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Toonami |Mar15| the smartest anime is back!
- Thread starter Seda
- Start date
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I don't think Gintama would make it past the first 20 or so episodes on Toonami, and I love the series.
That show takes so long to get going for so many people the Toonami audience would eat it alive.
Sword Art Online Episode 23: Bonds
In which it wasn't all that bad this time... relatively.
So we start where the last episode ended. Kazuto is outide Suguha's door. He thinks back to how he first found out he wasn't Suguha's brother, and wonders if the resulting feeling of not really belonging is what drew him to online games. Now he wonders how he's going to help Suguha. He tells her to meet him in-game.
Suguha logs back in, and Leafa runs into Recon. Apparently he poisoned all the Salamanders who captured him and got away. He asks her about that Spriggan and she says she said some rough things and she probably won't see him again. Recon says he would never leave her like that, and confesses his undying love to Suguha, and tries to kiss her.
She punches him in the stomach really hard.
Recon says he thought all he had to do was confess his feelings and everything would be great, and she calls him a moron, but then laughs and says she could learn a thing or two from him. Leafa goes and meets Kirito at a terrace. She says they should finish what they started, and then they get ready to duel again, except in the game instead of with kendo sticks and no holding back this time. They fight some, with Suguha trying and failing to hold back tears half the time. Then they both rush each other... and they both drop their swords. They were both trying to throw the duel I guess.
They both apologize to each other. Kirito says he never really left the game because Asuna never woke up, and that's why he wasn't able to connect with Suguha really. He has to save Asuna, and Suguha says it doesn't matter how long it takes, she'll be waiting for him to come back to "us". Wait, who da fuck is "us"? I haven't seen y'all have adult supervision this whole damn time.
So whatever. We're back in front of the doors to the world tree, and Leafa tells Recon that the three of them are going to do this raid. The two of them are going to back up Kirito. Then Recon says something like "well I guess I better since we're destined to be together forever", which may be the first genuine laugh I ever got from an SAO joke. I dunno, maybe just something about the delivery got me, maybe I just was desperate for an escape from this garbage incest plot. So Kirito, Leafa, Recon and Yui all do that thing where they put their hands in the center because go team (though Yui actually just sits on top of the hands on account of she's tiny.)
So they go in and Kirito tries to make his way to the top with Leafa and Recon healing him. It's not going too well, then Recon asks Leafa if this raid is even important. She says yes, it's not even really a game anymore. Then Recon says I'm going to help you help this Spriggan and does a huge dark magic spell which sacrifices his life to blow a big hole in the enemy lines. Kirito heads for the hole, but the gap closes and he gets stabbed a bunch of times.
Things look bad when suddenly the sylph and cat people arrive. The cat people are even riding fucking dragons for some reason, and they all join the battle to repay Kirito for saving their factions. Leafa throws Kirito her sword and shouts for him to goooooo!
He puts her sword on top of his and does some kind of big attack that looks like a discount drill to pierce the heavens, and he manages to bust through the enemy lines and reach the door at the top of the area. The gap closes behind him and everyone else falls back.
Kirito tries to open the door, but nothing's happening. Yui investigates and it turns out the door isn't even linked to a quest flag, it has to be opened by admin access. Luckily they happen to have this keycard Asuna dropped so they use it to open the door which begins to teleport them as the episode ends.
In which it wasn't all that bad this time... relatively.
So we start where the last episode ended. Kazuto is outide Suguha's door. He thinks back to how he first found out he wasn't Suguha's brother, and wonders if the resulting feeling of not really belonging is what drew him to online games. Now he wonders how he's going to help Suguha. He tells her to meet him in-game.
Suguha logs back in, and Leafa runs into Recon. Apparently he poisoned all the Salamanders who captured him and got away. He asks her about that Spriggan and she says she said some rough things and she probably won't see him again. Recon says he would never leave her like that, and confesses his undying love to Suguha, and tries to kiss her.
She punches him in the stomach really hard.
Recon says he thought all he had to do was confess his feelings and everything would be great, and she calls him a moron, but then laughs and says she could learn a thing or two from him. Leafa goes and meets Kirito at a terrace. She says they should finish what they started, and then they get ready to duel again, except in the game instead of with kendo sticks and no holding back this time. They fight some, with Suguha trying and failing to hold back tears half the time. Then they both rush each other... and they both drop their swords. They were both trying to throw the duel I guess.
They both apologize to each other. Kirito says he never really left the game because Asuna never woke up, and that's why he wasn't able to connect with Suguha really. He has to save Asuna, and Suguha says it doesn't matter how long it takes, she'll be waiting for him to come back to "us". Wait, who da fuck is "us"? I haven't seen y'all have adult supervision this whole damn time.
So whatever. We're back in front of the doors to the world tree, and Leafa tells Recon that the three of them are going to do this raid. The two of them are going to back up Kirito. Then Recon says something like "well I guess I better since we're destined to be together forever", which may be the first genuine laugh I ever got from an SAO joke. I dunno, maybe just something about the delivery got me, maybe I just was desperate for an escape from this garbage incest plot. So Kirito, Leafa, Recon and Yui all do that thing where they put their hands in the center because go team (though Yui actually just sits on top of the hands on account of she's tiny.)
So they go in and Kirito tries to make his way to the top with Leafa and Recon healing him. It's not going too well, then Recon asks Leafa if this raid is even important. She says yes, it's not even really a game anymore. Then Recon says I'm going to help you help this Spriggan and does a huge dark magic spell which sacrifices his life to blow a big hole in the enemy lines. Kirito heads for the hole, but the gap closes and he gets stabbed a bunch of times.
Things look bad when suddenly the sylph and cat people arrive. The cat people are even riding fucking dragons for some reason, and they all join the battle to repay Kirito for saving their factions. Leafa throws Kirito her sword and shouts for him to goooooo!
He puts her sword on top of his and does some kind of big attack that looks like a discount drill to pierce the heavens, and he manages to bust through the enemy lines and reach the door at the top of the area. The gap closes behind him and everyone else falls back.
Kirito tries to open the door, but nothing's happening. Yui investigates and it turns out the door isn't even linked to a quest flag, it has to be opened by admin access. Luckily they happen to have this keycard Asuna dropped so they use it to open the door which begins to teleport them as the episode ends.
It's for your own good, you don't want to see what comes next. No one should have to see what comes next...
BassForever
Member
No reason for him to stop now that he's so close to the finish line. Is it the worst thing ever? Maybe...but at this point he should see SAO for the complete abomination that it is.
Stay strong and sane Htown.
They are.
It's always darkest before the dawn.
The weakest part of Gintama is still better than most of the shows on Toonami right now.
Except there is no dawn. Just the void.
The dawn is the show ending, though you may still feel empty inside for some time after.
And it is endless and dark, and sucks up all light, crushing any remnants of hope you once had in you heart, leaving you with nothing but despair and a rage that has no end.
No, there's a season 2, remember? The end is nothing but a quick reprieve before the pain starts again.
Elfforkusu
Member
RIP in peace, friend.
Godspeed fine sir. Godspeed.
Slamtastic
Member
Sword Art Online is the Death Spiral Machine of anime, sent to Toonami to inflict Absolute Despair on the United States.
Doctor Decimate
Member
Imperial Bishop
Banned
Lord, please watch over our friend Htown as he travels through the darkness of SAO.
You're right...there is no hope, no life, no reprieve from the darkest depths of humanity. No light at the end of that tunnel.
They must have because for some ungodly reason people actually love that shit.
Toonami |Apr15| It can't be that bad. It's worse...
Doctor Decimate
Member
FUCK THERE ARE SPIDERS IN THIS SHIPPUDEN EPISODE
Imperial Bishop
Banned
Abort mission, Htown! ABORT! ABORT!
Sword Art Online Episode 24: Gilded Hero
In which there are no good ideas, anywhere, ever.
Okay, so the teleport finishes and Yui (now full-sized again) and Kirito find themselves in one of the hallways Asuna saw earlier. Yui says there's no map data and she doesn't have admin powers anymore, but she can sense Asuna. They start running, and Yui starts doing something to knock down the walls blocking them from getting to her, though apparently whatever it is isn't an admin power even though it's breaking down level geometry. They find themselves in the branches of the world tree and they run to Asuna in the cage.
Yui shouts "Mommy!" and Asuna turns around, she's shocked and starts crying. Yui, who doesn't have admin powers, simply makes the cage wall disappear and runs into Asuna's arms. Kirito joins in the hug and everybody loves everybody else and everything is good.
Then something starts happening to the floor and everyone is being sucked downwards. Everything starts to go black save for a circle on the ground, and Yui yells that something is wrong before dissolving or something. Oh look, it's Creepy Raper Guy. He's using gravity magic which is coming out in the next patch.
He starts taunting them and there's some standard hero vs villain banter. Looks like his plan is 80 percent complete. He's going to know how to control the human soul, become a god, all that cliche standard stuff, and he's yelling and it's way over the top. I'm probably missing a thing or two the characters say to each other here, but it can't be that important. Anyway, the guy decides that he's going to have some fun with Asuna, so he uses his admin powers to make chains come from the ceiling.
He chains her wrists and raises the chains so she's just hanging there, then starts hitting her with gravity magic. He loves her cries of pain and says NPCs don't make sounds like that. At some point he smells her hair and says how hard it was to get it to smell right in this world and talks about bringing some kind of scanner into the hospital. He's taunting Kirito this whole time, of course.
I forget the order this all happens in, but at one point he stabs Kirito through the back with his own sword, pinning him to the ground, then says he's turning down the pain prevention threshold or something, so it'll hurt more and more as time goes on. Asuna sees Kirito worried and says don't worry, no matter what he does to her it's just in the virtual world, and Creepy Raper guy says he wonders how long that pride will last before ripping her top off.
I'm probably getting the order of some stuff mixed around here but who cares.
Creepy Raper Guy tells Asuna not only is he gonna rape her here, but he's going to get a video playback of it, go to her hospital room, and play it while he rapes her body in real life. Then he like, licks her face and then specifically drinks her tears. This is played for drama, by the way.
They put this shit on Toonami, huh?
So anyway, we cut to Kirito talking to himself in an inner monologue, wondering if this is all a punishment on him for thinking he's a hero or whatever. Suddenly, a voice asks him if he's giving up. Kirito says he's accepting reality. The voice tells him that he is giving up, and starts saying something about how he didn't give up before and OH MY GOD THEY'RE GIVING THIS INNER PEP TALK SPEECH TO THE MASS MURDERER KAYABA AKIHIKO FROM THE FIRST ARC OF THE SHOW. HE'S HELPING KIRITO FIND HIS INNER STRENGTH RIGHT NOW.
I can't.
I can not.
UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH MOVING THE FUCK ON
Kirito wakes up and stands up, and suddenly logs into the system under the Heathcliff username and takes control of everything from Creepy Raper Guy. That's right, the villain of the show in the first place is the deus ex machina to save Kirito and Asuna right now.
Anyway, Kirito asks Asuna if she'll give him a minute to deal with the big bad, and she's like sure bae. I mean don't use your magical admin powers to delete her chains or summon up any clothes for her or anything, just let her hang there with her tits a-swayin in the breeze. Creepy Raper Guy tries to summon Excalibur, but nothing happens. Kirito does it for him, then picks up his own sword, which I will remind everyone he just randomly picked up from a vendor. He fights CRG and it's a total curbstomp battle. Kirito then frees Asuna, she says she believes in him, yada yada yada he logs her out.
Now here comes fuckin Heathcliff Kenobi to talk to Kirito and wrap all this shit up in a nice bow. "Thanks" "We're not really friends but here's this Seed, if you let it sprout you'll recognize it, use it if you still have fondness for the virtual world." I cannot believe literally anything that is happening in this episode.
Anyway, the darkness disappears and Yui comes back, asking about Mommy. Kirito says she's fine and he's about to go see her, and asks how Yui is. She's fine because she saved herself to the SD card on his VR helmet. They hug, she says I love you, Kirito logs out while kissing her on the cheek.
Kazuto wakes up and Suguya is hovering over his bed. He says sorry it took so long, blah blah blah they hug and everything would be cool here if it weren't for that incest plot from before making everything super uncomfortable right now, and don't get me started on the fact that they are still doing the fanservice-y camera angles at this fuckin point. Suguya says "go get her, she's probably waking up and wondering where you are" as Kirito gets on his bike and rides toward the hospital.
There's still another episode of this shit.
In which there are no good ideas, anywhere, ever.
Okay, so the teleport finishes and Yui (now full-sized again) and Kirito find themselves in one of the hallways Asuna saw earlier. Yui says there's no map data and she doesn't have admin powers anymore, but she can sense Asuna. They start running, and Yui starts doing something to knock down the walls blocking them from getting to her, though apparently whatever it is isn't an admin power even though it's breaking down level geometry. They find themselves in the branches of the world tree and they run to Asuna in the cage.
Yui shouts "Mommy!" and Asuna turns around, she's shocked and starts crying. Yui, who doesn't have admin powers, simply makes the cage wall disappear and runs into Asuna's arms. Kirito joins in the hug and everybody loves everybody else and everything is good.
Then something starts happening to the floor and everyone is being sucked downwards. Everything starts to go black save for a circle on the ground, and Yui yells that something is wrong before dissolving or something. Oh look, it's Creepy Raper Guy. He's using gravity magic which is coming out in the next patch.
He starts taunting them and there's some standard hero vs villain banter. Looks like his plan is 80 percent complete. He's going to know how to control the human soul, become a god, all that cliche standard stuff, and he's yelling and it's way over the top. I'm probably missing a thing or two the characters say to each other here, but it can't be that important. Anyway, the guy decides that he's going to have some fun with Asuna, so he uses his admin powers to make chains come from the ceiling.
He chains her wrists and raises the chains so she's just hanging there, then starts hitting her with gravity magic. He loves her cries of pain and says NPCs don't make sounds like that. At some point he smells her hair and says how hard it was to get it to smell right in this world and talks about bringing some kind of scanner into the hospital. He's taunting Kirito this whole time, of course.
I forget the order this all happens in, but at one point he stabs Kirito through the back with his own sword, pinning him to the ground, then says he's turning down the pain prevention threshold or something, so it'll hurt more and more as time goes on. Asuna sees Kirito worried and says don't worry, no matter what he does to her it's just in the virtual world, and Creepy Raper guy says he wonders how long that pride will last before ripping her top off.
I'm probably getting the order of some stuff mixed around here but who cares.
Creepy Raper Guy tells Asuna not only is he gonna rape her here, but he's going to get a video playback of it, go to her hospital room, and play it while he rapes her body in real life. Then he like, licks her face and then specifically drinks her tears. This is played for drama, by the way.
They put this shit on Toonami, huh?
So anyway, we cut to Kirito talking to himself in an inner monologue, wondering if this is all a punishment on him for thinking he's a hero or whatever. Suddenly, a voice asks him if he's giving up. Kirito says he's accepting reality. The voice tells him that he is giving up, and starts saying something about how he didn't give up before and OH MY GOD THEY'RE GIVING THIS INNER PEP TALK SPEECH TO THE MASS MURDERER KAYABA AKIHIKO FROM THE FIRST ARC OF THE SHOW. HE'S HELPING KIRITO FIND HIS INNER STRENGTH RIGHT NOW.
I can't.
I can not.
UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH MOVING THE FUCK ON
Kirito wakes up and stands up, and suddenly logs into the system under the Heathcliff username and takes control of everything from Creepy Raper Guy. That's right, the villain of the show in the first place is the deus ex machina to save Kirito and Asuna right now.
Anyway, Kirito asks Asuna if she'll give him a minute to deal with the big bad, and she's like sure bae. I mean don't use your magical admin powers to delete her chains or summon up any clothes for her or anything, just let her hang there with her tits a-swayin in the breeze. Creepy Raper Guy tries to summon Excalibur, but nothing happens. Kirito does it for him, then picks up his own sword, which I will remind everyone he just randomly picked up from a vendor. He fights CRG and it's a total curbstomp battle. Kirito then frees Asuna, she says she believes in him, yada yada yada he logs her out.
Now here comes fuckin Heathcliff Kenobi to talk to Kirito and wrap all this shit up in a nice bow. "Thanks" "We're not really friends but here's this Seed, if you let it sprout you'll recognize it, use it if you still have fondness for the virtual world." I cannot believe literally anything that is happening in this episode.
Anyway, the darkness disappears and Yui comes back, asking about Mommy. Kirito says she's fine and he's about to go see her, and asks how Yui is. She's fine because she saved herself to the SD card on his VR helmet. They hug, she says I love you, Kirito logs out while kissing her on the cheek.
Kazuto wakes up and Suguya is hovering over his bed. He says sorry it took so long, blah blah blah they hug and everything would be cool here if it weren't for that incest plot from before making everything super uncomfortable right now, and don't get me started on the fact that they are still doing the fanservice-y camera angles at this fuckin point. Suguya says "go get her, she's probably waking up and wondering where you are" as Kirito gets on his bike and rides toward the hospital.
There's still another episode of this shit.
Doctor Decimate
Member
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