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[Drinky Crow]

http://www.buffalobeast.com/66/50mostLoathsome2004.htm -- funny read. Only somewhat non-partisan -- Dubya makes it in at 6, while Kerry makes it in at 5 -- but let's face it, modern conservatives have a bit of a monopoly on arch, venal, selfish shitheeldom.

 

[Matlock]

HEY HEY YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF COLLEGE IS?? YOU GET TO HANG OUT IN PEOPLE'S ROOMS, MAN WE SAID ALL THESE FUNNY NON-SEQUITURS AND I HAD A RED BULL AND THIS GIRL LAUGHED OGH MAN IT ROCKED!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dead]

32. Lynndie England

Crimes: The ultimate “ugly American,” England represents everything people hate about us—ignorance, perversion, racism, and denial. The most authentic trailer trash to enter the public spotlight since Anna Nicole, complete with illegitimate baby by an abusive ex-boyfriend and experience in the meat processing industry. Described by her no doubt horrific mother as having been “in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Smoking Gun: The pictures, duh.

Punishment: Gang-raped and devoured alive by all of the hysterical Republican pundits who defended her.

heh, nicely put

 

[Drensch]

I'm not gonna argue with that list much. I'd get tired of punching people before I got done with #50.

 

[border]

What'd Matlock's original post say? hehe

Joan Rivers:
"As a pioneer in facial reconstruction, she shows us that, in the future, every famous woman will gradually turn into a cross between a sickly geisha and the Joker"

:lol :lol

 

[Drinky Crow]

He was whining about what a loathesome meanie I am. And indeed I am.

 

[Guzim]

When I first saw Matt Sharp, I thought it was about the musician :lol :lol :lol

 

[border]

These guys really have a knack for putting into words the dislikable things that previously seemed unexpressable:

George W Bush
"Appears to be only dimly aware that he is destroying the future, but seems to think it’s kind of funny."

Dick Cheney
"So visibly evil that all of the documented evidence against him is superfluous."

 

[Ignatz Mouse]

#3 is perfect.

 

[Drinky Crow]

Yeah, 3 bears repeating:

3. You
Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You can’t stop buying useless crap, though you’re drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think you’re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your country’s foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can’t wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can’t think, you can’t organize and you won’t act. This is all your fault.

Smoking Gun: You’re fat.

Punishment: You’re soaking in it.

 

[Matlock]

He was whining about what a loathesome meanie I am. And indeed I am.

It wasn't exactly a whine: and red bull is piss.

 

[norinrad21]

39. Tom Cruise

Crimes: Inexplicable stardom. In a just world, Brendan Fraser would get an Oscar before this carbon copy of every other rich asshole cokehead with a fast car. Consistently influential in casting women in his movie for the sole purpose of nailing them. Extremely convincing when he plays an ambitious, superficial prick.

Smoking Gun: Always plays an ambitious, superficial prick.

Punishment: Caught in the act with Vin Diesel.


:lol :lol :lol

 

[Musashi Wins!]

#3 is a brilliant little rant. Great list, all around.

 

[levious]

47. 50 Cent

Crimes: Sole credential for being a rapper, aside from his affiliation with Dr. Dre, is having been shot several times. Spent his first record company advance on crack to sell. Can barely talk, let alone rap. Represents the worst aspect of urban culture, its tendency to collapse in on itself in an orgy of mobsterism and self-destructive spending. Obnoxious tendency to pull out large wads of cash and wave them around in people’s faces (not a figure of speech).

Smoking Gun: Ugliest rapper to make it since Biggie.

Punishment: Getting his ass kicked by Will Smith.

I'm guessing the ugliness of Craig Mack is still underrated.

 

[Chipopo]

46. Colin Quinn

Crimes: Least funny SNL alum since Joe Piscopo (at least Tim Meadows can speak English). Blamed cancellation of his awful show on reverse racism, ignoring his pathetic ratings, stumbling speech and the fact that his entire C-list entourage couldn’t beat Pamela Anderson at Trivial Pursuit.

Smoking Gun: Pontificated at length on the nature of comedy in Seinfeld’s yawn-fest Comedian.

Punishment: Stash of white supremacist literature and nun-porn discovered in high profile cocaine bust.

:lol *applause*

 

[DarienA]

15. Condoleezza Rice

Crimes: The phrase “politics is show business for ugly people” has never had so fine a foil. Smirks condescendingly at senior Senators when they ask her silly questions about gross negligence in the area of national security. Winner of the Beast award for most likely to make Grover Norquist’s dick hard. Promoted for feverishly licking Cheney’s boot for four years.

Smoking Gun: Gets to sleep in the big house now.

Punishment: thrown into the arctic from the Exxon oil tanker that used to bear her name.



Oh and levious? At least Craig Mack had talent... even if he could barely talk too.

 

[border]

When did Quinn blame his cancellation on reverse racism? That doesn't make any sense...

 

[levious]

Oh and levious? At least Craig Mack had talent... even if he could barely talk too.

Oh I loved Craig Mack, best thing out of Bad Boy to me... but he was beyond ugly. 50 cent is not in the same league.

 

[Chipopo]

Border, I just did a quick Google and didn't find a damn thing. All well, a Quinn ribbing is still always A+ in my book.

 

[MIMIC]

Bullshit. Ellen DeGeneres shouldn't be on there.

 

[Apharmd Battler]

funny list........

 

[demon]

18. Mel Gibson

Punishment: Neurodegenerative illness that could have been cured through stem cell research.

23. Jerry Bruckheimer

Smoking Gun: Who brings a fucking Gatling gun to an asteroid?

Punishment: Made into shoes for Martin Scorsese.

:lol

 

[demon]

Btw, why isn't Karl Rove on the list?

 

[Ristamar]

Yeah, 3 bears repeating:

Dammit, I'm not fat. Just lazy.

Btw, why isn't Karl Rove on the list?

Excellent question.

 

[lexy]

39. Tom Cruise

Crimes: Inexplicable stardom. In a just world, Brendan Fraser would get an Oscar before this carbon copy of every other rich asshole cokehead with a fast car. Consistently influential in casting women in his movie for the sole purpose of nailing them. Extremely convincing when he plays an ambitious, superficial prick.

Smoking Gun: Always plays an ambitious, superficial prick.

Punishment: Caught in the act with Vin Diesel.



On point. :lol

 

[Socreges]

Btw, why isn't Karl Rove on the list?

Maybe he isn't popular enough? The list is really The Top 50 Most Loathesome Americans That You've Probably Heard Of.

24. Ronald Reagan

Crimes: The greatest monster in recent American history. Reagan’s excruciating sanctification during his agonizingly protracted funeral was enough to make anyone with knowledge of his true legacy blow up a radio tower. Newspaper columnists performed astonishing feats of selective memory in canonizing Reagan, disregarding any inconvenient evidence of supporting terrorism, ripping off taxpayers for outrageous defense programs, or introducing crack cocaine to America, because we need our heroes.

Smoking Gun: Responsible for telemarketing and infomercials.

Punishment: Reanimated and killed again.

Nice.

 

[demon]

Maybe he isn't popular enough? The list is really The Top 50 Most Loathesome Americans That You've Probably Heard Of.

I've never heard of at least half of those people.

 

[Socreges]

I've never heard of at least half of those people.

Well, then The Top 50 Most Loathesome Americans That You've Probably Heard Of If You're Cool.