The lamest rap boasts

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Lil Wayne's "Yes"
Wayne: Yes I do it big, call me little astronomical, Weezy F. Baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal.

Wayne: "I promise, I should be hooked on Phonics."
:/

Edit:
Drake's line about lesbians in that song is pretty bad, but this is about lame boast not lame lines in general.
 
Techno Animal - We Can Build You (feat. El-P and Vast Alre Kramer)

Badass brag.

I've got a pack of evolving Pokémon in my pocket
And if that doesn't handle you
I guess it's time to go through your TV like Spacely Sprocket

photo_spacely3.jpg
 

Ivan 3414

Member
In 8 months, no one will even remember what this means.

It's the dumbest fucking line that dates Drake's career in such a way that carbon dating couldn't hope to achieve. Pretty much shows his demographic as well; what rap fans know who the fuck One Dimension is? Why does Drake know what One Dimension is? That is some Nickelodeon ass pandering right there.

The only thing this line shows is how bitter you are about Drake being one of the hottest rappers in hip-hop.

It's not the best line but it's not bad either. It serves its purpose: Drake makes a lot of money. You can be a rap fan and simultaneously be aware of One Direction's existence and that they have a huge fanbase. A person's knowledge isn't segregated like 60s Jim Crow laws. Get over yourself. It's asinine to be even slightly concerned about this line.
 
I'd agree if he didn't take his gangsta persona so seriously. After starting out as a trekkie/conspiracy theory-loving/believe-in-aliens nerd rapper; then changing into a horrocore, anti-catholic, hardcore White Nation of Islam drunkard (Muslims don't drink), then flipping his style once again to a faux-Latino thug rapper during the illusions of Ghandi era, and finally into the ridiculously corny superthug he is today. Actually, he might have had a few transformations since he bacame a gangsta rapper. I wouldn't put it past him.

If you need any further proof of his lameness, just like read the title of his albums and track listings. He takes himself way too seriously.

Jedi Mind Tricks is probably one of the hardest fall-offs in rap history, to be honest. I think Violent By Design is good, but there's no denying that every JMT album/pretty much anything they've touched after 2000 is garbage.
 

Tomohawk

Member
I chuckled when DMX said, "Tried to show him the dog shit, it's dog for life", in Go To Sleep. since i imagined him literally trying to show some one dog shit.
 

BumRush

Member
"Rolling in MPV's PHAT!!!" Wu-Tang

Simpler days obviously but even back then rolling in a Mazda mini van wasn't exactly ballin.

Haha hoping not serious...?

It was a car used by dealers because (at the time) it was one of the only vans with double sliding doors.
 
D

Deleted member 30609

Unconfirmed Member
Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man before
But you gonna be the first you little trick ass ho
Then you can tell me just how it taste
But before I nut I shoot some piss in your face

this reads like haiku
 

Hoo-doo

Banned
"She look so good I'd suck on her daddy's dick"

-Notorious B.I.G.

This is the best one. You missed the "Huh!" in the middle.

Anyway. The B.I.G. is the only one who could pull off wild shit like this. Directly dedicating an entire song to the hugeness of his dick (One more chance).
 

mclem

Member
I don't really *do* rap, but there is one line that does spring to mind:

"Got a license to drive like Corey Haim."
 
I got a gold tooth - costs more than your house
I got a diamond ring on four fingers - each one the size of a mouse

Prince - Dead On It (though I think he was being sarcastic).
 
Anyone boasting about pagers.

Not quite a boast but

"Fuckin with me 'cause I'm a teenager. With a little bit of gold and a pager." -NWA

My sides hurt whenever I think about these guys flashing pagers.
 
Some of J Cole's gems

I watched you shine. But me? I glow.

You logged off cause I'm online

I let you feel like you the sh*t, but you can't out fart me

My hooks could knock Rocky out

Cole World, but I'm hot as sh*t. Does that mean I'm bi-polar?

I rap like it's Christmas eve

I'm going all out and I never had a curfew

Cole heating up like that leftover lasagna

Game colder than the fu*kin' dead man

Wolverine is depressing, I don't wanna be your ex-man

We in two different games, you playing patty cake

Ain't even gotta fu*k him to know that he a raw nigga

I was brighter than a polo sweater

On my Martin sh*t...you go, girl

Them boys cool. Me? I'm on fire


These lines are unacceptable
 

aku:jiki

Member
"I'm as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer"

Turbo B from Snap!
I own a copy of this:

pUWkGLT.jpg


Clearly he's the baddest motherfucker of all time. Look at that painted cardboard tombstone! You're not hard enough to have cardboard tombstones in your house.
 

DJMicLuv

Member
I own a copy of this:

pUWkGLT.jpg


Clearly he's the baddest motherfucker of all time. Look at that painted cardboard tombstone! You're not hard enough to have cardboard tombstones in your house.

What? But he's carrying a spiked knuckle-duster/knife combo! That's more serious than cancer, well at least some forms of cancer, brain cancer's probably more serious.
 

DJMicLuv

Member
hahahahahhaha. that's not lame that's bad ass

Being heterosexual and sucking an older man's cock simply because his daughter is attractive sounds like an excuse. I think he wanted to suck the girl's father's cock anyway and was just blaming the daughter because he's ashamed of his gayness. I think he should have said "her dad looked so good I'd suck his dick" and be honest about it. It's still not boastful though unless he'd have said "I sucked her father's cock and it was the best blowjob he'd ever had!". That would be boastful but not a lame boast, rather a proud one.
 

F!ReW!Re

Member
First off, I really dig Kendrick's tracks, but come on dude;

Kendrick Lamar - Backseat Freestyle said:
I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower
So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours

Not really a boast, but it's definitely weird...
 

Kade

Member
"I got three shirts and they all look expensive,
2000 Volkswagon mad old and dented"
-Himanshu "Heems" Suri of Das Racist
 
I just got into Open Mike Eagle and the rest of Hellfyre Club. Dude has some of the best normal guy raps ever.
"I'll pull up to my rap show in a Ford Focus on 13's
and my nephew is in the 8th grade
He only talk about Beyblade
and my supermarket is Ralphs, on tour i'm looking for a Safeway"
 

jerry1594

Member
This song made me cringe so hard upon first listen I will remember it forever. The beat is awful too also it has Mick Jagger in the worst music featuring ever. Will.i.am's verse is a highlight in terrible incomplete punchline rap. Some choice quotes.



I wish that was the end of it, but it gets beyond hilarious when Mick Jagger drops this in the most terrible strained fashion. It's honestly on the level of magnets how do they work for me.

I'm sure Will.I.am wrote this but jagger moaning it out to an awful synth patch is honestly the highlight of this song for all the wrong reasons.
http://youtu.be/vjIwmJMqrco?t=3m40s
Man they need to launch this guy into the sun
 
Lmao, wtf was he thinking when he wrote that? Hahaha.

It's funny because he calls LL faggot like 2 lines before. He even triumphantly had a video made featuring Mike Tyson in which a crowd reels from the verbal haymaker that line delivered to LLs credibility. LL was so shook he made In Too Deep
 

Katori

Member
First off, I really dig Kendrick's tracks, but come on dude;



Not really a boast, but it's definitely weird...
This is a "flashback" song, portraying K-dot when he was younger. You know the weird stuff teenagers think of. Also it's (not really, but in the "story") a freestyle, where people make up crap like that.
 
I can't listen to any rap song... It's always just people complaining about how they used to be poor growing up but now they have all this nice shit. "Hey I got nice shit now and you don't HA, fuck you."

That's every rap song ever.
 
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