thats not how a stan makes a post about their fave's holy birth date. Try again MR!
okay.
♚♔♚♔ HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR KELLEGEND CHRISTSON. ♚♔♚♔
Before Our Love, Kelly was nothing but a humble cocktail waitress/telemarketer/zookeeper/door-to-door saleswoman. But the Miss Independent would Never Again be conquered by a lifetime of menial jobs, because the cultural behemoth known as American Idol would soon allow her to Breakaway and become a bonafide superstar.
Although her debut album was riddled with leftover Mariah and Christina tracks, she managed to rise above and Walk Away from the boring balladry to bless us with one of the most
critically acclaimed and commercially successful pop albums of the last decade. Because of Her, we have witnessed some of the most
iconic and game-changing pop songs of the millennium being sung out effortlessly, slaying some of the more
basic bitches away One Minute after another.
While your faves were busy shaving their heads, developing dependencies on Xanax, and somehow managing to concentrate the effects of aging onto their arms, Kelly spent Her December
fighting with Whitney's music industry swami in order to deliver an album that fulfilled her artistic vision, all the while allowing us peons to catch a glimpse of the inner world Behind Her Hazel Eyes.
And although she
eventually made peace with her label just in time to proclaim her love for her fans, without whom Her Life Would Suck, she managed to retain the integrity and inherent Kelly charm of her previous records. While some other sluts are totally blunt about wanting their previous abusers to taste their cake, Kelly's sexcapades are more thoughtful, engaging, and Addictive- begging her
hot new boyfriend to use her Dark Side in a way that would make you thirstygayanallyloosewhores blush.
Praise be to this benevolent deity, Be Still my beating heart, for we truly are not worthy to gaze upon her countenance and be blessedt by a Moment Like This- a moment that has been shining on us for 10 years now.