For those of you playing the full "I want an agent & publisher" game, here's an article listing 15 Agents Seeking Adult Fantasy Novels NOW. Article was just published today.
So kind of a interesting question. How often do you guys share story information and such over the internet? I will admit, I can be stingy, as even if my idea isn't exactly original, I always fear of someone stealing my work. Which is weird since my work isn't something that would win awards or anything.
I share with certain people all the time.
I am not to worried about people stealing my stuff as the scope of the work is so large with so little chance of a payday that I can't see someone wanting it
that being said I am trying to avoid posting to much online. not because of fears of someone stealing it, but because I am afraid that if I do get some fans, someone might dig up something I said that would be a major future story spoiler
I do often share ideas I have though that I would like to see created but know I don't have the time to work on right now or that I know I can't do. For example, while in my writing I try to layer details upon details to the point where a good number of random comments a character says is actually referencing something down the line, though most of them I aim to make sense in the moment and not have readers be able to tell it was a reference until that thing happens later lol. I've outlined book 3 in detail and have books 4-6 loosely outlined, of which I reference most of the main areas/characters in those books in either book 1 or 2 (which are mostly done with the rough drafts) I actively try to eliminate plot holes while allowing readers who want to dig deeper the ability to... even with all of that though, I highly doubt I could write a decent mystery book.
I might be able to do it as an arc of my story, but I don't think I could do a stand alone book as I would want to spend far to much time building characters and thus would end up with a far to long mystery for a normal book.
I would say I don't think I could do horror.... but given how many random horror ideas I come up with despite not being a fan of the genre... I have a feeling one of the ideas might eventually stick lol.
I might be able to do it as an arc of my story, but I don't think I could do a stand alone book as I would want to spend far to much time building characters and thus would end up with a far to long mystery for a normal book.
Cause this is me and why I sometimes have hard time writing. I can never think: "Oh yeah this will just be a standalone story."
No, I always get attached to the world and it's character that I want to keep exploring it. Hell, my main big story I'm writing part of "The Northern Frost" trilogy. Or it was a trilogy until when I start planning out the three stories and the ending that I really wanted to see what happens after...
I'm a sucker for really- REALLY long series. One of the reason's One Piece still remains one of my favorite series of all time.
Just in case anyone is interested, this is the synopsis of my "main" story I'm trying to write:
The Northern Frost Book One: The Frozen Whisper
Grenova, a frozen land that never escapes the winter, is home to many clans of people. Though they used to be in an internal conflict, the clans
eventually made peace, forming the Clan Council in the city of Revane. Only a select number of clans are part of it, yet they attempt to steer Grenova
in a better direction than their forefathers did.
When the Clan Leader or Vinr, of Clan Venfang is killed in a battle against Ice Giants, a new Vinr must be selected. Thus it falls upon one of the
Clan's bravest, Fridmund Vogsson, as select by the Clan Elder, to take this role. But it is not to be, upon the morning of the ceremony, Fridmund is found
mysteriously frozen and the ice is spreading. Tensions are running high on how to deal with the situation, but Hakon Felguard, Fridmund's long time
friend who swears to no clan, along with others in the Venfang clan, will seek out a way to save their friend.
I've written so much about this world, the various nations, histories, religions, orders, and the very worlds origins.
While I do know the age of characters is the main determining factor if a story is YA or not, despite my description, I don't feel like the story is YA-ish.
Cause this is me and why I sometimes have hard time writing. I can never think: "Oh yeah this will just be a standalone story."
No, I always get attached to the world and it's character that I want to keep exploring it. Hell, my main big story I'm writing part of "The Northern Frost" trilogy. Or it was a trilogy until when I start planning out the three stories and the ending that I really wanted to see what happens after...
I'm a sucker for really- REALLY long series. One of the reason's One Piece still remains one of my favorite series of all time.
Well for me in general I dislike movies. They tend to be to short for me to care about the characters, so short of action or comedy movies the list of movies I enjoy is very tiny.
Thus it should be no surprise that my writing style tends to be more drawn out as I want characters that i want to know more about, and to eventually learn about them
The story I am writing actually started off as a horrible naruto knock off, but only mechanically for powers. While I called the abilities ninjitsu and what not, I didn't have any ninjas, in fact the base of the first book, which was a guy sent to another world with his girlfriend and he has to save his girlfriend (with an overarching plot to eventually take out an evil lord) has been there from the start, thus why I was able to salvage the idea even though it was originally a knock off. Even back then I focused more on the character stories rather than taking out bad guys, thus even though it started off as a knock off of naruto, once I altered the battle system in the second draft it didn't feel like naruto anymore.
that being said I shifted my model to one piece a bit more. at least in regards to arcs/character growth, and focusing on the main plot lol. My story is shonen like, but I don't have much combat in the first book, and no one is calling out names, and because I disliked the fact that my hero who got sucked into this world quickly grew stronger than everyone else (common shonen hero) in the most recent draft I have been actively making him weaker than pretty much everyone else and it has been much better for it. I still have him being special in that while others have limitations about what type of abilities they can use, he seemingly doesn't have these limitations. But at the same time he isn't actively good at any one ability, in fact I adopted a D&D stat mentality for building my characters lol.
for those who don't know D&D uses 6 main stats.
Strength
Dexterity
Constitution
Wisdom
Intelligence
Charisma
depending on the version either an 8 or a 10 is what a normal human is expected to have. (though it might just be pathfinder that uses 10, but it's basically D&D 3.75) the higher the number the better.
for my main character his stats would be along the lines of.
Strength - 12
Dexterity - 12
Constitution - 12
Wisdom - 12
Intelligence - 14 (I should note this is an overall score, he is very smart in certain areas)
Charisma - 12
above average across the board, not bad at anything but not great at anything.
meanwhile the first party member would be more along the lines of
Strength - 12
Dexterity - 18
Constitution - 10
Wisdom - 14
Intelligence - 10
Charisma -12
and the second party member is more along the lines of
my main character is designed to do a bit of everything.
the second character is kind of a monk/healer type
and the third character is clearly an offensive powerhouse.
I've found in this draft by defining the characters this way, and basically treating them as D&D characters that it is much easier to keep track of power levels, to make sure I don't make things scale to high to fast. In my first draft the power levels got goofy, and I want to avoid that this time. especially since either around the mid point, or about 3/4th of the way through I am planning on a massive power increase for the entire main cast (I am still deciding how early I want it to happen ) so I need to make sure that there is room to do such a power increase.
but for now, I need to still get motivated to finish a wedding, and then figure out how much detail I want to go into about my main character slowly being baked alive by the sun (spoilered in case someone doesn' want to read icky details )
as he is pinned to a pillar, his skin blistering to the point where they pop and sores open up across his body ect
and then decide if I still want to do a comma sequence that serves as heavy foreshadow for future stuff, as well as gives me time to rebuild my main character back into a person after breaking him so much, and gives a break between the bad stuff that happened to him, and the next bad stuff that happens to him. (what can I say, I am not nice to my main character in the first book. the second book goes much better for him, mostly because I needed to give the characters time to get over the events in the first book and didn't want to pile to much more on them.)
I had a point in all of this, but I forget what it was, so yeah... we could be similar. when I finish the stuff I was talking about, I am likely going to clean up the first book a bit and then get people to read at least the first chapter... as I am going to have two versions of that. One where I leave descriptions as current tense (my natural writing tendency as I tend to write what I am visualizing in my head) and one where I adapt a more common past tense description style.
I've written so much about this world, the various nations, histories, religions, orders, and the very worlds origins.
While I do know the age of characters is the main determining factor if a story is YA or not, despite my description, I don't feel like the story is YA-ish.
your's sounds more political than mine
At some point I should build my world a bit more, but... I get to cheat some since it's based off an alternate version of Earth. The layout of the world is much the same as Earth, but the nations/history/origins are different. I for now have left religions similar to ours, just with a lesser focus than our world has as the origin of humanity is quite a bit different, and thus lead to less of a focus of religion and more of a focus of clans to preserve certain bloodlines. I do have a large chunk of data about the world in general though, as I have a detailed history of the main story bad guy written out, as well as detailed notes about what people think is the origins of humanity, and what is the origins of humanity ect. I have a good idea of how nations will go and what not, but don't have them super detailed.
as for my story... my main character originally was 17. in the second draft i made him 21 though as I wanted him collage age instead of high school age so I could make it slightly more believable that he would have access to prototype technology that I wanted to add
Hmm. I actually don't have anything in the OP for query letter recommendations. If anyone has a site they would recommend to provide instruction on how to write a query letter, let me know and I'll add it.
On the subject of ideas, I have more ideas than I have time to write them all. If I was actually being paid to write novels, I might get around to all of them. As it is, I've got a full time job and a full time family, so writing gets a margin of my time (when I'm not just exhausted and feel like chilling out).
Hahaha, you reckon it does? It's been a whole year of tossing different ideas around onto what can and cannot be but I suppose that's the beauty of creating. I plan to update it more as the weeks go by, what have you been working on?
It almost puts me in mind of a visual novel, I really like it!
I'm working on a fantasy novel which I've been told has a feel of Anne of Green Gables/Narnia, aimed at a younger audience but I'd like to think anyone can enjoy it
By the way, this might be interesting to some folks here. Just children's books currently, but I can imagine this being tied to Audible to really bring books to life.
your's sounds more political than mine
At some point I should build my world a bit more, but... I get to cheat some since it's based off an alternate version of Earth. The layout of the world is much the same as Earth, but the nations/history/origins are different. I for now have left religions similar to ours, just with a lesser focus than our world has as the origin of humanity is quite a bit different, and thus lead to less of a focus of religion and more of a focus of clans to preserve certain bloodlines. I do have a large chunk of data about the world in general though, as I have a detailed history of the main story bad guy written out, as well as detailed notes about what people think is the origins of humanity, and what is the origins of humanity ect. I have a good idea of how nations will go and what not, but don't have them super detailed.
as for my story... my main character originally was 17. in the second draft i made him 21 though as I wanted him collage age instead of high school age so I could make it slightly more believable that he would have access to prototype technology that I wanted to add
Interesting. So it's Earth but not Earth? Cool. Intrigued to read that.
My story is a little bit politcal as there is the element of Clan Council and how they interact with other Clans and Countries. But I would say there is more of the journey element as the "cure" has them leave their friend frozen in the city of Revane as they seek it out. Not a huge spoiler since it's revealed in chapter two...
What froze him was an ancient Elven artifact that had been created before the Elves and Dwarfs fought each other to near-extinction. There's only a few Dwarfs left and there is rumors that some Dark Elves live underground but no one has seen them in more than a thousand years. Long before the events of the story. Due to this, while some other species also exist, the story is mainly just Humans. So naturally the heroes will need to go and find a counter measure whcih will have them going to various places across Grenova.
Interesting. So it's Earth but not Earth? Cool. Intrigued to read that.
My story is a little bit politcal as there is the element of Clan Council and how they interact with other Clans and Countries. But I would say there is more of the journey element as the "cure" has them leave their friend frozen in the city of Revane as they seek it out. Not a huge spoiler since it's revealed in chapter two...
What froze him was an ancient Elven artifact that had been created before the Elves and Dwarfs fought each other to near-extinction. There's only a few Dwarfs left and there is rumors that some Dark Elves live underground but no one has seen them in more than a thousand years. Long before the events of the story. Due to this, while some other species also exist, the story is mainly just Humans. So naturally the heroes will need to go and find a counter measure whcih will have them going to various places across Grenova.
as for earth but not earth (I am gonna put this in quotes so if you quote me it won't show up as i will need to delete this after you read it as if I do publish it since this is book 2 information I likely shouldn't have it floating on the internet lol.
I mean there is more written than that about the world and more little details, but that is the main design of my world.
So I'm slowly writing to the point where my young heroine 'drops from the world' and finds herself in a parallel world full of magic. I'm excited to design and write lots of weird and wonderful characters
I view the query letter as your back-of-the-book pitch. What's the book about? What's the hook? Who's the main character, and why should I give a fuck?
I can post mine if you'd like. I can't promise they're good, but agents have asked for more after reading them.
I've been trying to think of a word (or invent one) that means something kind of complicated. I'm stuck on it, so I figured I'd ask Writer-GAF!
You know that feeling where you're seeing something that is extremely enticing (possibly even sexually), and you have a strong desire to look further, but you know that if you look it will diminish the overall feeling of pleasure? It's kind of like when you're dreaming and you gain a moment of lucidity, but then when you realize you're lucid the dream starts to slip away just as you try to focus on controlling it. Or similarly, when you see something sexy that has just enough hidden/obscured to make you want it more, but you know that uncovering it would cause the present lustful feeling to dissipate?
It's like the platonic ideal is better than the reality, or something. Anyway, if you guys know a word (in any language!) or can think of a good way to invent it, I'd really love it.
I've been trying to think of a word (or invent one) that means something kind of complicated. I'm stuck on it, so I figured I'd ask Writer-GAF!
You know that feeling where you're seeing something that is extremely enticing (possibly even sexually), and you have a strong desire to look further, but you know that if you look it will diminish the overall feeling of pleasure? It's kind of like when you're dreaming and you gain a moment of lucidity, but then when you realize you're lucid the dream starts to slip away just as you try to focus on controlling it. Or similarly, when you see something sexy that has just enough hidden/obscured to make you want it more, but you know that uncovering it would cause the present lustful feeling to dissipate?
It's like the platonic ideal is better than the reality, or something. Anyway, if you guys know a word (in any language!) or can think of a good way to invent it, I'd really love it.
Man, I have a character that's easy/fun to write when he's high as fuck and pissed off, but a bitch to handle when he's sober. Accidentally gave him a traveling companion whose motives are maybe nonsensical right now.
Draft two, like always, will be awful.
But I'm progressing, and at a rate that I don't hate, so we'll see how this goes. I do feel like this story is progressing too slowly at points. Starts off with a bang, but it's lulling out. Chapter six is becoming too long. Will hopefully chop it down pretty heavily in edits.
Edit: Just gonna end it here. Found a place to stop. Figure I'll cut back to another character and it'll end on a cliffhanger of "there's a fire" and when next I go to BP6, we'll find out the bar he was going to got lit on fire because BP6 likes to do that.
Unless it goes in a completely fuckall different direction between now and then of course.
I'm actually currently finishing reworking book 1.
I finished book 1 and went right into book 2 as i needed to define the combat system better in general. I changed a lot of stuff in book 2 so I needed to go back and redo a lot of book one.
it will go to editing soon, hopefully, and then I will work on book 3 some. I have references in book 1 all the way to book 5 or 6 (depending on how things play out) so I am likely going to aim to get all the way through all of those before sending out book 1 so I can make sure all the details match up.
I've been trying to think of a word (or invent one) that means something kind of complicated. I'm stuck on it, so I figured I'd ask Writer-GAF!
You know that feeling where you're seeing something that is extremely enticing (possibly even sexually), and you have a strong desire to look further, but you know that if you look it will diminish the overall feeling of pleasure? It's kind of like when you're dreaming and you gain a moment of lucidity, but then when you realize you're lucid the dream starts to slip away just as you try to focus on controlling it. Or similarly, when you see something sexy that has just enough hidden/obscured to make you want it more, but you know that uncovering it would cause the present lustful feeling to dissipate?
It's like the platonic ideal is better than the reality, or something. Anyway, if you guys know a word (in any language!) or can think of a good way to invent it, I'd really love it.
It kinda sounds like schadenfreude, in the sense that you're taking pleasure from something that you probably wouldn't want to happen to yourself... but in your case, the something is 'fulfilling your own curiosity', not 'someone else's pain'?
Like, I wouldn't want to be a victim of that person's pain, I wouldn't want to be a victim of following up on my feelings of curiosity, because me being unaware that the mystery is unsolved, is what pleasures me?
According to Google, schadenfreude as a word has German roots, meaning "harm joy" (schaden is harm, freude is joy). So, using that word and its roots as a base to build the word, how about:
neufreude - deriving pleasure from unfulfilled curiosity
The base words being "neugierig" (curious) and "freude" (joy); shortened to a prefix "neu-" because it looks like the English "new" and "neural", so "neufreude" sounds like it's kinda evoking a sense of new joy from constant unfulfilled mental exercise over something?
It kinda sounds like schadenfreude, in the sense that you're taking pleasure from something that you probably wouldn't want to happen to yourself... but in your case, the something is 'fulfilling your own curiosity', not 'someone else's pain'?
Like, I wouldn't want to be a victim of that person's pain, I wouldn't want to be a victim of following up on my feelings of curiosity, because me being unaware that the mystery is unsolved, is what pleasures me?
According to Google, schadenfreude as a word has German roots, meaning "harm joy" (schaden is harm, freude is joy). So, using that word and its roots as a base to build the word, how about:
neufreude - deriving pleasure from unfulfilled curiosity
The base words being "neugierig" (curious) and "freude" (joy); shortened to a prefix "neu-" because it looks like the English "new" and "neural", so "neufreude" sounds like it's kinda evoking a sense of new joy from constant unfulfilled mental exercise over something?
Yes yes yes, this is good, exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for
The feeling I'm talking about isn't necessarily about something you wouldn't want to happen to yourself, it's kind of like... the pleasure of voyeurism combined with joy of the imagination, with the corresponding desire to take action to remove the imagination aspect (through discovery) while simultaneously recognizing that the imagination is what makes it so pleasurable.
As a straight guy, I guess it's kind of like seeing a beautiful woman posed in lingerie and partially draped in shadow. You want to see more but to do so would ruin the effect it has on you, or at the least transform it fundamentally into something else.
I've been trying to think of a word (or invent one) that means something kind of complicated. I'm stuck on it, so I figured I'd ask Writer-GAF!
You know that feeling where you're seeing something that is extremely enticing (possibly even sexually), and you have a strong desire to look further, but you know that if you look it will diminish the overall feeling of pleasure? It's kind of like when you're dreaming and you gain a moment of lucidity, but then when you realize you're lucid the dream starts to slip away just as you try to focus on controlling it. Or similarly, when you see something sexy that has just enough hidden/obscured to make you want it more, but you know that uncovering it would cause the present lustful feeling to dissipate?
It's like the platonic ideal is better than the reality, or something. Anyway, if you guys know a word (in any language!) or can think of a good way to invent it, I'd really love it.
I've been trying to think of a word (or invent one) that means something kind of complicated. I'm stuck on it, so I figured I'd ask Writer-GAF!
You know that feeling where you're seeing something that is extremely enticing (possibly even sexually), and you have a strong desire to look further, but you know that if you look it will diminish the overall feeling of pleasure? It's kind of like when you're dreaming and you gain a moment of lucidity, but then when you realize you're lucid the dream starts to slip away just as you try to focus on controlling it. Or similarly, when you see something sexy that has just enough hidden/obscured to make you want it more, but you know that uncovering it would cause the present lustful feeling to dissipate?
It's like the platonic ideal is better than the reality, or something. Anyway, if you guys know a word (in any language!) or can think of a good way to invent it, I'd really love it.
Yes yes yes, this is good, exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for
The feeling I'm talking about isn't necessarily about something you wouldn't want to happen to yourself, it's kind of like... the pleasure of voyeurism combined with joy of the imagination, with the corresponding desire to take action to remove the imagination aspect (through discovery) while simultaneously recognizing that the imagination is what makes it so pleasurable.
As a straight guy, I guess it's kind of like seeing a beautiful woman posed in lingerie and partially draped in shadow. You want to see more but to do so would ruin the effect it has on you, or at the least transform it fundamentally into something else.
I think I describe something a little like this in the first chapter of my novel, I compare it to opening a present on Christmas morning; that for a while sometimes it's nice just to sit there with the unwrapped present because for that time the present could be absolutely anything, and there's a certain pleasure in that.
I've been trying to think of a word (or invent one) that means something kind of complicated. I'm stuck on it, so I figured I'd ask Writer-GAF!
You know that feeling where you're seeing something that is extremely enticing (possibly even sexually), and you have a strong desire to look further, but you know that if you look it will diminish the overall feeling of pleasure? It's kind of like when you're dreaming and you gain a moment of lucidity, but then when you realize you're lucid the dream starts to slip away just as you try to focus on controlling it. Or similarly, when you see something sexy that has just enough hidden/obscured to make you want it more, but you know that uncovering it would cause the present lustful feeling to dissipate?
It's like the platonic ideal is better than the reality, or something. Anyway, if you guys know a word (in any language!) or can think of a good way to invent it, I'd really love it.
So GAF, let's share a blurb about our hero/heroine (yeah it's too quiet in here and I love reading about what everyone is creating)
This is my heroine, Kate.
Because my story is a fantasy (with a focus on the journey) I really want her to have a strong development arc. She starts the story as a 14 year old farmhand, who is a little diminutive and sensitive, loves nature and sketching and painting everything she sees. Avoiding spoilers, her journey sees her make lots of companions (including a talking dog called Duke who speaks in rhyming couplets) and travel to a different world - where she eventually grows to become a strong and respected knight (her in the picture) by the end of the story.
After about ten weeks of not hearing back from that one publishing house, I guess it's time to ask what's up. Thought about waiting another two weeks but man, I'm getting antsy. Still haven't heard back from the agent who has it yet, but at least she's only had it for a week. That's understandable.
Watch 'em both get back to me at the same time with the same answer so I can be double depressed!
A nobody NASA pilot from the silver age of the space shuttle program (1980s) who, unbeknownst to him, will trigger a chain reaction that will unsettle the foundation of a distant solar system and, inevitably, our own.
A nobody NASA pilot from the silver age of the space shuttle program (1980s) who, unbeknownst to him, will trigger a chain reaction that will unsettle the foundation of a distant solar system and, inevitably, our own.
It almost puts me in mind of a visual novel, I really like it!
I'm working on a fantasy novel which I've been told has a feel of Anne of Green Gables/Narnia, aimed at a younger audience but I'd like to think anyone can enjoy it
You had me at fantasy and younger audience. I think that's usually the best way to write, a lot more fluidity in terms of the target, that way it's easier to refine it. Also I'm curious to know more of this fantasy, what's it about, is it about a character, the place or??
I don't necessarily believe in black or white, good or evil characters. In my first book, I gave several characters from both sides of the conflict a voice, to provide a glimpse into their goals and ambitions. I'm sure some will call Elnir or Viktor "evil" but I consider them more shades of gray. They both get a form of validation in the end. In other words, there's a lot of gray out there.
I think fantasy tends to be "he's good" vs. "he's evil." At least a lot of traditional fantasy does. We've certainly seen a bit of the grimdark in the past decade or so that gives us a different perspective.
I raise all of this because the sequel I'm working on right now, set in the same world but with no repeating characters, will follow this same theme. I've always been interested in finding out just how did Sauron become this evil dude, how did Anakin go to the dark side, etc. (The prequels tell the story but not very well imo; though the theme of breaking rules for love is something I'm reusing.)
My main character is essentially the man who will need to set himself up as "the dark lord" to ensure that the world he helped build doesn't tear itself apart in a civil war because of the love he bears the king's daughter. He will be propelled down this "forsaken path" by his own conscience and those he once called friends, as he tries to do what's right for the many (the realm) while doing what's so terribly wrong for the few ... or the one (himself).
Batra is an innkeeper in a remote trade settlement. But, when a guest happens to pay for their stay with bloodied money. she soon gets more than she bargained for.
The setting is colonial India-inspired with a twist of drug cartels, genre is blackpowder fantasy. Been working on it since NaNo 2014 and a certain GAF thread
I like your character art btw, reminds me of Ghibli stuff
BP6 is the sixth pawn in the black army. He's a chess piece. He also hates everything about his life and spends most of his days and nights snorting sugar or drinking copious amounts of soda. These things get him high as fuck.
Then one day he hears this G.I. Joe army has a weapon, one that really works. He heads off to take it because revenge is best served when tripping on Skittles.
Benjamin is a 16 year old who lost his mom a year ago to a terrible accident, Since then he has been plagued with dreams which show him battling alongside three people he has never met. In an effort to help his son, his dad moves them to a new town hoping the new environment would help.
But Benjamin's dreams coming bursting into reality when he meets Liam, one of the boys from his dream. Thus he is pushed into a magical war which he is destined to fight alongside Liam and two others.
Samantha "Sam" Grayson is a 21 y.o. journalism student, someone who's not necessarily talented in writing or reporting, but feels like it's the right thing to study given her family's background in the field. Her experiences with it have actually have been rather bad, since she ran a blog in her high school days that later crashed and burned. Similarly to her parents, who die in a mysterious hit-and-run the day she returns home for Christmas after a year spent in NYC. Sam is determined to uncover the truth behind her parents' death, while struggling to avoid the mysterious perpetrator coming after her.
Went for a slightly nerdy heroine for my second thriller and I'm actually pretty happy with how it's going so far. Although, it's sometimes challenging to come up with tense, nerve-wracking scenarios that someone, who is basically a failed blogger girl, could to turn to her advantage. At least it's an alright set-up for when she toughens up in the second half and starts taking matters into her own hands.
Interesting read, as is most of what you post. Gonna sit on that as I write my challenge story. I've been lacking motivations in my plots, so thought I'd write a couple things to try and fix that.
As for novel protagonists, got none with names. I have two ideas I've been sitting on, but I usually make characters around the theme in which I want to explore
For a horror novel idea that's quickly falling out of my interests: a heroine in a story about the idea of 'would you passively(as in do nothing and it happens) sacrifice someone to save yourself. And once you do that, how hard would it be to do something? Needless to say, she gets covered in blood by the end of this story.
For the fantasy novel that is falling even quicker from my interests: she has a name but I forget it. Anyway she's a hunter in a village that specializes in guides through the forest to big cities in the north that can only be accessed through boats otherwise. They also specialize in tall tails to make relatively safe journeys more treacherous, thus a need for guides. Anyway she's a single mother living with her parents in a shack in the northern edge. She likes to carve things out of wood for her daughter, and the daughter insists there is a story to go with each dumb carving. She's good with a bow, and is not afraid to lie to win/get out of a fight. I think the biggest character moment for her is when she fights the strongest fighter in the village, says 'no, but what will our daughter think?' and he gets flustered like 'whhaaaaa' and she throws him through a window. Not actually his daughter.
Kyle Tiefer is 29, born 2314. He's highly ambitious and wants to affect great change on the world, as by the 24th century civilization has stagnated socially, economically and technologically, if not fallen into increasing decay. He's torn up by the throngs of homeless and destitute individuals scattered throughout his city that he passes by everyday on the way to his place of work, and desperately wants to make the world a better place.
Unfortunately affecting change seems next to impossible. He's stuck on the bottom rung in a low-paying job with no advancement and every step he takes toward a foot hold on the path to power is met with obstacle after obstacle.
He has real leadership qualities, but due to his mounting frustration he comes off as more arrogant and argumentative than a truly inspiring individual. He's so focused on his lofty ambitions it often overshadows that kinder side that seems to dictate everything he works toward in life.
When things are going his way, Kyle's demeanor changes significantly, a less brooding, more relatable confidence takes hold and, as the frustration pulls back, his charisma manifests. Beneath it all that 'natural born leader' Persona exists, but it's hidden beneath the darker elements of his character.
So i've been fucking around with Critique Circle to get feedback on some longer short stories. Not a bad website, but I've seem to run into people who I really don't know how to gauge their responses.
Then there was this one fucker, who in the process of critiquing my thing rewrote HUGE Portions(near 2,000 extra words) to 'illustrate' his point. I honestly feel super insulted, but I don't know if I'm overreacting? Is this common? Good even? I really don't know, but I feel like anyone rewriting anything of someone's story outside of minor lines is really rude.
I dunno? Am I overreacting? Would this bother anyone else this much?
So i've been fucking around with Critique Circle to get feedback on some longer short stories. Not a bad website, but I've seem to run into people who I really don't know how to gauge their responses.
Then there was this one fucker, who in the process of critiquing my thing rewrote HUGE Portions(near 2,000 extra words) to 'illustrate' his point. I honestly feel super insulted, but I don't know if I'm overreacting? Is this common? Good even? I really don't know, but I feel like anyone rewriting anything of someone's story outside of minor lines is really rude.
I dunno? Am I overreacting? Would this bother anyone else this much?
No I'd find that pretty rude too. I went to Film School, for screenwriting so it's I suppose only an adjacent field, but we were taught that it was bad form to just rewrite someone's work for them as part of feedback.
It's natural for people to point out flaws, and acceptable for them to offer potential suggestions as for how to improve. But rewriting was something that was definitely frowned upon and I'd feel pretty personally insulted too.
I wouldn't be surprised if the guy has a superiority/inferiority complex and wants to "strut his stuff" to make himself look good. Or, I suppose, he really is trying to be nice, but doesn't understand how rude it can be to walk over other people's work like that.
As for how common that is for Critique Communities online I have no idea, I've never used one personally. It's instances like yours that have always kept me wary.
So i've been fucking around with Critique Circle to get feedback on some longer short stories. Not a bad website, but I've seem to run into people who I really don't know how to gauge their responses.
Then there was this one fucker, who in the process of critiquing my thing rewrote HUGE Portions(near 2,000 extra words) to 'illustrate' his point. I honestly feel super insulted, but I don't know if I'm overreacting? Is this common? Good even? I really don't know, but I feel like anyone rewriting anything of someone's story outside of minor lines is really rude.
I dunno? Am I overreacting? Would this bother anyone else this much?
Forget about it and move on. Some critiques come from people with a chip on their shoulderand wreak a path of destructive feedback, rather than constructive.
I've dealt with similar responses in the path and it's crushed my confidence. I once had a beta reader who told me all the reasons that they would never buy the story if they received it in their slush pile, but not buoyed by a bit of positive criticism. I worked through some of the emotional impact of that critique with some other friends/beta readers, and moved on. I eventually sold that story, and it's bones are exactly the same as the first draft that was eviscerated by the beta reader.
Honestly, other writers, especially those who are also actively in a place in their career where they're soliciting feedback from other aspiring writers (like you and me, for instance), aren't always the best beta readers. We all come with too many of our own baked in bad habits, hopes, and aspirations to be completely clear and useful in our evaluations of someone else's work. Most of us, however, compensate for this by being overly positive in our critiquesothers, unfortunately, compensate by being brutal and "honest."
So I picked up some random fantasy novels and read a few chapters to compare it to my own writing.
Mine is boring as shit! Not necessarily the raw content, but the flavor, of which there is none. Many scene-to-scene descriptions are just that - descriptions, followed by dialogue, followed by events, repeat until end of chapter. What do I mean? Example (I hate posting my stuff on here, but here goes, and it's one of my earlier chapters so it's some of my worst material, oh boy):
As Kalan regained his footing and exited the submarine, he was taken aback by his surroundings. The dock looked identical to the dock above the surface, but was attached directly to the side of the ruins, which seemed to sprawl out endlessly into the ocean in the distance. The architecture was unlike anything that he had ever seen; small towers jut up from the ocean floor, ending in circular protrusions with small windows surrounding their perimeter. The building in front of them was quite large and dome shaped, with smaller domes on its sides, and light brimmed from within. Kalan thought to himself that the series of domes looked much like soap bubbles. Each of the buildings looked to be made of glass, perfectly reflecting its surroundings like a mirror. In front of them was a large door, also made of the glass-like material, and shaped like a circle. It lay halfway destroyed, giving a small glimpse of its interior, which seemed to give off a shocking red and yellow glow. Most striking of all was the large bubble surrounding the city, creating an area underwater that seemed to be full of air. Kalan and the others were able to move and breathe as freely as they were above the surface. Derrick rubbed his hands together excitedly, and even Rilak appeared impressed as he took in the sight of the buildings before them.
"I've never seen anything like this," Kalan exclaimed. "This has been sitting beneath the city?" Marron nodded in agreement. "Not many people see ancient ruins," she said. "And they all look distinctly unique." Kalan's face was regaining its color, and genuine excitement began to reflect in his eyes. "It's like a city of bubbly mirrors," he exclaimed. Derrick sniffled. "The most amazing part," he proclaimed, "is that, according to our research, this city was beneath the surface since its inception." He looked at the bubble above. "We have no idea how they managed to build it beneath the ocean, but it's almost certain that that's what they did." He pushed up his glasses. "And today, we hopefully remove the last obstacle to keeping us from that information." He walked towards the destroyed door. "Come," he said hurriedly. "I will lead us inside." Marron briskly walked over to his side, her face serious and composed. "I don't think so, Dr. Anthon," she said with a commanding tone. "We shall go first. We can't have our client in danger." Derrick looked slightly offended. "Right," he said, dejectedly. Marron poked her head inside the doorway before pushing it open. The glass-like material creaked as if it were steel, and the door opened smoothly.
Is that ok? I think it's decent. But it's so bland. Dialogue is also hilariously obviously separated by simple actions for the sake of breaking it apart. There's no brilliant metaphors or anecdotal history about the ruin or even much reaction to what's going on from the characters. Looks like I have to go back and edit... again!
So I picked up some random fantasy novels and read a few chapters to compare it to my own writing.
Mine is boring as shit! Not necessarily the raw content, but the flavor, of which there is none. Many scene-to-scene descriptions are just that - descriptions, followed by dialogue, followed by events, repeat until end of chapter. What do I mean? Example (I hate posting my stuff on here, but here goes, and it's one of my earlier chapters so it's some of my worst material, oh boy):
Is that ok? I think it's decent. But it's so bland. Dialogue is also hilariously obviously separated by simple actions for the sake of breaking it apart. There's no brilliant metaphors or anecdotal history about the ruin or even much reaction to what's going on from the characters. Looks like I have to go back and edit... again!
You could try breaking it up with the internal thoughts/reactions of the characters, but that's really just adding an extra style to it rather than "fixing" anything wrong with it. I dunno that it reads all that bad to be honest, I read far less tuned writing when I was in film school and I wasn't exactly bored reading those couple paragraphs (lacked context to keep me engaged but that's whatever.) By all means edit till you're satisfied, but you might just be viewing your work too harshly.
What's an example of what you think blew your writing out of the water?
Alright... This took me a while cause I saw that others weren't really doing Bio's, outside some small references, but more so the overview of the character. Though I basically have a bio in there anyway...
Hakon Felguard is a 26 year old man from Grenova, a frozen wasteland northern region of the continent of Feywryn. Unlike many of his fellow northerner's, due to being clan-less (after his Clan was wiped out for food during a multi-year long blizzard) and being adopted by a clan-less Shaman, he traveled the continent with her for reasons he never quite understood. Thus he learned to live in various cultures and his morals and ideas shaped as an amalgam of them. Most evident in his two-handed sword fighting style which is far more common in the south than in Grenova.
He considers himself lucky and sometimes can be oblivious to the plights of fellow clan-less Grenovan's as he ended up becoming friends with one of the largest clans. Despite this friendship, he never joined their clan and thus he still recieves scorn from other clans and the clan-less. At times he would debate leaving it all behind and just moving south, but he still feels connected to the snowy land and is compelled to stay for that reason.
However all of this has lead to someone who, while willing to risk his own life to save his friends, has no true ambitions in life. He lives a day by day basis and never really pondering what he want's to end up doing. He can acknowledge that he himself is a great fighter but he could not tell you what makes him tick.
Perhaps when a conflict arises that sets him out on a journey he will discover what he is made of.
That last part is a bit cliche due to me being bad at listing out character flaws and the such. I keep my characters following their own internal logic's but I write the flaws as the story develops.
Honestly, other writers, especially those who are also actively in a place in their career where they're soliciting feedback from other aspiring writers (like you and me, for instance), aren't always the best beta readers. We all come with too many of our own baked in bad habits, hopes, and aspirations to be completely clear and useful in our evaluations of someone else's work. Most of us, however, compensate for this by being overly positive in our critiquesothers, unfortunately, compensate by being brutal and "honest."
This. People I know ask me for feedback and I give it, but I always feel like I have no business doing so, especially when I see chunks I'd make drastic changes to.
Had someone ask me for opinions on his first chapter, which he thinks is FINALLY DONE. I told him to chop out like half of it. It was so boring D:
But what the fuck do I know? I ain't published or anything. Got no money to back up my mouth.
