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What NOT to do at E3 FAQ
- Thread starter Milkman
- Start date
Patrick Klepek
furiously molesting tim burton
WAIT WAIT WAIT
gazunta is going?!?!?!
gazunta is going?!?!?!
Open Source
Banned
john tv said:
Almost half right. My primary job USED to be working for a game developer, but my lowest game is around 80% on gamerankings.com, and my highest is around 90%.
I just happen to think that the gaming press sucks, and I disagree with the "close off E3 to everyone but the press" sentiments. Are those really such unreasonable opinions? I mean, the Editor-in-Chief at IGN doesn't even know the difference between "it's" and "its".
Most of the print magazines are pretty decent, I suppose, but the online stuff is utter shyte.
I am still of the opinion that the main purpose of E3 and any trade show is facilitating business, not catering to salivating consumers (although that is certainly a valid secondary purpose, and the press is an important tool that companies are using effectively to do that).
Attack You
Member
M3wThr33 said:
With Acclaim gone, I wonder if gravediggers can still get in.
F
Folder
Unconfirmed Member
Non-Brit European, this is true.ferricide said:
You'll find that Brit journos ask no question, eager for the boring aspect to finish so they can start mopping up free lager. Really.
It's the fucking Germans and French who always ask "So, how many polygons is XYZ?" and "How many discs will boring generic PC game come on?"
30. Do not buy hotdogs from homeless Mexican children outside the show.DCharlie said:
31. If 30 is unavoidable, do not go to a swanky evening drinks party wearing all white and think, "Ah a fart, I'll let that out slyly no one will ever... oh my god... no..."
JackFrost2012
Banned
Folder said:
Is there a reason for this? I blame the Amiga.
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Folder
Unconfirmed Member
I have got no idea. I blame the fact that they are French and German and take themselves and the coverage of children's videogames far too seriously.JackFrost2012 said:
I was in a clover Studios roundtable one time and a potentially great interview was ruined by European (non-British) morons asking inane technical questions that no one will ever care about or want to read.
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Folder
Unconfirmed Member
33. Avoid bitter, lying and over-opinionated developers of sub-average games at all costs.Open Source said:
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Folder
Unconfirmed Member
It's not xenophobia. It's six years of experience. Six years of hearing the same questions, over and over again. That no one will ever care about.Izzy said:
Q: Does generic PC game D come on the two discs or in the three of the discs?
A: Who fucking cares?
Q: So please, tell with me how many of the polygons exta will be in the character for this new versions?
A: No. What does that even mean? Please die.
I have wasted in total probably days of my life not drinking free lager, instead listening to German people ask about discs and polygons. Once I wasn't drinking free lager while some cunt from a Swedish PlayStation magazine asked questions about some manual layout design.
Argh! Die!
/rant
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Folder
Unconfirmed Member
1. Fuck off using my name on a public forum. Not on, you know the score. Please edit your post.Izzy said:
2. Of course it's a generalisation. It was a joke.
i am learning alot.
can i ask questions like "what is the point of using bloom lighting in your xwing clone"
or
Why cant you make a game with small ideas that will make it in to the final product instead of promising all this crap that wont ever see the light of day MR MOLYNEUX?
or maybe even
Did you guys think about hiring competant artists when you made this game?
and finally
Isn't this just a halo clone?
can i ask questions like "what is the point of using bloom lighting in your xwing clone"
or
Why cant you make a game with small ideas that will make it in to the final product instead of promising all this crap that wont ever see the light of day MR MOLYNEUX?
or maybe even
Did you guys think about hiring competant artists when you made this game?
and finally
Isn't this just a halo clone?
JackFrost2012
Banned
sp0rsk said:
Fuck, now I have to think of a new question for the Rare roundtable!
galeninjapan
Banned
Does E3 have any cosplay. I was gonna dress up like pikachu, that would be tight.
robertsan21
Member
i am european, sexy and i ask stupid questions, so call me stupid or what ever but that doesnt matter cause at the end of the day i would be the one eating dinner with one of the hottest booth babes at E3
JackFrost2012
Banned
robertsan21 said:
/golfclap
"That's a lovely blouse you're wearing. What's the thread count?"
galeninjapan
Banned
robertsan21 said:
If by "eating dinner with one of the hottest booth babes" you mean " asking her to listen to some euro-trash techno" then yea I belive you.
JackFrost2012
Banned
DCharlie said:lol - until you see PD0 and realise that you've broken the "Folder Clause" and simultaneously realise why you and Mr. TV will be deliverying my free sours pronto !!
Oh, I know full well that PD0 looks great ... in direct proportion to the mediocrity of the rest of Rare's first party lineup. I'd imagine the last few years at Rare have gone something like this:
"You can actually model a human being? Quick, come join the Dark team!"
"Terrible furry fanart? ...Well, someone has to make Kameo."
Why will we owe you sours, tho?
Upon reading about the European bashing going on here, I smolder with Swedish rage!!
But seriously, I can imagine some parts of the European press having trouble handling the English language though (since they're too stubborn to learn English which in turns results in lots of pointless translation to other languages when games are released here, but I digress...), but at least we know our English here in Sweden.
That doesn't prevent us from giving birth to a few idiots now and then, but then...idiots aren't Sweden-exclusive either...
But seriously, I can imagine some parts of the European press having trouble handling the English language though (since they're too stubborn to learn English which in turns results in lots of pointless translation to other languages when games are released here, but I digress...), but at least we know our English here in Sweden.
That doesn't prevent us from giving birth to a few idiots now and then, but then...idiots aren't Sweden-exclusive either...
Lord Error
Insane For Sony
:lol
But yeah, there might be some truth to that. Amiga = demo scene = obsession with tech details / code optimizing etc. I for one love it
JackFrost2012
Banned
Kiriku said:That doesn't prevent us from giving birth to a few idiots now and then, but then...idiots aren't Sweden-exclusive either...
Swedes (Norse/Finns) and the UK (English, Scottish, Irish, some group that starts with W) are all cool, don't worry. When we say "Europeans," we're talking specifically about the bizarro creatures who hail from the Continent. Here's a mnemonic: a euro is just a euro, but FIGS are damn fruitcakes.
DCharlie said:because your PS3 prediction is wrong. You can't win a war with a tub of shit!
I kid... i kid...
I've heard a lot of interesting stuff from both camps, recently ... I still think PS3 will come out on top this generation, but I'm now absolutely convinced that Son's going to bleed marketshare, and we'll be looking at the most even split since the glory days of SNES/Genny. 70/30, if not 60/40. Advantage Sony, but MS will, truly, become the "thought leader" as it were.
THE HOLY CONSOLE WARS SHALL RETURN!
DCharlie
And even i am moderately surprised
Well, as i mentioned, i full expect MS to take a majority share in the US. Elsewhere, i think it'll be business as usual. As stated a few times, it's down at a business level that MS are making differences - and Sony are looking a bit shakey in that regard at the moment.
My major concern is where MS potentially winning a 3rd round would leave us, and what would happen to a Sony running a different business model (ie: something that doesn't need you to bleed before getting the bucks back in)
It'll be an interesting gen this time, but people expecting Sony to have the same lead as last time are going to be surprised, i think. The dangerous thing is , looking at the outlays, it looks like Sony expect to romp home and i think they might have fucked themselves quite badly.
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Folder
Unconfirmed Member
34. Remember not to work. Everyone will just read IGN anyway. Spend as much time as possible sitting next to the cafe drinking lager with Gary Williams in the sunshine.
35. Remember to bully. Need a PC in the media centre but they're all full? Simply target one of the above mentioned French online journalists and kick him off it. This works with anyone smaller/weaker than yourself. Avoid employing this technique with giant angry men. Small scared ones are much better. Or girls.
36. Don't go to any parties. Eating in nice restaurants on the Strip on someone else's expenses is a far more pleasant way to go about things. $40 gin and tonic you say? Oh, why not
37. Only eat one filet mignon from the Saddle Ranch. Your colon can only hold so much cowflesh.
35. Remember to bully. Need a PC in the media centre but they're all full? Simply target one of the above mentioned French online journalists and kick him off it. This works with anyone smaller/weaker than yourself. Avoid employing this technique with giant angry men. Small scared ones are much better. Or girls.
36. Don't go to any parties. Eating in nice restaurants on the Strip on someone else's expenses is a far more pleasant way to go about things. $40 gin and tonic you say? Oh, why not
37. Only eat one filet mignon from the Saddle Ranch. Your colon can only hold so much cowflesh.
JackFrost2012
Banned
DCharlie said:Well, as i mentioned, i full expect MS to take a majority share in the US. Elsewhere, i think it'll be business as usual. As stated a few times, it's down at a business level that MS are making differences - and Sony are looking a bit shakey in that regard at the moment.
My major concern is where MS potentially winning a 3rd round would leave us, and what would happen to a Sony running a different business model (ie: something that doesn't need you to bleed before getting the bucks back in)
It'll be an interesting gen this time, but people expecting Sony to have the same lead as last time are going to be surprised, i think. The dangerous thing is , looking at the outlays, it looks like Sony expect to romp home and i think they might have fucked themselves quite badly.
Majority share? Blasphemy! Although, with the increasing importance (and presence) of multiplatform games like Madden, will US games wait for PS3? Or just get "the new Madden box" this fall, like they did when the PS2 came out? It's not PlayStation, but it plays their sports games and looks very, very pretty...
Word on the street is developers want to fellate MS and stab Sony with rusty knives. With PS2, Sony could get away with ridiculous architecture because of marketshare, but human-being usable development has to look appealing after all these years.
Businesswise, from all accounts Cell is a financial disaster that will take Sony down to Chinatown, while Xbox 2 is a powerful-but-sensible sensation. I'd imagine Sony'll manage to do okay enough to survive out the generation, of course, bruised-if-not-beaten. Which means the real, REAL battle for supremacy will be Xbox 3 from a rising MS vs. PS4 from a tarnished-but-hopefuly-smarter Sony.
The next generation hasn't even even started yet, and I'm already bored. Bring on the REAL console wars of 2011!
TekunoRobby
Tag of Excellence
It doesn't but that won't stop the glorious retards from donning their Pokémon outfits.TehPirate said:
104) If you see any developer out on the show floor (like Gazunta for example) don't simultaneously shit yourself and drool all over their shoes. If you must strike up a conversation, be stoic about it. These are human people to who just happen to make games, at the very least masturbate in the bathrooms when the conversation is done you precocious dick.
105) Do hunt down your favorite GAF contributors and buy them a round of drinks. Especially TekunoRobby considering how anonymous he is and the fact he's a very poor college student. Who knows, he might be making your favorite game next gen! You wouldn't want to run the risk of a horrible TekunoRobby damning your family to all eternity within the credits now do you?
Lord Error
Insane For Sony
That reminds me a lot of the talk that was going on at the beginning of this generation too. However, I think Sony is in a lot better position this time around than they were with PS2 devkits (in the sense that they are actually paying attention to the devkits and development). PSP was already a proof of this - you don't hear devs being disappointed with it, and it seems PS3 will follow the same footsteps. I think devs will have every right to complain if PS2 situation repeats itself though. If that happens I can actually see the rusty knifes comment holding true, but from what I've seen, the early buzz to PS3 devkits has been pretty positive.
Drinky Crow
Banned
robertsan21 said:
you're pretty stupid.
38.) Don't try to use the PCs in the media center without first finding a suitable flat surface to use as a mouse pad. Last year, it took me nearly ten minutes to figure out that the clear desk the mouse was sitting on was the reason it was acting so wonky.
39.) Don't stay in Anaheim. One of my friends last year was in charge of travel preparations. Ignoring scale, he determined that Anaheim was near the convention center. So, to save money, that's where we ended up staying. Yeah, driving 30 minutes each morning in LA traffic is no fun.
39.) Don't stay in Anaheim. One of my friends last year was in charge of travel preparations. Ignoring scale, he determined that Anaheim was near the convention center. So, to save money, that's where we ended up staying. Yeah, driving 30 minutes each morning in LA traffic is no fun.
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Folder
Unconfirmed Member
Try staying in Santa Monica.Minotauro said:
Beach and all its goodies = good
An hour in the car = bad
Good Folder family news come in the form of a likely move to SoCal within the year.
I love you exchange rate!
