Fucking up my GCSEs (videogames, lack of motivation). It's led me to be a year behind my friends who are now at University. My first year of A levels were great but this 2nd year isn't looking too good. Again, down to lack of motivation and distractions. Final deadline for all business coursework is tomorrow, and I'm sitting here AND I JUST CAN'T FUCKING DO IT! Bah!!
Also, not being more sociable. I'm learning the hard way. Trying to become a part of a peer group who have known each other their whole lives is HARD! Can't wait for University (if I get in..). A fresh start. For real this time!
You know, I was going to make a thread a couple of days ago titled "your biggest regret", but decided against it - too negative. Then I saw this thread and I held off all morning to visit it. I consider "mess-ups" and "regrets" to be subtley different. What makes a messup a egret is entirely your way of thinking. I've messed up heaps. But you can't go around regretting everything, especially if you're not going to change anything.
That said: I used to be pretty introverted. Not a good socialiser outside my circle of friends, whom I mostly left when I attended university. You know, just the type of person a lot of you guys are/were. That's not a messup. It's not even really a regret. Sometime during my undergrad I had some sort of awakening moment to do with life philosophy. I didn't really act on it for a few years. But when I did I felt much more confident. My messup is letting that person slide somewhat. I still have the ideals, but I lack the motivation to return to them. A residual part of me is still like that, thankfully, and has resulted in me leaving my country. I don't know what the future will bring - it's really unclear and though I enjoy what I'm doing, I don't see my future there ( I just don't think I'm good enough at this) - but I look forward to finding out.
I'm 25... these are the regrets I consider myself to have at present:
- chipping one of my front teeth. I also didn't do anything about another tooth that started squeezing others out of line. I knew it was happening but waited til my next checkup cos I was afraid of what would have to be done. In the end I ended up getting the tooth out anyway. I've not looked after my teeth well-enough generally. I don't have a major fucked up mouth or anything, but its enough that I'm slightly self conscious about my smile.
- popping zits as a teen. I was always told I shouldn't do it, and I shouldn't have. Another thing I'm self conscious about now as an adult is the acne scarring on my temples.
- allowing myself to get fat. Hit 14 stone (196 lbs) at my peak, I've lost two stone since then (168 lbs now) and I'm starting to feel better about myself in that regard but its harder to lose it than it was to gain it. Beer and not being very active = ruination.
- buying a Gamecube and a shit-tonne of games on credit because I didn't have the money up front. Was paying it for 4 years (which some might argue was more years than it had good games! Yes I'm beating you to that joke now). Upside is that I haven't bought anything that stupid on credit since. The last thing I got was my Piano and I paid that during an interest free period.
- got asked to leave my first high school. The implication was that if I didn't go, I would be expelled. As a result I went to a much worse school. Although I ultimately think I got pretty decent grades, and feel that even broad C grades would have been enough to get me onto the courses I ended up doing, I know I could have done better if I'd remained at the first school. I also lost friends in the move as well. Not to mention it caused murder at home, and really disappointed my parents.
- doing an unpopular BTEC qualification at an unpopular college. So many students dropped out that they stopped running the course. I got some credit towards an A-Level in the same subject, but had to pick up several other A Levels. For those who don't understand the British qualifications I just mentioned -- what I'm basically saying is that I wasted an extra year in college basically.
- doing Digital Media Design at Uni (should have done comp sci, or any IT qual, or any course that wasn't 10% practical 90% naval gazing)
- I have pined over several women that I either couldn't have or who didn't really like me enough to go out with me. Wasted attention, wasted time, wasted money, pointless heartache. Can't even say I've come out of it having learned any lessons really, I'm just useless at that shit. I feel what I feel -- impulsively, passionately, whatever. I let my heart (and the heart in my pants) guide me when I should be listening to my head. I have nothing but shitty memories of being an emotional crutch, a fuck buddy, number 2 or less... or worse still, memories where I just embarrassed myself trying things with someone. I've had plenty of physical encounters in this last 9 years, but in all of those I've not had an actual girlfriend cos I tend to look out for one in the wrong place.
- semi-related to that -- I've pissed off several friends, probably hurt one or two of em, and it was never an aim or a goal.
I can't say there's one single fuckup there that bests all the others. They all combine to bother me in moments of personal unhappiness.
Eventually I just decided to shake shit up and move away. I moved 180 miles away, got a new job, tried to get support for new training, stuff like that. I've lost everything in a way, but gained my interest in living back. I've lost weight, I feel I'm on the right track career wise, and I'm finally starting to get over the disappointment of my mistakes with certain women too. Maybe I need to do that before I can find someone whos really for me. I dunno.
Oh and about college - you don't need to use your degree to have made college worthwhile. You don't even really need a degree for it I have been worthwhile. Your college years is a time for finding yourself. Even if you don't (quite usual), you still grow and mature. You shouldn't regret having gone to college. ( I guess easy for me to say since I don't have a crippling loan afterwards).
Too many to count, but two recent ones: First, not having a plan for college. I finished one year, and I did quite well, but now I need to find a new school due to financial issues. Unfortunately, I haven't made much effort to do so. Secondly, pushing away the one person I truly loved. I was like a brother to him, but I didn't want that, so with a sinister concoction of angst and sexual frustration I made things fall apart. In a sense, like a hedgehog's dilemma.
All major fuck-ups that I've had in life have helped me get to wear I am. I'm happy with wear I am. I would have never met my Fiance without said fuck-ups. I wouldn't even have the current set of friends that I have. Nor would I have the perceived outlook on life that I have. I would have missed many eye opening experiences.
basically, what I'm saying is that fuck-ups in life help create who you and and where you are today. Unless you hate yourself and where you are in life, one should embrace their fuck-ups.
"Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!"
Not sticking with soccer instead of worrying about school so much.
Would have been a world class defender playing for god knows who by now.
Played in a soccer team that went without copping a single goal for the whole season. Even played against Marco Bresciano in his younger days and towelled his ass.
"Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!"
- Racking up credit card debt (which I'm no longer doing but still paying off), and fucking up my credit in 2004-05. It's gotten to the point where it's actually affecting what I can do with my life right now.
- Wasting college in every possible way, but if I had to pin it on one specific decision, it would be going with a single occupancy dorm for my sophomore year in 2000 (and beyond) instead of sticking with some randomly assigned roommate. Who knows, I might have actually had a social life in college and still have college buddies to this day had I not done that. ....maybe not though.
- Doing what ever it was I did last year that caused me to have a giant kidney stone requiring multiple surgeries, adding on to my pile of debt.
Almost changed: my biggest fuck up is not fucking finishing college the first time I did it. Even if I finish now I'll spend the rest of my life with 8-10 years less experience than anyone my age.
My teenage years were so bad that I'd consider it a fuck up in and of itself:
- Grades went to shit. Well, I graduated with a 3.5 but I took the SAT in the 7th grade and tested out of high school in 8th grade. I then made the fantastic decision to reject all that in favor of mediocrity. I turned out ok (I'm an engineer now) but man, if I kept going with what I should have been doing, the scholarship money would have rolled in, allowing me to leave college with little or no debt. The crushing student loan payments are a reminder to me to never really just be mediocre at anything.
- I got fat. I lost most of it but I ate a ton of shit. Fast food isn't cheap and if I were to calculate all the money that I spent on it during my teenage years, it could very well be in the thousands. I work out hard now and am in great health. The upside to this is that it got me really into weightlifting, which is probably my favorite hobby.
- I got on forums. Still probably one of the biggest vices I have, considering all the time I wasted on forums. I'm not as big into them as I was 5 or 10 years ago but this is one of the favorite things I like to do to kill the time. Was it worth it? Nope.
- Video games. Fortunately I barely spend money on this but this took away a lot of money that I really could have needed. This kind of ties in with the previous point because for whatever reason, I felt like I needed to keep up with forums with the latest games that I would or would not play. I managed to stop this by just playing what I wanted to play. As my time was taken up by better things, the amount of free time I had for games dropped. Once that free time was available again, I did other things. I still own one console (360) though I could afford to get the others. To be honest, I wouldn't have that kind of will power if it was 8 years ago.
In the end, I managed to stop most of these fuck ups from ruining my 20s. There is still the niggling problem with forums but the total usage time has decreased so getting over them may come to pass. We'll see.
Back in high school I had to do a year over. Basically it felt to me like I was waking up at 6.30 everyday for a year long for nothing. So yeah, pretty much felt like shit for that.
Being rational and deciding to lose my focus on music and art starting mid-highschool ... therefore, didn't major in either in college ... and obviously didn't persue it as a career.
If I could do it again, I'd rather be a struggling musician.
I fucked up my last relationship. I didn't cheat or anything, just had deep issues that created a lot of bullshit, that I started no less. Its been over a year and I think about it everyday but it has completely made me the man I am today. Does it still count as a fuck up if it turns out for the better?
About a year ago I failed out of a pretty high tier NYC university because of procrastination, anxiety, and as a result, depression. Now I'm finishing a semester as a non-degree student at a low tier CUNY school and hoping to somehow work my way back up the ladder.
- Didn't take school seriously in High School or my first year of Community College (Paid for 3 full semesters and dropped every single course post "Drop without receiving a Withdrawl" period.
- Forged my grades from Freshman to Junior year, almost prevented me from graduating, not from school punishment but I barely had enough credits.
- Quit sports my Junior year after tearing my ACL and MCL, I was pretty dominant and had scout attention but decided to quit.
- Not continuing with drawing, I was an excellent artist (IMO at least ) at a young age but quit after 6th/7th grade.
- Treating a girl who was infatuated with me in elementary school, she's fucking hot as shit now.
- Going along with the whole Gay bashing thing, I never really put down Gay people or people who acted "feminine" or "manly", but I unfortunately laughed at such behavior and didn't do anything to stop it.
- Picking on a kid in High School, he definitely deserved some fucking with (He purposely threw a football at the back of my head, called my attention, and hit me in the face which broke a multi hundred dollar pair of glasses) but I took it overboard.
I had always excelled in math (and physics and programming) without much effort before entering college, thus leading me to believe I would either continue to like it when I couldn't just sit in class, not do the homework, and show up for tests and ace them, or continue to have the same success not doing work. Also, the potential salary was a significant draw.
Turns out I hate it.
Music was the only thing I really cared about before college, and the only thing I joyfully worked at. I had mildly considered pursuing it as a career many times, but I always thought, "Nah, doesn't pay enough." My dad always pushed me away from it. So, I wasted a bunch of opportunities late in my high school career and didn't ever apply to any schools for it. (In fact, I only applied to one school total. For engineering.)
Fast forward to a year ago, near the end of my freshman year in college. I started to get huge doubts about where I'm going in life. I wasn't doing well in a couple of my engineering classes. I attended a performance by my former high school choir at a very competitive competition (which they won). Sitting there listening to them triggered all those former feelings of happiness to swell back up. I decided to change majors to music education, but over the summer, my dad talked to me constantly about the financial implications. It was very hard to resist such a constant one-sided barrage that I gradually slipped back into the mindset of, "I'm good at math and science, so I might as well get a job in that, and the money I make will allow me to do things that I want - travel, hobbies, etc."
I went through this year trying to go through with this plan. This semester, I got hit hard with my own inability to really care one bit about my classes. I've maybe been to 20% of them, if that. I couldn't force myself to go to class, or do the homework, or study for tests (which I ended up skipping or falling asleep before). My GPA was 3.79 after my first semester; after this one, it will likely be around 2.3. However, I did decide to be in a choir this year, and that gave me the opportunity to subconsciously foster the idea of becoming a director. We recently got to be in the chorus for our school's performance of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, as well as to be clinic-ed by a renowned conductor, Joseph Flummerfelt, and those opportunities had quite a similar effect as listening to my former choir a year ago. Being a part of that glorious music made me realize (again) just how much I cared about music.
I realize that I'm not into the 'real' classes yet. I realize that careers in engineering are nothing like first-year and second-year classes. But I know I will probably never really care about this field. And most of all, I know there is another choice that I do truly care about and find joy in. I used to be a very materialistic person that thought he needed a fancy sports car and a big house, but I am that person less and less every day. My college has been paid for exclusively by loans so far - my parents never saved up for my college due to various factors, even though they now collectively make $150k/year and we live in an inexpensive suburb in Texas. I will be sitting at $40k in debt after this school year, with 4 or more years to go to just get my bachelor's, due to various registration, audition and acceptance-into-the-school-of-music scheduling, and prerequisite reasons.
But I can't go through life knowing I was passing up my true passion so I could make money.
Now I just have to worry about the consequences of being an atheist choir director.
Playing video games.
I love games but I really wish I hadn't come in contact with them, or at least not that early in my life. Fucked up my social life (even now) and fucked up my attention span and motivation to invest time in my study.
Not being social/participatory in middle/high school for most of the time. I'm pretty smart apparently, but I never did too many extracurriculars or got to know people until junior year.
-2008. Just read my girl threads for fuck's sake. Was a freaking disaster.
-College Wasting of Time: I waste so much time, especially this semester. I've been absent to at least 8 times to each of my classes. Today I didn't go to my Accounting class (Final next week!) just because I went to see Xmen Origins :lol Was worth it though. Also, I haven't attended to another business class in a month. And even then I have a B and 3 A's =P, so not that bad, but I personally feel irresponsible.
messing around in university..... every time i get poor results i tell myself that i will work harder and do well next time but i never happens, i just cant commit myself even if i risk getting kicked out....i have an assignment due tomorrow and instead of finishing it, i'm on GAF
its my final year so i just want to finish up and finally decide what i really want to do
I had always excelled in math (and physics and programming) without much effort before entering college, thus leading me to believe I would either continue to like it when I couldn't just sit in class, not do the homework, and show up for tests and ace them, or continue to have the same success not doing work. Also, the potential salary was a significant draw.
Turns out I hate it.
Music was the only thing I really cared about before college, and the only thing I joyfully worked at. I had mildly considered pursuing it as a career many times, but I always thought, "Nah, doesn't pay enough." My dad always pushed me away from it. So, I wasted a bunch of opportunities late in my high school career and didn't ever apply to any schools for it. (In fact, I only applied to one school total. For engineering.)
Fast forward to a year ago, near the end of my freshman year in college. I started to get huge doubts about where I'm going in life. I wasn't doing well in a couple of my engineering classes. I attended a performance by my former high school choir at a very competitive competition (which they won). Sitting there listening to them triggered all those former feelings of happiness to swell back up. I decided to change majors to music education, but over the summer, my dad talked to me constantly about the financial implications. It was very hard to resist such a constant one-sided barrage that I gradually slipped back into the mindset of, "I'm good at math and science, so I might as well get a job in that, and the money I make will allow me to do things that I want - travel, hobbies, etc."
I went through this year trying to go through with this plan. This semester, I got hit hard with my own inability to really care one bit about my classes. I've maybe been to 20% of them, if that. I couldn't force myself to go to class, or do the homework, or study for tests (which I ended up skipping or falling asleep before). My GPA was 3.79 after my first semester; after this one, it will likely be around 2.3. However, I did decide to be in a choir this year, and that gave me the opportunity to subconsciously foster the idea of becoming a director. We recently got to be in the chorus for our school's performance of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, as well as to be clinic-ed by a renowned conductor, Joseph Flummerfelt, and those opportunities had quite a similar effect as listening to my former choir a year ago. Being a part of that glorious music made me realize (again) just how much I cared about music.
I realize that I'm not into the 'real' classes yet. I realize that careers in engineering are nothing like first-year and second-year classes. But I know I will probably never really care about this field. And most of all, I know there is another choice that I do truly care about and find joy in. I used to be a very materialistic person that thought he needed a fancy sports car and a big house, but I am that person less and less every day. My college has been paid for exclusively by loans so far - my parents never saved up for my college due to various factors, even though they now collectively make $150k/year and we live in an inexpensive suburb in Texas. I will be sitting at $40k in debt after this school year, with 4 or more years to go to just get my bachelor's, due to various registration, audition and acceptance-into-the-school-of-music scheduling, and prerequisite reasons.
But I can't go through life knowing I was passing up my true passion so I could make money.
Now I just have to worry about the consequences of being an atheist choir director.
Yeah, for some reason the whole "think of the money"-line doesn't work. Something to do with having a live of ones own.
I am in similar conditions as you are. Was doing EE as well. Also figured out I hated the actual practices in the market. It's wasted time from a career point of view, but then again it was the whole "think of the career"-line that got me to stay there in the first place.
Just a bunch of fuckups in high school. I blame the majority of it on my family. Parents that aren't there for you and don't know what the fuck they're doing, aunts and uncles breathing down your neck telling you what you should do. I'm glad I'm transfering from community college to a university (actually a nearby health science center) that's in another town. Now I can start anew without any interferences.
Deciding to not go to West Point after being accepted and taking the physical test due to cowardice.
Majoring in Mechanical Engineering because my Mom wanted me to.
Going to a big state school with my high school friends instead of a smaller school and playing football.
Fucking up at said big state college and losing a full academic scholarship and almost flunking completely out of school.
Withdrawing from all my classes for two straight years at a community college.
Posting in this goddamn depressing thread.
Oh joy I thought of more.
Being irresponsible with credit cards in my early 20s. Still paying for this one.
Not telling the girl of my dreams how I felt and instead sleeping with her best friend which pretty much ruined any chance I had with the girl I really liked.
Not having a brother or sister, having no family at all on my father's side, and barely anyone on my mother's side, and my parents divorcing when I had just failed my fourth grade.
Yeah, not really my fault, but the lack of a family life, spending my childhood alone and becoming used to that is a big fuck up for me. I only started realizing this when I turned 25 or so. At that point, it's too late to change myself, so I'm like a big blank canvas, all I have is my job, and I'll never form a family.
I married a lesbian. Didn't know it at the time of course. Good thing it took being with her for 7 years before she figured that out. I got Ross'd. FML.
Oh well. I'm dating a girl now that is a much better fit for me. And she isn't a lesbian. I hope.
Just a bunch of fuckups in high school. I blame the majority of it on my family. Parents that aren't there for you and don't know what the fuck they're doing, aunts and uncles breathing down your neck telling you what you should do. I'm glad I'm transfering from community college to a university (actually a nearby health science center) that's in another town. Now I can start anew without any interferences.
You don't wait till 27. It's not that difficult to get in shape, dress better, etc., and get some hobby. Focus on yourself and you won't even have to search for a girl. They'll notice you easily.
Not having a brother or sister, having no family at all on my father's side, and barely anyone on my mother's side, and my parents divorcing when I had just failed my fourth grade.
Yeah, not really my fault, but the lack of a family life, spending my childhood alone and becoming used to that is a big fuck up for me. I only started realizing this when I turned 25 or so. At that point, it's too late to change myself, so I'm like a big blank canvas, all I have is my job, and I'll never form a family.
) at a young age but quit after 6th/7th grade.