Support NeoGAF

[mcjmetroid]

I say this to myself sometimes after finishing a movie.
Movie reviews are always opinion based but just for fun - is there any time you've thought to yourself: What were these critics on when they reviewed this shit?

If you've got a good one: Try and do it in the format below if possible:

• Movie poster
• Rottentomatoes screenshot or IMDB etc
• A positive quote from a review
• Your comment ont he movieI

I'll Start:

One Critic says:
"Vivarium is an ingenious, relentless sci-fi horror from Irish director Lorcan Finnegan and writer Garret Shanley."

I Say:
One of the worst movies I've ever seen. The Audience score in this one is absolutely correct. This one is available on Amazon and seems to show up in a lot of "best movies" lists. Don't waste your time.
I will say the look of the movie is great but almost everything else makes it for such an unpleasant viewing.
It reminds me of room 1408 but that's a lot better, watch that instead"

 

[Fbh]

I'll get it out of the way:

What critics say
Star Wars: The Last Jedi honors the saga's rich legacy while adding some surprising twists -- and delivering all the emotion-rich action fans could hope for

What I say:
It's not only a bad Star Wars movie but just a terrible movie in general with shitty characters, terrible writing and lots of dull and boring scenes. Even if The Force Awakens had been a brand new IP, this would have been a horrible sequel.

 

[T8SC]

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Donnie Darko.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The Big Lebowski

 

[Hatemachine]

Godzilla vs Kong
Wonder Woman 1984

 

[Lupingosei]

Ghostbusters (2016) | Rotten Tomatoes

Paranormal researcher Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy) and physicist Erin Gilbert are trying to prove that ghosts exist in modern society. When strange apparitions appear in Manhattan, Gilbert and Yates turn to engineer Jillian Holtzmann for help. Also joining the team is Patty Tolan, a lifelong...

www.rottentomatoes.com

This movie fails on the most basic level.

 

[INC]

Black panther, I dont get it, its not even a great marvel film tbh

96%......gtfo.

 

[ArtemisClydeFrog]

Insert any of those cringe-ass musicals. Just a genre of straight doodoopuss.

 

[ArtemisClydeFrog]

The Big Lebowski

 

[Corgi1985]

Ferris bueller is just about a wealthy teenager acting like a jackass.

 

[MadAnon]

Won't bother posting pictures but I would say Annihilation.

Critic reviews boil down to "Women!!!" and your typical modern art reviews where you could literally throw shit against blank canvas and they would tell this is amaizingly thought provoking.

Imo, if the movie leaves you with a lot of questions, it's a god damn epic fail. And the whole movie was a one big question mark. A non-sensical sci-fi salad with nothing coherent. F out of here with these "make of it what you will" movies. Outside of visuals and music it's a complete trash.

 

[strange headache]

The Big Lebowski

 

[SlimySnake]

Black panther, I dont get it, its not even a great marvel film tbh

96%......gtfo.

black panther is pretty bad. i dont care for marvel movies, but i dont think they are bad movies. black panther is a bad movie.

the audience score for these movies is typically much higher than critic ratings. the fact that its nearly 20 points lower is pretty telling.

 

[T8SC]

 

[Alright]

Not to be that guy, but just about any big hollywood blockbuster that has reviewers and normies gushing, is usually shite.

I'm not watching star wars because it's for fat nerd virgins, but the marvel films were largely wank, with the exception of the first few iron mans/captain americas. Thor 3 was the most god awful disjointed mess i have ever seen, without exception, and i've seen Jennifer's Body three times. Although i hated that film because of blue balls...

 

[DetectiveBananas]

78% on Rotten Tomatoes....

 

[tsumake]

Movie critics are part of the corporate media. The days of Pauline (or even Siskel and Ebert) are long gone. They are there to cheerlead and gatekeep the movies you are supposed to watch. It’s quite frankly disgusting.

 

[dr_octagon]

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Donnie Darko.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The Big Lebowski

 

[Relativ9]

Inception...movie is so far up it's own ass it brought the viewers with it and convinced them that the turd of a plot was actually high class chocolate pudding.

 

[tsumake]

Inception...movie is so far up it's own ass it brought the viewers with it and convinced them that the turd of a plot was actually high class chocolate pudding.

The film is a refreshing take on the action thriller genre. The layering of scenes (dreams within dreams) was fun. You can quibble about the acting (I can) and the forced love story but it’s a solid movie. It would be pretentious if it hit you on the head with its ideas, but the narrative energy was focused on the robbery.

 

[ArtemisClydeFrog]

I'm not watching star wars because its for fat nerd virgins, but the marvel films

 

[Nikana]

Bumblebee.

I really thought it was incredibly boring.

 

[AJUMP23]

Promising Young Woman- slow boring movie with one of the most woke messages, and dumb twist ever. It is not good.

 

[Durien]

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Donnie Darko.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski is a treasure, good sir or madame. A treasure! This is why we can't have nice things...

 

[dr_octagon]

black panther is pretty bad. i dont care for marvel movies, but i dont think they are bad movies. black panther is a bad movie.

the audience score for these movies is typically much higher than critic ratings. the fact that its nearly 20 points lower is pretty telling.

it's decent, not great and the final playstation 2 cgi fight is awful. people comparing it to the efforts of MLK and an important milestone for black history was laughable.

i hope in the future people judge me not on the colour of my skin but the durability of my nanotech suit.

 

[Halcyon]

Black Panther is a terrible movie. I hate it in my soul that people forgot Blade exists when they were talking about how it was the first black comic book movie.

 

[TGO]

Black Panther is a terrible movie. I hate it in my soul that people forgot Blade exists when they were talking about how it was the first black comic book movie.

Blade was also the first movie under the Marvel label intro

 

[The Hamburglar]

I say this to myself sometimes after finishing a movie.
Movie reviews are always opinion based but just for fun - is there any time you've thought to yourself: What were these critics on when they reviewed this shit?

If you've got a good one: Try and do it in the format below if possible:

• Movie poster
• Rottentomatoes screenshot or IMDB etc
• A positive quote from a review
• Your comment ont he movieI

I'll Start:

One Critic says:
"Vivarium is an ingenious, relentless sci-fi horror from Irish director Lorcan Finnegan and writer Garret Shanley."

I Say:
One of the worst movies I've ever seen. The Audience score in this one is absolutely correct. This one is available on Amazon and seems to show up in a lot of "best movies" lists. Don't waste your time.
I will say the look of the movie is great but almost everything else makes it for such an unpleasant viewing.
It reminds me of room 1408 but that's a lot better, watch that instead"

Anything with that cringe retard Jesse einsburger is a turd.

 

[Rest]

Bladerunner. Relentlessly boring, unimaginative dreck.

Jesse Eisenberg is on the poster, it was doomed from the start.

 

[The Hamburglar]

Inception...movie is so far up it's own ass it brought the viewers with it and convinced them that the turd of a plot was actually high class chocolate pudding.

People don’t get that inception was meta. In the film inception means to plant an idea in your head that you think is yours.

It’s meta in that Nolan convinced people this boring garbage was good before they even saw it.

 

[Ikutachi]

Joker

 

[tsumake]

Bladerunner. Relentlessly boring, unimaginative dreck.




Jesse Eisenberg is on the poster, it was doomed from the start.

Style over substance, but a compelling style. Arguably one of the predecessors of cyberpunk.

 

[kittoo]

Promising Young Woman- slow boring movie with one of the most woke messages, and dumb twist ever. It is not good.

Agreed. 5 Oscar nominations? It doesn't deserve any! Its a completely pedestrain barely competent movie.
But my biggest gripe with it (apart from super woke 'all guys bad' messaging) was that Carrey mulligan doesn't suit the role of a femme Fatale at all! Let's be honest, she is old almost ugly looking raggedy ass woman. The movie pretends as if she is super hot bombshell with every guy just dying to fuck her from the moment go, doesn't sit with me.
Now if it was someone like Daddario or Robbie or Upton, then I understand!

Anything with that cringe retard Jesse einsburger is a turd.

You take that back! The social network is amazing (And Zombieland isn't bad either).

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

That Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe lighthouse movie.

I'd rather watch a Marvel movie than that PoS.

 

[SKM1]

Inception...movie is so far up it's own ass it brought the viewers with it and convinced them that the turd of a plot was actually high class chocolate pudding.

If inception is a turd then I'll gladly partake in coprophagy

 

[AmuroChan]

RT / Audience
Knock Down The House - 99%/10%
Captain Marvel - 79%/45%
The Last Jedi - 90%/42%
Cuties - 87%/17%
Us - 93%/59%

 

[Mondai]

Superbad, that movie sucks.

 

[Dusktildawn48]

I care a lot. Worst movie I've seen in a very long time. Making the woman stealing from old people the protagonist. Just fucking awful.

 

[Hero of Spielberg]

I care a lot. Worst movie I've seen in a very long time. Making the woman stealing from old people the protagonist. Just fucking awful.

How people could think it was a good movie just baffles me. I don’t think I’ve disliked a movie more tbh and that’s saying something.

 

[bender]

Donnie Darko.
The Big Lebowski

 

[sircaw]

I remember the reviews for Venom, they said it was total garbage, I loved it.

 

[Halo is Back]

I'll get it out of the way:

What critics say
Star Wars: The Last Jedi honors the saga's rich legacy while adding some surprising twists -- and delivering all the emotion-rich action fans could hope for

What I say:
It's not only a bad Star Wars movie but just a terrible movie in general with shitty characters, terrible writing and lots of dull and boring scenes. Even if The Force Awakens had been a brand new IP, this would have been a horrible sequel.

 

[Neil Young]

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri. This movie sucked! And anyone that says Lebowski treats objects like women man.

 

[bender]

I care a lot. Worst movie I've seen in a very long time. Making the woman stealing from old people the protagonist. Just fucking awful.

Semi-random. My brother and I went into From Dusk Until Dawn blindly and certainly not knowing it was a vampire flick. Good times.

 

[belmarduk]

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Donnie Darko.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The Big Lebowski

Why didn't you like Donnie Darko?

 

[bitbydeath]

What a shitfest.

No Country For Old Men - WTH I thought that was meant to be good given the reception I’d heard about it.

3/10 tops.

I was tempted to give it a 6/10 towards the end but then they just gave up filming and rolled the damn credits. Even the three sounds too high but there was some very good actors, that script though. They could have easily knocked an hour off and nothing of value would have been lost from the movie.

This has got to be the worst movie I’ve seen in a long, long time.

 

[Redlancet]

Black panther was a ok movie, the rotten score? No sane white reviewer will have the guts to be Honest, they will be cancelled asap

 

[Ionian]

Inception...movie is so far up it's own ass it brought the viewers with it and convinced them that the turd of a plot was actually high class chocolate pudding.

I actually watched it twice as I thought I'd missed what everyone was on about.

Nope, found it just as boring the second time as well.

 

[bender]

What a shitfest.

 

[mcjmetroid]

I care a lot. Worst movie I've seen in a very long time. Making the woman stealing from old people the protagonist. Just fucking awful.

This was some watch wasn't it haha.
I guess in the movie there were no good guys. But it was a tough watch. Very mean spirited movie.

 

[AV]

Felt like theatre students made this. So incredibly boring back to front, with a clever little ending which isn't worth the rest of the running time.