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The " I cannot believe the critics gave this movie a good review" thread
- Thread starter mcjmetroid
- Start date
teezzy
Banned
Solo was good but Rogue One is the best Star Wars movie ever made
Literally the worst one
No charm to it whatsoever
Zeroing
Banned
This!! It make me loose faith in reviews. Also the new Bo burham special where reviewers calling it a “documentary” so many examples that sometimes I wonder if critics see the same thing as us
INC
Member
What! Its a perfect modern day crime noir
I dont understand the world sometimes
ArtemisClydeFrog
Banned
eddie4
Genuinely Generous
Dr. Suchong
Member
Ah I see.
I quite enjoyed 2. The rest are snooze-fests imo.
j0hnnix
Member
Absolutely vile movie. Léolo. Basically the movie starts with a guy jerking off in tomatoes, a women fells into the same tomatoes at the market and one gets into her vagina and she gets pregnant with a kid that she names Léo.
Then you have him as teenager fucking a liver then having it cooked full of cum and them eating it. The family also sells their shit, litterally.
Considered a masterpiece. Like WTF people are on what drugs to enjoy that?!
TheGrat1
Member
This. I remember when TLJ came out and people hated it, all I could think was: "Where was this outrage 2 years ago? TFA was even worse!"
TLJ has lower lows than TFA (nonsensical ship chase/casino planet/that asian girl) but it had way, WAAAY higher highs. Actually decent lightsaber combat, First order battles, Luke's illusion, and that light speed jump (HOLY SHIT was that awesome, in the literal sense of the word). The last 1/3rd of that film was actually entertaining. On the other hand, TFA was boring from beginning to end and had equally stupid shit in it: Rey defeating Kylo by closing her eyes for 6 seconds/Rey performing a sophisticated mind trick with no prior indication she even knew it was possible/Han Solo having lightspeed reaction times LMFAO. Like you said, all they did was rip off A New Hope and somehow failed to do an even worse job of it than The Phantom Menace.
NecrosaroIII
Ultimate DQ Fan
TFA created a weak foundation for the rest of the series. It did jack all to establish its setting, the ideologies of the factions and where they came from.
Cockles & Whelks
Banned
Boring. Boring. I feel asleep. For a film about an evacuation, it had little tension.
www.rottentomatoes.com
Dunkirk (2017) | Rotten Tomatoes
In May 1940, Germany advanced into France, trapping Allied troops on the beaches of Dunkirk. Under air and ground cover from British and French forces, troops were slowly and methodically evacuated from the beach using every serviceable naval and civilian vessel that could be found. At the end...
www.rottentomatoes.com
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p_xavier
Authorized Fister
j0hnnix
Member
Top 10 Canadian film of all times!
Léolo - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
Lots of his shit is boring. He might be the most overrated modern filmmaker. He peaked at Batman Begins.Boring. Boring. I feel asleep. For a film about an evacuation, it had little tension.
Dunkirk (2017) | Rotten Tomatoes
In May 1940, Germany advanced into France, trapping Allied troops on the beaches of Dunkirk. Under air and ground cover from British and French forces, troops were slowly and methodically evacuated from the beach using every serviceable naval and civilian vessel that could be found. At the end...
Tschumi
Member
Tombstone.. sorry if it's an unpopular choice but aside from Doc Holiday i found the movie to be worse than a straight-to-tv b flick.. absolutely butchered by editing and suffering from inconsistent characterisation, and pretty cheesy acting. Maybe if there's a director's cut out there I'll give it a go, but whatever cockeyed mongrel of a flick i saw was god awful.
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OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
INC
Member
Young guns is the same, the music choice alone completely kills the film tone
Watched tombstone not long ago, and yeh it looks dated, and like a hallmark film lol, everythings clean and just off looking
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OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
INC
Member
also
Well Unforgiven came out the year before, so seeing that and then this cartoon version of the west, it just out of place tbh
Still a great film, but it does look and feel dated.
Azurro
Banned
Basically all Marvel movies:
"Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of the MCU's most absorbing stories -- and introducing some of its most fully realized characters" - Black Panther
"With the help of its charismatic lead, some impressive action sequences, and even a few surprises, Iron Man 3 is a witty, entertaining adventure and a strong addition to the Marvel canon. " - Iron Man 3
"A breezily unpredictable blend of teen romance and superhero action, Spider-Man: Far from Home stylishly sets the stage for the next era of the MCU. " - Spiderman: Far From Home
"Exciting, funny, and above all fun, Thor: Ragnarok is a colorful cosmic adventure that sets a new standard for its franchise -- and the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe." - Thor: Ragnarok
My take:
All of these movies are formulaic and forgettable, following a clearly defined formula, always afraid of taking themselves seriously, even for a single second. None of the characters have any actual depth, every single moment is full of quippy quips, villains are always forgettable, there are never any stakes and these movies offer empty 2 hour entertainment that you won't retain in your mind for more than 15 minutes after leaving the theatre.
"Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of the MCU's most absorbing stories -- and introducing some of its most fully realized characters" - Black Panther
"With the help of its charismatic lead, some impressive action sequences, and even a few surprises, Iron Man 3 is a witty, entertaining adventure and a strong addition to the Marvel canon. " - Iron Man 3
"A breezily unpredictable blend of teen romance and superhero action, Spider-Man: Far from Home stylishly sets the stage for the next era of the MCU. " - Spiderman: Far From Home
"Exciting, funny, and above all fun, Thor: Ragnarok is a colorful cosmic adventure that sets a new standard for its franchise -- and the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe." - Thor: Ragnarok
My take:
All of these movies are formulaic and forgettable, following a clearly defined formula, always afraid of taking themselves seriously, even for a single second. None of the characters have any actual depth, every single moment is full of quippy quips, villains are always forgettable, there are never any stakes and these movies offer empty 2 hour entertainment that you won't retain in your mind for more than 15 minutes after leaving the theatre.
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OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
I haven't seen a good dceu movie yet.
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
The Last Jedi.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) - Rotten Tomatoes
90% on RT when we all know it is the worst SW movie ever made.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) - Rotten Tomatoes
90% on RT when we all know it is the worst SW movie ever made.
Tschumi
Member
No points for originality but yes. That said, i think the third one, whatever it was called, was worse
Tschumi
Member
MastaKiiLA
Member
This is clearly the thread where people display their horrible taste in movies. I'm not going to partake in this. My bad taste is on full display in the movies thread.
GermanZepp
Member
People likes the shitiest things
QSD
Member
God man, Blaze of Glory... every time they play that on the local classic rock radio station I call them to explain again what classic rock actually is. Then when they play Nickelback I call again to remind them.
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
QSD
Member
I'd ask what the music from the first movie was but it's likely I will later regret it
I think a larger issue is that these “critics” are more marketer than critic. At least Pauline Kael’s reviews were more thoughtful:
Pauline Kael’s Most Passionate Reviews, From ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ to ‘Taxi Driver’
From her rave of "Bonnie and Clyde" to her dismissal of "Chloe in the Afternoon," here are choice quotes from some of Kael's best reviews.
www.indiewire.com
BadBurger
Many “Whelps”! Handle It!
I have so many.
The Last Jedi is high on the list for me. I don't understand why so many critics found this boring, poorly written film to be so great. Even if I wasn't a Star Wars fan I would recognize this as just basically a very bad movie.
Addressing Vivarium from the OP, I found it passable but yes that critic score feels a little high. It attempts to shock or depress the viewer over and over, but nothing about the story ever truly leads anywhere. With absolutely no hints to any of the questions raised in the film, where's the mystery? It feels like a high school student tried to replicate the writing of actual quality, mysterious sci-fi.
The Tourist. This one actually one awards. It is possibly the dullest move I have seen in the last ten years that had an all star cast.
BlackKkKlansman. Spike Lee for me is hit or miss. I think Do the Right Thing is one of the most perfectly crafted and paced indie movies of all time, for example, while movies like Chi-Raq are torturously stupid. Black' is a well shot film (visually) with decent acting, but it is very boring, predictable (even if one didn't know the true life inspiration behind it), and the humor mostly falls flat. 93% Rotten Tomatoes score and 86% Metacritic feels way too high.
The Age of Innocence. An adaptation of an obviously famous novel (which I have not read). I watched it maybe five years ago after so many people suggested it and I saw the glowing praise from critics. Well, no one in this acts like actual human beings outside of various hot people wanting to fuck one another. They all make weird decisions that are plainly the wrong ones given their circumstances, and it's all passed off as drama. I couldn't believe Scorsese made this. It kind of felt like a Lifetime Channel movie with a large budget.
The Last Jedi is high on the list for me. I don't understand why so many critics found this boring, poorly written film to be so great. Even if I wasn't a Star Wars fan I would recognize this as just basically a very bad movie.
Addressing Vivarium from the OP, I found it passable but yes that critic score feels a little high. It attempts to shock or depress the viewer over and over, but nothing about the story ever truly leads anywhere. With absolutely no hints to any of the questions raised in the film, where's the mystery? It feels like a high school student tried to replicate the writing of actual quality, mysterious sci-fi.
The Tourist. This one actually one awards. It is possibly the dullest move I have seen in the last ten years that had an all star cast.
BlackKkKlansman. Spike Lee for me is hit or miss. I think Do the Right Thing is one of the most perfectly crafted and paced indie movies of all time, for example, while movies like Chi-Raq are torturously stupid. Black' is a well shot film (visually) with decent acting, but it is very boring, predictable (even if one didn't know the true life inspiration behind it), and the humor mostly falls flat. 93% Rotten Tomatoes score and 86% Metacritic feels way too high.
The Age of Innocence. An adaptation of an obviously famous novel (which I have not read). I watched it maybe five years ago after so many people suggested it and I saw the glowing praise from critics. Well, no one in this acts like actual human beings outside of various hot people wanting to fuck one another. They all make weird decisions that are plainly the wrong ones given their circumstances, and it's all passed off as drama. I couldn't believe Scorsese made this. It kind of felt like a Lifetime Channel movie with a large budget.
QuantumZebra
Member
Lmao
It's not great and could have been far better, but I've taken shits better than the prequel trilogy
Burning Blade
Member
Tenet was an absolute chore of a movie. By far my least favorite Nolan movie. His best being
The Prestige, of course.
Hulk_Smash
Banned
FIFY
dr_octagon
Banned
Iron Man is the best one because it's self contained, with a decent story, good cast and dialogue without connecting things to future films. It looks more like a film rather than digitally colour tuned and the special effects are not over the top.
mcjmetroid
Member
Blackkklansman was a funny one. Apparently Spike Lee got pissed off because he lost best film to Green Book.
I don't know Spike maybe make a better film than Green Book next time?
INC
Member
Spike Lee is massively overrated anyway, clockers and malcolm x are ok tho
Konnor
Member
Most Disney films the last 5-10 years, I'm pretty fucking sure Disney is bribing critics directly or not.
High Life, it's pretentious trash that doesn't have one interesting character or plotline. Awful fucking film only fucking critics would pretend to like to show how intellectual they are.
High Life, it's pretentious trash that doesn't have one interesting character or plotline. Awful fucking film only fucking critics would pretend to like to show how intellectual they are.
poppabk
Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
I thought Get Out was an okay movie, but it fell apart after the 'reveal'. It was more nuanced than evil white racists though.
US was pretty bad because the concept was weak and flawed, but it did execute it's horror elements better.
I'll put in my vote for Martin Scorsese's "Hugo Sucks!"
The trailer makes it seem like it's some sort of adventure film. Nope, film on early cinema. Set in England, oh wait it's France but everybody has a British accent. (Because British = Class and Class = Oscar) When you get down to it really what "Hugo Sucks!' is about is Scorsese pandering for a bunch more Oscars.(Ben Kingsley? The academy loves that shit. Early cinema? They'll gobble that up faster than a fat kid eating cake) What can I say about a film when the best performance is by Borat. It even has a depressing ending
All the train ever wanted was to do everybody a favor and run down Hugo Sucks. I probably wasn't the only one cheering on the train. Damn you Borat, you had to ruin everything and save him.
The trailer makes it seem like it's some sort of adventure film. Nope, film on early cinema. Set in England, oh wait it's France but everybody has a British accent. (Because British = Class and Class = Oscar) When you get down to it really what "Hugo Sucks!' is about is Scorsese pandering for a bunch more Oscars.(Ben Kingsley? The academy loves that shit. Early cinema? They'll gobble that up faster than a fat kid eating cake) What can I say about a film when the best performance is by Borat. It even has a depressing ending
All the train ever wanted was to do everybody a favor and run down Hugo Sucks. I probably wasn't the only one cheering on the train. Damn you Borat, you had to ruin everything and save him.
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mcjmetroid
Member
I wonder why
It's not even a particularly good film, it probably wasn't even the best Marvel film released that year.
Fbh
Member
Boring. Boring. I feel asleep. For a film about an evacuation, it had little tension.
Dunkirk (2017) | Rotten Tomatoes
In May 1940, Germany advanced into France, trapping Allied troops on the beaches of Dunkirk. Under air and ground cover from British and French forces, troops were slowly and methodically evacuated from the beach using every serviceable naval and civilian vessel that could be found. At the end...
Yeah this one was really disappointing.
Had a decent sense of immersion watching it in IMAX but aside from that I just found it really dull and boring.
1917 ended up being the movie I was hoping Dunkirk would be. Had a similar style but pulled it off way better in every way. I was more engaged watching 1917 on a 32" TV than Dunkir in IMAX.
sCHOCOLATE
Member
I thought Blade was a more enjoyable watch than Black Panther by a country mile.
I can re-watch Blade (the bloodbath scene never fails to disappoint).
Merely thinking about some of Black Panther's sequences puts me to sleep...
sCHOCOLATE
Member
I hope "he" tracks you down.What a shitfest.
