Support NeoGAF

[Northeastmonk]

I was thinking back to the time my mom made us ghoulash. It was macaroni noodles in tomatoe sauce mixed with left overs meats and pickle juice. She would top it off with cottage cheese. Absolutely disgusting. It was probably the worst thing my mother ever cooked. That’s why I’m wondering. What was the worst meal your parents ever made?

 

[Fbh]

Probably when my mom went through a Tofu phase.
I'm sure there's good recipes with Tofu.........but not the ones my mom was using.

Other than that both my parents are thankfully pretty good at cooking

 

[BadBurger]

My mom tried to emulate a stew we had at a Filipino friend's house. Had like oxtails in it, beef broth bok choy, and bitter melon. Well, the Filipino woman who made it knew how to temper the bitter melon with everything else so that it wasn't overpowering, but rather actually tasted really good. My mom missed that mark by about a mile. It was absolutely disgusting, but we all pretended to like it. I had to scoop in a bunch of rice and add some soy sauce just to get it down.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

My parents ordered Domino's once.

 

[Torrent of Pork]

Every now and then my grandparents get a hair up their asses for chicken pot pie, and it's fucking bland unless I make it.

There are times I'm thankful I used to smoke while learning how to cook. You learn to smack people upside the head with flavor when you only have access to half of your taste buds.

 

[jason10mm]

Cube steak.

This is a cut of beef so tough it has to be pounded into submission. Then slow cooked in a thick paste of cream of mushroom soup.

It was closely followed by her meatloaf. It was DECADES before I ate real meatloaf and discovered how good it is when made properly.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Probably when my mom went through a Tofu phase.
I'm sure there's good recipes with Tofu.........but not the ones my mom was using.

Other than that both my parents are thankfully pretty good at cooking

It’s the best when it gets air fried. I eat it once a week. It’s best when it’s covered in seasoning otherwise it’s very bland.

Every now and then my grandparents get a hair up their asses for chicken pot pie, and it's fucking bland unless I make it.

There are times I'm thankful I used to smoke while learning how to cook. You learn to smack people upside the head with flavor when you only have access to half of your taste buds.

My parents use to buy frozen Marie Callender's Chicken Pot pies. It’s incredibly bland. They were on a big Shepherd’s Pie kick for a while and lamb. I hated lamb. My mom would smother it in cream. I remember gagging at the dinner table. That scene from RE7 made me think of it too. She was so upset that I hated it.

Cube steak.

This is a cut of beef so tough it has to be pounded into submission. Then slow cooked in a thick paste of cream of mushroom soup.

It was closely followed by her meatloaf. It was DECADES before I ate real meatloaf and discovered how good it is when made properly.

It must be a generational thing cause I can’t imagine smothering anything as an adult. My parents smothered everything. Best part about my step father was cooking those with capers because those have a salty flavor.

 

[teezzy]

My dad served me a poorly cooked rabbit once. Made me very nauseated

I was vegetarian for a couple months after

 

[Torrent of Pork]

My parents use to buy frozen Marie Callender's Chicken Pot pies. It’s incredibly bland. They were on a big Shepherd’s Pie kick for a while and lamb. I hated lamb. My mom would smother it in cream. I remember gagging at the dinner table. That scene from RE7 made me think of it too. She was so upset that I hated it.

When I make pot pie I use white gravy made from sausage or bacon grease. It also depends on whether or not I want to put a Latino flair on it with cumin, Mexican oregano, and Chorizo grease instead of Italian sausage grease being the fat base for the sauce.

Now I'll make a bomb-ass Shepherd's Pie with leftovers that won't have anything left. Just have to understand what seasonings do what.

Edit- I also fucked up a lamb dish by following a recipe I saw. NEVER put wine in a sous vide bag. The alcohol will penetrate into the meat, and not burn off with the sear. I thought I was doing some fancy Frog shit, but the meat was inundated with an alcohol nose-flavor while the sauce I made from the bag juices actually tasted how I wanted the meat to taste.

Long story short don't trust the French.

 

[Ash Sparrow]

Sensing a pattern here My mom, she says do you want me to make you some french fries, my mom makes the best french fries, just delicious, she's gone for awhile. We have not been shopping, so theres basically nothing in the house. I'm thinking hmm this is taking awhile. After what seems like a long time she calls me and says I made some.. think they are called potato pons or something..with the last potatos. She'd gotten this old Betty Crocker cook book and decided to experiment with the last potatoes. disappointment ensued, they tasted weird and later i felt sick. To this day me and my siblings remember that as the worst meal. And the time she randomely just decided to add BBQ sauce to my pizza.

 

[Torrent of Pork]

Cube steak.

This is a cut of beef so tough it has to be pounded into submission. Then slow cooked in a thick paste of cream of mushroom soup.

It was closely followed by her meatloaf. It was DECADES before I ate real meatloaf and discovered how good it is when made properly.

'Cube Steak' is Beef Weinersnitzel (aka chicken fried steak) not fucking cooked properly. Bread that shit, and pan fry it.

 

[Billbofet]

My mom used to make this bullshit called Swiss steak. If I recall, she pulverized very low-quality steak, coated it with flour, and then put it in some kind of brown, disgusting liquid to cook.
We had to fish each quivery piece of sweaty bullshit out of what looked like brown motor oil. She always made it in this green casserole bowl that she still has and it angers me every time I see it.

My mom is not a good cook by any measure, but this stuff was next-level bad.

I'm also certain "real" Swiss steak is better. It has to be.

 

[Tams]

Mushroom lasagna.

It wasn't disgusting or anything, but it was this unappetising, sloppy mess. Taste wise, the completely burnt Christmas Cake one year.

Though perhaps I've had worse, as my mother has boasted that she's served dog food as bolognese before and that no one noticed... that was apparently in the 80s though, so who knows.

 

[Fuz]

I'm italian.

They never made a bad meal.

 

[HoodWinked]

eggplant parm, I made it once and turned out decent so my mom made it with no idea and it was just cut up eggplant in spaghetti sauce, and she made it for pot luck lol.

 

[Tams]

I'm italian.

They never made a bad meal.

Eh, I dunno about that. I had some pretty mediocre pasta the last time I went to Italy. Granted, most of the food was excellent.

 

[Peggies]

I was thinking back to the time my mom made us ghoulash. It was macaroni noodles in tomatoe sauce mixed with left overs meats and pickle juice. She would top it off with cottage cheese. Absolutely disgusting. It was probably the worst thing my mother ever cooked. That’s why I’m wondering. What was the worst meal your parents ever made?

Pickle juice?

 

[InfiniteCombo]

My parents never made a bad meal. Seriously.

My mom is a god-tier cook. Everything she makes is at least good, and often just straight up delicious.

My dad is hilarious though. 3 different times I remember him cooking -- not following a recipe, and not making a dish on purpose -- and just grabbing whatever random shit he found in the fridge. And... and... every time, it came out GOOD.

I must've secretly gotten some gift from them because I don't cook very often, but when I do, it's decently good.

 

[Star-Lord]

My mother was the only one who cooked in our house growing up - and it was by her choice, if we ever tried to interfere or intervene, you'd get a frying pan thrown at your head - and, honestly, she never once cooked a bad meal. I may be slightly biased as she's my mother, and I adored her, but it's the goddamn truth. Her food was always tasty, always varied, and always a delight on the eyes and tastebuds. My favourite meal was always the Sunday dinner - she did perfect roast potatoes and greens every damn time. And those Sundays when we had pork - the crackling was simply chef kiss.

 

[Rockondevil]

My mum pranked us with fish eyes and lamb brains.
The brains were crumbed so hard to tell, but the texture was not nice.
Can’t remember what she did with the eyes but my dad found that out before I did thank god.

As for a normal worst meal. Probably just stew, but more because I don’t like it.

 

[saturnalian]

Edit, wrong quote

 

[WhatDidHeSay?]

Weird one this... Because it was bitter-sweet, a bit of a shit-sandwich, if you like (not literally! Lemme' explain).

My mum makes an incredible Sunday dinner, and this was no exception, you name it, every aspect of the foodage was tremendous... So why terrible then?!

...the gravy. Man I can almost taste it recalling how rancid it was, and it covered EVERYTHING, the job lot...Ruined. It was this 'beer' aspect to it, probably mid nineties I'm thinking. It stuck with me because as I say - mum's strike record was AND still remains... But this one time, it was devastating.

THAT was the worst one. Thanks for listening!

 

[JCK75]

As a kid one year at the beach I found a shit ton of clams buried, we tried to cook them having never done it and didn't know how to properly clean them..it was a disaster.

 

[killatopak]

My mom's dishes are the best bar none.

Really the only bad thing about it is when times when she has to rush the cooking and got it burnt but for the most part it's the best. I'm pretty sure everyone's mom is the best. There's just no topping a family home cooked meal.

 

[V1LÆM]

i honestly can't think of any bad meals my parents made for me. if anyone made a bad meal it was my dad not that it would be bad but it'd be half assed and if my mum caught him feeding me it he'd get his ass kicked. i don't mean that in a bad way. he just wouldn't give much thought to it. whatever was easiest/quickest. in a way it was quite exciting because he'd just be like "what do you want to eat?" and whatever i said he'd make it. my mum on the other hand would be like "no you can't have x AND y. you can have x with this OR y with that!" lol. so i've probably ate "bad" meals but i sure as shit enjoyed them lol.

 

[Punished Miku]

We had to fish each quivery piece of sweaty bullshit out of what looked like brown motor oil.

You really have a way with words lol.

 

[IFireflyl]

I was forced to eat dogfood once. But I didn't have a great childhood, so maybe I shouldn't participate in this thread.

 

[Kssio_Aug]

My mom always cooked well, and I really can't remember a single time she made a bad meal.
But my dad..... I still remember when he tried to cook rice for lunch, and when he was finally done with it, it became some sort of hard mass. No idea how he managed to do that, it was just uneatable. He also tried to make cake, not long ago, and after he took from the oven instead of grown it shrunked and was ugly as hell, and didn't taste anything. He is definitely not good at the kitchen.

 

[West Texas CEO]

My parents ordered Domino's once.

 

[p_xavier]

Blood pudding. We rarely had meat because it was expensive but when we had it was that. Hated it. Never ate it again.

 

[DGrayson]

My mom was a good cook. After she died my dad basically lived off his GF but she was a terrible cook. When he had to make food for himself he just got takeout or ate ritz crackers with cream cheese and salami (awesome snack but awful dinner).

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

I'm italian.

They never made a bad meal.

 

[GymWolf]

Spaghetti in pieces with water based dull broth and fucking boiled green lattuce.

A guy was starving on the side of the road and when i offered some of that he spitted in my face and called the police on me.

My mother always was a shit cook tbh, it's a mistery how i was a fat cunt from 9 to 17 years old...

 

[GymWolf]

I'm italian.

They never made a bad meal.

Lol gtfo

 

[Peggies]

I was forced to eat dogfood once. But I didn't have a great childhood, so maybe I shouldn't participate in this thread.

 

[GymWolf]

I was forced to eat dogfood once. But I didn't have a great childhood, so maybe I shouldn't participate in this thread.

My uncle one time ate a dog treats because he thought they were candies.

Then he puked for like 30 min.

It was fun tbh.

 

[GymWolf]

My parents never made a bad meal. Seriously.

My mom is a god-tier cook. Everything she makes is at least good, and often just straight up delicious.

My dad is hilarious though. 3 different times I remember him cooking -- not following a recipe, and not making a dish on purpose -- and just grabbing whatever random shit he found in the fridge. And... and... every time, it came out GOOD.

I must've secretly gotten some gift from them because I don't cook very often, but when I do, it's decently good.

Another one to add on my go fuck yourself list apparently...

 

[Smiggs]

My parents made spaghetti with ketchup, tomato juice, and ground turkey. No spices, no herbs, no garlic. Just ketchup.

They also make goulash basically the exact same way. Yes, I am a broken person now.

 

[Kacho]

Quiche. It was made poorly I just didn't like it and they forced me to eat it every time they made it. I found the texture repulsive.

 

[jshackles]

My step-dad visited India before he got together with my mom, and after that he would eat rice and lentils about five or six times a week for dinner. My mom worked late so most of the time growing up I had to eat this. Probably from the time I was 6 to the time I was 16 I had this for dinner on average 5 times a week.

It's not a particularly bad dish: rice, lentils, cheese, carrots, onion, bell pepper, etc. It's just that I had to eat it nearly every day growing up that the thought of eating it again today even 30+ years later makes me want to vomit.

 

[p_xavier]

My parents made spaghetti with ketchup, tomato juice, and ground turkey. No spices, no herbs, no garlic. Just ketchup.

They also make goulash basically the exact same way. Yes, I am a broken person now.

I hate it when they don't have any self-awareness. My mom thinks she's an amazing cook but we ate cheap processed food, and basically no spices. You can be poor and at least use some pepper. She was amazed that I did a lime-infused tomato cheese soup with spices. I mean it's just adding spices to a can's content lol.

 

[chromhound]

Anything Tofu related and she put fucking raisins in a potato salad...

 

[PaddyOCanager]

Pork chops and lima beans.

If someone served me a plate of that today, I swear to god I'd black out and wake up drenched in their blood.

 

[p_xavier]

Pork chops and lima beans.

If someone served me a plate of that today, I swear to god I'd black out and wake up drenched in their blood.

That doesn't sound bad though?

 

[Smiggs]

I hate it when they don't have any self-awareness. My mom thinks she's an amazing cook but we ate cheap processed food, and basically no spices. You can poor and at least use some pepper. She was amazed that I did a lime-infused tomato cheese soup with spices. I mean it's just adding spices to a can's content lol.

Absolutely! A few spices/herbs, and a good amount of salt/pepper goes a long way to make boring/bad things at least tolerable.

The issue with my parent's cooking was my dad, though. He has the palate of a drunken toddler with a burnt mouth roof and eats very few things.

 

[Smiggs]

Anything Tofu related and she put fucking raisins in a potato salad...

Wars have been started for less... WTF

 

[kunonabi]

I love my mom's cooking and her white rice is legendary but I hate her Swedish meat balls. I think I was 17 when I finally told her I couldn't eat it any longer.

 

[PaddyOCanager]

That doesn't sound bad though?

For context:

Frozen, hockey puck shaped chops with no seasoning and cooked until all moisture has been removed. Paired with unseasoned lima beans that were simply warmed up from the can.

Now eat this once a week, for 16 years. It has taken me at least 10 years to reacquire a taste for any pork product at all. Lima beans are dead to me and there's no coming back.

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Difficult to answer. My mom was a trained chef and my dad never needed to cook.

Not everything was a la carte mind, we slummed it with burgers and chips sometimes.

 

[Mistake]

Pretty much every time squash was cooked. It physically makes me gag, so even if I enjoyed the taste, I can’t swallow it. Same with parsnips. Whenever it was made I was always told “you liked it before!” No, I never liked the goddamn vegetable. This got to the point where I had to throw it on the floor so it would stop being made for me