea it just spontaneously combusted

Good times, good times

 

[HerjansEagleFeeder]

In Germany, people always tell me you have to learn British English, because American English apparently is just full of slang, weird idioms and general idiosyncratic word salad only digestible to native speakers.

Then I try to listen to an average "lads" lingo and I can't understand even a quarter of a single sentence. As if he was speaking Mandarin. I swear I could probably converse with a New York meth addict while he's high af but would be totally lost in a casual exchange with an educated, sober British fellow.

 

[Audiophile]

Take it out, put it back in again, free tenner bruv innit..

 

[Kings Field]

 

[TheRedRiders]

THIS IS WHY WE'RE THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!

 

[K2D]

Sounds like someone bought a qd-oled and possibly even a demoed unit..(?) Too baad

Try to bring it back perhaps?

 

[LavitzSlambert]

 

[RagnarokIV]

Guys.

I done the pixel cleaning 3 times and left the monitor off for the day.

Just had a quick look and I think it’s ok now. I will inspect the screen deeply tomorrow, but I think this is a case of image retention, rather than burn in.

Join me in prayer to our lord and savior jebus and/or mohammer. I’ll update you tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

 

[FunkMiller]

Alright I’m alive again.

First off, I’d like to clarify that I’m not a crack head, guys. I’m also not a broke peasant (hence being able to buy the monitor).

I’ve always had normal electric. I never knew about this shit system because I’m not addicted to smoking crack, which is why I was so pissed about it. It feels like some reality TV show where I have to live like a hobo for a month to provide entertainment to someone. Well I hope you enjoyed your viewing, you sick monster.

Anyway, we’ve bought and moved into a small cottage in a quiet area. The place used to be rented out because the original owner died or some shit and I guess the kids rented it out. That’s where the druggy electric comes in.

You can’t just buy your USB electric from a normal supermarket or upper class store - you specifically HAVE to go to a shitty store because the supermarkets and stores can’t do it.

The technician was there to take away the shit electric system and give me “smart meter” so now I’m all good guys - there is no more trace of poor person in the home.

MOVING ON -

We want the new home to be a bit more minimalist. So no tacky consoles in the living room. That means my LG C1 is movies only.

I can’t go back to LCD so I bought the ASUS OLED for the gaming room.

The prepay meter would have come up in your RICS homebuyers report.

….you did do a RICS homebuyers report, didn’t you? Because good luck with a place that’s been rented out previously if you didn’t.

Sorry dude, but kinda your fault if you bought a house and had no idea how your electricity was supplied before you moved in.

 

[10101]

OP spend less on monitors and move to a better location. Avoid council estates with corner shops and you’ll be off to a winning non crack head start. Worked wonders for me

My Dad is on those fucking key meters still (he does live on an estate mind you) and they are a pain in the arse. I did it for him a couple of weeks back when I was down for Xmas and had to press buttons! It was like a really bad Game & Watch where I had to guess either A or B to try and get it to register the gas. It eventually went on after some random presses but then I had to complete the boiler reset bonus game! I tried complaining to British Gas and gave them some hints as to how they could improve the playability, I gave it a low score, but I think it fell on deaf ears. I might try review bombing them next

 

[calistan]

I had one of those electricity meters when I was a student in the 90s, except it ran on paper tickets rather than a key. You'd buy tickets for a fiver each, put them in a slot in the meter, and it would make a grinding noise and spit out the ticket with a scratch across the magnetic strip on the back, so it couldn't be used again. We never figured out how to stop it making the scratch, although we tried many times.

Where I live now is a relatively wealthy town, the average house price is around £600K, but most corner shops and all post offices still offer top-ups for utility keys.

 

[AGRacing]

Wait... Some of you UK GAFfers have to go pre-pay for electricity like it's a fuckin' Tracfone wireless phone?

That is absolutely ludicrous and now I have an even better understanding of why people in the UK were bitching when their electricity bills skyrocketed.

They did it to themselves man.

 

[WitchHunter]

What hellish dystopia dispenses electricity in that way?

Mostly used in very poor areas.

 

[b0uncyfr0]

British culture - amazing.

Living in Britain - fuck no.

Leave OP.

 

[WitchHunter]

What the fuck stupid country is the UK?

I bought a house and moved in but we have a shitty “smack head lecky” meter.
This means to have electric, you take some fucken wooly woofter USB style key to your local store that’s crawling with the scum of the earth and ask for an electric top-up. A terrible routine.

-navigate through crack addicts, the stench of weed and 12 year old gangsters (who kit themselves out in waterproof winter clothing regardless of the season)

-enter the store

at this point the store assistant is usually shouting “oh ya fucken kunt you avn’t paid for that!” As an upstanding member of the community runs out of the store with a bottle of white label budget wine.

“What can I for you love?” She says.

“Give us a tennuh on me smack ‘Ed lecky please love. And a bag on M&Ms while you’re at it darling”

Then they try to extract trivial gossip from you.

“You been livin here long? Ain’t seen you before hun?”

-“No, I have ball bag cancer and will die soon so I can’t gossip”

Anyway you get home, plug in your USB stick and you get some electric.

AS YOU CAN IMAGINE - I don’t like this.

So I request to switch to traditional electric where you pay monthly.

In between this I DROPPED $€£1400 reddies of a 42inch ROG OLED monitor.
the technician arrived this morning and installed my new electric system.

“Electric needs to be cut off for about 30 minutes mate, that alright?”

In the meantime I’m working on renovating the house.

30 mins later, his work is done and the electric comes back on. He’s leaving
“Nice one Rodney, oi oi”

I carry on working for the rest of the day.

I just finished and wanted to play some games - oh my PS5 is on standby?? Ahh yes because the power came back to it.

Turn on my FUCKEN MONITOR HAS BURN IN OF MY FUCKEN PS5 HOME WCREEN YOU STUPID KUNT I AM FUCKEN GOING MAD
THE FUCKEN THING MUST HAVE BEEN ON FOR HOURS WHILE I WAS WOLRING

Your description of the area shows that people are not afraid to talk each other, even to strangers. And that's a very good sign of a healthy society. Stop complaining you dirty twat.

 

[Unknown Soldier]

But I was told OLED burn-in was a myth, or that maybe old ones had it but new ones don't!

I don't know how to translate this into chav, someone please assist

 

[FunkMiller]

British culture - amazing.

Living in Britain - fuck no.

Leave OP.

Living in Britain is fine as long as you're not poor. Don't be poor. If you're poor, leave Britain. Which you can't do because you're poor.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

Living in Britain is fine as long as you're not poor. Don't be poor. If you're poor, leave Britain. Which you can't do because you're poor.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

I think being poor in most other countries would be far worse than Britain. If you're poor here the Government can pay your rent for your home/apartment, you get a weekly living allowance, child allowance for each child, the government can pay most of the daycare costs from a certain age, I think about age 2-3, you get free healthcare and other schemes. Heck you have doctors here now who will literally prescribe you energy with heating allowance, yes heating if you can't afford to pay for the bills.

 

[Rendered Tangent]

Some people actually prefer the simplicity of a meter that they can monitor and know what they are using.

It helps with budgeting limited resources, at least that's the way it was explained to me once.

As for the "smack head leccy" stuff, I guess that makes the OP a smack head seeing as anyone with an electric key is some kind of sub human low life in their eyes.

I'd say his post borders on some kind of ugly stereotyping which would be unacceptable if aimed at other groups.

I don't know where he's from, but, perhaps, he could tell us so we can write a great illiterate rant about his homeland?

 

[Rendered Tangent]

Can someone please translate this to American? I'm having trouble following along.

Translating it into any language won't make it any less inane.

 

[Rendered Tangent]

Is this some bizarre alternate steampunk 1897 reality? You have to top up your house’s electricity in $10 increments with a special dongle from the corner store?

I think you need to try and use your brain.

Ask yourself, what possible reason is there for such a system?

Try it, you might surprise yourself.

 

[deriks]

Thats some journey right there, m8

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

I was going to say careful that's ban-worthy and in between me posting it happened.

 

[EviLore]

I think you need to try and use your brain.

Ask yourself, what possible reason is there for such a system?

Try it, you might surprise yourself.

Avatar quote

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Strange hill to die on to be fair.

 

[Majormaxxx]

Oi, quit yer whingin, mate. The UK is a proper country, I tells ya.

 

[FunkMiller]

Some people actually prefer the simplicity of a meter that they can monitor and know what they are using.

It helps with budgeting limited resources, at least that's the way it was explained to me once.

As for the "smack head leccy" stuff, I guess that makes the OP a smack head seeing as anyone with an electric key is some kind of sub human low life in their eyes.

I'd say his post borders on some kind of ugly stereotyping which would be unacceptable if aimed at other groups.

I don't know where he's from, but, perhaps, he could tell us so we can write a great illiterate rant about his homeland?

ChatGPT translation:

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

 

[Garibaldi]

Well at least it mostly worked out for you. Back to Waitrose for the weekly shop now.

We have a similar shop across the way where all the old pit houses are. It's like another country.

 

[Putonahappyface]

That genuinely hurt my head reading. Please don't use text message grammar or street retard language on a forum.

Thank you.

 

[RagnarokIV]

Some people actually prefer the simplicity of a meter that they can monitor and know what they are using.

It helps with budgeting limited resources, at least that's the way it was explained to me once.

As for the "smack head leccy" stuff, I guess that makes the OP a smack head seeing as anyone with an electric key is some kind of sub human low life in their eyes.

I'd say his post borders on some kind of ugly stereotyping which would be unacceptable if aimed at other groups.

I don't know where he's from, but, perhaps, he could tell us so we can write a great illiterate rant about his homeland?