If that fails(and it likely will, you anime watching nancy boy), find a serrated knife with a narrow blade if you can. Just start digging the fucker out.
Drive a thick wood screw in there, and pull it out with pliers. Or you can use a butter knife, wrap the nose of the bottle several times with a towel, and use the heel of a shoe to knock the cork into the wine bottle.
Edit: The second technique is easier, especially if you don't have a wood screw and/or plier handy. Just make sure to do it before you try picking the cork out with a knife so you don't get bits of cork in your wine.
