Procrastination, junk food and porn, probably in that order. Also staying up too late. I used to think going to bed at 3 AM was late, and then that started to become normal. Then 4AM, then 5 AM, then 6AM, now its become common for me to goto bed at 7AM and wake up at like 2 or 3PM in the afternoon. Its gotta stop.
Its actually sort of hilarious in a sad way, I'm always melancholy about it at night, when I'm heading to bed. I say, tomorrow I'm really going to try and accomplish something, be that school work related, getting some programming in, working towards certain tasks that I've been putting off forever, hell, even mundane things like working on the gaming or reading backlog, and the vast majority of the time, I just push it off. Feel guilty about it, say I'll change, and then the cycle repeats. The biggest thing for me, and probably most, is just getting into a habit. Its just the act of starting thats always the hardest. Actually finally started working out and trying to lose weight, and now I do an hour of exercise every day, its become routine, and I dont put it off. Just getting into the habit was the key. Hopefully I can do the same for the rest of the things I always put off.
Junk food was always a huge vice, and I used to order food/get fast food a few times every week, maybe like once or twice every week, and really the only thing that limited it me was honestly just money. Nowadays since money isnt really an issue, I've been getting fast food like 5-6 times a week on average, and its definitely a habit I have to break. The really sad thing is that my parents cook dinner for my family every night, and always make more then enough, but instead I choose to sit in my room and just get fast food anyway, so I dont even have the excuse of the junk food being convenient or that I'm too tired to make anything. The only positive thing is that I pretty much 100% cut out coke, used to need to drink it with like every meal, and now I just literally drink water with everything. Used to always complain I couldnt enjoy a burger and fries without some ice cold coke, and that it just wasnt the same without it. Then I just sorta quit cold turkey with the pop, and its been fine. I shudder to think just how much worse things would be if I kept that up as well.
As for porn, I typically am checking it like every day. I have literally hundred of gigs of material I have downloaded over the years, half the time is just spent editing and cutting certain files, editting it, cataloging it etc. I have so much that I often forget how what I have, and at times I feel as if I'm just adding to it for the simple sake of collecting. It gets pretty bad sometimes when a new girl catches my eye or something, then I'll suddenly need all the material on her, and will obsessively gather everything I can find. Its like, sometimes the urge will just hit, I could be studying for a big exam, or it could be like 4 AM at night, and I'm just about to head to bed, and suddenly I need a certain file or want to watch a certain video, so I'll be searching for it for hours. Those moments after you do the business is when you feel a certain type of shame lol.
Only good thing was that I never tried any of the other vices like drinking/smoking/drugs etc. Just never appealed to me, though I sorta have an addictive personality, so maybe thats for the best.
- EDIT - Its sorta funny rereading what I wrote, and it sorta sounds depressing or bleak, but my life has actually never been better, and things are incredible. I'm loving things right now, but at the same time, I realize I got alot of things I can improve on, and hopefully can work towards. Always trying to improve.
