Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Its like she's trying to convince herself her life is great.
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The joys of making Shakshouka alone
- Thread starter EviLore
- Start date
DeafTourette
Perpetually Offended
Some of y'all calling her names and "predicting" how her life will go ... Almost GLEEFULLY... Like "I can now judge this b-word without consequence because she doesn't align with societal norms"
BlackTron
Member
lachesis
Member
Well, I'm about to become 50, (divorced single dad) - and since late last year, I've dated several ladies breaking my near10yr celibacy.
I dated mostly around my age, or few yrs younger around 43-48 yr olds. (Currently dating/early relationship with a 38 yo, and actually feeling a bit of generation gap. lol)
During my encounters with older single/divorced ladies w no kids - I actually learned their lonesomeness is quite real, and I felt sorry for them.
Every one of them, they all brought up them about feeling alone in the world having no child, especially when they are past 45 or so - that they know they are almost certain not being able to have a child, some going through menopause.
Some were afraid of trying, some given up with a big sigh. Not exactly of regret they all said - but it did sound to me like regrets. However, vast majority of them just got so comfortable with being themselves, that there was nothing I could offer, nor I felt needed in their lives - certainly true when two adults who have spent almost 50 yrs as total strangers trying to meet in the middle can be challenging.
I also dated a couple of single moms with kid(s) - we just ended up talking about our kids most of the time, which actually ended up with no romantic spark... and some I felt like they just want a side piece, a puzzle piece to fit in their lives.
As people marry less and less, and not having kids in most developed countries... kids seem to be "burden" than "blessing" to most people who haven't had them.
Places like South Korea - their birth rate is like 0.7 (Seoul is like 0.5) - literally half of Japan (normally around 1.3 or 1.4)... and while it's true that single life can be fulfilling on its own, societal devastation (especially economical devastation) in just 20-30 yrs of that kind of population loss, I can't even imagine. Perhaps AI and automation will save them?
But what do we actually live for... is another question. Kinda sad to just to think to live day by day, making money, killing time doing whatever you like to do at the moment till one's own death sounds so meaningless.
However, I've first hand witnessed/experienced how current family/divorce law can be so devastating to many ordinary men, I am doubtful if I would marry again myself. Not because of not believing in marriage but the potential downfall/breakup was so devastating on both emotional/financial side. (Hence, I'm not a supporter of no-fault divorce at this point.)
So I see how this lady is feeling, and for certain period of my time after divorce - I did pretty similar - just did things I liked, lived on day by day, and taking care of my child, recovering and gathering my composure.
But she's still young (if she's indeed 29). Perhaps this (in)famous video will lead her to a good man, if she's willing? It's her life after all, and maybe when she's 45+.. then her generation may be entirely different from my own and she may still hold the same thoughts as she does now? I think that's sad thing, but she doesn't need my sympathy nor my criticism. What worries me though, is that this may not be all that uncommon among young folks and where it will lead our society. Realistically, I only have 20-30 yrs to go, and would love to see the society more burgeoning and happier place, than all so fear driven and divided when I kick the bucket.
I dated mostly around my age, or few yrs younger around 43-48 yr olds. (Currently dating/early relationship with a 38 yo, and actually feeling a bit of generation gap. lol)
During my encounters with older single/divorced ladies w no kids - I actually learned their lonesomeness is quite real, and I felt sorry for them.
Every one of them, they all brought up them about feeling alone in the world having no child, especially when they are past 45 or so - that they know they are almost certain not being able to have a child, some going through menopause.
Some were afraid of trying, some given up with a big sigh. Not exactly of regret they all said - but it did sound to me like regrets. However, vast majority of them just got so comfortable with being themselves, that there was nothing I could offer, nor I felt needed in their lives - certainly true when two adults who have spent almost 50 yrs as total strangers trying to meet in the middle can be challenging.
I also dated a couple of single moms with kid(s) - we just ended up talking about our kids most of the time, which actually ended up with no romantic spark... and some I felt like they just want a side piece, a puzzle piece to fit in their lives.
As people marry less and less, and not having kids in most developed countries... kids seem to be "burden" than "blessing" to most people who haven't had them.
Places like South Korea - their birth rate is like 0.7 (Seoul is like 0.5) - literally half of Japan (normally around 1.3 or 1.4)... and while it's true that single life can be fulfilling on its own, societal devastation (especially economical devastation) in just 20-30 yrs of that kind of population loss, I can't even imagine. Perhaps AI and automation will save them?
But what do we actually live for... is another question. Kinda sad to just to think to live day by day, making money, killing time doing whatever you like to do at the moment till one's own death sounds so meaningless.
However, I've first hand witnessed/experienced how current family/divorce law can be so devastating to many ordinary men, I am doubtful if I would marry again myself. Not because of not believing in marriage but the potential downfall/breakup was so devastating on both emotional/financial side. (Hence, I'm not a supporter of no-fault divorce at this point.)
So I see how this lady is feeling, and for certain period of my time after divorce - I did pretty similar - just did things I liked, lived on day by day, and taking care of my child, recovering and gathering my composure.
But she's still young (if she's indeed 29). Perhaps this (in)famous video will lead her to a good man, if she's willing? It's her life after all, and maybe when she's 45+.. then her generation may be entirely different from my own and she may still hold the same thoughts as she does now? I think that's sad thing, but she doesn't need my sympathy nor my criticism. What worries me though, is that this may not be all that uncommon among young folks and where it will lead our society. Realistically, I only have 20-30 yrs to go, and would love to see the society more burgeoning and happier place, than all so fear driven and divided when I kick the bucket.
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Fools idol
Banned
As a parent to a 4 year old, who meets a ton of other parents... I can safely say that, at least half of the people who do end up with kids, are terrible parents and should have never had kids at all or have them much later in life.
I'll explain why - they are too selfish. This woman is incredibly selfish it seems, and that is a recipe for disaster with children in your life. The responsibility of parenting is more than a full time job, one that you and your partner can never truly 'clock off' from, don't get paid for, and impossible to 'train' for the day to day challenges.
Kids are incredibly impressionable and expectant beings. They require near constant attention and reassurance, especially during the first 7 or 8 years while their sense of self develops. This is a big responsibility no one can prepare you for, and many parents crash and burn pretty fast, which leads to relationship problems, addictions... you know the rest.
When you go to kids parties as an adult you see a good variety of shitty parents, absent parents, and of course a few good ones but it's rare. And it shows in the kids. Misbehaviour is normal and commonplace but for some reason it really comes out at parties and social events. Most parents these days just sit there on their phones and argue with the other parent about who should be taking the lead and doing what. It's sad and pretty funny to watch, and clear why there are so many fucked up people in the world who came from distracted parents.
I'll explain why - they are too selfish. This woman is incredibly selfish it seems, and that is a recipe for disaster with children in your life. The responsibility of parenting is more than a full time job, one that you and your partner can never truly 'clock off' from, don't get paid for, and impossible to 'train' for the day to day challenges.
Kids are incredibly impressionable and expectant beings. They require near constant attention and reassurance, especially during the first 7 or 8 years while their sense of self develops. This is a big responsibility no one can prepare you for, and many parents crash and burn pretty fast, which leads to relationship problems, addictions... you know the rest.
When you go to kids parties as an adult you see a good variety of shitty parents, absent parents, and of course a few good ones but it's rare. And it shows in the kids. Misbehaviour is normal and commonplace but for some reason it really comes out at parties and social events. Most parents these days just sit there on their phones and argue with the other parent about who should be taking the lead and doing what. It's sad and pretty funny to watch, and clear why there are so many fucked up people in the world who came from distracted parents.
Aesius
Member
This is all true. I think most people tend to rise up to meet the challenge of parenthood even if they don't seem equipped for it before the baby is born. But many don't, and it's really sad when it happens.
One of my best friends had her son just before my wife and I had our oldest. The boy's dad couldn't be bothered to do anything for him or to help the mom out, and he would lose his shit if he had to watch him by himself for just a few hours. Just a total irresponsible selfish manchild. My friend ended up leaving him about a year ago.
She said being a single mom was actually easier than trying to be a mom to both her son and her deadbeat boyfriend. Apparently he was a normal guy until the kid came around. Far more common in men but it also happens in some women, too. What's really tragic is when it affects both parents and there aren't any relatives around to pick up the slack or raise the kid.
Hugare
Member
Yeah, but it feels more like she was coping, trying to convince herself that she didnt need kids/husband than actually being happy with it
There are so many people that feel that way. "I dont need it", when it's actually trying to deal with the absence of that thing in her life.
Don't know, videos like these are too weird for me (someone that's low profile and doesnt show up often in social media)
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
What was going on with her eyes?
CrankyJay™
Member
She's screaming for help.
GymWolf
Member
I'm reading karate shoukoushi kohinata minoru manga, does it count?
LokusAbriss
Member
How can a parent so selfishly destroy their kids family. Any parent misses their freedom. That is part of becoming a parent, but you can reintroduce some freedom with the help of your partner or family.If she settled down in her 20s, though, she could’ve ended up like Sophie Turner!
Beeing a teenager in your 30s is sad.
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Mr Reasonable
Completely Unreasonable
Plenty of people are absolutely ruined by being brought up by a couple that no longer love one another and are miserable. Having dysfunction modelled daily, isn't a healthy thing. One assumes that she's not getting divorced because she wants a few more nights out.
I must admit to not having followed the Daily Mail's coverage of the Jonas Brothers' relationships, but having a marriage break down and going out for a drink is hardly grounds for condemnation. As the woman featured in the original post has pointed out, quite a lot of marriages fail, there just isn't enough time or energy to tell all the people in marriages that fail that they're terrible people!
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LokusAbriss
Member
Every case is different. And to judge from the outside is always difficult. But kids suffer a long time from cases you mentioned and divorce. Life is messy.
Mr Reasonable
Completely Unreasonable
Huh? You're going to try and be philosophical immediately after saying how selfish she is for destroying her kids' family?
I had wondered if people in this thread realised how misogynistic they were being, but it seems like some people don't even know what the words they're typing mean, let alone the sentiment.
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Hudo
Member
Nothing ever good happens in BirminghamIf she settled down in her 20s, though, she could’ve ended up like Sophie Turner!
He initiated the divorce because she was partying constantly and presumably sleeping around. Reportedly something she did was caught on a Ring camera which sealed the deal.
Sounds like internalized misogyny to me!
LokusAbriss
Member
I would say that I am definetly somewhat misogynistic. That came through many different experiences and woman I have met over the years. And if the article was right, then my opinion stands. But we really can't trust most sources today.
Most woman are great people and their lives are as hard as ours. They just have different problems as us and we can't relate most of the time.
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Toots
Gold Member
I dated an algerian girl for a couple of years and she made great shakshouka.
She had enormous tits too
That lonely girl is neither maghrebi, nor she has big tits. Two telltale signs that her shakshouka, if it ever existed (big if), was but a slimy tasting bland as herself shit.
I get Sophie Turner. Joe Jonas seems like the lamest of the bunch of lamos that are the jonass brothers.
If i were married to that guy, i'd also want to down 50 jager bomb a night and snort cocaine lines off of chavs dicks
She had enormous tits too
That lonely girl is neither maghrebi, nor she has big tits. Two telltale signs that her shakshouka, if it ever existed (big if), was but a slimy tasting bland as herself shit.
I get Sophie Turner. Joe Jonas seems like the lamest of the bunch of lamos that are the jonass brothers.
If i were married to that guy, i'd also want to down 50 jager bomb a night and snort cocaine lines off of chavs dicks
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GymWolf
Member
-Minsc-
Member
I say you have made the best post in the entire thread thus far.
Before I got married there were a lot of things I had to sort out in my head. If I married back in the twenties it's very likely I would be divorced now. Definitely would have been a terrible parent. Now married one year I can say it's a continuing learning experience. Nobody knows what the future has in store but are aiming to get divorced.
I'm neither an expert on marriage or divorce but if were to give younger people advice it would be to aim for marriage but not rush into it. Think about what it means to build a long and loving marriage. Explore ones own faults and work on bettering ones self. Learn how to take and give criticism. Both my spouse and I have our own thoughts that are necessary to share. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to do so. Not expressing is unhealthy. Romance is healthy (and necessary) but it can not be the foundation of the relationship. Getting married meant I had to confront the fear that the marriage would fail. Many present such fears in this very thread. We may not be able to prevent every fear from coming to past but we can at least not let fears control our lives and keep us from stepping forward.
In my personal experience I found dating became easier once I looked toward a lady my own age. A person may hear the advice to date half your age plus seven. That meant instead if dating my 38 year old future wife I was to go for a 26 year old lady. While it may not be impossible to have a successful relationship with that age gap it seems wise to consider there is a twelve year gap in life experience. I had a lot of growing up happen in those twelve years which the younger lady has yet to experience. Sometimes boundaries are the best form of love a person can give.
My wife and I were both single most our lives, never married and have no kids. There's a common ground there which a divorcee with children will not have. My uncle divorced in his early forties and eventually remarried in his late fifties. He said he never expected to get married again.
Any of us can probably write an entire essay of advice so I won't and end here.
daffyduck
Member
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
Gaf can surprise you every now and again.
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
If she settled down in her 20s, though, she could’ve ended up like Sophie Turner!
If you feel trapped or that you are missing out in a relationship. Like something better is out there. You should probably talk to your spouse about it and figure out what type of compromise you can work out to all you to "let loose". That is better than destroying something because you think you are missing out, your memory will tell you something was better than it really was.
I have taken couple of trips without my wife and kids, It was good but I always loved coming back to them. I have never cheated on my wife though.
Dr.Morris79
Gold Member
Fixed.
Toons
Member
Yea his response to someone saying something dumb is to suggest violence. Thats totally what we should be telling men to do.
Everyone sucks in this one.
Toons
Member
If she settled down in her 20s, though, she could’ve ended up like Sophie Turner!
Eh, there's definitely some truth to this given the age gap but this is likely PR from one side which means its also infinitely biased. Will wait for more info to spill out, usually the case is both parties contributed in some way.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
You're a swinger aren't you? It's not cheating if you have permission right? Jeebus is not happy.
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AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
Swinging would gross me out.
DeafTourette
Perpetually Offended
Relationships are about compromise, trust and having each other's back. This is true of platonic, familial and romantic relationships.
Marrying in your 20s is ... Not ideal. No matter what some in this thread are saying. Saying she should marry NOW so she won't be single later in life and end up an old cat lady is misguided and misogynistic. Maybe a bit narcissistic. It's her life... It doesn't involve you. So why are you mad?
Anyway, I knew I wasn't meant to marry in my 20s. Not with the problems I and my daughter's mom were having. And I'm still unmarried. Still single and living alone. Am I lonely? Sometimes. Am I miserable? Nope!
I say that to say this: each of us is on a journey to be our best selves... Sometimes that journey is with a partner, sometimes it's alone, sometimes it's with a friend or family member... However we do it shouldn't be anything that makes someone mad at us and calling us names. My life doesn't affect you any more than HER (the 29 yr old in the OP) life affects mine. I can disagree with something she said but it doesn't give me the right to call her out of her name and hope she dies old and alone.
Marrying in your 20s is ... Not ideal. No matter what some in this thread are saying. Saying she should marry NOW so she won't be single later in life and end up an old cat lady is misguided and misogynistic. Maybe a bit narcissistic. It's her life... It doesn't involve you. So why are you mad?
Anyway, I knew I wasn't meant to marry in my 20s. Not with the problems I and my daughter's mom were having. And I'm still unmarried. Still single and living alone. Am I lonely? Sometimes. Am I miserable? Nope!
I say that to say this: each of us is on a journey to be our best selves... Sometimes that journey is with a partner, sometimes it's alone, sometimes it's with a friend or family member... However we do it shouldn't be anything that makes someone mad at us and calling us names. My life doesn't affect you any more than HER (the 29 yr old in the OP) life affects mine. I can disagree with something she said but it doesn't give me the right to call her out of her name and hope she dies old and alone.
Aesius
Member
The problem with not marrying in your 20s is if you want to have kids. The timeline for having them then becomes very crunched, especially for women.
Fertility drops pretty rapidly at 35 (which is already considered a geriatric pregnancy) with natural pregnancy becoming unlikely at 40+.
So if a woman decides she wants a family at age 31-32, she has to find a guy, date him, marry him, and get pregnant all within a pretty short timeframe. And knowing her biological clock is ticking can cause her to overlook some serious flaws in a partner while also doubling down on an already bad relationship due to sunk-cost fallacy.
DeafTourette
Perpetually Offended
Fertility doesn't drop that much. One of my best friends had her first child at 32.
More and more women are having children after 30. Dating with an eye towards marriage isn't impossible nor rare for women in their 30s or even 40s. It's not even rare for them to have kids in their late 30s.
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
She put herself out there. You can clap along all you want and call her a slay queen. Some of us don't want too. These are both valid options.
On the subject she sounds miserable. Looks it too.
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Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
I agree with you. Not sure why some are trying to change the narrative. I don't think anyone here cares if she has kids or not. Some of us are just not buying what she's selling namely how awesome her "shakshouka making Real Housewives of New York watching single at 29 and no kids yet" life is. She looks and sounds miserable.
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Porcile
Member
Not having kids is perfectly reasonable but the things which she thinks are so aspirational and worth justifying as replacements are just really sad.
Like okay, you went to a popular concert but so did 60,000 other people, and it's not like any really effort went into doing that. Just buying the tickets online, driving to a venue and no doubt celebrity worshipping someone who you will never have a real interaction with in your life. Nothing wrong with seeing live music but it's a pretty basic consumer hobby. Beyonce isn't Beethoven or even The Beatles.
Making dinner. Probably the most creative and productive way she spent her time.
Vegging out at home watching trashy TV. Literally the same thing people have been doing for the last 40 years. Except instead of having to watch a variety of programs and channels and the chance to discover and something new and unexpected, you can just watch only the things you like and live in a comfy little bubble.
Like okay, you went to a popular concert but so did 60,000 other people, and it's not like any really effort went into doing that. Just buying the tickets online, driving to a venue and no doubt celebrity worshipping someone who you will never have a real interaction with in your life. Nothing wrong with seeing live music but it's a pretty basic consumer hobby. Beyonce isn't Beethoven or even The Beatles.
Making dinner. Probably the most creative and productive way she spent her time.
Vegging out at home watching trashy TV. Literally the same thing people have been doing for the last 40 years. Except instead of having to watch a variety of programs and channels and the chance to discover and something new and unexpected, you can just watch only the things you like and live in a comfy little bubble.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
She sounds like she's living her best life as an independent individual according to the choices that she makes. I don't think that being 29 and staying up late watching Beyonce is substantially different than being 29 and staying up late playing Starfield. Everyone has their own arbitrary and subjective means of recreation that sound great to some and stupid to others.
Kenpachii
Member
Happens a lot with woman that marry early and get kids.
TaylorSwiftFan
Member
I think her lifestyle is fine. It’s very likely that she’ll never want kids. But she does want kids at some point in the future then it’ll likely be too late by then.
JBat
Member
Honestly feel sorry for her. I can't remember what me and my wife did before kids and can't remember what I did when I was single. Are there days I wish I had zero responsibilities? Hell yeah. But I can't imagine that being the peak of my life. At some point you have to grow up and do something for some one or something other than yourself. Also who the fuck goes through the effort cooking for themselves? Most of the enjoyment of cooking is making the people you love and care for happy. Hope she finds a partner so she doesn't die lonely
Tams
Member
You're not coming across as a very nice or empathetic person there.
-Minsc-
Member
Luke 6:45
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
I came across this verse during a devotion this morning and thought of this thread.
Some times words are well intentioned, some not. I believe a good intentinoed word helps guide a person to see who they really are. Word's of "evil" intend to shape a person into being what the words say.
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
I came across this verse during a devotion this morning and thought of this thread.
Some times words are well intentioned, some not. I believe a good intentinoed word helps guide a person to see who they really are. Word's of "evil" intend to shape a person into being what the words say.
JBat
Member
Wasn't really trying to but admittedly harsher than I am typically. I'm becoming more and more confused by adults acting like children and not having a desire to do more with their lives than what feels good at any particular moment. Who knows, maybe she volunteers at the local Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too. Maybe she is a wonderful person. I don't know. This feeling I have isn't really directed at her specifically but more at the self centered lifestyle. I included all the "red pill" be a "high value man" goobers in this too. I know plenty of people that their only desire is to get up, maybe go to work, do what ever they want, and go to bed. Is it any skin off my nose? No; I even enjoy some of their company from time to time. People are allowed to live their lives they way they see fit. But I do believe this mind set attribute to a lot of the bad in the world. Sorry for the rants. Promise I'm done.
BlackTron
Member
lol ok. If you are by yourself you are not allowed to cook you are required to waste money on prepared food every time.