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[SolVanderlyn]

You could try breaking it up with the internal thoughts/reactions of the characters, but that's really just adding an extra style to it rather than "fixing" anything wrong with it. I dunno that it reads all that bad to be honest, I read far less tuned writing when I was in film school and I wasn't exactly bored reading those couple paragraphs (lacked context to keep me engaged but that's whatever.) By all means edit till you're satisfied, but you might just be viewing your work too harshly.

What's an example of what you think blew your writing out of the water?

I did some writing yesterday. I woke up and did some writing this morning. I'm taking a break, but I'm going to do some more writing after this post.



Looks fine. Maybe format it so it's not two huge clumps, but the writing isn't a problem to me.

More importantly, what's the story of your tag?

Hm, I'm still not satisfied with it. Glad you guys seem to think it's alright, though. I picked up A Song of Ice and Fire and a Warcraft novel - one highly regarded and not so highly regarded, haha.

My tag is from a thread about spoilers. I said that when I used to be a teacher I would write students up for spoiling movies, books, or games, because I think it's a crime. Approximately a minute later I had this tag.

 

[Valdfellgar]

Hm, I'm still not satisfied with it. Glad you guys seem to think it's alright, though. I picked up A Song of Ice and Fire and a Warcraft novel - one highly regarded and not so highly regarded, haha.

My tag is from a thread about spoilers. I said that when I used to be a teacher I would write students up for spoiling movies, books, or games, because I think it's a crime. Approximately a minute later I had this tag.

After having some time to think it over, one option is to mix the description and dialogue together. Right now it's kind of front loaded with description and then dialogue. It'll probably feel more natural if you weave the two together.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

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[NintendosBooger]

Got my first rejection from an agent.

Serves me right for sending a query to someone whose favorite book is Kushiel's Dart.

 

[Conkersbadfurday]

WRITER'S BLOCK D:

So I was rockin' and rollin' for seven chapters. Hammered out 60+ pages pretty quickly, and all fun and games. Except now.

I guess the setup is John's friend (not best but a good friend) stole a secret military weapon and killed a bunch of people with it. He's torn becuase 1) he thinks it's his fault this happened (it kind of was) and 2) he doesn't want his friend to get hurt despite the crimes. He wants to break orders and go save said friend.

Or maybe? Like, I'm having problems working with kind of emotional delima. This book wasn't supposed to ever get smart or deep :[ i've started the chapter a handful of ways, and now I'm maybe thinking he should be in prison or something and his squad mates break him out because they want to know what's up, though I'm not sure I entirely like THAT

The weapon is super dangerous and should be retrieved at all costs. So there's also that.

Hoping sleeping on it helps, but I already kind of did that. Got nothing done today. Fucking headache didn't help either.

Oh, all my characters are talking toys.

 

[FlowersisBritish]

Maybe hearing a similar story will help? Let me tell you the story of famous manga Akira, a very complicated story about the cultural impacts of a post nuclear Japan, because it has a very similar set up with two of its characters. I will now completely butcher their story.

Tetsuo gets psychic powers in part because of his friend Kaneda being a shit, and Tets decides to use those powers to take out a rival bike gang, and also start his own. Relatively small scale stuff. Kaneda shows up to talk sense into him, but it doesn't work cause Tets is really really really high off power. So Kan decides to just beat up his friend. Antics ensue, government grabs Tets, and the kid wakes up in a government building so they can do experiments on him. There he learns of Akira, and decides to use it to become more powerful. For other reasons, Kaneda buts heads with him again, and the two fight as the only way to really take down Tets is with a massive orbital laser. They hit him, he loses an arm, but whateves just a flesh wound. Antics, Tokyo is destroyed, and Kaneda is caught up in another dimension or something. I dunno, it's been a while. Now here is where it gets neat, it flips around and becomes about Tets as he gets stronger and eventually his struggle to balance being human and his ever growing god like psychic powers. Government like "got to take care of him" then antics and Tets turns into some weird flesh monster. Then Kaneda busts back through wherever he was, and looks Tets soulfully in the eye and the two shout each other name in the most intense "lets go motherfucker!" shout I ever seen. What's cool about this is that Kaneda has no powers, and Tets is bordering on a literal God in an abstract way a lot of people wouldn't expect. But Kaneda has a big gun, and Tets still has to work through his inferiority complex regarding his former friend, so his powers are kind of wonky when he sees him. A pretty cool fight ensues and i don't remember the rest. Been a really long time since I read.

 

[Conkersbadfurday]

Maybe hearing a similar story will help? Let me tell you the story of famous manga Akira, a very complicated story about the cultural impacts of a post nuclear Japan, because it has a very similar set up with two of its characters. I will now completely butcher their story.

Tetsuo gets psychic powers in part because of his friend Kaneda being a shit, and Tets decides to use those powers to take out a rival bike gang, and also start his own. Relatively small scale stuff. Kaneda shows up to talk sense into him, but it doesn't work cause Tets is really really really high off power. So Kan decides to just beat up his friend. Antics ensue, government grabs Tets, and the kid wakes up in a government building so they can do experiments on him. There he learns of Akira, and decides to use it to become more powerful. For other reasons, Kaneda buts heads with him again, and the two fight as the only way to really take down Tets is with a massive orbital laser. They hit him, he loses an arm, but whateves just a flesh wound. Antics, Tokyo is destroyed, and Kaneda is caught up in another dimension or something. I dunno, it's been a while. Now here is where it gets neat, it flips around and becomes about Tets as he gets stronger and eventually his struggle to balance being human and his ever growing god like psychic powers. Government like "got to take care of him" then antics and Tets turns into some weird flesh monster. Then Kaneda busts back through wherever he was, and looks Tets soulfully in the eye and the two shout each other name in the most intense "lets go motherfucker!" shout I ever seen. What's cool about this is that Kaneda has no powers, and Tets is bordering on a literal God in an abstract way a lot of people wouldn't expect. But Kaneda has a big gun, and Tets still has to work through his inferiority complex regarding his former friend, so his powers are kind of wonky when he sees him. A pretty cool fight ensues and i don't remember the rest. Been a really long time since I read.

Man, it's been well over a decade since I've seen the movie, but I do think this helps. I'll be sleepin' on some ideas now and hopefully when I get home, I can fix this fucker and then keep going. Afraid if I stall for too long it won't get finished.

Legit appreciate the help man

 

[zulux21]

anyone know a good way to describe songs in writing.

from my personal notes.

I am not sure how to describe this, but I am figuring the song sounds something like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEFxfVyz4Uc as I generally have Carite as a deeper cocky sounding voice and could do the deeper vocals. I don’t need to make the song, but I figure it can be inspired by this song. The guitar can be done by an acoustic for the most part which would exist in the time. Drums should be available as well, xylophone could cover some stuff. Piano should be around as well. A cello could be used for the bass guitar. I also need to take into account reactions from people that likely haven’t heard much of music like this, but with leakage from our world it’s possible there is some music like that around.

and I haven't a clue how to translate that into actual writing. It honestly sounds easier to just write the song from scratch and perform it >.<; (I will likely just skim over it for now, but it's actually a semi important scene for my main villain of book 1 as it shows off his other side. though I could do it in other ways too)


also is there any good guidelines for fair use?
For example could I reference a rubik's cube, or a playstation 4 or lady gaga?
or is basically only stuff from 1923 or before safe?

edit: I managed to force something out... a whole 500 words... here's hoping the next bit goes smoothly as I have been thinking about the end of this chapter and next chapter quite a bit so words should just vomit out now that i have passed that scene.

 

[Burbank_]

I just finished an 8000 word story (my first) that I feel positive about ^ _ ^

Now I gotta edit, and then somehow get it out. Gonna read up on this thread.

I'm a bit worried about the editing since English isn't my native tongue : /

 

[aidan]

I just finished an 8000 word story (my first) that I feel positive about ^ _ ^

Now I gotta edit, and then somehow get it out. Gonna read up on this thread.

I'm a bit worried about the editing since English isn't my native tongue : /

Congrats!

My only advice for editing is to make an effort (if it works for the story) to get it under 7,500 words, which is a common cut-off for short fiction markets (at least within the science fiction and fantasy world). Anything about 7,500 words is considered a novelette and there are fewer markets that accept them.

 

[Conkersbadfurday]

also is there any good guidelines for fair use?
For example could I reference a rubik's cube, or a playstation 4 or lady gaga?
or is basically only stuff from 1923 or before safe?

I don't see why the hell not. But I also don't know.

I hope it's not a problem. I got characters drinking Coke and Monster Energy in my last book D: One watches COMEDY CENTRAL for a bit too.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

Cultural objects are all safe as per world-building merits and because use of language obviously cannot be copyrighted. Movies and other kind of depiction is not, but mentioning something is non-issue. Otherwise making the news would suddenly be expensive, and not one of the cheapest things to produce.

 

[zulux21]

Cultural objects are all safe as per world-building merits and because use of language obviously cannot be copyrighted. Movies and other kind of depiction is not, but mentioning something is non-issue. Otherwise making the news would suddenly be expensive, and not one of the cheapest things to produce.

ah... I wasn't sure on the rules since I know in anime/manga they often change names of things.

I just knew enough that I could use basically any character or storyline from 1923 (I think that is the year) or earlier as all of the protection for that work is expired

not that I have any plans to use any of that. but it doesn't hurt to know I can especially since my setting could allow stuff from 1800-1923 to be stuff just coming out in my story, but again... don't see much reason to use any of it since my story is a fantasy story lol.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

Fantasy or not as a genre, if your setting takes place through the real world, the reality effect of mentioning real-world objects is both 'texture' as well as signaling to readers that a transition to the real world has occurred.
For instance, American Psycho and Less Than Zero both have references to arcades and games that existed at that particular time (which is kind of weird in LTZ too, since you have little reason to assume it takes place in the 80s. That existential hollow has unfortunately not passed since then). Similarly, the first page of 'A Clash of Kings' typed out above mentions the gargoyles and what not, but could just as easily be rewritten by a guy looking at a bunch of neon-lit signs in Vegas or something. Whatever is necessary as selection, needs to be included in the writing.

The very obnoxious way to use it is obviously Ready Player One, which I assume upon reading it will give me the inexplicable desire to strangle its writer. EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN REFERENCE, AAAARGH. * ahum* Having read just a sample page of Armada, by the same writer, I'm going to avoid reading either.

 

[zulux21]

Fantasy or not as a genre, if your setting takes place through the real world, the reality effect of mentioning real-world objects is both 'texture' as well as signaling to readers that a transition to the real world has occurred.
For instance, American Psycho and Less Than Zero both have references to arcades and games that existed at that particular time (which is kind of weird in LTZ too, since you have little reason to assume it takes place in the 80s. That existential hollow has unfortunately not passed since then). Similarly, the first page of 'A Clash of Kings' typed out above mentions the gargoyles and what not, but could just as easily be rewritten by a guy looking at a bunch of neon-lit signs in Vegas or something. Whatever is necessary as selection, needs to be included in the writing.

The very obnoxious way to use it is obviously Ready Player One, which I assume upon reading it will give me the inexplicable desire to strangle its writer. EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN REFERENCE, AAAARGH. * ahum* Having read just a sample page of Armada, by the same writer, I'm going to avoid reading either.

I suppose I might touch on some stuff, but I will likely just stick to my original plan of hinting towards a reference but not clearly stating it by the same name as things are different enough between the earth in my story and our actual earth that a direct reference might not work well (though my main character is from the real world, so he could likely make some references)_, but something like the oh... The lord of the Artifacts might exist instead of the lord of the rings.

it's something for me to keep in mind in general though I guess, as previously I was just avoiding those thoughts in general due to fear that I would accidentally write something that would need massive changes later.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

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[Conkersbadfurday]

WRITERS BLOCK BEGONE! Between the advice given here, some encouragement/help from a friend, and more Jim Beam than I should consume on a Thursday, chapter 8 is done. I think I wrote like 1600 words today.

It's a bit sloppy yet, but as far as plot and character go, it works.

Plus, this book is shit anyways so I should stop giving this much of a fuck

The very obnoxious way to use it is obviously Ready Player One, which I assume upon reading it will give me the inexplicable desire to strangle its writer. EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN REFERENCE, AAAARGH. * ahum* Having read just a sample page of Armada, by the same writer, I'm going to avoid reading either.

Just hearing the name Armada is giving me Vietnam flashbacks of hatred. That book is pure fucking shit.

 

[Vincent Alexander]

I had an idea for a novel in 8th grade that sat on a shelf in a notebook. In college I turned it into a screenplay, and now 6 years later and 40+ full revisions later I have decided I'm done with it. But not done in that I can put it away happy....I think I've finally convinced myself that because I live in Illinois and have no hope of ever getting out to LA that my chances are 0. I'm just curious if anyone thinks I'm dumb for taking this thing I've spent so much on and giving up. My game plan is to go back to what I used to do before this thing consumed my life. Trying to write a novel. I would take this idea that started as a novel, went into a screenplay, and write it how I originally intended. Just trying to grapple with the feeling of how much time I've wasted. It isn't a good feeling. At all.

 

[Ashes]

Wasted? I wouldn't think of it like that. Unless, all you can think of is the glory.

Writing is an adventure in of its self sometimes. And if it's a hard fought grand old adventure, who can say it wasn't worth stepping out the door for.

 

[FlowersisBritish]

WRITERS BLOCK BEGONE! Between the advice given here, some encouragement/help from a friend, and more Jim Beam than I should consume on a Thursday, chapter 8 is done. I think I wrote like 1600 words today.

It's a bit sloppy yet, but as far as plot and character go, it works.

Plus, this book is shit anyways so I should stop giving this much of a fuck

Oh good to hear. Your writers block infected me and now I'm working through it. I don't know what other people do, but I tend to just write really short scenes/stories until I am back in a grove. Some of them are coming out all right actually.

 

[zulux21]

Oh good to hear. Your writers block infected me and now I'm working through it. I don't know what other people do, but I tend to just write really short scenes/stories until I am back in a grove. Some of them are coming out all right actually.

the way I draft a story in my head a lot of my stuff isn't chronological, so if I get stuck somewhere I often just force my way through it and go back to it later to get to other stuff I have done in my head.

this last one was just bad because it's a scene I already did that with and I really needed to get it done as it seems really silly to have the rough draft of book 2 complete while book 1 has partial chapters at the end

 

[The Emperor]

I had an idea for a novel in 8th grade that sat on a shelf in a notebook. In college I turned it into a screenplay, and now 6 years later and 40+ full revisions later I have decided I'm done with it. But not done in that I can put it away happy....I think I've finally convinced myself that because I live in Illinois and have no hope of ever getting out to LA that my chances are 0. I'm just curious if anyone thinks I'm dumb for taking this thing I've spent so much on and giving up. My game plan is to go back to what I used to do before this thing consumed my life. Trying to write a novel. I would take this idea that started as a novel, went into a screenplay, and write it how I originally intended. Just trying to grapple with the feeling of how much time I've wasted. It isn't a good feeling. At all.

As annoying as it may feel in terms of wasting time I feel like we never truly waste anything. You must have gained a lot from that experience, the story probably gained loads too and just who knows what comes your way in the future. All of life is a bit like a butterfly effect, sure we can learn from mistakes and the past, but I think regret and feeling like it was a waste is most of the time not true. Best of luck with the project!!

------

I've joined a team as a scenario writer for a rpg maker game! Using this to just flex my writing muscle! I think I'm someone who needs to really build confidence in my ability to 'finish' stories. To see stuff through.

 

[timetokill]

Wow sounds like you're upset, upset like the way someone would be if an X-wing fighter from the hit film Star Wars shot down their brand-new Death Star also from the hit film Star Wars. Sounds like much like Ferris Bueller you need to take a day off and then teach a computer how to play tic-tac-toe (the latter is a reference to the hit film War Games in which Matthew Broderick, the actor who also plays Ferris Bueller in the hit film Ferris Bueller's Day Off, plays a kid who nearly sets off thermonuclear war and only averts it by teaching the computer that there is no winning move in tic-tac-toe just like thermonuclear war pretty clever right?).

CONGRATULATIONS I think you win the million gajillion megabucks

The virtual galaxy is at peace...

 

[Valdfellgar]

God I love it when you have a writing session that just flows, everything feels like gold as it hits the page and if not perfect, a damn sight better than what you've been putting out before. The past few days I felt whatever I was putting on the page was either utter crap or desperately in need of a major overhaul once I've completed the first draft. But today, god I was on fire. Felt really nice after the frustration of the past few days.

Hope other people are finding that writing has felt a bit better for them of late!

 

[Burbank_]

Congrats!

My only advice for editing is to make an effort (if it works for the story) to get it under 7,500 words, which is a common cut-off for short fiction markets (at least within the science fiction and fantasy world). Anything about 7,500 words is considered a novelette and there are fewer markets that accept them.

Thank you : ) The editing is going ok actually. I feel its making the story tighter and bringing it closer to how the scenes flow in my mind. I'm mainly correcting small mistakes and playing around with verb tempus.

That is a good point about the word limit (its a sci-fi story), but cutting that much will be tough, I'll have to cut an entire finished section.

 

[aidan]

Thank you : ) The editing is going ok actually. I feel its making the story tighter and bringing it closer to how the scenes flow in my mind. I'm mainly correcting small mistakes and playing around with verb tempus.

That is a good point about the word limit (its a sci-fi story), but cutting that much will be tough, I'll have to cut an entire finished section.

Sounds like it's going well!

You'll be surprised how much you can trim from a story just by tightening up sentences, removing redundancies, and generally cutting fat from the story. I usually aim for my final draft to be 10% shorter than the first draft.

 

[NintendosBooger]

I'm getting more and more disenchanted by agents. It seems the ones I've contacted don't know what they want. I follow their tweets and blogs, they're all over the place. Every other day it's something different, and most aren't very specific as to what they're looking for, only throwing out genres and themes. (e.g., "Hi guys! I'm in the mood for DARK FANTASY! Send me your subs! xoxo")

I'm thinking about going the self-publishing route.

 

[Conkersbadfurday]

I'm getting more and more disenchanted by agents. It seems the ones I've contacted don't know what they want. I follow their tweets and blogs, they're all over the place. Every other day it's something different, and most aren't very specific as to what they're looking for, only throwing out genres and themes. (e.g., "Hi guys! I'm in the mood for DARK FANTASY! Send me your subs! xoxo")

I'm thinking about going the self-publishing route.

Hey, at least that's a genre. The ones who go, "I'm looking for a story that moves me and makes me think" are the worst. Like, ideally that's EVERY STORY EVER THAT ISN'T SHIT

And then it's "Sorry, not interested in fantasy" in the rejection letters. Bitch, fucking say that up front so you don't waste my cunting time >:[

 

[aidan]

Bitch, fucking say that up front so you don't waste my cunting time >:[

C'mom, man. This is supposed to be a positive, welcoming environment.

And, besides, if you're saying stuff like that about agents rejecting you, you're not doing yourself any favours.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

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[Conkersbadfurday]

C'mom, man. This is supposed to be a positive, welcoming environment.

And, besides, if you're saying stuff like that about agents rejecting you, you're not doing yourself any favours.

It's frustrating to browse an agency with like ten agents--all of whom have bios on separate pages that you have to click on and none open in new windows because URLs are hard--and none of them are specific in what they want. I'm not a mind reader, and I don't like gambling. If you're predisposed to hate a genre, saying that up front saves everyone time.

But most agent websites are crap, vague, and all around not fun to be on. Finding an agent is an impossible nightmare, and it makes me bitter.

But hey, I got two looking at my book right now so finger's crossed.

Edit: And obviously I don't you know, say anything in response. I delete the rejection and move on. I'm solid 100% professional in my emails.

 

[AngmarsKing701]

I got tired, oh, 20 years or so ago, of rejection letters. And the writing sort of trailed off too, what with raising two kids. And then Amazon swept in with their digital books and their self publishing made simple and their 70% royalties and suddenly I didn't have to deal with all that ... stuff.

There was once a point in my life where I thought all I would do was write and make a gajillion dollars doing it. But I was 16 and naive.

Now I've self published a book, and people I've never met have read it and enjoyed it (based on the few ratings I have seen on Amazon). And that fulfills me far more than my 16 year old self would have thought.

In short, I've satisfied a dream I once had.

I'm certainly not saying that traditional publishing with agents and whatnot is a bad route to take. But there are brilliant works of art sitting in slush piles at every publishing house in the world.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

An uplifting article for those who get rejected.

There's this one part of my novel I basically glossed/skipped over the first time around. Now I'm on draft three, and I STILL don't want to write it - I skipped ahead to get to the more exciting stuff, I put it off on draft two, and now it vexes me once again.

 

[Conkersbadfurday]

An uplifting article for those who get rejected.

There's this one part of my novel I basically glossed/skipped over the first time around. Now I'm on draft three, and I STILL don't want to write it - I skipped ahead to get to the more exciting stuff, I put it off on draft two, and now it vexes me once again.

If you feel that way about that part, maybe you should just cut it? Is that feasible? How big is it?

Or is it just one of those "fuck this bit is hard to edit" because I've been there too

 

[SolVanderlyn]

If you feel that way about that part, maybe you should just cut it? Is that feasible? How big is it?

Or is it just one of those "fuck this bit is hard to edit" because I've been there too

It's the second part. Basically, the characters stay at someone's house for the night. I WANT to make it into a scene where it develops said person (said person is usually a very strong character who is forced by circumstance to spend a night at her mom's house, who treats her like a child - along with everyone who respects her) but I just... don't... want to write new material. I want to edit what I have. But there's this glaring hole where the chapter starts by saying "Welp, we stayed there" and continues along its merry way. I don't like that one bit.

 

[Woorloog]

I have no idea how to treat family ties and such.

I'm thinking about a character and i wonder, what kind of relationship does she have with her family? My first instinct is to sweep the thing under a rug and not comment on that all. But that's not realistic... is it? I mean, in fiction, we often see badass super-action guys and girls who only focus on their duty but that kind of type isn't terribly realistic, or at least not common. Yes, it can be argued that most written characters are somehow extraordinary or unusual and so are not really subject to limitations of common people but i figure giving characters some basic.... i don't know, maybe life? makes them feel more realistic and better.

The character i'm thinking right now would be more or less an agent with psionic powers working for military special forces working on long assignments across the solar system (scifi, if it isn't clear), so family ties would be problematic probably. I could say "her parents died long ago" or some shit like that but that feels like a cop out. And not interested in the "trained as a super soldier from childhood"-trope (doesn't fit the world).
Probably should find a book about real world special forces, maybe a biography or something like that? For this case.

OK, this woman is something of an extreme example, but even for more normal characters, i have difficulties imagining family ties.

And, well, other kind of relationships too. This is probably since i'm asexual and aromantic, makes thinking about this stuff kinda difficult as i don't give a shit about it myself IRL. (Ironically, i am a fan of love stories and romance in fiction, interesting stuff to read about. But... i can't say i really understand.)


And this post is partially about working through this problem in my mind. I write this down, read it, wonder what i'd answer (like that comment about a biography), think about it. Seems to help a bit.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

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[Woorloog]

Hmm.
OK, yeah, it might not be relevant for the story but certainly relevant for me. Gotta figure what motivates a character, what they think about and why, etc etc. And everything affects everything.
I need to figure an overview of a character, not all details but various major points and follow the implications. Stuff might not appear in the story but certainly affect building it.

It just... i draw a blank when i think about stuff like family ties, or other social stuff. Though perhaps some stuff will rise naturally from the story's demands, as i come up with more characters etc. "Need a motivation for this... oh, if they're related, this makes sense", or something like that?

It is not like i need a complete character before writing other stuff, just some outline.


As i said, this sort of wondering helps working through a problem. Kind of like rubber-duck debugging (that means a coder reads their code aloud to a [imaginary] rubber duck and works out that way if the code makes sense or works).


...
And now i remembered i need to do some research on chemistry, need to know if a certain kind of stuff can exists and how it might be formed if it does exists...

 

[FlowersisBritish]

Man, when you are in the mood for editing, there is nothing more fun in this world than breaking open and story and fucking around with it.

 

[Conkersbadfurday]

Man, when you are in the mood for editing, there is nothing more fun in this world than breaking open and story and fucking around with it.

Ha. i was gonna make the joke expressing my disbelief that people get into such moods; however, my current book is making me feel...insecure in my writing abilities. Story is fun but it's goddamned a first draft through and through. Part of me wants to stop and edit now so I feel less shame, but I think that'll kill my momentum.

So onwards to more shitty words.

 

[Ashes]

Man, when you are in the mood for editing, there is nothing more fun in this world than breaking open and story and fucking around with it.

I'm in that phase where I'm removed from the emotions of the story as it would play out in a fresh reader's mind in real time.

Hopefully, the story will be as enjoyable to read as I first hoped.

 

[Burbank_]

Sounds like it's going well!

You'll be surprised how much you can trim from a story just by tightening up sentences, removing redundancies, and generally cutting fat from the story. I usually aim for my final draft to be 10% shorter than the first draft.

I'm almost finished with the first round of editing, I'll probably be done by the weekend. I'm down to 7800 words now. One effect the trimming has is to increase the tempo/intensity of the text a little bit, for better or worse. I feel one potential issue is leaving enough breathing room between important events.

Would you be willing to give it a read? If anything comes to mind, maybe you could input on some sections to cut/trim : )

Editing so far has just been on the writing, advice on whether to cut some actual content would be really great.

 

[Kalentan]

so how do you know when a dialogue scene has gone on for too long? Like mine is 690 words thus far (mostly dialogue but also other stuff in it), but when reading it, it doesn't come across as a very long conversation? And it's not one I could really shorten without removing information that is kind of needed at the moment.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

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[Timu]

I should start a YouTube channel or something.

Yeah, you should!

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

.

 

[FlowersisBritish]

I never know how to read people's responses. Is that In a 'might be interesting' way or the 'you talk too much in this here thread' way?

Eh, the trick to most audio things is having an interesting voice. You clearly have a lot of interesting stuff to say(compliment-I enjoy your long responses, they always inspire a decent amount of thought for me), so you have some content to talk about. So really, it comes down to two things; do you have the voice for it, and what thing do you put on the screen?

Side note: I have a pretty interesting voice(or so I've been told.. a bunch) and thought about doing a youtube review thing, but there are too many of those. Also thought about doing a narrative podcast ala Night Vale, but too much work to write funny and consistently every two weeks.

 

[Ashes]

You guys should do a podcast. First episode: wtf is an paragraph?

I'd listen. Not a lot of stuff out there about paragraphs.

 

[Delio]

Finally settled on how my retool of Seasonals will go. Getting rid of the costume idea sadly. Realized it was not really important other than me liking that kind of stuff.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

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