The title of that graphic is irritating. One of the problems with society is that some people have determined that some words are bad, period. Words are nothing without intent. Someone is not being hateful just because they say a word; what matters is how it's used, and whether they meant anything by it.
Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
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Femmeworth
Banned
Connotation, how does it work? ¯\_(ツ
_/¯JasonUresti
Member
I disagree. Someone having the brain and thought patterns of one side of the coin and feeling their body is incorrect is not the same as someone being at peace with their body and being attracted to the same sex.
For a trans person who is comfortable or at peace with their physical characteristics, all is well, but from reading the threads around this topic it seems many are not, but for financial or other reasons cannot take the necessary steps to help deal with the situation.
It's why it brought to my thoughts those people who suffer from a sense of body that is different from their physical form, that their brains don't recognize limbs or digits as "real". While not exactly the same, the mental pain both cause can be equally severe.
I'm certainly not advocating changing a person's personality, just extra things that one day might be done to help a person cope with their own unique circumstances.
When I made that post I was under no small amount of physical pain, so it had my sympathy for others ramped up a bit, and the two combined perhaps causing my thoughts to come out jumbled, and not fully thought through. Apologies, my aim was not to cause anyone discomfort.
I know some disagree, but I don't like the "it's bad to ask about a person's situation" note. The whole transgender topic is still a very unknown thing for a lot of people, and the way to gain more acceptance is by gaining more understanding. I know there's a point where you just want to be you, and not be "trans", but if somebody is being genuine in their asking and wants to understand your situation better, I think it's better to inform them than to tell them they're being offensive by asking.
The honest asking of questions should never be seen as offensive.
The honest asking of questions should never be seen as offensive.
Despite the title, there was only one "word," and that word is rarely used positively. The rest are phrases or questions, which, while they may be sincere, spring from cis-normativity/entitlement at best.
Edit: Fair enough, shidoshi.
I think they are only talking about asking 3rd parties rather than the person in question directly. At least that is the way I read it.
QuickSilverD
Member
I have a hypothetical question that may be terrible offensive so let me apologize in advance for asking it.
It is my understanding that a transgender person feels as if their brains do not match their bodies, and I am aware of studies showing trans-people brain chemistry being different. To correct this and for the person to feel like "who they really are" sex-reassignment surgery is in order.
However I wonder, and this is the question I was alluring to: If there was some sort of brain surgery, that could turn the transgendered brain into a "cisgendered" brain, nothing else changes of course, you still have your functions and tastes and memories and all that, though I guess some of your identity would change given that you would identify with the gender of your body post surgery.
I'm wondering if you guys would take that option if it was available, I cannot imagine that it would cost more than the alternative and you wouldn't have to take hormones for a long period of time.
Again this is all very hypothetical, and I am not looking to offend anyone, just had the thought in my head.
It is my understanding that a transgender person feels as if their brains do not match their bodies, and I am aware of studies showing trans-people brain chemistry being different. To correct this and for the person to feel like "who they really are" sex-reassignment surgery is in order.
However I wonder, and this is the question I was alluring to: If there was some sort of brain surgery, that could turn the transgendered brain into a "cisgendered" brain, nothing else changes of course, you still have your functions and tastes and memories and all that, though I guess some of your identity would change given that you would identify with the gender of your body post surgery.
I'm wondering if you guys would take that option if it was available, I cannot imagine that it would cost more than the alternative and you wouldn't have to take hormones for a long period of time.
Again this is all very hypothetical, and I am not looking to offend anyone, just had the thought in my head.
Just curious, would YOU take advantage of it to become a woman? (I'm assuming you're a man)
I think the difficulty with that would be that when people speak of 'I' they mean the mind, not the body attached. So it would fundamentally change how they perceive themselves. From a purely pragmatic viewpoint it would probably be easier if it was available, but from a mental health viewpoint it raises all sorts of concerns.
Liberty4all
Banned
Go watch the star trek episode called The Outcast.
The whole brain surgery thing doesnt work out to well in terms of retaining who you are as a person.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Outcast_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)
Yeah, I was going to say that. If I didn't stalk everyone in this thread then I would have no idea what the deal was with transgender people. Assuming everyone should know everything about a complex issue is silly, plus as the picture proves there are so many ways to offend transgender people that you wouldn't want to go up and personally ask questions in fear that it might be offensive. Like for example, I'm worried that just saying transgender people are easily offended is offensive.
Bomber Bob
Banned
Nope, I like who I am.
I don't want anyone to be afraid to ask questions as long as they respect me
Putting aside the emotional reaction to the question, and looking at it logically, I see it like this. I don't want to be male, so telling me that I could fix myself to be male and happy isn't what I want. But, my feelings of being female come from a defect with my body - so I wasn't supposed to identify that way.
Unlike a few of the other response you've received, I think fixing the brain would be the easier option when given everything involved in the process. If there really was such a fix, it could totally be possible that I'd be perfectly happy with my life if that "defect" was corrected.
I just want to feel like I belong in this world, which I don't feel right now. If fixing my brain made me feel that, then that would be a perfectly valid option. But then I get back to the emotional side of the question, and I think I wouldn't want that. People aren't supposed to by gay, right? But that variation in nature exists. Would "fixing" being gay make the lives of some people easier? Absolutely. Yet those people would probably hate losing that piece of their identity. But that identity wasn't supposed to be there in the first place.
It's a very complicated issue.
Jamie xxoo
Member
I would have taken the option of brain surgery in a heartbeat. I would have volunteered while it was still experimental! And I would have been fixed up as a child because I would have known there was a cure and there'd be no stigma in asking for it. I'd have had such a better life without body dysphoria, 100% for sure. I don't really care how much it might have changed my personality. I don't think the one I've got is really that special that it needs to be preserved at all costs lol
QuickSilverD
Member
I am a cisgendered man, I don't feel any curiosity about what it would be like to be a woman, so I guess I wouldn't try to change anything in me even if it was easy.
If you are asking me whenever I would take the brain surgery option if I was transgender then I cannot answer you. I've been lurking in this thread for a while, even made some posts before, but I can't say my mind can really comprehend the transgender experience, I never thought of myself as a man in a male body, I was always just "male", how "I" would feel if I would have to think of myself as body and mind being separated and incompatible I do not know.
Maybe the social pressure would it made it easier to change my brain to accommodate a female brain, maybe I would feel so strongly identified with my gender that I would have chosen body surgery, I don't know, I really don't.
Thanks everyone who answered my question.
I would have taken the option of brain surgery in a heartbeat. I would have volunteered while it was still experimental! And I would have been fixed up as a child because I would have known there was a cure and there'd be no stigma in asking for it. I'd have had such a better life without body dysphoria, 100% for sure. I don't really care how much it might have changed my personality. I don't think the one I've got is really that special that it needs to be preserved at all costs lol
And if the choice was between the surgery or ... a pill that instantly changes your sex Ranma 1/2 or Sexy no Jutsu style (but permanent) ?
I mean ... years of therapy and complex surgery and money spend and prejudice are something .... not pleasant.
Instantly turning into a cis girl .... much better.
Jamie xxoo
Member
My parents would still feel like they lost their baby boy and go through mourning if I had just been able to take a pill. I'd still have prejudice against me as not being REALLY a girl from people if they knew I was born a boy. I'd still not be able to use any qualifications I had gotten in my old identity, and I'd still have this massive change in life trajectory that would cause everything to have happened before to have been a big waste of time, and I'd still not be able to talk openly about great big chunks of my past without making myself really really vulnerable to the person I'm talking to.
So, I'd still get the brain surgery. If we're going through hypotheticals, the only one that really appeals to me is not being born trans at all, and not having to deal with gender issues ever. I would't care if I was born male or female, as long as everything was aligned.
alysonwheel
Member
On brain surgery, that sort of thing has been tried before.
tearsofash
Member
I've been going on dates with a ladyfriend, and she's been saying stuff like "be a man and do X"
I've given her the most stern looks I can, and she catches on pretty quickly. She's perfectly OK with who I am, and who I will eventually become. feelsgoodman.jpg
Although, it's a little funny that she messes up once in a while.
I've given her the most stern looks I can, and she catches on pretty quickly. She's perfectly OK with who I am, and who I will eventually become. feelsgoodman.jpg
Although, it's a little funny that she messes up once in a while.
Anyone should be looking askance at that, male or female, cis or trans. Gah, sorry, glad she is cool, that shit just pisses me off.
We're here for you.<3 you, Jinty~
She's gonna be fine with it, but I'm bad with words. Probably going to end up just bluntly saying it...
EDIT: Thanks, Lissars!
If she will be fine with it, then that is probably the best way, all the best.
Good for you!Guess who came out to their sister just now?
This girl!
It went really well... after I explained what being transgendered meant
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
*dances with Billie and hugs* Congrats~!
Professor Beef
Banned
Grats Billie!
I'd say try grow it out, if you like it stick with it. You can always cut it but it's rather hard to grow it long.
This is true...every time my parents see me now they bring up my hair. Makes me wonder if I didn't lock my door at night if they'd come in and cut it in my sleep -.-;
These days, an artist that studys in the same university than me asked if I could be model for a gender related photography session ....
She wants to make something along the lines of these two sequences but with feminine and masculine stuff ...
The shotting will be tomorrow between EA's and Ubisoft's E3 conferences ...
I'm worried .. I LOVE anything gender related... but I hate photos =x
If she allows I will post the finished pics ... just not sure if in the recent pics or here xD
She wants to make something along the lines of these two sequences but with feminine and masculine stuff ...
The shotting will be tomorrow between EA's and Ubisoft's E3 conferences ...
I'm worried .. I LOVE anything gender related... but I hate photos =x
If she allows I will post the finished pics ... just not sure if in the recent pics or here xD
Jamie xxoo
Member
Your answer is right there in your question. "I WANT it long"
Don't cut it for anyone. You can put up with the passive aggressive snipes and the constant annoying whinging about it from your parents. You can.
Wait, are you around for E3 / going to those conferences?
I wish ... but no, still in south america.
Just using some time reference that works worldwide and gaf people can understand.
edit :
Photos were interesting ...
and ...
Chu, don't worry...sometimes I want to kill some people on gaf too because of gender and any thread about minorities, but this one here is a gender thread you can count on =D
Soooo... I sent a Facebook friend request to one of my longtime friends from back home. He accepted it a few days ago.
A friend request via my "other" Facebook account. A request to a friend that I've not told anything about all of this. A friend request I had no intention of sending, and which I'm not sure how even got sent.
When I first saw that he accepted my friend request, I was like, "That's odd, I'm already friends with him." And then I noticed which account it was on, and was like, "Oh... OOOOOH." *laughs*
Now I'm trying to figure out how to kick off handling this. I've heard nothing from his yet, so (a) he's already figured things out before this, (b) he hasn't actually looked at my Facebook page after accepting the friend request, or (c) he's also not sure how to bring up the topic. *heh*
A friend request via my "other" Facebook account. A request to a friend that I've not told anything about all of this. A friend request I had no intention of sending, and which I'm not sure how even got sent.
When I first saw that he accepted my friend request, I was like, "That's odd, I'm already friends with him." And then I noticed which account it was on, and was like, "Oh... OOOOOH." *laughs*
Now I'm trying to figure out how to kick off handling this. I've heard nothing from his yet, so (a) he's already figured things out before this, (b) he hasn't actually looked at my Facebook page after accepting the friend request, or (c) he's also not sure how to bring up the topic. *heh*
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