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[RustyNails]

Say you have a teenage kid under 18 years of age, and you ask them why were they out so late and they respond with "It's none of your business", how do you respond? Is it your business or not. Suppose the kid turns over 18 years of age and still lives with you. Does this change everything? No kermit pls.

 

[IchigoSharingan]

That's a tough one.

Your own kid telling you that is a sign that you basically failed the past 15+ years of life in forging a bond of trust with your child.

At that point the best you could do is tell them you trust 'em and kinda lay off. They may be doing something dangerous or stupid but not a whole lot you can do about that.

 

[jaypah]

Foot to ass?

 

[Ishida]

Slap across the face.

 

[CornBurrito]

Foot to ass?

Slap across the face.

Sure if you want to ignore any of the studies in recent years that show corporal punishment is one of the least effective methods for changing a child's behavior.

Inb4 "it worked for me!!!!"

Note the word "least effective"

 

[Ikuu]

Sure if you want to ignore any of the studies in recent years that show corporal punishment is one of the least effective methods for changing a child's behavior.

Never did me any harm.

 

[Skilletor]

If they're coming back to my house, it's my business. If they don't want it to be my business, they're welcome to try and forge their way outside of my house, without the help that makes their actions my business.

 

[.GqueB.]

"FUCK YOU DEN NUCKA!"

Spoiler

What Ichigo said.

 

[Ishida]

Sure if you want to ignore any of the studies in recent years that show corporal punishment is one of the least effective methods for changing a child's behavior.

Yeah, sure pal. I've seen more insolent little jerks these days that parents are too afraid of "traumatizing them for life", than in the years past.

 

[SJRB]

"As long as you live in this house, knowing where you are at night is my business"

 

[jim-jam bongs]

"Bitch, I am making it my business!"

 

[captmorgan]

Just tell them "your right it is none of my business, oh and rent is due Friday"

 

[CornBurrito]

Never did me any harm.

Great. You're an outlier. Do you typically make claims about reality based on outliers?

Yeah, sure pal. I've seen more insolent little jerks these days that parents are too afraid of "traumatizing them for life", than in the years past.

There are forms of behavior control that aren't "hit them." That some people don't punish their kids at all doesn't counter the research done on the topic.

 

[ActuallyHulk]

Grounded until they explain themselves at the very least.

 

[NegroNinja]

I would do exactly what my mother used to do to me. Slap the shit out of me, cuss me out, then ground me. Needless to say my mother put the fear of God in me lol.

 

[Ishida]

Great. You're an outlier. Do you typically make claims about reality based on outliers?



There are forms of behavior control that aren't "hit them."

Sure. But they WON'T get insolent and arrogant in front of me, and in my house.

 

[jaypah]

Sure if you want to ignore any of the studies in recent years that show corporal punishment is one of the least effective methods for changing a child's behavior.

Inb4 "it worked for me!!!!"

Note the word "least effective"

Ok then I suppose I'll be a horrible parent but I really don't know how to respond to a 16 year old telling me that. I'd hope that by that point we would have been able to relate more but if I'm honest I'd probably put foot to ass.

 

[Dusk Soldier]

I remember one time when I was a kid, my mom called me out of my room. I told her I couldn't come because I was busy.

Spoiler

playing with my toys.

I think she just laughed and walked away. I eventually went and saw what she wanted.

 

[RustyNails]

If they're coming back to my house, it's my business. If they don't want it to be my business, they're welcome to try and forge their way outside of my house, without the help that makes their actions my business.

"As long as you live in this house, knowing where you are at night is my business"

Just tell them "your right it is none of my business, oh and rent is due Friday"

"Why?"

I'm asking this because it can go terribly wrong, such as your kid running away or something.

 

[jelly]

Live in your house, your business.

Better to talk about things, puts everyone at ease eventually.

 

[Linkhero1]

I'd take away their walkman or unplug the phone in their room so they understand I mean business.

 

[captmorgan]

Sure if you want to ignore any of the studies in recent years that show corporal punishment is one of the least effective methods for changing a child's behavior.

Inb4 "it worked for me!!!!"

Note the word "least effective"

Nope I fairly certain the kid smashing bottles at the grocery store while mommy just kept repeating "Im going to count to 3 billy, 1....billy put that down....2"

that was the least effective way to change the childs behavior

 

[hiroshawn]

That's just plain disrespect. The kid didn't even bother making something up. You've already failed as a parent.

 

[IchigoSharingan]

Grounded until they explain themselves at the very least.

That's simply building resentment and will not stop future behavior from improving.

 

[Abstruse Moose]

Change the WiFi password.

 

[Snakepit]

As long as they live under my roof its my business.

 

[CornBurrito]

Sure. But they WON'T get insolent and arrogant in front of me, and in my house.

That's great. There are ways of punishing those things without resorting to physically striking them. But I can see why the lazy/easy way would be the most desirable for you.

Nope I fairly certain the kid smashing bottles at the grocery store while mommy just kept repeating "Im going to count to 3 billy, 1....billy put that down....2"

that was the least effective way to change the childs behavior

Congrats, you described the mother performing a behavior that doesn't fall under negative/positive reinforcement or positive/negative punishment. Which are the four categories of behavior I am talking about.

Positive punishment (hitting, etc...) is the least effective out of those four categories.

"I am going to count to 3" and then doing nothing about it isn't any of those.

 

[Dr Prob]

What if it's none of your business, Grandpa? Were you in my room!?

 

[Homeboyd]

1v1

 

[Infinite_Daremo]

If I said that to my parents when I was younger the belt would surely be cracked.

 

[lethial]

"You are my business."

 

[.GqueB.]

I would do exactly what my mother used to do to me. Slap the shit out of me, cuss me out, then ground me. Needless to say my mother put the fear of God in me lol.

Lucky you. My mom just said "ok...". She really didn't care then but now she's trying to create this closer relationship.

It isn't going well. OP don't do what my mom did.

 

[Transhuman]

As long as they live under my roof its my business.

 

[giga]

Live in your house. Eat your food. Use your internet, water, gas, and electricity. Your business.

 

[Ishida]

That's great. There are ways of punishing those things without resorting to physically striking them. But I can see why the lazy/easy way would be the most desirable for you.

Wow... I don't even...

 

[captmorgan]

"Why?"

I'm asking this because it can go terribly wrong, such as your kid running away or something.

and? Let them run away they will either come back or start their on lives. I left home at 17, life is actually pretty easy.

 

[FunkyMunkey]

Explain to the kid that if they want your respect, they need to respect you in return. Relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. If that doesn't work, start taking away privileges and explain that you're just returning the attitude back.

 

[Ikuu]

What a world, can't hit your kids or shout at them anymore.

 

[Zantetsuken]

Sure. But they WON'T get insolent and arrogant in front of me, and in my house.

This. I see kids run all over their parents in public. Talk to them any kind of way. It's shameful.

If a kid says none of my business, then my money would be none of their business until they come and talk to me.

I got beat with switches and belts. A kid's reasoning is unlike an adults.

 

[CornBurrito]

Wow... I don't even...

Hitting is the laziest disciplinary method. Especially when it isn't followed up with an explanation for why the child's behavior is wrong. I'm sorry you can't even.

Meanwhile negative punishment, and positive/negative reinforcement are factually and demonstrably better methods for altering behavior.

What a world, can't hit your kids or shout at them anymore.

Feel free to do either of those things. Ignoring science and anti-intellectualism must be fun for you.

Maybe look up what positive/negative reinforcement are.

 

[echoshifting]

Your own kid telling you that is a sign that you basically failed the past 15+ years of life in forging a bond of trust with your child.

That, or you were very successful in raising a child with autonomy and personal agency. A child asserting her personal boundaries is not necessarily a bad thing. It would really depend entirely on the situation. A teenager, out late with no explanation, would lose privileges. A lot of privileges, because I'd be forced to assume the worst. I wouldn't press the subject, though. I would indicate that I am available to discuss whatever's going on...and then ground her ass.

18+, pretty sure that's none of my business, why even ask? You are responsible for creating the confrontation.

 

[ActuallyHulk]

That's simply building resentment and will not stop future behavior from improving.

Too bad for them. They'll get over it. Parents shouldn't be walked all over. I resented my dad while I was growing up because he put his foot down firmly. Now I love him to death.

 

[jtb]

who says "none of your business" as a kid, anyways? I was a fantastic liar growing up and pretty good at covering my tracks too.

 

[RustyNails]

That's just plain disrespect. The kid didn't even bother making something up. You've already failed as a parent.

How did it come to that point? What did I do wrong for the past 16 years? Mind you I don't even have kids (but will soon).

 

[Nibel]

You sip the tea

And tell your kid that everything it does is kind of your business. It lives in your house, it should respect you.

 

[entremet]

Live in your house. Eat your food. Use your internet, water, gas, and electricity. Your business.

Yep.

 

[terrisus]

"Where did you come from?"/"Since when did I have a child?"

Spoiler

And then I cry from joy at the fact that I have a child

Spoiler

And then cry from sadness when I realize that I don't - that it was all some hypothetical message board situation

 

[Ishida]

Hitting is the laziest disciplinary method. Especially when it isn't followed up with an explanation for why the child's behavior is wrong. I'm sorry you can't even.

According to who, exactly? And of course I would explain why I slapped his jaw off.

"You don't talk to me like that."

As simple as that. People like you are the reason we see so many insolent little shits these days. Parents are too afraid of punishing children. "Oh no! Poor little souls!".

 

[Swindle]

That answer is very common. It's the answer of a human being who has a mistaken sense of reality. He has a popular misconception between what it means to be an independent adult, and dependent adult. I've seen or heard about this situation often. Usually it's the 18 year old kid who still needs mommy and daddy to pay all their bills and who lives at home, but somehow thinks being 18 years of age is a license to live a lifestyle that is comfortable for them regardless of what his parents might think.

Most responsible parents usually answer that with "As long as you're living under my roof" that we've all grown to know and love in our favorite sitcoms.

 

[Echelon079]

Yeah, sure pal. I've seen more insolent little jerks these days that parents are too afraid of "traumatizing them for life", than in the years past.

More like afraid of going to jail. Kids have the power plays in this day and age