Blargonaut
Banned
CHAPTER EIGHT
"You're serious about this, aren't you?" He remarked, incredulous. "Alright, then. This is what you do. You see the other customers here in this diner?"
I nodded, already gauging them up.
"Well, okay. So, after you get up from this booth, you approach any one of those tables for me and say something, like, uh... Okay, how about this: 'Hi. Enjoying your meal? Sorry to bother you, but congratulations, by still being here, you have demonstrated the requisite patience and-or free time to both withstand and sustain the kind of text-based combat that a player will undoubtedly face in Mafia: The Party Game. In Mafia game-jargon, we call the gameplay application of this skill-set: 'contributing'. 'Contributing' is the most desirable and not to mention life-extending attribute a Mafia player may exhibit, or flaunt. So, how do you put your demonstrated natural aptitude for playing Mafia: The Party Game to good use, you ask? Well, Mafia: The Party Game isn't pen-and-paper like Dungeons & Dragons or something like that. It's far simpler, and far more fluid to play. Actually, it's like a board-game, really; the game-board is set up by a host, each player gets their piece to use and then the game starts, turn-by-turn. Easy! A game of Mafia can have any amount of players, but the particular online forum-based ones we host on NeoGAF usually have a range from about eleven to twenty-five players per game. Over six Seasons of gameplay on GAF, we've found this range to be the so-called Goldilocks Zone of player amount with regards to fun; just ask Burbeting, GAFia's resident Player Count Expert. He knows. Anyway, each game of Mafia has a Host, who created the game-thread and moderates it. A game may last a number of weeks, usually one or two months, at the most. Scared of such a commitment of your time in the name of entertainment? Don't be! Once you sign-up, step up and harness that abject fear against us from within our player roster rather than from without, soon you'll understand that because we're taking over Off-Topic Community side and have been doing so for six consecutive Seasons of games unopposed with us now on the eve of our seventh Season which shall no doubt be the crown jewel of our burgeoning domain, you'd have definitely made the correct, most well-informed decision of your NeoGAF-lifetime in having chosen to get in on this Forum Party Game shit A.S.A.P., because FakeGAF, PopGAF and AnimeGAF don't stand an utter fucking chance against this ruthless expansionist tendency of ours; with every new Game Thread we're ludologically encroaching, with every new Game Thread we're toyetically incorporating, with every new Game Thread we're like total synergy and hella popular, you'd best BELIEVE this player's cyber-meritocracy stays at the top of that Off-Topic Community Page One Leaderboard not because we spam but because we're fam: -ily, -ous and -ished for mutual Member perfection like no other GAF Off-Topic Community is or ever will be so down with dusty empires and up with our highlight sunrise upon the crumbling roads of yore made anew, sof eel like we do again, yeah? But I digress; Mafia: The Party Game is: team-based, text-based and time-based, and 'commitment' to a game of Mafia involves you, dear player, being just as -based, yeah?' So, while you're saying that to distract them, I'll sneak up behind them, and then pounce for the feed. You think you can do that for me?" he said.
I nodded again. "Got it," I said.
"Okay," he replied. I glimpsed his fangs as I saw him lick his lips in anticipation. After a moment of contemplation, he said, pointing, "Okay, over there. Go."
I nervously stood up from the midst of our broken table, bits of shattered glass crunching under my feet as I walked over to the counter stools, where a bunch of people were still eating their diner meals. Stay cool, B'la, I told myself. You can do this.
I nodded, already gauging them up.
"Well, okay. So, after you get up from this booth, you approach any one of those tables for me and say something, like, uh... Okay, how about this: 'Hi. Enjoying your meal? Sorry to bother you, but congratulations, by still being here, you have demonstrated the requisite patience and-or free time to both withstand and sustain the kind of text-based combat that a player will undoubtedly face in Mafia: The Party Game. In Mafia game-jargon, we call the gameplay application of this skill-set: 'contributing'. 'Contributing' is the most desirable and not to mention life-extending attribute a Mafia player may exhibit, or flaunt. So, how do you put your demonstrated natural aptitude for playing Mafia: The Party Game to good use, you ask? Well, Mafia: The Party Game isn't pen-and-paper like Dungeons & Dragons or something like that. It's far simpler, and far more fluid to play. Actually, it's like a board-game, really; the game-board is set up by a host, each player gets their piece to use and then the game starts, turn-by-turn. Easy! A game of Mafia can have any amount of players, but the particular online forum-based ones we host on NeoGAF usually have a range from about eleven to twenty-five players per game. Over six Seasons of gameplay on GAF, we've found this range to be the so-called Goldilocks Zone of player amount with regards to fun; just ask Burbeting, GAFia's resident Player Count Expert. He knows. Anyway, each game of Mafia has a Host, who created the game-thread and moderates it. A game may last a number of weeks, usually one or two months, at the most. Scared of such a commitment of your time in the name of entertainment? Don't be! Once you sign-up, step up and harness that abject fear against us from within our player roster rather than from without, soon you'll understand that because we're taking over Off-Topic Community side and have been doing so for six consecutive Seasons of games unopposed with us now on the eve of our seventh Season which shall no doubt be the crown jewel of our burgeoning domain, you'd have definitely made the correct, most well-informed decision of your NeoGAF-lifetime in having chosen to get in on this Forum Party Game shit A.S.A.P., because FakeGAF, PopGAF and AnimeGAF don't stand an utter fucking chance against this ruthless expansionist tendency of ours; with every new Game Thread we're ludologically encroaching, with every new Game Thread we're toyetically incorporating, with every new Game Thread we're like total synergy and hella popular, you'd best BELIEVE this player's cyber-meritocracy stays at the top of that Off-Topic Community Page One Leaderboard not because we spam but because we're fam: -ily, -ous and -ished for mutual Member perfection like no other GAF Off-Topic Community is or ever will be so down with dusty empires and up with our highlight sunrise upon the crumbling roads of yore made anew, sof eel like we do again, yeah? But I digress; Mafia: The Party Game is: team-based, text-based and time-based, and 'commitment' to a game of Mafia involves you, dear player, being just as -based, yeah?' So, while you're saying that to distract them, I'll sneak up behind them, and then pounce for the feed. You think you can do that for me?" he said.
I nodded again. "Got it," I said.
"Okay," he replied. I glimpsed his fangs as I saw him lick his lips in anticipation. After a moment of contemplation, he said, pointing, "Okay, over there. Go."
I nervously stood up from the midst of our broken table, bits of shattered glass crunching under my feet as I walked over to the counter stools, where a bunch of people were still eating their diner meals. Stay cool, B'la, I told myself. You can do this.
