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[Darkmakaimura]

So, the day after my birthday (September 29th) I'm finding out that my roomie may not have the money to cover rent.

Neither of our friends or family can help us out and we're already selling stuff on OfferUp and Craigslist with no hits.

My roommate does have an upper hand though since she has a very good friend or two who will let her stay with them. Meanwhile, I'll be on the street. No friends or family can help me either especially since they're all on the other side of the country.

Work has been really bad and my social security disability is taking forever.

Any advice would be appreciated. I really do not want to end up in a shelter.

 

[West Texas CEO]

Bro, what happened?

I saw your post a few days ago and you seemed so excited.

I I got my roommate a really nice birthday present setup. I made sure I gave her everything that she really likes and/or that she has had difficult accessing.

I got her some weed, some menthol vape cartridges, a birthday card and a plush unicorn because she really likes unicorns. I really hope she flips out in a positive way when she sees what I got her for her birthday.

I put it all in a little birthday bag.

That means more to me than receiving anything.

I cannot wait until this Sunday when she sees it. I spent all my birthday money on her but I feel it's well worth it. My birthday is on September 29th. Her's is on October 1st.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Bro, what happened?

I saw your post a few days ago and you seemed so excited.

I didn't find out until the other day.

 

[West Texas CEO]

I didn't find out until the other day.

That sucks, man.
She should've communicated with you way earlier.

If you're not too behind on rent, talk to and negotiate with your landlord for a longer grace period.

If you have money coming in, you should be ok.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

That sucks, man.
She should've communicated with you way earlier.

If you're not too behind on rent, talk to and negotiate with your landlord for a longer grace period.

If you have money coming in, you should be ok.

Her work is erratic so she doesn't know what's going to happen day by day. Maybe she thought she was going to have it.

The landlords here are strict and negotiating is not much of an option. It's $5 late fee each day after the 4th or 5th.

As for me, I do minial work because I'm waiting on a physical and mental disability claim which is taking forever.

 

[Pegasus Actual]

But did you ever find a YouTube clock for when she falls asleep on the couch or whatever?

 

[West Texas CEO]

Her work is erratic so she doesn't know what's going to happen day by day. Maybe she thought she was going to have it.

That's not good enough, bruv.

Any adult in any household needs to have reliable income , and if not, you better be able to have some tough conversations.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

That's not good enough, bruv.

Any adult in any household needs to have reliable income , and if not, you better be able to have some tough conversations.

When she moved in on February, she was supposed to look for a bartending job but she kept making excuses.

I really like her but she's unmotivated and part of that is she has ADHD.

 

[Mistake]

Best advice I can give you is talk to people who actually have their shit together. This roommate of yours certainly isn't it. I don't know what kind of disability you have, but if you're physically able to work, lots of storm recovery is paying 1-3k a week right now

 

[West Texas CEO]

When she moved in on February, she was supposed to look for a bartending job but she kept making excuses.

I really like her but she's unmotivated and part of that is she has ADHD.

Consider it a lesson learned.

In the meantime, seek out local resources to find help.

It's better time spent than waiting for responses on GAF, even though Mistake just made a good one.

 

[Hrk69]

I've been there and it's the most stress inducing thing ever. I hope you get on your feet soon OP.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Consider it a lesson learned.

Yeah I'm really going to vet the next person. To be honest I don't even know if I want a roommate anymore at this point.

 

[DKehoe]

Can you talk to your landlord about deferring at least part of the payment? I’ve not been in this situation personally but from my understanding they aren’t usually going to throw you out of your home because of one missed payment.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Can you talk to your landlord about deferring at least part of the payment? I’ve not been in this situation personally but from my understanding they aren’t usually going to throw you out of your home because of one missed payment.

They're very strict. See the reply I made above about it.

 

[EviLore]

You should notify your landlord of the situation. Assuming you have a standard lease and roommate agreement, she's responsible for paying her share, and she's violating the agreement if she isn't. The landlord will probably be willing to work with you to resolve the situation since you're not at fault. Don't just assume that you have no options because they're strict. These things happen.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

You should notify your landlord of the situation. Assuming you have a standard lease and roommate agreement, she's responsible for paying her share, and she's violating the agreement if she isn't. The landlord will probably be willing to work with you to resolve the situation since you're not at fault. Don't just assume that you have no options because they're strict. These things happen.

In February before my roommate moved in, they gave me three weeks and we're going to take me to court. They don't fuck around.

I should note that I am grandfathered in after my father died.

 

[Nydius]

Work has been really bad and my social security disability is taking forever.

I can sympathize. Getting SSDI or SSI takes a ridiculously long time. It took my wife 5 years to get her disability approved and that was with a lawyer from day one and four doctors (her GP and three specialists) helping to fight on her behalf.

3 years for the initial denial and then another 2 of appeals process plus an administrative court hearing.

I understand the necessity to prevent people from defrauding the system but they often make it far more difficult than it needs to be.

Edit: I agree with everyone else saying try to work with your landlord. I know you say they’re strict, but document everything. I don’t know what state you’re in but most states have at least a 30 day notice requirement, and if you end up in court over eviction and can prove you made a good faith effort to work with your landlord and he outright shut you down, it may work in your favor.

 

[RagnarokIV]

That's awful.

I got her some weed, some menthol vape cartridges,

tell her to quit stinking the place out with the disgusting drugs and sort her life out.

Then throw them out anyway.

You’ve been too busy simping and blowing your cash. You’ve had your head up your arse and now you're in the the shit.

Wake up you donut. You know they were making excuses about getting work. She doesn’t need to worry about you, she’ll be off to another mate while you get thrown under the bus.

I can only advise you to toughen up because you’ll be mugged off again and again in the future. As soon as I saw your posts in the containment thread I was reminded of one of my best mates (the one I mugged off for his 7900 XTX). He is just like you and constantly going through this shit.

Next time don’t take in any freeloaders. Speak to your landlord as honestly as possible and try to come to some agreement.

Sitting out here with my hot trans roommate, drinking malt liquor and watching classic cartoons with her.

I love my roommate.

I dunno. My roommate is trans and she doesn't dress like this.

I took three Valium and had a half a bottle of vodka and in the morning smoked some weed. Does this discount?

In all seriousness, I really do like my roommate a lot. If she leaves here I'm going to be devastated and not just on a financial level.

She is fun to drink with and we had a good time tonight. No, not that type of good night but believe me I wish.

I could not sleep all night I kept having a dream like what is touring the state with my trans roommate publicly announcing her act.

Funny thing is, I don't even think she sings or plays an instrument.

This is the first person I fell in love with in years. She doesn't know yet though, that I'm in love with her.

I've had a transgirl roommate for over 5 months now and I couldn't live without her.

Get off Twitter and mainstream news and go meet people and be pleasantly surprised.

This is where simping gets you in life.

 

[Bloobs]

Onlyfans

 

[StueyDuck]

That's awful.



tell her to quit stinking the place out with the disgusting drugs and sort her life out.

Then throw them out anyway.

You’ve been too busy simping and blowing your cash. You’ve had your head up your arse and now you're in the the shit.

Wake up you donut. You know they were making excuses about getting work. She doesn’t need to worry about you, she’ll be off to another mate while you get thrown under the bus.

I can only advise you to toughen up because you’ll be mugged off again and again in the future. As soon as I saw your posts in the containment thread I was reminded of one of my best mates (the one I mugged off for his 7900 XTX). He is just like you and constantly going through this shit.

Next time don’t take in any freeloaders. Speak to your landlord as honestly as possible and try to come to some agreement.

This is where simping gets you in life.

This is quite harsh (sometimes people need harsh advice, I am not critiquing the comment)

that being said i was trying to remember if this was the OP with the Roommate who they were essentially too scared to be themselves around because the roomie was a radical.

that's a shame, at the time my advice may have seemed harsh, I very much said that the roomie is someone not worth having in your life but unfortunately it seems the worst has happened.


Darkmakaimura I know i may had been a little bit tough on you then, i still stand by what i said, but you are in a shit predicament now and it sucks. I hope you manage to land on your feet.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Society is emulated with locking in on making money, homeless people I don’t know if people know didn’t start off homeless.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

That's awful.



tell her to quit stinking the place out with the disgusting drugs and sort her life out.

Then throw them out anyway.

You’ve been too busy simping and blowing your cash. You’ve had your head up your arse and now you're in the the shit.

Wake up you donut. You know they were making excuses about getting work. She doesn’t need to worry about you, she’ll be off to another mate while you get thrown under the bus.

I can only advise you to toughen up because you’ll be mugged off again and again in the future. As soon as I saw your posts in the containment thread I was reminded of one of my best mates (the one I mugged off for his 7900 XTX). He is just like you and constantly going through this shit.

Next time don’t take in any freeloaders. Speak to your landlord as honestly as possible and try to come to some agreement.
















This is where simping gets you in life.

It's heartbreaking but you are absolutely 100% correct.

In fact I may tell her she has to leave.

I still don't know what to do with my rent situation though.

 

[InterMusketeer]

What do you mean 'may not be able to'? Force her to pay and look for a new, trustworthy roommate ASAP. Hopefully you have some savings to keep you going a month or two.

 

[Nydius]

To be honest I don't even know if I want a roommate anymore at this point.

You probably won't have a choice, so you need to work on picking better roommates.

I know this doesn't help your immediate situation but you need to understand that when/if you get social security disability it probably won't be enough to live on without having a roommate or some other help.

SSDI takes past earnings, past work history, and estimated future earnings potential lost into account when determining your disability benefit amount and, even then, it's very small compared to past work history. Before RA and neuropathy ruined her hands and nerves, my wife was an medical office professional for 15 years with her last job paying her well north of $20/hour. Combined she had 26 years combined consistent work history. Her disability award amount? A meager $1574/month; the equivalent of $9.84 per hour if it were figured like a standard 40 hour a week job. Three and a half years later and she's over $1700/month thanks to cost of living updates but that hasn't kept pace with the cost increase of everything else.

In addition, after two years on SSDI (retroactive to your award date), you're added to Medicare rolls automatically. If you don't apply (and qualify) for state run Medicaid Extra Help to cover the cost of premiums, social security will begin deducting your Medicare premium automatically (which is $174.70/month in 2024). If she didn't get Extra Help, she'd be losing 1/10th of her monthly benefit on Medicare premiums.

And that's the better of the two disability benefits. If they decide you only qualify for SSI rather than SSDI, you won't get more than $1000 a month (individual maximum SSI for 2024 is $943/month).

Like I said, I know this doesn't help your immediate predicament but since you brought up waiting for social security benefits, I wanted to share my real world experiences. A lot of SSDI lawyers/advocates don't really tell you what to expect. SSDI gives you a source of income but it's not a very strong one and you're still going to need help making ends meet. Especially since strings come attached with SSI/SSDI (like asset and work earnings limits).

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Hopefully you have some savings to keep you going a month or two.

Unfortunately at this time I don't. Nor does she.

The best part of all this is she is supposedly, and I say supposedly, A gifted person. She's very intelligent but she actually does show it and not just say it. She's very good at fixing things up and she knows a lot about world events, etc. She's more than capable of finding many different types of jobs that she's too fucking lazy and unmotivated to do so because of her ADHD.

In fact the only time she really does any kind of work is when she's on Adderall, which she has failed to get her prescription for which she's had before.

Her main excuse is that the buses don't run reliably and it's too hot outside to take them. Yeah.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

So right now my only option seems to be the street. Couchsurfing is out of the question because I don't know anybody who is going to allow me to do that since I really don't have any friends in this state or city.

Meanwhile, she's a pretty girl who has friends and some of them in high places so she won't have any issues finding somewhere to stay at least temporarily.

And I sure as hell don't want to end up in a bed bug ridden shelter where I'm going to get my shit stolen. And with my mother and father both passed away and my relatives in other states who won't take me in because they have their own issues I'm at a fucking loss.

 

[John Marston]

In fact the only time she really does any kind of work is when she's on Adderall, which she has failed to get her prescription for which she's had before.

Her main excuse is that the buses don't run reliably and it's too hot outside to take them. Yeah.

Jesus Christ man I'm so sorry.

What a useless person.

 

[Nydius]

The best part of all this is she is supposedly, and I say supposedly, A gifted person. She's very intelligent but she actually does show it and not just say it.

Due respect, but based on your past descriptions of her activities, I'm not sure I'd call her "very intelligent".

Nicotine and cannabis and alcohol and adderall? Sounds more like someone who needs a reality wake up call, if not rehab.

Meanwhile, she's a pretty girl who has friends and some of them in high places so she won't have any issues finding somewhere to stay at least temporarily.

Sounds like the only 'smarts' she has is how to scam other people into paying for her bad habits.

I'm sorry you got wrapped up in that whirlwind and I hope you're able to land on your feet.

 

[Outlier]

When she moved in on February, she was supposed to look for a bartending job but she kept making excuses.

I really like her but she's unmotivated and part of that is she has ADHD.

NEVER move in with any person who doesn't aspire to stable pay.

I understand mistakes of ignorance get us from time to time, but let's learn from them.

Stop worrying about your ex-roomy and start focusing on YOU getting into a more stable living situation. Start looking for others who already have stable work. Usually those who are looking for roommates.

People who feel the pressure are usually more likely to take these things seriously.


You situation sucks, but you have options. EXPLORE THEM!

 

[Outlier]

So right now my only option seems to be the street. Couchsurfing is out of the question because I don't know anybody who is going to allow me to do that since I really don't have any friends in this state or city.

Meanwhile, she's a pretty girl who has friends and some of them in high places so she won't have any issues finding somewhere to stay at least temporarily.

And I sure as hell don't want to end up in a bed bug ridden shelter where I'm going to get my shit stolen. And with my mother and father both passed away and my relatives in other states who won't take me in because they have their own issues I'm at a fucking loss.

Get that woman out of your head.
She is not your wife, mother, daughter, or even friend.

You are more important.
The soon you focus on your safety, the sooner you can get out of this rut.

 

[NahaNago]

This is rough. You are going to need to do some under the table work while waiting for disability. On the homelessness issue I have no idea. Either a shelter or live in a vehicle if you have one.

 

[MrA]

Unfortunately at this time I don't. Nor does she.

The best part of all this is she is supposedly, and I say supposedly, A gifted person. She's very intelligent but she actually does show it and not just say it. She's very good at fixing things up and she knows a lot about world events, etc. She's more than capable of finding many different types of jobs that she's too fucking lazy and unmotivated to do so because of her ADHD.

In fact the only time she really does any kind of work is when she's on Adderall, which she has failed to get her prescription for which she's had before.

Her main excuse is that the buses don't run reliably and it's too hot outside to take them. Yeah.

tell her to take a long walk off of a short pier,
ADHD is not a get out of doing things free card, the vast majority of people with it don't make themselves a burden

second, check with the local catholic charities in your area, they offer rent assistance to individuals facing immediate eviction regardless of background, so if they have the resources there is a good chance they'll help

there might be other local charities as well, but I don't know your area

 

[EviLore]

If you took over your father’s lease, then she’s not on the lease? And you’ll let yourself become homeless instead of kicking her out and finding a new roommate? Gotta stand up for yourself or people will take advantage of you.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

What currently pisses me off is that I spent so much money on her. I spent a lot of money on gifts, giving her lots of money for the rent, buying her tools and supplies so she could supposedly fix up my house, what she did to some degree but left a pile of junk in my driveway that she has yet to clean up plus she needs Adderall just to do anything when she gets off of her friend.

Oh did I mention? We have a mutual friend and this is the friend that introduced me to the roommate. I almost exaggerate not that those two talk on the phone 24 hours and 7 days a week. She texts or talks to this girl from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to sleep. Her entire world revolves around her friend and it's so mother fucking annoying.

I don't know what is going on between those two but it's got to be more than a friendship, that's for sure.

Anyways because of this bitch I literally have $1.81 in my fucking bank account. All because I'm a stupid ass simp that let myself taking advantage of. And I really wanted that new Zelda game but congrats to her, I took most of my birthday money and spent it on her ass.

 

[West Texas CEO]

If you decide to keep her in your life, please pimp her out on onlyFans selling feet vids.

(I'm being silly to lighten the mood)

 

[Darkmakaimura]

If you decide to keep her in your life, please pimp her out on onlyFans selling feet vids.

There's a possibility I'm going to get an ass today especially thanks to some of the advice here, especially RagnarokIV who has really opened my eyes and made me really think.

Ironically it's her fucking birthday today. If I do get on her ass today, she's going to have one miserable 40th birthday. That's for sure. And if she doesn't have the rent by the 4th, I'm kicking her out.

 

[Soodanim]

This thread has been harsh with the truth, but this sounds like a situation where there isn't time to pussyfoot around. Action is the only way out of this, and right now it's either strictly business or you're homeless.

I hope you have some good luck, but more importantly I hope you can keep your head on straight in this difficult period and make the right decisions for #1 because you're the only person that truly will by the sound of it.

 

[Revolutionary]

Actually frustrating to see a kind person being taken advantage of by someone like that. People like that are scum, and it's best to remove such parasites from your life ASAP.

giving her lots of money for the rent

Seriously? So they didn't even put up their half of the rent? That is absurd. Figure out how much they owe you and make them pay so you don't lose your house.

 

[EviLore]

Gotta establish boundaries. You’re being too nice and not treating a roommate like what it is first and foremost—a business arrangement. It’s okay to be on good terms with someone you’re doing business with, friends even, especially since it involves cohabitation, but if their side of the arrangement is not being fulfilled, and they’re sitting around doing drugs and hanging out all day instead of working because of BS excuses, leading to your peril, then that’s the end of it.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Gotta establish boundaries. You’re being too nice and not treating a roommate like what it is first and foremost—a business arrangement. It’s okay to be on good terms with someone you’re doing business with, friends even, especially since it involves cohabitation, but if their side of the arrangement is not being fulfilled, and they’re sitting around doing drugs and hanging out all day instead of working because of BS excuses, leading to your peril, then that’s the end of it.

That's one of my problems. I can be too nice. I despise confrontation so I really try to avoid it as much as possible. I try to be as good as I can to people but I seem to always get fucked in the end.

The whole situation is really pissed me off to the point where I might just go off on her today. Especially now that I'm pretty much completely broke and can't even afford a sandwich at McDonald's let alone anything else.

 

[Pegasus Actual]

There's a possibility I'm going to get an ass today especially thanks to some of the advice here, especially RagnarokIV who has really opened my eyes and made me really think.

Ironically it's her fucking birthday today. If I do get on her ass today, she's going to have one miserable 40th birthday. That's for sure. And if she doesn't have the rent by the 4th, I'm kicking her out.

40? I had just assumed we were dealing with Gen Z here.

Best of luck with everything, I don't believe I have any useful guidance to give.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

40? I had just assumed we were dealing with Gen Z here.

Best of luck with everything, I don't believe I have any useful guidance to give.

She just turned 40 today.

 

[bitbydeath]

Sounds like you need to kick her out and work on you. That needs to be your motivation. Can you find a way to pay if she isn’t there? Pickup a job/loan/card maybe?

Edit: Maybe your landlord will have more sympathy when they find out your roommate just left suddenly without paying?

 

[IntentionalPun]

Yeah honestly feel bad for you but you need to take this as a bit of a learning experience.

Maybe ask yourself why you were trying so hard to make this deadbeat’s birthday so specials.

She’s 40, anything beyond going out for drinks or something is a little weird. Honestly unless it’s too late, don’t give her that shit lol

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Another thing I need to do is get rid of both of my dachshund dogs. One dog I inherited from my father who passed away a couple of years ago and the other dog I was taking care of for somebody and they passed away from cancer so now I'm stuck with her.

They are both beautiful dogs but I cannot afford to take care of them.

 

[bitbydeath]

10 simple words.

“If you don’t have the money you have to leave.”

Maybe she’ll even magically find money after you say it.

 

[Trilobit]

What currently pisses me off is that I spent so much money on her. I spent a lot of money on gifts, giving her lots of money for the rent, buying her tools and supplies so she could supposedly fix up my house, what she did to some degree but left a pile of junk in my driveway that she has yet to clean up plus she needs Adderall just to do anything when she gets off of her friend.

Oh did I mention? We have a mutual friend and this is the friend that introduced me to the roommate. I almost exaggerate not that those two talk on the phone 24 hours and 7 days a week. She texts or talks to this girl from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to sleep. Her entire world revolves around her friend and it's so mother fucking annoying.

I don't know what is going on between those two but it's got to be more than a friendship, that's for sure.

Anyways because of this bitch I literally have $1.81 in my fucking bank account. All because I'm a stupid ass simp that let myself taking advantage of. And I really wanted that new Zelda game but congrats to her, I took most of my birthday money and spent it on her ass.

Never spend money on girls that aren't your girlfriend or you haven't even dated. It's good that you learned that lesson and I hope everything works out for you. Evilore had good advice so hear him out!

 

[Peggies]

If you decide to keep her in your life, please pimp her out on onlyFans selling feet vids.

(I'm being silly to lighten the mood)

OnlyFeet

 

[Syphon Filter]

how come your family doesnt fly you back to their place?

 

[finalflame]

Sounds like you made a ton of bad decisions, including taking her on as a roommate, and probably trying to "court" her with money you didn't have instead of letting a platonic situation be platonic.

This is nobody's fault but your own. Lesson learned. What's the deal with not being able to go back to family? Stay strong and weather it out either way, broski. Life ain't over.