i've had thoughts of ending my life before - but it always comes from a place of narcissism since i'd actually want to be around and see how other people react. i'm actually afraid that there is nothing in the afterlife. i want to prolong life as long as possible.
this morning, i understood actual suicidal tendencies. i didn't care if there was nothing else. i just saw a terrible future for this country, the world, and myself, and thought if something happened well... fine.
not at that level anymore though. i've graduated from hollow to angry.
i'm a white male too, so things are going to be relatively okay for me. it's everyone else who is going to be truly fucked. i cannot imagine what they're going through right now.