The Interrobanger
Member
Tideas said:
1. I'm primarily an artist and an entrepreneur.
2. I have a day job as an IT manager for a large federal government office.
What was the biggest fuck up of your life?
- Thread starter -COOLIO-
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1. I'm primarily an artist and an entrepreneur.
2. I have a day job as an IT manager for a large federal government office.
Ether_Snake
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mrkgoo said:
Not really actually. At 27 years old, if you haven't even lived a life outside of school and work, if you don't have a single movie, a music CD, a poster on a wall, a story to tell, friends, etc., there's no reason why anyone would be interested in you. It's difficult to explain.
Imagine getting used to being alone since you were a kid since you had no relatives (all your friends do, but not you, plus you're the only "non-immigrant" among them), where you never try to stay in contact with your friends outside of school and the few times you felt like you had real friends they would get tired of you calling them all the time. But it was just a kid trying get out and not be alone, and who eventually started to feel like maybe his friends didn't really like him. This becomes a perception, and you stop trying to keep contact with people at all outside of school.
Behind that is a complete lack of anyone to look up to, your dad being gone and your mother spending her evenings smoking, drinking, and watching TV. Play that in a loop until your mid teens where you are more alone than ever, failing at school, decide to drop out so you can get a job and redo your studies at "adult school" (at 17 years old, trying to get your high school degree which you finally get at 20). Now you're on the line, your life has been a big absolute void, and now your mother borrows money from you and now that you moved to live with your father you have to pay half the rent, and all you're focused on is job stability and having some sort of income, you finally get a real job you're really good at after a year of studies and you move out on your own, you're now 23, but you don't realize all of the above until you turn 25. Because all this time you lived in a void and your consciousness only kicked in when you felt you had to live on your own, but now that you feel like you want to live you realize there was no life behind you to build yourself a future.
When someone talks to you and the only option you have is to pretend you had a life or have nothing to say, but you won't because you're not a liar and you don't like to pretend you're someone you're not, people don't tend to stick around.
Here is a picture of me:
So at this point the only option I feel I have is bail the fuck out of here because I think if I go in a foreign country people will accept that I'm basically a blank slate, being new in the country in all.
But I don't really feel like it either. After a life of nothing, it's a bit difficult to have any desires for anything, especially at the close of your youth.
Ether_Snake said:
Your attitude of yourself reflects how you interact with people. I know this. I'm actually pretty boring - even you probably wouldn't want to hang out with me. That said, when you realise this, when you know when something is wrong, you can just do the opposite. This is not necessarily 'not being yourself'. Everything you do is 'yourself', because you do it. People get into an idea of what 'yourself' is, and they feel like they have to adhere to that. You don't.
I'm 32.
edit: wait, no I'm not, I'm 31. I forget :lol
Ether_Snake
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It's not like I try to adhere to some sort of version of myself. People talk about some music band, I have nothing to say. They talk about a TV show, I have nothing to say. They talk about the latest movie, I have nothing to say. They talk about their SO, I have nothing to say. They talk about their kids or their families, I have nothing to say. They talk about their BBQ, their car, their house, I have nothing to say. They ask me if I had a good weekend, all I have to say is "yes", and it ends there. All I can talk about is work-related stuff because it's all I have any info on.
This guy probably has more to say about all the above subjects:
EDIT: I often forget my age too.
EDIT2: It's not like I can't be funny, etc. I'm not a zombie, but I am a blank canvass as far as life goes, and this makes it difficult to build a future from, especially at this stage.
This guy probably has more to say about all the above subjects:
EDIT: I often forget my age too.
EDIT2: It's not like I can't be funny, etc. I'm not a zombie, but I am a blank canvass as far as life goes, and this makes it difficult to build a future from, especially at this stage.
natethegreat409
Member
I pierced my penis a few weeks ago.... First piercing ever too. Not sure what I was thinking that night. Doing random shit is fun though.
Seriously though, not getting help for my depression sooner. I suffered the last 2 years of high school and first 2 and a half through college before I decided I could not do it alone. Shit almost broke me.
Seriously though, not getting help for my depression sooner. I suffered the last 2 years of high school and first 2 and a half through college before I decided I could not do it alone. Shit almost broke me.
Corran Horn
May the Schwartz be with you
Dumping my girlfriend who was better than me in like everyway...
And playing Ultima Online, loved the game but got addicted, stop playing baseball, hanging with bunch of friends, etc.
And playing Ultima Online, loved the game but got addicted, stop playing baseball, hanging with bunch of friends, etc.
Sir Hamish
Member
Fucked up with a girl last year who ended up really liking me. Eventually I came too my senses, but a bit too late
Kinda wasted high school, didnt get involved in anything and was a bit of a loner
wasted most of 2008. was burnt out on education so dropped out of uni to repeat the semester the following year. but didnt really do anything for the rest of the year but laze about
fortunatley things are on the up
moving out in june with a friend. my social life is pretty amazing and ive met a tonnes of new people. ive been loosing weight and have grown my hair long and been getting a lot of female attention. so ... yay?
Kinda wasted high school, didnt get involved in anything and was a bit of a loner
wasted most of 2008. was burnt out on education so dropped out of uni to repeat the semester the following year. but didnt really do anything for the rest of the year but laze about
fortunatley things are on the up
moving out in june with a friend. my social life is pretty amazing and ive met a tonnes of new people. ive been loosing weight and have grown my hair long and been getting a lot of female attention. so ... yay?
Zoso
It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time.
I honestly don't think I have any major fuckups.
If I had to pick one regret it's that I have too many hobbies and not enough time. So instead of investing all of my time into one hobby and getting really good at that hobby I try to do them all at the same time and I remain relatively mediocre at all of them. I guess I just wish I was great at something.
But such is life. I'm not really one to regret things.
If I had to pick one regret it's that I have too many hobbies and not enough time. So instead of investing all of my time into one hobby and getting really good at that hobby I try to do them all at the same time and I remain relatively mediocre at all of them. I guess I just wish I was great at something.
But such is life. I'm not really one to regret things.
I've been like that for the most of my life until I went to college and pretty much restarted my whole social life. You tend lose the grasp of all reality, events surrounding you life, events outside of your life, and the strangers that either want to help you or abuse you to the point that you are just a body and nothing more. You tend to forget what you want to be and shift your focus on what you should be, but then you are just living a lie. What you should be never got you anywhere, nor the people that accepted the fake you brought no peace in your soul, and you just get caught up in a vicious cycle. That road lead me nowhere but to eventual collapse and despair.Ether_Snake said:It's not like I try to adhere to some sort of version of myself. People talk about some music band, I have nothing to say. They talk about a TV show, I have nothing to say. They talk about the latest movie, I have nothing to say. They talk about their SO, I have nothing to say. They talk about their kids or their families, I have nothing to say. They talk about their BBQ, their car, their house, I have nothing to say. They ask me if I had a good weekend, all I have to say is "yes", and it ends there. All I can talk about is work-related stuff because it's all I have any info on.
This guy probably has more to say about all the above subjects:
EDIT: I often forget my age too.
EDIT2: It's not like I can't be funny, etc. I'm not a zombie, but I am a blank canvass as far as life goes, and this makes it difficult to build a future from, especially at this stage.
I'm actually fit, dress well, know a range of topics, have a keen appreciation for art, starting drawing in my spare time and less playing video games, but that never changed anything. I don't have a problem talking to girls like I used to, the results are just static, some just don't reply to you at all and act as if nothing ever happened the next day.
I'm drunk and miserable and I apologize for that cause the stuff above is just a pile of emotions and lacks coherency. I'm gona go see that chick that didn't reply at her workplace and fuck it, what happens is better than sitting idle creating these meaningless master plans.
JohnDoe8865
Member
Everything from 16-23 pretty much. I literally WASTED 7+ years of my life, doing NOTHING.
Now I'm not where I should be in life at 27. I'm where I should be at 22 or 23.
Now I'm not where I should be in life at 27. I'm where I should be at 22 or 23.
BladeWorker
Member
Not letting my knee heal after a rather gnarly run-in with the boards while I was a skater.
That "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" dude + Shatner were right: You'll miss you're knees when they're gone...:lol
That "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" dude + Shatner were right: You'll miss you're knees when they're gone...:lol
Rapping Granny
Banned
More of a regret, but not staying with Soccer when I was in high school, could have done something with it.
Not a huge one, but I fucked up bad last semester, got lazy and really unmotivated plus the city busses being on strike didn't help either.
Not a huge one, but I fucked up bad last semester, got lazy and really unmotivated plus the city busses being on strike didn't help either.
Rapping Granny
Banned
Acid08 said:
Do did you get caught?
Acid08 said:
It's funny - when people who 'rebel' think they are fighting the system, beating down the 'man', so to speak. But it's all stupid. It's not like everyone is else is being a sheep or anything like that. Teenagers don't realise it, because they are too wrapped up in trying to be recognised as an individual. They look at others and the system as if they are repressing them, but it's just silly teen angst. It's just immaturity.
We've all been through it. You look back now and you 'get' it, and you just wish those going through it now would too. But they don't. And they won't ever. It's how life is.
Although I'd never be wealthy (I just don't have the work ethic, nor investment mind), if I were, I'd like to take some random teen punk on a trip around the world - just to open there eyes a bit.
Yeah. I'm actually a bit thankful it happened. It opened my eyes up sooner rather than later and has helped me progress in a lot more of a positive way. And I have friends right now that are basically what you describe and they're just so stupid. They blame everything and everyone else but themselves for their problems so they can prolong growing up as much as possible. I mean these kids vandalize and put up anti-government shit all over our city and surrounding ones. They try to blame the government for their problems when the only real problem is that they have no work ethic and think that going to school is selling out or whatever.mrkgoo said:
Ether_Snake said:It's not like I try to adhere to some sort of version of myself. People talk about some music band, I have nothing to say. They talk about a TV show, I have nothing to say. They talk about the latest movie, I have nothing to say. They talk about their SO, I have nothing to say. They talk about their kids or their families, I have nothing to say. They talk about their BBQ, their car, their house, I have nothing to say. They ask me if I had a good weekend, all I have to say is "yes", and it ends there. All I can talk about is work-related stuff because it's all I have any info on.
This guy probably has more to say about all the above subjects:
EDIT: I often forget my age too.
EDIT2: It's not like I can't be funny, etc. I'm not a zombie, but I am a blank canvass as far as life goes, and this makes it difficult to build a future from, especially at this stage.
Certainly, there's a fine art to small talk. I used to be against it too, but there's actually a point to it sometimes. It's just being sociable. I guess it's a little social insecurity or plain social awkwardness if you refuse to talk - but there's also a bit of social ineptness if on their part if they talk about something you're obviously not interested in.
But you have to realise you don't have to be in on anything to be sociable. I have no idea about music. I don't know anything about sports. I have very little in common with most of my colleagues and peers. Ironically, the circle of people at my workplace are scientists, and generally, scientists are the least geeky/nerdy people I know. Few people are actually into videogames or computers. I don't particularly enjoy socialising with strangers, but I force myself to anyway. Being out of your comfortzone is actually an important thing to keep you balanced.
Anyway, I'm 31, and I'm probably where I should've been at 27. Not a huge deal, but 3 years can be a long time. My first 'real' job after my tuition. But I have few regrets, simply because I don't allow myself to regret. I just don't want to dwell on it - I know what it's like to be like that, and I don't want to be like that.
Crazyorloco
Member
Seems like video games ruin us.
My biggest mess up is probably getting kicked out of college. (Majora's Mask's fault)..but I actually don't feel so bad about it. Getting kicked out was a huge eye opener and I met a bunch of great friends at another college. It is never too late to go back.
I could say "GOSH I WOULD'VE HAD MY Ph.D BY NOW" (I sometimes do), but i'm pretty happy with what I have now and all the buddies i've met.
My biggest mess up is probably getting kicked out of college. (Majora's Mask's fault)..but I actually don't feel so bad about it. Getting kicked out was a huge eye opener and I met a bunch of great friends at another college. It is never too late to go back.
I could say "GOSH I WOULD'VE HAD MY Ph.D BY NOW" (I sometimes do), but i'm pretty happy with what I have now and all the buddies i've met.
So far it is:
Not buying a few hundred shares of Nintendo when they were trading at $7 and then selling when they hit $70.
AND
Not staying on top of my coding skills while in and after I left college. My job let me go this week due to cut backs and those skills would come in handy right now.
AND
Not putting in the time and effort to get my own business up and running.
If I did any of those life would be a lot better right now.
Not buying a few hundred shares of Nintendo when they were trading at $7 and then selling when they hit $70.
AND
Not staying on top of my coding skills while in and after I left college. My job let me go this week due to cut backs and those skills would come in handy right now.
AND
Not putting in the time and effort to get my own business up and running.
If I did any of those life would be a lot better right now.
TurboLibre
Member
Biggest fuck up? I'd go with missing out on my High School social life by working all the time. My friends would always go out to parties, go on cool trips, and I didn't make most of them because I was working a crappy minimum wage job. In the grand scheme of things it's a good fuck up to have, but hearing about how much fun my friends had in High School, and realizing those are times I could have had, just fills me with regret.
Not sleeping with a hot Brazilian girl who was visiting for a while here in Australia, was with her for a few months but the time never presented itself but in saying that its gave me the oppertunity to go over there soon so silver lining ect.
Been many, many other things, too many to list that i regret and think about all the time..
Been many, many other things, too many to list that i regret and think about all the time..
Taking time off from college. I'm going back in the fall. However, I did learn more about myself, people and world by being at home. Plus, I have an AMAZING girlfriend, money in the bank and a car. So I guess things aren't that bad.
Second.....wasting time in high school trying to fit in with assholes. I do regret selling all of my last-gen consoles and games
Second.....wasting time in high school trying to fit in with assholes. I do regret selling all of my last-gen consoles and games
iamcool388
Member
A long time back, there was a girl... It couldnt be, so it couldnt be. Whats done is done... so yeah.
I still sometimes wonder if life could have been different had I decided otherwise.
I still sometimes wonder if life could have been different had I decided otherwise.
Booze helps. Lots and lots of booze... and women.
Not really.
A little OT:
My girl and I both agree that college/ careers come before our relationship. I love her to death, but no way will I risk fucking up my future being with her. I'm not going to drop out of school forever, to be with her.
Anyway, our relationship is PERFECT. Yeah, yeah. There isn't such a thing as perfection. But what we have is the closest thing to a perfect relationship a guy and a girl can have. Though we don't really have much in common, no one can deny that we both love each other with all our hearts, and would do virtually anything to make the other happy. The ONLY caveat, is that my parents don't like the fact that I'm with her. My family, compared to most American families, is very well off and live comfortably. Everyone, on both my mother and father's side, went to college and make a lot of money. So, it's pretty much mandatory that I do the same, so I don't disgrace our family's name.
My GF's parents are divorced are very middle class. My parents are into fine dining, traveling and all that fancy shmancy "culture" bullshit, while her parents are just your average, every day people. My parents fear I am going to drop out of school and end up marrying her, thus, in their eyes, fucking up my future. They believe I could find a girl that is better than her. Right now, I only want her. She's everything I've always wanted in a girl. She's perfect for me in almost every single way. I wouldn't change one thing about her.
I used to let that bother me. For months, I contemplated breaking up with her, solely because of the pressure from my parents. But I got over that ages ago. I couldn't imagine life without her at this point. She means that much to me. I could give a rats ass whether they approve of her or not. I love her and she loves me. That is all that matters. I just wish I could bring her over my house without having to deal with them being so elitist and dissatisfied. It's an annoyance, plus, it makes her feel unwelcome.
My girl and I both agree that college/ careers come before our relationship. I love her to death, but no way will I risk fucking up my future being with her. I'm not going to drop out of school forever, to be with her.
Anyway, our relationship is PERFECT. Yeah, yeah. There isn't such a thing as perfection. But what we have is the closest thing to a perfect relationship a guy and a girl can have. Though we don't really have much in common, no one can deny that we both love each other with all our hearts, and would do virtually anything to make the other happy. The ONLY caveat, is that my parents don't like the fact that I'm with her. My family, compared to most American families, is very well off and live comfortably. Everyone, on both my mother and father's side, went to college and make a lot of money. So, it's pretty much mandatory that I do the same, so I don't disgrace our family's name.
My GF's parents are divorced are very middle class. My parents are into fine dining, traveling and all that fancy shmancy "culture" bullshit, while her parents are just your average, every day people. My parents fear I am going to drop out of school and end up marrying her, thus, in their eyes, fucking up my future. They believe I could find a girl that is better than her. Right now, I only want her. She's everything I've always wanted in a girl. She's perfect for me in almost every single way. I wouldn't change one thing about her.
I used to let that bother me. For months, I contemplated breaking up with her, solely because of the pressure from my parents. But I got over that ages ago. I couldn't imagine life without her at this point. She means that much to me. I could give a rats ass whether they approve of her or not. I love her and she loves me. That is all that matters. I just wish I could bring her over my house without having to deal with them being so elitist and dissatisfied. It's an annoyance, plus, it makes her feel unwelcome.
iamcool388
Member
-PXG- said:
Well done. If you are sure about it, then go for it. If it turns out to be a mistake, at least you wont regret it for the rest of your life. You made your own decision, take responsibility for it as well as its consequences, and do everything you can to make it work. Good luck!
Goes back to the booze and songs about heartbreak.
You need to stop complaining seriously. Reading that made me just want to slap you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and change. The truth is you're just lazy and don't want to even try to change. Get off the chair, off the internet, go inspire for something, meet new people. do something risky. Seriously its not going to do anygood saying nothing will work out for you because you've been alone your whole life. Anyone can change their lives at any moment I don't care what you say.Ether_Snake said:
iamcool388 said:
About two months into our relationship, she broke up with me (the day the Resistance 2 beta started) because she was mad how I worked too much. At that point, I wasn't sure whether or not I really loved her or not. Eventually, I couldn't take the loneliness any longer. I realized I did love her. So, drove to her house, explained my true feelings to her and how much I really cared. After I was done, she started crying and came to the realization that she had made a huge mistake.
Since that day, it's been pure bliss with her. My life would have been completely different if I didn't drive up to her house that day. My past is filled with loneliness, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I hate to say it, but I'd probably be dead if I wasn't with her right now. I'm not religious at all, but I am very thankful that I have her. Every day, every moment I am with her, I feel like the happiest guy in the world. No one will ever be able to take that away from me.
sonikokaruto
Banned
having a really really really cute and good looking girl with her arms around my neck, looking at me straight to my eyes and her saying : i don't have a boyfriend anymore
i just stood shut.
I kinda regret it, but the circumstances made me made that choice.
Still, she has an amazing ass, amazing boobs, and amazing personality. She's also sort'a cute.
i just stood shut.
I kinda regret it, but the circumstances made me made that choice.
Still, she has an amazing ass, amazing boobs, and amazing personality. She's also sort'a cute.
A couple stupid, a couple more serious.
- Buying a Playstation 2 and selling it 3 weeks after. Should never have sold my classic PC games for this shit.
- Selling my Magic the Gathering collection. I never actually played it but loved creating decks (strategy aspect) and staring at the great art.
- Quitting fencing. I used to fence 4 years and tried table tennis for 3 years after that. It fucking sucked compared to fencing.
- Getting a computer science degree. Fucking IT jobs. I wish I worked outside with plants or something like that. Although I'm quite sure if I did that, I'd say "fuck this biology, I want to do some programming!". Yeah.
- Buying a Playstation 2 and selling it 3 weeks after. Should never have sold my classic PC games for this shit.
- Selling my Magic the Gathering collection. I never actually played it but loved creating decks (strategy aspect) and staring at the great art.
- Quitting fencing. I used to fence 4 years and tried table tennis for 3 years after that. It fucking sucked compared to fencing.
- Getting a computer science degree. Fucking IT jobs. I wish I worked outside with plants or something like that. Although I'm quite sure if I did that, I'd say "fuck this biology, I want to do some programming!". Yeah.
NameGenerated
Who paid you to grab Dr. Pavel?
Not caring about school I guess...and doing nothing for fun at all throughout high school.
Forceatowulf
G***n S**n*bi
probably when I took a piss in the apartment garage 9 years ago.
Our toilet was clogged up so we had to either piss outside or walk to the gas station a half a mile away. I was going to piss outside but there were a lot of kids playing around the apartment so I had nowhere to go for privacy. So I decided to go into the small apartment garage. As I was pissing a fucking old man came out of nowhere and started yelling at me, apparently he lived there and did not take kindly to his "house" being pissed on. I immediately fled of course, but he followed me back to my apartment and called my mother to come and clean up my piss.
In hindsight... I should have just walked to the fucking gas station.
edit- oh yeah and I also bought manhunt 2 at full price. I still don't know what the fuck I was thinking back then.
Our toilet was clogged up so we had to either piss outside or walk to the gas station a half a mile away. I was going to piss outside but there were a lot of kids playing around the apartment so I had nowhere to go for privacy. So I decided to go into the small apartment garage. As I was pissing a fucking old man came out of nowhere and started yelling at me, apparently he lived there and did not take kindly to his "house" being pissed on. I immediately fled of course, but he followed me back to my apartment and called my mother to come and clean up my piss.
In hindsight... I should have just walked to the fucking gas station.
edit- oh yeah and I also bought manhunt 2 at full price. I still don't know what the fuck I was thinking back then.
Spaceman Spiff
Member
I originally had no intention of posting in this thread simply because there are so many things I've done over the years, mostly academic, to fuck up my life that I'd rather not recall them.
Seeing as how I'm hardly alone in that regard, though, what the hell:
I ended up graduating high school with a respectable GPA, but not enough to get into UC Berkeley which was the only school I applied to, like an idiot. I was alternatively admitted to UC Riverside, but chose not to go for logistical reasons, and I deeply regret that.
So for the better part of the last six years I've languished in the community college system with no real focus. I've been on academic probation for much of that time, resulting in my transfer agreement to UC Davis being revoked and ultimately my dismissal from college a few semesters ago. Since then, I've kept my grades up and was recently accepted at CSU Sacramento for the fall semester. Yet even that looks somewhat uncertain now, due to the classes I've dropped this semester and a frankly alarming number of failed repeats and withdrawals on my transcript.
At this point, I honestly have no idea what I'll end up doing should my admission be revoked. As it is I should have graduated years ago. The next few months will be very telling.
Seeing as how I'm hardly alone in that regard, though, what the hell:
I ended up graduating high school with a respectable GPA, but not enough to get into UC Berkeley which was the only school I applied to, like an idiot. I was alternatively admitted to UC Riverside, but chose not to go for logistical reasons, and I deeply regret that.
So for the better part of the last six years I've languished in the community college system with no real focus. I've been on academic probation for much of that time, resulting in my transfer agreement to UC Davis being revoked and ultimately my dismissal from college a few semesters ago. Since then, I've kept my grades up and was recently accepted at CSU Sacramento for the fall semester. Yet even that looks somewhat uncertain now, due to the classes I've dropped this semester and a frankly alarming number of failed repeats and withdrawals on my transcript.
At this point, I honestly have no idea what I'll end up doing should my admission be revoked. As it is I should have graduated years ago. The next few months will be very telling.
roosters93
Member
Considering I'm only 16, the biggest fuck-up of my life would not be asking a girl out a couple of years ago when we both had the hots for each other cause I was a pussy and insecure. Since then she has gone out with 3 of my friends and I still think shes the hottest girl at school.
I can understand not bringing a cheat sheet, but what kind of test doesn't allow a calculator? :s
-COOLIO- said:
I can understand not bringing a cheat sheet, but what kind of test doesn't allow a calculator? :s
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