I have no problem smiling at or talking to small children, do it all the time on the tube. Is that because I'm a girl?
Probably. It seems to be more socially acceptable for women to interact with children than it is for a man to.
We had sports day a few weeks before the end of term. Its a time of the year where children can achieve something and really get into an event. Its a really happy occasion for many of them. Its more acceptable for a female teacher to hug a child than it is for a male teacher to do so. I've been flat out told to steer clear of such interactions. Female teachers haven't had those warnings.
Strangely, its more acceptable for me to hug a disabled child than a non-disabled child in a school setting. Headmaster at my previous school didn't mind teachers (both male and female) hugging a child who was severely autistic if he approached you for a hug or did something really well. He did however dislike teachers having any sort of physical interaction with a non-disabled child, no matter how small the interaction was.
There is also a societal suspicion directed at males who get on well with children. I regularly meet people who find it perplexing that I am a Primary school teacher. Most people assume that I teach at a secondary school/college level when I say that I am a teacher. They can't seem to get it into their head that there are males out there who get along well with children and are effective in motivating/teaching etc. Its as if the concept of paternal relationships don't exist anymore.
The strange thing is (and this is a generalisation) that out of the interactions I have seen between child and mother and child and father around in a variety of social settings, the father seems to have the child under control better than the mother.
I'm not sure what to make of it all really. I think the media and 'stranger danger' have warped societal views on what men should and shouldn't be able to do, neglecting the fact that instances of child abuse are incredibly small in general. It seems strange that its okay to play down the paternal role that is often required in children's lives.
The school I teach at has a high proportion of single mothers relative to other schools. For some of the children, I am their only regular contact with an adult male. If I am continually hands off, not as 'warm' as a female to them or continually worrying about what other people will suspect. . .I think that the child in question is missing something very important in their lives and that it will leave a permanent mark on their interactions with male figures of authority in the future.