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Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

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Juicy Bob

Member
Don't use Tinder.

I was a 22-year-old virgin and accidentally ended up meeting my current partner of three years randomly in a pub on a night out, completely unintentionally.

Moral is, put yourself in positions where you can meet women. The more you meet, the better the odds of meeting someone you're compatible with for the right reasons.
 

efyu_lemonardo

May I have a cookie?
Oh, they're not dating material. Not bad to go clubbing with though, lol.

She thought potatoes were animals. She tried cutting a raw potato with a butter knife and when she couldn't, said "I can't cut it. Do potatoes have bones?"

In that case I wouldn't consider this person clubbing material either.
 

IconGrist

Member
I'm 5'9". Can confirm getting passed over for taller guys. Most of the women I date tend to be like 5' give or take. Not on purpose. Just how it works out mostly. I seem like a giant to them so it works out.
 
It's okay for women to write off a guy based on height something no one can control, but the moment the guy says she's too heavy for him, he's labeled as a shallow pig.

But yeah, looking for a meaningful relationship off Tinder 99% of the time isn't going to get you very far.
 

Aiustis

Member
Does it have the same effect all genders?

Definitely not. I'm female 8/10 times I swipe right, I match. I'm pretty average looking.

Edit:

And the odds are stacked against women on tinder who are looking for healthy long term relationships.

I met a few guys that I hit it off pretty well with. Some good gamer friends mostly, but then again I only pick guys with bios.
 
T

Transhuman

Unconfirmed Member
It's almost as if men aren't used to being treated like pieces of meat or something.

Super strange.
 
Have no clue why someone would go through the trouble of online dating when it's so easy to meet women IRL if you live in or near any decent sized city.

Convenience. I don't even have to leave my house on a lazy Wednesday night to set up a fun time on Saturday.

Truth be told, I don't even try to talk to women at bars anymore. What's the point? Pissing money away on overpriced drinks on the slim chance that a woman can actually hear me over the DJ, isn't already in a relationship, thinks I'm her type, is willing to drop what she's doing to have a 20 minute conversation (or random dance) with a total stranger, and is actually interesting/nice vs meeting up with a known quantity at a place of your choosing. It's obvious why online dating is popular. Tinder just streamlined the process to its bare necessities.
 

Jokab

Member
But yeah, looking for a meaningful relationship off Tinder 99% of the time isn't going to get you very far.
Not true. There are plenty of people looking for that kind of relationship on Tinder. It's just that many of them are down for casual hookups too, while searching for that one person.
 

SuperSah

Banned
I think in the 2 years of owning Tinder, only a maximum of 20 people matched me back and about two actually spoke to me and they went nowhere.

I'm 20, I don't think I look THAT bad so yeah, it kinda does damage esteem. It seems most girls go for this generic type of guy to fit in with their buddies and so forth.
 
Its great being 6'4" and being able to naturally rest your head on top of your wife's when hugging.

Sorry short guys, you are only going to shrink as you get older.
 
Not true. There are plenty of people looking for that kind of relationship on Tinder. It's just that many of them are down for casual hookups too, while searching for that one person.

When the app was branded to be a bang and dash sort of proposition, it's kind of hard to get beyond that stigma.

The short time I was on Tinder a few years ago, the majority of the women were just looking for something casual, no strings attached, etc.
 

Chuckie

Member
So how does he know it was his height that caused the rejections? Maybe his profile pic was this:

8Lj9iWA.jpg


Genuine question. I have no idea how Tinder works. I am old.
 
Call me old fashioned but meeting potential partners in the real world can't be beaten. I like to pretend there is magic, fate etc. involved. You don't really get that with online. All the power to those who are married through it. But it's not for me. Which is ironic as I am quite introverted and internet addicted person, but internet dating doesn't appeal to me at all.
 

Jokab

Member
When the app was branded to be a bang and dash sort of proposition, it's kind of hard to get beyond that stigma.

The short time I was on Tinder a few years ago, the majority of the women were just looking for something casual, no strings attached, etc.

What stigma are you talking about?

I've went out with 8 women from Tinder. Three of them I simply didn't click with. Four of them I dated for a longer time. Some of them I met their friends, but in the end it just didn't work out. It was never "I was only looking for something short", it was "we just aren't that compatible".

The last one is my girlfriend of 8 months now.

You're talking to the wrong girls if you think everyone is looking for casual hookups.
 
True, but we are talking about Tindr and the fact is to most women it's not a "hook-up app" it's just another dating app.

To most girls around my age and location it's definitely a hook-up app. At minimum a "let's go out drinking/come out drinking with me" app.
 

Hubbl3

Unconfirmed Member
I'm 5'10" ... not a giant by any means (my brothers all cleared 6' :*( ), but I've done alright with online dating. I've never used Tinder though because it seems a little too shallow for me (ironic, I know), but I remember the first girl I met on eharmony specifically telling me she was excited to come across my profile to finally find a guy that was taller than her (she was like 5'7").

I met the current lady friend through online dating as well, so it's not completely impossible for us "short" guys to get a chance.
 

marrec

Banned
Anyone basing their self-esteem on an Tinder is too fragile for the real world.

That said, I do feel sorry for my tiny bros, reading profiles on Tinder and half the chicks on there will have "must be over 6ft" on their profile.
 
Whenever I read these things, I always think: And how many girls did you swipe left that didn't fall into your expectations? It works both ways buddy.
 
Tinder gets a lot of hate but it has worked well for me. I am 34 and after getting divorced I wanted to try a dating app. It seemed so much easier than when I was dating 12 years prior and the easier form of rejection seemed appealing. I also do not like awkward situations so I have difficulty asking a girl out in person, especially if I do not know them. I met a girl withing the first couple days and we dated for about a month it was fun but no substance. I then met another girl who I ended up becoming good friends with and I still keep in touch with today. I then moved back to Charleston, SC where the hot girl ratio is stupid high (thanks College of Charleston) and I actually paid for one month of unlimited swipes because it was overwhelming compared to my small city. I went on 3 dates one week. I couldn't stand the first girl and bailed after 1 drink. Saw an Amy Schumer show with girl #2 but was not physically attracted to her or the chemistry was off even though the banter was good. My third date is my current girlfriend of over 3 months who I adore. She lives 90 minutes away. It is superficial, to begin with. I definitely picked her due to her cat eyes and cute pics but we had a good conversation through text for a week before our first date.

I don't see Tinder as a hookup app. It is a convenient and mostly free way to meet so more people than you could in normal situations. If it were not for that app there is no way I could have meet my girl (in a town I never heard of and just texted me good morning !). I fully support their Cupid abilities.
 
What stigma are you talking about?

I've went out with 8 women from Tinder. Three of them I simply didn't click with. Four of them I dated for a longer time. Some of them I met their friends, but in the end it just didn't work out. It was never "I was only looking for something short", it was "we just aren't that compatible".

The last one is my girlfriend of 8 months now.

You're talking to the wrong girls if you think everyone is looking for casual hookups.

Did you think maybe you're an exception?
 

Jacknapes

Member
Never had any luck on Tinder, moved over to a site called Plenty of Fish. Within weeks, had 3 dates lined up and found someone special through it.

Tinder, most of the "women" on there seemed to be bots.
 
It's basically the same phenomenon people have witnessed and heavily discussed with regard to conversation and manners on forums. When you have geographical distance and anonymity protecting you, and you also can't see the other person's reaction to your words, you're more likely to be disrespectful.

True. But people can choose to hold on to certain values.
Maybe Tinder isn't the way to go then in the frist place.

Ofcourse some of those people are on Tinder and will possibly find a good match.
I'm talking in general here.
 

Daft Bird

Member
It's tough for shorties out there. However a benefit is Tinder showed me that a certain type of girl is into me. Black hair short and slightly overweight. Too bad for me I like blondes 😭
 

efyu_lemonardo

May I have a cookie?
Whenever I read these things, I always think: And how many girls did you swipe left that didn't fall into your expectations? It works both ways buddy.
I'd actually be really interested to see some broader statistics on this, because the heaps of anecdotal evidence I've encountered suggest women are much more desirable than men online.
 
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