KnotLikely
Member
HAHAHAHAHA, that was the best thing ever. It probably means they're bringing V1 baccckuh though.
-
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The Official Raw Thread.
- Thread starter themadcowtipper
- Start date
- Status
themadcowtipper
Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
Well they pissed of the Crowd....
Im really mad right now, Mattitude has been my biggest mark out for a while, and I really thought he was back. but Im sure he will be back for Summerslam now.
if they dont have a contract with him now, I dont think they even put his name back on national TV since he might be about to jump to TNA. Especially with his 90 days being up in less than a week.
if they dont have a contract with him now, I dont think they even put his name back on national TV since he might be about to jump to TNA. Especially with his 90 days being up in less than a week.
themadcowtipper
Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
WWE must have seen the crowd reaction, maybe they will bring him back now...The wwe can't be that stupid can they...
Nameless
Member
Lyte Edge said:It's too bad Matt didn't actually come out; the wedding might have been worth watching then.
They did the same tease with Austin back when he had quit the WWE a few years back too.
and with Bret Hart after the "screwjob" at Survivor Series...Damn, I see Matt Returning down the line for sure..But he would probably "accidently" break Edge's neck though.
mightynine
Member
I'm thinking that Cena drops the belt and whomever wins goes to SD...and I'm thinking that will be Jericho.
themadcowtipper
Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
mightynine said:
Fixed for the greater good...
themadcowtipper
Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
Sweet WWE is doing a amnesia angle with Christy...
mightynine
Member
What the hell...thanks for coming out tonight, Hassan!
Keyser Soze
Member
The false Matt Hardy segment made me break remote....
...need superglue
Fuck you WWE!
...need superglue
Fuck you WWE!
The Faceless Master
Member
as soon as HHH came down with 10 minutes left, i knewthe_geche said:
just too much time for a simple run-in
Hmm, rumored spoiler:
Also,
*sigh*
The latest word making the rounds is that Chris Jericho will be shifted to SmackDown! during the draft lottery. Although we don't have it confirmed, we do know WWE management came to the conclusion that they would be moving Carlito's Cabana to RAW while the highlight reel would go to SmackDown!. We'll keep you posted throughout the week.
IMO, either John Cena is going back to SmackDown! or Jericho will be the new WWE champion.
IMO, either John Cena is going back to SmackDown! or Jericho will be the new WWE champion.
Also,
*sigh*
yeah, the no Matt Hardy return makes more sense in hindsight.. they were just giving him a big "fuck you" in his face, which explains why Lita was crying when she said she never loved another man till Edge. I mean, she nearly lost it completely. Dont feel sorry for her, but running this angle is really shitty. She only has this job because of Matt and Omega, and not only did she cost him his job, she is using the fact that she cheated on him to push herself.
Someone with any integrity at all would have told the WWE not to run this angle, and if the WWE forced them to, would walk away. When they first started this angle with Lita/Edge I thought it was all setting up for Matts return, but its starting to not look that way at all... but we can still hope.
Someone with any integrity at all would have told the WWE not to run this angle, and if the WWE forced them to, would walk away. When they first started this angle with Lita/Edge I thought it was all setting up for Matts return, but its starting to not look that way at all... but we can still hope.
Brian Fellows
Pete Carroll Owns Me
Good no Matt Hardy.
Here is a recap of Raw for those who missed it:
(Credit to jevman at the Wrestlecrap board)
Fireworks Explode, Fans Holding Up Signs, Camera Zooming Back And Forth Very Fast
JR: WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW! BY GAWD WE’VE GOT A SLOBERKNOCKER FOR YOU TONIGHT! Batista vs. Angle in a never before seen match! Never in the history of the WWE has Batista ever wrestled Angle! It hasn’t happened King! Never! Not once!
King: Never?!
JR: No never King! Not one time! I thought it may have, but then I was corrected!
King: Well JR, guess what else we have tonight, the most anticipated moment in Raw history! Edge vs. Lita!
JR: No wait, that’s Edge will marry Lita, King! And by gawd that’s never happened before! Never in the history of Raw! Not once! By gawd!
*John Cena’s Music*
JR: BY GAWD KING! The champion is currently in this location!!!
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
King: JR! Diva Search 2! Puppies!!!
JR: Not yet King.
Cena: Yo, Yo, YO, YO, YOOOO, ADRIAN!
*Two “Cena Sucks” signs appear which will never be seen again….*
Cena: I kinda see how it is here now. Last week, I was fighting in a tag team match. And then my partner jumped me. Then he rammed my head into the steel steps. Then he went home and he had sex with my girlfriend, and then he ran over my dog when he stole my car. But you know what, that’s cool, its kinda like the O.K. Coral around here, I like it!!!
JR: BY GAWD!
Cena: So you know what Jericho, if you want to have a match, then come get a match! Oh and I guess we’re still saying I have that feud with Christian too, so if you want to come to the ring and get some too, then I guess you can too.
*Mohammad’s Generic Arab Music*
Mohammad: Cena, I will come out here and make a very valid statement! My points will be precise and clear, and will make lots of sense! However some of the fans will chant USA and boo me for no apparent reason other then Vince told them too!
Cena: Stop right there! I gotta make a gay joke.
*Gay Joke*
Cena: Now it don’t matter if your Black, White, Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Chilean, Brazilian, or Russian, so long as you ain’t gay, you too can be part of the CHAIN GANG! So you know what you want some, lets do this right now, right here, in this very ring tonight!!!
*Eric Bischoff Music*
Eric: WOAH JOHN! I don’t know how you did it on Smackdown, but on Raw you just don’t get to make your own matches. So instead of you’re idea I have a better one. Instead of Cena vs. Hussan. It’s gonna be John Cena vs. Muhammad Hassan, TONIGHT!!!
Cena: Wait, that was what I said.
Eric: Really? Was it? Oh…. Then I’m sorry for interrupting. Um, wow, this is embarrassing. Well. Um. Okay.
JR: BY GAWD! Tonight! Mohammad Hassan vs. John Cena! This has never happened before in the history of wrestling! What a monumental Raw! Never before has raw been this historic! In fact it’s the first time in the history of Raw that Raw has had so many first times in the history of raw! BY GAWD!
Eric: I guess right now I’ll introduce the third pick in the Raw draft. But first I’d like to introduce the intercontinental champion, Shelton Benjamin!
*Ain’t No Playin Good Entrance Music NOOOO*
Eric: Now Shelton, you’ve been intercontinental champion a long time. In fact, I say that because I want to reflect on your championship reign. This way I can remind the fans of how big an upset I think It would be if you were to lose tonight, not of course that you would. Anyway, as I was saying….
Shelton: Eric, I know what you were gonna say. However, I’d like to say it slower, and make funny exaggerated faces while I do it, if you don’t mind.
King: PUPPIES!
*I spit in the face of ring music*
JR: By gawd! Its Caribbean Cool Carlito!
*Match Begins*
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
*Carlito goes to the outside. Shelton tries to jump over the ropes with a walking, not running head start*
JR: BY GAWD KING! Shelton just fell hard! We’ve never seen that before in the history of raw! Not against Carlito Cool Caribbean! Lets show that mistake on replay 5 times more then any successful move done the rest of the night!
*Rest of the match followed with an unfortunately unbalanced Shelton, slowing the match down considerably. Carlito rolls up Shelton, 1-2,3.*
King: Carlito is the new intercontinental champion! Can you believe it JR!
JR: BY GAWD WHAT A HISTORIC NIGHT! Another first on Raw! Cool Carlito Caribbean has just won the intercontinental championship for the first time on Raw on his first night! It’s another first!
*Backstage*
Maria: Carlito, they told me to ask you a really stupid question because contrary to popular belief, you can and should beat a dead horse, because it can’t sue you if it’s dead. So, ‘how did you do it’?
Carlito: Go get me an apple.
Maria: Even though we appear to be backstage in an arena, and by all accounts they’re shouldn’t be an apple within 1000 feet, I shall do that for you and return in a very timely manner.
*Carlito Spits Apple on Maria*
Carlito: Now that’s cool!
JR: Another Raw First! Maria has never had an apple spit on her before!
*Bad Porn Music*
King: It’s big Visc time!
JR: And here comes the 500 pound Viscera.
King: Look at the smile on Lillian’s face! JR have you ever seen someone so happy to be in another cheesy generic storyline?
JR: No King, in fact that’s the biggest smile we’ve ever seen on Raw! Another first!
Simon Dean: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I don’t even get entrance music anymore?! No seriously. I was Hollywood Nova! I can still do that Vince! Vince no the fans will love it I swear! No? Alright, um, Charles Barkley joke?
JR: WHAT THE!? YOU criminey jeezeING rear canal! CHARLES BARKLEY IS OUR FRIEND! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?
King: Geeze JR, calm down. I don’t think we’ve even met him. I definitely know he’s never appeared on the show before.
JR: NO HE’S OUR FRIEND KING! YOU DON’T MAKE JOKES ABOUT OUR FRIENDS!
*Match consisting of Viscera standing in the middle of the ring and Simon Dean running around*
JR: BY GAWD KING! The 500 pound Viscera is simulating anal rape of Simon Dean! Btw, this program is rated PG-14! IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!
Lillian: Viscera. I just wanted to tell you that we’re going to Vegas on Sunday. And your gonna get to play the slots, and you might even hit the jackpot!
King: OMG!
*Kings Head Explodes*
JR: Oh my gawd king! The adorable Lillian Garcia’s transformation into generic diva is almost complete! Another Raw First!
*King reattaches his head*
King: What’s next JR.
JR: We’ll king its time for the one thing that only you like and none of our fans care for.
King: Molesting minors?!
JR: Nope! Diva Search 2!
King: Puppies!
*Kings Head Explodes*
*Fast Forward*
Josh: Chris Jericho, now that your fighting for the WWE Title, does this mean that storyline we were gonna try about you losing interest is over?
Chris: Sure is. And you want to know why, cause it was weak. And weak storylines are immediately noticed and taken out of the rotation. If the fans don’t buy a storyline, you can’t force it down their throats Josh….
JR: Well it’s finally the moment we’ve all been waiting for… The Lita/Edge Wedding!!
*Edge Music*
Joan Rivers: And the groom arrives to his entrance music. That’s so classy, its something most men don’t do at their weddings anymore. He seems to be wearing the traditional cowboy hat with skull and crossbones with the matching tie! Very traditional. The rest of the outfit appears to be stolen from a pimp he mugged in downtown Phoenix. And of course the money in the bank briefcase, this plastic black one can be found at your local target for $19.95. Back to you JR.
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
*Actual wedding music, here comes the bride*
King: OH MY GOD JR! YOU CAN SEE PART OF LITA’S BREASTS! IM GOING TO MAKE A GIGANTIC DEAL OUT OF THIS!!!
JR: And look, her shoulder tattoo matches here shoes!
….
….
JR: BY GAWD KING! Another Raw First! I just said something that was actually funny!
Pope: Dearly beloved…
Crowd: very *friendly* person! very *friendly* person! very *friendly* person!
Pope: We are…
Crowd: We want matt! We want matt!
Pope: gathered here today…
Crowd: BOOOOORING! BOOOOORING!
Vince: Man, this storyline is really going over great. Figure out a way if we can extended it another year or so.
Snitsky: I have come up with a poem that uses the phrase ‘dead baby in your uterus’.
JR: ANOTHER RAW FIRST!!
Pope: If there is any reason why these two, should not be married…
*Matt Hardy Music Plays*
…
…
Edge: HAHAAHHA. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself!
*Somewhere, someplace, Matt Hardy has just purchased a firearm*
Pope: Well then we should just get on with this…. OMG!!
*Kane rips out from the floor*
Pope: JESUS CHRIST!
King: No actually I don’t think so.
Vince: Another religion offended! BAM!
*Kane destroys the set and slams a few potted plants around*
Vince: NO! NOT THE PLANTS! YOU’RE FIRED!!!
*Kane helps up the Pope, dusts him off, and then…*
JR: OH MY GAWD! KANE JUST TOMBSTONED THE POPE!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!!!
*Backstage*
Josh: Christy, I’m sure you remember a few months ago, when there were actual Women’s matches, and to top it off, a Women’s Championship. However since your arrival….
*Victoria kills Christy…. No wait, she’s breathing… damnit*
Josh: OMG! There’s fake blood on my hand! Quick, medic! MEDIC!
Medic: I’m a medic!
Josh: There’s fake blood on my hand!
Medic: Take two of the these, call me in the morning. Young lady. Can you tell me your name?
Josh: Hmm, Doc, I really think she’d have a hard time answering that one even before the attack.
Medic: Can she tell me where she is?
Josh: Oooh. She’s not good with locations Doc.
Medic: What color the sky is?
Josh: Ya that changes during the day, it can throw her off.
JR: Its time for a match king, John Cena vs. Moham…
Ref: 1-2-3.
JR: And John Cena wins King!
King: Exactly JR! What a great way to destroy an rising star!
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
JR: Good call King! This was an emphatic way of saying taking any legitimacy out of the Muhammad Hassan character! In fact the only way it could hurt the character more is if John Cena was then immediately beaten down by someone else… OH MY GAWD! Jericho has just destroyed Cena, and he’s holding the belt! John Cena and Jericho will go 1 on 1 at Vengeance this Sunday!
King: And Christian too JR. It’s a triple threat. Christian will be there.
JR: Who!? Hey King, lets give the fans some more of that Diva Search!
King: Great idea! Another 10 minutes of Diva Search will definitely squash the disappointment of a 2 minute match!
*Fast Forward*
Medic: What if we ask her how many fingers I’m holding up?
Josh: It can’t be anymore then two, or it’s not gonna work.
*Kurt Angle Ring Music*
JR: BY GAWD! We’ve never seen Kurt Angle in his wrestling gear here on raw before! Another first!
*Batista Ring Music*
King: Sure its Kurt Angle vs. Batista, JR, but I’ve got a question about if Batista can handle HHH at Vengeance even though it’s wildly out of place and unnecessary.
JR: Well King. I don’t know. HHH is undefeated in Hell in a Cell matches. And Batista isn’t doing Stephanie McMahon. I don’t see how the odds stack in Batista’s favor. Anyway, this should be a great match! Angle is a great mat wrestler, and always puts on great matches so long as….
*HHH Interference*
JR: BY GAWD! Triple H has never interfered in a match between Batista and Angle before! This is a first!
King: And look JR! It seems to have been planned all along! Kurt Angle is working with HHH despite that it makes absolutely no sense story wise!
JR: BY GAWD!
Eric Bischoff: No! No! No! We’re not ending the match this way!
JR: Good call Bischoff! Continue the match, it shouldn’t end in interference.
Eric: Actually I don’t mind that so much. But we did run two diva search segments, so, we have to condense things. So why not thro HBK in there, and then bam, two matches for vengeance promoted in one 5 minute span, genius!
King: More time for puppies JR!!!
*HHH and Flair take turns banging HBK’s legs into the steel post*
JR: OMG King, Triple H just… he just… no wait, Flair I mean…
King: Well Triple H just took care of Shawn’s left leg, then Triple H took care of the right one.
JR: No, wait, you mean Triple H took care of the left, then HBK took care of the right.
King: Wait I thought Flair got his left leg, and then Batista took care of the right….
JR: HBK makes the tag King! And there goes Batista! Batista has just hit 80 moves in a row on the game! The game hasn’t landed a punch King! BY GAWD it’s a sloberknocker! The game is totally being outmatched and destroyed! Flair distracts Batista! The game with a pedigree out of nowhere!
Ref: 1-2-3!
JR: By GAWD King! The game won the match with the pedigree! He never even hit Batista with another shot! Another raw first!
King: Don’t forget JR, there’s a great PPV Sunday!
JR: Vengeance is this Sunday folks! $39.99 is now what it costs for a show with matches that total more then 20 minutes in length!
King: Oh, ya… Vengeance… um, ya that PPV I meant…..
(Credit to jevman at the Wrestlecrap board)
Fireworks Explode, Fans Holding Up Signs, Camera Zooming Back And Forth Very Fast
JR: WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW! BY GAWD WE’VE GOT A SLOBERKNOCKER FOR YOU TONIGHT! Batista vs. Angle in a never before seen match! Never in the history of the WWE has Batista ever wrestled Angle! It hasn’t happened King! Never! Not once!
King: Never?!
JR: No never King! Not one time! I thought it may have, but then I was corrected!
King: Well JR, guess what else we have tonight, the most anticipated moment in Raw history! Edge vs. Lita!
JR: No wait, that’s Edge will marry Lita, King! And by gawd that’s never happened before! Never in the history of Raw! Not once! By gawd!
*John Cena’s Music*
JR: BY GAWD KING! The champion is currently in this location!!!
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
King: JR! Diva Search 2! Puppies!!!
JR: Not yet King.
Cena: Yo, Yo, YO, YO, YOOOO, ADRIAN!
*Two “Cena Sucks” signs appear which will never be seen again….*
Cena: I kinda see how it is here now. Last week, I was fighting in a tag team match. And then my partner jumped me. Then he rammed my head into the steel steps. Then he went home and he had sex with my girlfriend, and then he ran over my dog when he stole my car. But you know what, that’s cool, its kinda like the O.K. Coral around here, I like it!!!
JR: BY GAWD!
Cena: So you know what Jericho, if you want to have a match, then come get a match! Oh and I guess we’re still saying I have that feud with Christian too, so if you want to come to the ring and get some too, then I guess you can too.
*Mohammad’s Generic Arab Music*
Mohammad: Cena, I will come out here and make a very valid statement! My points will be precise and clear, and will make lots of sense! However some of the fans will chant USA and boo me for no apparent reason other then Vince told them too!
Cena: Stop right there! I gotta make a gay joke.
*Gay Joke*
Cena: Now it don’t matter if your Black, White, Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Chilean, Brazilian, or Russian, so long as you ain’t gay, you too can be part of the CHAIN GANG! So you know what you want some, lets do this right now, right here, in this very ring tonight!!!
*Eric Bischoff Music*
Eric: WOAH JOHN! I don’t know how you did it on Smackdown, but on Raw you just don’t get to make your own matches. So instead of you’re idea I have a better one. Instead of Cena vs. Hussan. It’s gonna be John Cena vs. Muhammad Hassan, TONIGHT!!!
Cena: Wait, that was what I said.
Eric: Really? Was it? Oh…. Then I’m sorry for interrupting. Um, wow, this is embarrassing. Well. Um. Okay.
JR: BY GAWD! Tonight! Mohammad Hassan vs. John Cena! This has never happened before in the history of wrestling! What a monumental Raw! Never before has raw been this historic! In fact it’s the first time in the history of Raw that Raw has had so many first times in the history of raw! BY GAWD!
Eric: I guess right now I’ll introduce the third pick in the Raw draft. But first I’d like to introduce the intercontinental champion, Shelton Benjamin!
*Ain’t No Playin Good Entrance Music NOOOO*
Eric: Now Shelton, you’ve been intercontinental champion a long time. In fact, I say that because I want to reflect on your championship reign. This way I can remind the fans of how big an upset I think It would be if you were to lose tonight, not of course that you would. Anyway, as I was saying….
Shelton: Eric, I know what you were gonna say. However, I’d like to say it slower, and make funny exaggerated faces while I do it, if you don’t mind.
King: PUPPIES!
*I spit in the face of ring music*
JR: By gawd! Its Caribbean Cool Carlito!
*Match Begins*
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
*Carlito goes to the outside. Shelton tries to jump over the ropes with a walking, not running head start*
JR: BY GAWD KING! Shelton just fell hard! We’ve never seen that before in the history of raw! Not against Carlito Cool Caribbean! Lets show that mistake on replay 5 times more then any successful move done the rest of the night!
*Rest of the match followed with an unfortunately unbalanced Shelton, slowing the match down considerably. Carlito rolls up Shelton, 1-2,3.*
King: Carlito is the new intercontinental champion! Can you believe it JR!
JR: BY GAWD WHAT A HISTORIC NIGHT! Another first on Raw! Cool Carlito Caribbean has just won the intercontinental championship for the first time on Raw on his first night! It’s another first!
*Backstage*
Maria: Carlito, they told me to ask you a really stupid question because contrary to popular belief, you can and should beat a dead horse, because it can’t sue you if it’s dead. So, ‘how did you do it’?
Carlito: Go get me an apple.
Maria: Even though we appear to be backstage in an arena, and by all accounts they’re shouldn’t be an apple within 1000 feet, I shall do that for you and return in a very timely manner.
*Carlito Spits Apple on Maria*
Carlito: Now that’s cool!
JR: Another Raw First! Maria has never had an apple spit on her before!
*Bad Porn Music*
King: It’s big Visc time!
JR: And here comes the 500 pound Viscera.
King: Look at the smile on Lillian’s face! JR have you ever seen someone so happy to be in another cheesy generic storyline?
JR: No King, in fact that’s the biggest smile we’ve ever seen on Raw! Another first!
Simon Dean: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I don’t even get entrance music anymore?! No seriously. I was Hollywood Nova! I can still do that Vince! Vince no the fans will love it I swear! No? Alright, um, Charles Barkley joke?
JR: WHAT THE!? YOU criminey jeezeING rear canal! CHARLES BARKLEY IS OUR FRIEND! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?
King: Geeze JR, calm down. I don’t think we’ve even met him. I definitely know he’s never appeared on the show before.
JR: NO HE’S OUR FRIEND KING! YOU DON’T MAKE JOKES ABOUT OUR FRIENDS!
*Match consisting of Viscera standing in the middle of the ring and Simon Dean running around*
JR: BY GAWD KING! The 500 pound Viscera is simulating anal rape of Simon Dean! Btw, this program is rated PG-14! IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!
Lillian: Viscera. I just wanted to tell you that we’re going to Vegas on Sunday. And your gonna get to play the slots, and you might even hit the jackpot!
King: OMG!
*Kings Head Explodes*
JR: Oh my gawd king! The adorable Lillian Garcia’s transformation into generic diva is almost complete! Another Raw First!
*King reattaches his head*
King: What’s next JR.
JR: We’ll king its time for the one thing that only you like and none of our fans care for.
King: Molesting minors?!
JR: Nope! Diva Search 2!
King: Puppies!
*Kings Head Explodes*
*Fast Forward*
Josh: Chris Jericho, now that your fighting for the WWE Title, does this mean that storyline we were gonna try about you losing interest is over?
Chris: Sure is. And you want to know why, cause it was weak. And weak storylines are immediately noticed and taken out of the rotation. If the fans don’t buy a storyline, you can’t force it down their throats Josh….
JR: Well it’s finally the moment we’ve all been waiting for… The Lita/Edge Wedding!!
*Edge Music*
Joan Rivers: And the groom arrives to his entrance music. That’s so classy, its something most men don’t do at their weddings anymore. He seems to be wearing the traditional cowboy hat with skull and crossbones with the matching tie! Very traditional. The rest of the outfit appears to be stolen from a pimp he mugged in downtown Phoenix. And of course the money in the bank briefcase, this plastic black one can be found at your local target for $19.95. Back to you JR.
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
*Actual wedding music, here comes the bride*
King: OH MY GOD JR! YOU CAN SEE PART OF LITA’S BREASTS! IM GOING TO MAKE A GIGANTIC DEAL OUT OF THIS!!!
JR: And look, her shoulder tattoo matches here shoes!
….
….
JR: BY GAWD KING! Another Raw First! I just said something that was actually funny!
Pope: Dearly beloved…
Crowd: very *friendly* person! very *friendly* person! very *friendly* person!
Pope: We are…
Crowd: We want matt! We want matt!
Pope: gathered here today…
Crowd: BOOOOORING! BOOOOORING!
Vince: Man, this storyline is really going over great. Figure out a way if we can extended it another year or so.
Snitsky: I have come up with a poem that uses the phrase ‘dead baby in your uterus’.
JR: ANOTHER RAW FIRST!!
Pope: If there is any reason why these two, should not be married…
*Matt Hardy Music Plays*
…
…
Edge: HAHAAHHA. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself!
*Somewhere, someplace, Matt Hardy has just purchased a firearm*
Pope: Well then we should just get on with this…. OMG!!
*Kane rips out from the floor*
Pope: JESUS CHRIST!
King: No actually I don’t think so.
Vince: Another religion offended! BAM!
*Kane destroys the set and slams a few potted plants around*
Vince: NO! NOT THE PLANTS! YOU’RE FIRED!!!
*Kane helps up the Pope, dusts him off, and then…*
JR: OH MY GAWD! KANE JUST TOMBSTONED THE POPE!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!!!
*Backstage*
Josh: Christy, I’m sure you remember a few months ago, when there were actual Women’s matches, and to top it off, a Women’s Championship. However since your arrival….
*Victoria kills Christy…. No wait, she’s breathing… damnit*
Josh: OMG! There’s fake blood on my hand! Quick, medic! MEDIC!
Medic: I’m a medic!
Josh: There’s fake blood on my hand!
Medic: Take two of the these, call me in the morning. Young lady. Can you tell me your name?
Josh: Hmm, Doc, I really think she’d have a hard time answering that one even before the attack.
Medic: Can she tell me where she is?
Josh: Oooh. She’s not good with locations Doc.
Medic: What color the sky is?
Josh: Ya that changes during the day, it can throw her off.
JR: Its time for a match king, John Cena vs. Moham…
Ref: 1-2-3.
JR: And John Cena wins King!
King: Exactly JR! What a great way to destroy an rising star!
*camera zooms in on three random women in the front row*
JR: Good call King! This was an emphatic way of saying taking any legitimacy out of the Muhammad Hassan character! In fact the only way it could hurt the character more is if John Cena was then immediately beaten down by someone else… OH MY GAWD! Jericho has just destroyed Cena, and he’s holding the belt! John Cena and Jericho will go 1 on 1 at Vengeance this Sunday!
King: And Christian too JR. It’s a triple threat. Christian will be there.
JR: Who!? Hey King, lets give the fans some more of that Diva Search!
King: Great idea! Another 10 minutes of Diva Search will definitely squash the disappointment of a 2 minute match!
*Fast Forward*
Medic: What if we ask her how many fingers I’m holding up?
Josh: It can’t be anymore then two, or it’s not gonna work.
*Kurt Angle Ring Music*
JR: BY GAWD! We’ve never seen Kurt Angle in his wrestling gear here on raw before! Another first!
*Batista Ring Music*
King: Sure its Kurt Angle vs. Batista, JR, but I’ve got a question about if Batista can handle HHH at Vengeance even though it’s wildly out of place and unnecessary.
JR: Well King. I don’t know. HHH is undefeated in Hell in a Cell matches. And Batista isn’t doing Stephanie McMahon. I don’t see how the odds stack in Batista’s favor. Anyway, this should be a great match! Angle is a great mat wrestler, and always puts on great matches so long as….
*HHH Interference*
JR: BY GAWD! Triple H has never interfered in a match between Batista and Angle before! This is a first!
King: And look JR! It seems to have been planned all along! Kurt Angle is working with HHH despite that it makes absolutely no sense story wise!
JR: BY GAWD!
Eric Bischoff: No! No! No! We’re not ending the match this way!
JR: Good call Bischoff! Continue the match, it shouldn’t end in interference.
Eric: Actually I don’t mind that so much. But we did run two diva search segments, so, we have to condense things. So why not thro HBK in there, and then bam, two matches for vengeance promoted in one 5 minute span, genius!
King: More time for puppies JR!!!
*HHH and Flair take turns banging HBK’s legs into the steel post*
JR: OMG King, Triple H just… he just… no wait, Flair I mean…
King: Well Triple H just took care of Shawn’s left leg, then Triple H took care of the right one.
JR: No, wait, you mean Triple H took care of the left, then HBK took care of the right.
King: Wait I thought Flair got his left leg, and then Batista took care of the right….
JR: HBK makes the tag King! And there goes Batista! Batista has just hit 80 moves in a row on the game! The game hasn’t landed a punch King! BY GAWD it’s a sloberknocker! The game is totally being outmatched and destroyed! Flair distracts Batista! The game with a pedigree out of nowhere!
Ref: 1-2-3!
JR: By GAWD King! The game won the match with the pedigree! He never even hit Batista with another shot! Another raw first!
King: Don’t forget JR, there’s a great PPV Sunday!
JR: Vengeance is this Sunday folks! $39.99 is now what it costs for a show with matches that total more then 20 minutes in length!
King: Oh, ya… Vengeance… um, ya that PPV I meant…..
mightynine
Member
That's a good line.
I'm assuming they went ahead and rubbed Matt's face in it because of the recent clip of him shooting and then running over a picture of Lita. Either way, it was a pretty assholish thing to do. Then again, it makes me realize why I'm a wrestling fan in the first place...I just love how petty and vengeful everyone is. It's like standard operating procedure for these scumbags.
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