From the desk of Robert A. Kotick
Door Opens
Executive: Hey, [NOT BOBBY KOTICK]:, you know that Tony Hawk game we put out last year?
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Yeah, I think so. That the one with the skateboard?
Executive: *sighs* Yeah, that's the one.
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: How did that one sell?
Executive: Really? It sold like crap. Turns out people don't want to buy another f*cking plastic thing to clutter their living rooms with. Go figure.
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Huh, I was sure that giving the franchise to those guys over at Robomodo was a good idea. Neversoft looked bored with it anyway. How did their latest Guitar Hero game sell?
Executive: *sighs*
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Oh, right. Anyway, what have you got for me today?
Executive: Well, we're working with those fine folk over at Robomodo on a new game in the franchise using that skateboard controller. We have to get that thing moving off the shelves somehow.
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Ok, what's this one called?
Executive: Tony Hawk - Shred. It's coming out October 26th on Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360. We're not going to be aiming it at fans of the franchise this time. This one is solely for kids
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Good idea! If we try to sell it to people who don't know any better, then we're bound to get a couple more sales out of it. We'll even sell it at the same price as the last game!
Executive: Sure, sounds great!
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Wonderful! So, what's new in this one?
Executive: Well, the team at Robomodo have been working like crazy making both the game and the controller at least more responsive, and they've gone and added Snowboarding to it!
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Does Tony Hawk even snowboard?
Executive: Who the f*ck cares?
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Point taken. Well, thanks for coming to see me. Thank the folks at Robomodo for trying to get at least some fun out of that controller, and fire several of them.
Executive: Right away sir. Can I put my pants back on?
[NOT BOBBY KOTICK]: Go ahead. Send in the next guy! [Pause] Hey there Mr. Dyack, how's that X-men game coming along...
Memo ends here
[Thanks for the thread title Jocchan. Thanks Activision, for running this franchise into the ground. You jerks.]
Y2Kev's Special Section;
And
End Section
Go about your lives.