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[Dead]

The first movie is the only one that vaguely resembles a coherent story

But fuck it, that last hour in Dark of the Moon is some of the best action put on screen in years. It's Bays magnum opus.

 

[MiamiWesker]

The first movie is the only one that vaguely resembles a coherent story

But fuck it, that last hour in Dark of the Moon is some of the best action put on screen in years. It's Bays magnum opus.

I agree with this.

This movie has nothing on that level.

 

[wamberz1]

You want to know if unicron is in this, ok more idiotic spoilers for you:

Spoiler

Unicron is earth. Yeah I know

...what

 

[kswiston]

Looks like Rotten Tomatoes nuked those embargo breaking reviews.

 

[jmdajr]

The first movie is the only one that vaguely resembles a coherent story

But fuck it, that last hour in Dark of the Moon is some of the best action put on screen in years. It's Bays magnum opus.

I keep looking to see if this movie is on Netflix or Amazon prime and it never is.

 

[Alter_Fridge]

The first movie is the only one that vaguely resembles a coherent story

But fuck it, that last hour in Dark of the Moon is some of the best action put on screen in years. It's Bays magnum opus.

"Bay's magnum opus" is equivalent to picking out the single greatest shit one has done in one's lifetime

 

[cr0w]

Never underestimate the awe a truly impressive shit can instill in someone.

I still weave tales about the monster that someone dry-docked in the Circuit City bathroom one late night in '01 during inventory. It hung over the lip of the bowl, and I swear it hissed at me when I opened the stall door.

 

[Carbonox]

The lack of any meaningful themes in 4 disappointed the fuck out of me but even in 5? Fuck.

The first 3 have some real good tracks. Entrances, certain transformations, fight scenes, kill moments, etc. were all elevated by the great score they had for the earlier ones.

 

[FTF]

Looks like Rotten Tomatoes nuked those embargo breaking reviews.

More Bay explosions.

 

[jmdajr]

I agree with this.

This movie has nothing on that level.

But 210 million dollar budget! Did they just rush this?

I am disheartened that even the action set pieces are a let down. I have to really see with my own eyes now.

 

[MiamiWesker]

BTW at the end of the free screening I was at people fucking clapped. So what do I know. Or maybe they clapped cause it finally ended. Or the masses don't give a shit.

 

[Dabanton]

It's a film that's review proof.

I've got my tickets booked for tomorrow.

 

[DonShula]

Evil witch lady

Spoiler

which is his "creator" scratches his face and turns the metal red which I guess infects him and his eyes turn purple and no he must do as she says. This spell is only broken by bumblebee completely inexplicably being able to speak in his own voice which magically cures prime because "I have not heard your true voice my friend in so long!" And the red paint vanishes and his eyes turn blue. How bumblebee speaks makes no sesne cause at the start of the movie they make a point to show him trying to get a new voice box and it not working.

Between all these awful spoiler-tagged tidbits and

Spoiler

Megatron negotiating with the lawyers

I feel like I need to see it now.

And I want a Netflix original

Spoiler

Megatron legal drama

. It could be a procedural but with lore because there is no lore sacred enough to carry over between episodes.

 

[Sulik2]

I agree with this.

This movie has nothing on that level.

Wow that sucks. DoTM's last hour is incredible. And the final huge fight in Age of Extinction was pretty solid, if this doesn't even have a great action sequence or the most hilarious product placement scene in movie history I guess I am skipping it in theaters. Get Bay off this franchise.

 

[cr0w]

Between all these awful spoiler-tagged tidbits and

Spoiler

Megatron negotiating with the lawyers

I feel like I need to see it now.

And I want a Netflix original

Spoiler

Megatron legal drama

. It could be a procedural but with lore because there is no lore sacred enough to carry over between episodes.

Only if

Spoiler

Megatron's partner is Denny Crane

.

 

[jmdajr]

"Bay's magnum opus" is equivalent to picking out the single greatest shit one has done in one's lifetime

These movies have always had the A team in special effects working on them. I've never thought any have looked bad.

You might not like the designs or whatever, but the SFX team always do good work. Most of them are fans and at least want the Transformers aspect to be quality. They can't do much about Michael Bay story telling/editing etc.

 

[NastyBook]

Stopped punishing myself and rewarding mediocrity after Dark of the Moon. Feeling gooood, feeling fiiiiine.

 

[Sibersk Esto]

Dunno if posted but Mr Sunday Movies review.

Spoiler

He hated it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQXmiVi0kN8

Oh god the aspect ratio changing during a conversation...

 

[Ovek]

Evil witch lady

Spoiler

which is his "creator" scratches his face and turns the metal red which I guess infects him and his eyes turn purple and no he must do as she says. This spell is only broken by bumblebee completely inexplicably being able to speak in his own voice which magically cures prime because "I have not heard your true voice my friend in so long!" And the red paint vanishes and his eyes turn blue. How bumblebee speaks makes no sesne cause at the start of the movie they make a point to show him trying to get a new voice box and it not working.

Transformers Martha scene... love it!

 

[Thatonemoor]

Relevant:

https://youtu.be/BsthuKUESCg

 

[Wood Man]

Yes, I do expect Unicron.

Orson Wells slow clap.gif

EDIT- beaten by a mile

 

[Pachimari]

Yep I just love those two racist caricature robots, they're so fun!

I don't understand this reply? There is racism in Transformers 2?

 

[FTF]

I don't understand this reply? There is racism in Transformers 2?

...did you see TF2?

 

[sphagnum]

That's another thing that pisses me off.

There's at least 500 transformers in TF lore to choose from.

Why the need to go and make up new ones when there's so much rich history there already?

Just shows Bay couldn't be fucked really learning the history of transformers and just does his own shit

Lockdown wasn't new, he was from TF Animated.

 

[Thatonemoor]

I don't understand this reply? There is racism in Transformers 2?

Two black face robots that "have problems reading" doesn't scream racist to you??

 

[takriel]

I'm seeing this, nothing will stop me from enjoying some Bay-ism.

Bring a basket for your brain cells.

 

[CosmicGroinPull]

So does Anthony Hopkins do anything in this movie apart from make a ton of silly exposition sound good?

 

[Biggest-Geek-Ever]

Blu-ray.com review: http://www.blu-ray.com/Transformers-The-Last-Knight/581723/#Review

“Transformers: The Last Knight” isn’t the worst chapter of the eye-crossing saga (the one that showcased Decepticon testicles, that’s the worst), but it’s close, watching Bay say sayonara to this blockbuster cash machine with a “Transformers” retirement party that’s deafening, bewildering, and painfully clichéd, showing little interest in anything besides the Bay basics when it comes to yet another round of metal-crunching madness.

3/10

 

[dankir]

I posted this in the spoiler thread. But has Megatron killed anybody in any of the films ( I only watched the first 3 ) humans, Autobots or Decipticons?

edit: He tore jazz in half.

Optimus has killed Megatron repeatedly lol, fucker still comes back ( don't know if survives the 5th film )

Seriously Optimus is the film series true villain, HE KILLED FRASIER!

 

[Gravidee]

Never underestimate the awe a truly impressive shit can instill in someone.

I still weave tales about the monster that someone dry-docked in the Circuit City bathroom one late night in '01 during inventory. It hung over the lip of the bowl, and I swear it hissed at me when I opened the stall door.

Sounds like the prequel to Prometheus that takes place 92 years prior. Better get on it, Ridley Scott.

 

[Pachimari]

...did you see TF2?

Two black face robots that "have problems reading" doesn't scream racist to you??

I just finished watching it an hour ago. I didn't really notice they had black faces. To me all the robots just mesh into one as they are all so incredibly busily designed that all I see are a bunch of metal scraps walking about.

 

[Ray Down]

I don't understand this reply? There is racism in Transformers 2?

 

[Fisty]

So does Anthony Hopkins do anything in this movie apart from make a ton of silly exposition sound good?

Besides collect a check? Probably not much

 

[number11]

I remember really liking the first film. People say sequels don't ruin the original, but in this case it kinda has for me.

 

[Carbonox]

I posted this in the spoiler thread. But has Megatron killed anybody in any of the films ( I only watched the first 3 ) humans, Autobots or Decipticons?

edit: He tore jazz in half.

Optimus has killed Megatron repeatedly lol, fucker still comes back ( don't know if survives the 5th film )

Seriously Optimus is the film series true villain, HE KILLED FRASIER!

Megatron's killed:

Jazz in TF1
Optimus Prime (though he came back) in TF2
Sam Witchetty (though he came back) in TF2
Random human bean he flicked in TF1
His own self in TF3 when he gets called a bitch by a human.

 

[shira]

I posted this in the spoiler thread. But has Megatron killed anybody in any of the films ( I only watched the first 3 ) humans, Autobots or Decipticons?

edit: He tore jazz in half.

Optimus has killed Megatron repeatedly lol, fucker still comes back ( don't know if survives the 5th film )

Seriously Optimus is the film series true villain, HE KILLED FRASIER!

I'm pretty sure he did, honestly my brain turns off.

 

[J_Viper]

Because I don't disagree that the action is brainless nor do I disagree that there's not enough action. What I'm saying is, and this is a radical concept for some, I know, when the movies work for me, those sequences make up for the shit between them that doesn't work.

I'm not a big fan of Stairway to Heaven aside from the solo and final verses, but I can excuse the first few minutes which I don't like because the good parts of the song hit a certain part of my ear that causes the endorphins to flow.

There ways to find certain things enjoyable while acknowledging that other aspects flat out don't work. I've said time and again that, as films, the Transformers movies are shit. But there are moments within the films that turn me into a 6-year-old, and as I continue to get older, I appreciate those little moments more and more because they're fucking fleeting. Parents die, best friends get sent to prison for a hideous crime, pets pass away, and you lose touch with more and more of your childhood every day. I realize some people don't look at things this way, but personally I'm grateful for small moments that take me back to times when things were as simple as robots riding dinosaurs and the like.

Is that a good enough explanation for you or should I actually start apologizing for having fun with these films?

Name a section of Stairway that is the equivalent of Ken Jeong assualting Shia in a bathroom, leading to a gay sex joke, and then your analogy makes sense.

There's nothing wrong with liking garbage. I own all six Resident Evil films on Blu-Ray, even though I feel I can prove those are masterpieces compared to the TF films.

But don't get all defensive when people refer to them as what they are. Garbage.

Parents die, best friends get sent to prison for a hideous crime, pets pass away, and you lose touch with more and more of your childhood every day. I realize some people don't look at things this way, but personally I'm grateful for small moments that take me back to times when things were as simple as robots riding dinosaurs and the like.

If this isn't actually copy pasta, it's going to be

 

[cr0w]

If it turns into copy pasta, that will be my life's contribution.

And no, it's not. Some serious shit has happened over the past couple years that I welcome any break from that I can get. I'm getting to the age where nostalgia for the past is overtaking anticipation of the future.

And I actually do find anything Zep did as distasteful as the scene you mentioned in Transformers, because Robert Plant's voice almost drives me to seizures. But the ending of Stairway is just so good.

 

[Pachimari]

I fail to see what is racist about this. I see a green and an orange robot. They may have been stereotypical but I don't see the racism.

 

[Gnome Scat]

So are the stories of these movies so bad that they're good or just flat out bad? Some of these incoherent plot points are sounding hilarious to me.

 

[GAMEPROFF]

I fail to see what is racist about this. I see a green and an orange robot. They may have been stereotypical but I don't see the racism.

Watch the movie

 

[MiamiWesker]

So does Anthony Hopkins do anything in this movie apart from make a ton of silly exposition sound good?

That's his main role and he is good at it. But for some big spoilers on his character:

Spoiler

He gets to jog around a bit, be in fast cars and yell at some people so it's funny. His big moment is shooting megatron in the face and then getting shot by megatron, his body flies through the air and he dies in the hand of his robot butler.

 

[Pachimari]

Watch the movie

I just finished it an hour ago, I wrote further up. Go read that. Anyway, I guess I didn't notice it or didn't take issue with whatever issue there was with their portrayal. To me it's just a blockbuster movie to pass me some time anyway.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

So are the stories of these movies so bad that they're good or just flat out bad? Some of these incoherent plot points are sounding hilarious to me.

They aren't bad in a fun way. They're long and boring.

 

[DonMigs85]

The thing about these Transformers movies is I only like certain battle and action scenes

 

[Man Called Aerodynamics]

Man, judging by the Blu-ray.com description of the plot... It seems like it would be almost impossible such a joyless movie out of such a gonzo premise.

 

[dankir]

The thing about these Transformers movies is I only like certain battle and action scenes

But there's barely any of that! In relation to all the bullshit human stuff and storytelling.

 

[vivekTO]

Booking my Ticket for IMAX3d as soon as available here, Sorry Reviews don't mean shit for this Movie.

 

[Decado]

I think I could enjoy a few of these films as popcorn eyecandy if they weren't bloated to 2.5 hrs in length.

 

[DonMigs85]

Transformers Martha scene... love it!

Spoiler

But didn't Bumblebee speak briefly near the end of the first movie?