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[mansoor1980]

If there was a bad smell I always discovered on closer inspection it was coming from their anuses. I’ve never been with a girl whose actual reproductive organs had a smell I didn’t like.

well i backed away from her , she came to visit me again the next day and said she took a shower this time , i just knew she was hiding something. , like an STD or some shit.

 

[wondermega]

I was once with a crazy girl who was obsessed with motorboating my nuts. The problem was, I really wasn't into it at all. Didn't do anything for me.

The breaking point came when I was in the shower one day. She came in while I was washing. Didn't say a fucking word. Starting motorboating my nuts for a few seconds and then walked out again. It was like she was a fucking junkie who needed to get her fix.

I knew then that I needed to get out of this relationship. It started off as strange and ended up with me worrying for my safety. I was really concerned the next level was chewing my balls off.

Motorboating? What is this exactly, like rapid-fire sucking the whole damn sac?

 

[IDKFA]

Motorboating? What is this exactly, like rapid-fire sucking the whole damn sac?

From Urban Dictionary:

It means the activity of putting one's face between a woman's breasts, and rocking turning one's head rapidly from side to side while making a noise like a motorboat.

Now replace 'woman's breasts' with 'man's nuts' and you get the idea.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Vince Vaughn introduced me to the motorboat.

 

[GymWolf]

I was referring more to getting the girl in different spots since our legs can bend easier when we're at a healthy weight. At some point, muscles on a man might be too big though if a guy has an "athletic" tone, then leaning on a rock hard upper body while riding might be the best thing on the planet. Trust me, if you're toned then you won't get complaints for being less nimble.

Yeah i was just fucking with you (figuratively speaking)

 

[GymWolf]

There are a lot of things you don’t under say and as well, for example that for women if they want to lose weight they go on diet and that’s it. They don’t need gym, this comes into play if your diet is shit so you kinda balances.

Now if a guy wants to get muscles gym/weights are obligatory.

Yeah maybe, but many women have shitty genetic and some time at the gym would lift up some muscles (and even gym can't do miracle if you have genetically flat ass etc.), only losing weight can be counter-productive if you don't put something underneath.

The super models you see in tv all do training or at least pilates, not only diet, very few have those incredible bodies just with diet.

Almost all the fit girls i know go to the gym or do some kind of training, even if they train very bad, it is still better than nothing, they still tone up a bit.

 

[GymWolf]

The woes of having an extra long dick. I share your pain bro.

Feeling luckier and luckier to be just slightly above average...

 

[IDKFA]

Vince Vaughn introduced me to the motorboat.

Following my past experience, that gif gives me PTSD.

 

[IntentionalPun]

The woes of having an extra long dick. I share your pain bro.

The smell hits you and you think you just caused a giant dump to come out but it'll be this tiny spec of shit that you could weaponize the smell of.

Smells like shit concentrate.

 

[Lady Jane]

I will admit that to reach accepted beauty standards, men have to hit the weights where women just have to diet.

A girl who's petite can rule a small town or smaller city with just a sundress and long hair. Though in a big city, the competition is ruthless. When a girl that can rock out fitted jeans or smash a top with a small waist and nice pair, you're pushed aside no matter how cute your dress is or if your hair is perfect. Fit wise, if you're not bringing something to the table, a lot is going to be out of your control.

If you're already petite then you're so close on hitting that extra level of priority that it's silly to not put in the effort. It's literally months away of dedicated gym time and you go from good sex you think about for a night to orgasmic sex you think about for a week.

As for men, having a toned body will get you started with a good date where having defined abs will get you in their bed that night. Every girl I know (even the nice ones) have gave in for those men at least once.

 

[WhatDidHeSay?]

I have a mate who once wanked off into his granny's handbag in a moment of madness.

 

[wondermega]

From Urban Dictionary:

It means the activity of putting one's face between a woman's breasts, and rocking turning one's head rapidly from side to side while making a noise like a motorboat.

Now replace 'woman's breasts' with 'man's nuts' and you get the idea.

dude, ouch!

 

[fran.fernandez]

I told this on Reddit and got terrible downvoted…


Met this Japanese girl, my type. Nice body, face, hair, young (25), eyes..

Took her to the hotel, she start smoking like crazy (I dont like smoke)

Then she get naked, some small and big tattoos, not my cup of tea .

Still super ready to bang bang, but then I saw her arms full of cuts. No more space for cuts, the skin was awful and some cuts still recent.

I realize she have plenty of dates tattooed on her body, idk why but I ask if those dates were dates when someone die. She said yes, all her abortions or babies.

The worst… she had inverted nipples? instead of nipples she had belly buttons. I couldn’t stop thinking about those holes 🕳. Pretty sire my finger would get stuck there … “sorry sorry, sumimasenn”

We took shower, also very strange, she sit on the floor and washed her hair …

Finally I said , “im starving lets go eat pizza”

Put my clothes and leave the hotel, outside the hotel I just said i had to go home and leave.

well I didn’t had sexxxx. Didn’t feel the need .

Btw i met her again just to check if she was ok, she used to work at kyabakura (drinking place with girls) some of those place have the staff always naked, from that place she got pregnant many times.

All my others ons were pretty normal (if u count “maguro woman” as normal)

 

[AlteredForms]

as long as a girl has toned legs

Maybe I'm peculiar, but this is my vice when it comes to a woman. Some men like boobs, others booties, but for me it's a pair of supple toned legs that I can caress.

The worst… she had inverted nipples? instead of nipples she had belly buttons. I couldn’t stop thinking about those holes 🕳. Pretty sire my finger would get stuck there … “sorry sorry, sumimasenn”

 

[Lady Jane]

Maybe I'm peculiar, but this is my vice when it comes to a woman. Some men like boobs, others booties, but for me it's a pair of supple toned legs that I can caress.

I have B-cups and in my experience, even boob men are weak for a toned lower body, despite their preference claims. And ass men usually mean they prefer toned lower bodies but they don't covey it right. A toned ass and thighs go hand-in-hand.

 

[Werewolf Jones]

One time I was getting dome and didn't realize my penis got scraped by a tooth and when I pulled out and lay on the bed there was blood EVERYWHERE and I thought I was getting lowkey assassinated.

 

[nush]

I've only had a problem getting an erection when the woman was disgusting.

When even your little head is telling you you're too drunk or thirsty....

 

[AlteredForms]

I have B-cups and in my experience, even boob men are weak for a toned lower body, despite their preference claims. And ass men usually mean they prefer toned lower bodies but they don't covey it right. A toned ass and thighs go hand-in-hand.

You're awfully forthcoming about your own body and women's physiques in general lol. I'm not judging of course as I'm attracted to natural women. Body modification puts me right off.

 

[MikeM]

You're awfully forthcoming about your own body and women's physiques in general lol. I'm not judging of course as I'm attracted to natural women. Body modification puts me right off.

Toned legs are considered modifications? Or am I missing something here?

 

[AlteredForms]

Toned legs are considered modifications? Or am I missing something here?

No, I was talking about breast augmentations, botox and liposuction. Shit is absolutely atrocious, keep it natural baby.

 

[MikeM]

No, I was talking about breast augmentations, botox and liposuction. Shit is absolutely atrocious, keep it natural baby.

Agree 100%

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

This is the point. Let the fellas brag a bit but realize most of this never happened.

Mine is actual true story bruh

 

[nush]

This is the point. Let the fellas brag a bit but realize most of this never happened.

It's safe to assume by the average age of the members here that we have grown out of the "I'm not a virgin, I had sex with a girl from another school. You don't know her" level of bullshitting on the internet. These stories might sometimes sound unlikely until they happen to you.

 

[Flash Junkins]

It's safe to assume by the average age of the members here that we have grown out of the "I'm not a virgin, I had sex with a girl from another school. You don't know her" level of bullshitting on the internet. These stories might sometimes sound unlikely until they happen to you.

Nah. You're wrong.

 

[nush]

Nah. You're wrong.

I'm sorry you've only had uneventful sex with your wife.

 

[Halo is Back]

Here's a couple

2) First time I fooled around with a girl, it turns out she was in a relationship. She immediately told her boyfriend, and I had to deal with that. That was fun. The trama (and trust issues I got from that experience caused me to not really look for any sort of relationship for 10 years)

3)First time I tried hooking up with my wife, I couldn't get hard. I was too nervous about the environment and all sorts of things. I couldn't get hard. My wife gave me this hateful look. For some reason she kept going out with me, but sex stopped being a priority real quick due to repeated issues. Last time we had sex was about a month before our marriage. It's been over 3 years since then. My wife says she doesn't see the point since she knows I'll just fail to satisfy her.

I've never had what I would call a positive sexual experience. I want to correct that, but I just don't think it's possible at this point. I'm kind of asexual these days.

Might help to go see a sex therapist, worth a try imo.

 

[Peggies]

A girl who's petite can rule a small town or smaller city with just a sundress and long hair.

"One sundress to rule them all"
Most blunt thing I've ever heard lol.

 

[GymWolf]

Ok inverted nipples are a bit too much, childrens read this topic aswell, behave you guys.

 

[chromhound]

"One sundress to rule them all"
Most blunt thing I've ever heard lol.

Sundress no panties season is upon us

 

[saturnalian]

Edit, wrong quote

 

[GymWolf]

I won't say worst but definitely funniest and it happened with my current girlfriend.

In the first few months we boinked so much that we did it in her mums car parked on the side of the road in a residential area. Granted this took place late at night but it was still a risk. Mum didn't suspect anything going to work the next day although I didn't check if there was a dashcam installed or else we'd be in some shit . Nowadays we just laugh at these crazy things we did

That's why I love a Honda Fit. Small on the outside but big on the inside. Ain't nobody going to suspect you're going to have yourself a screw party in the back of a car like this.

And now we own a 2009 Honda Fit, in black

What the hell are you talking about? Here where i live people fuck inside a fucking fiat 500-600 that is like less than half the size of your car...

I get that american are almost all obese, but you can do an orgy in your car lmao...

 

[saturnalian]

Edit, wrong quote

 

[jshackles]

Ok inverted nipples are a bit too much

I've been with a few chicks that had inverted nipples. Really strange but I was like

 

[ThatStupidLion]

during one of the first weeks dating this girl we had sex and blacked out. When we woke up in the morning we discovered that I took a massive dump on her floor.

now we're married.

 

[John Marston]

during one of the first weeks dating this girl we had sex and blacked out. When we woke up in the morning we discovered that I took a massive dump on her floor.

now we're married.

That's LOVE BABY!

But did YOU take that massive dump really? You blacked out.
And so did your wife.

You need to CSI Columbo this shit.

 

[K' Dash]

I don’t know if this one counts, but the worst feeling ever was a few years ago I just broke up with my GF and this girl I worked for confessed she had a crush on me for while, so that night she invited me to her apartment.

We were watching TV, having wine and then started kissing, then things got hot, we moved to her room, grabbed a condom.

Beat in mind that it had been like 3 weeks since I had sex. It was actually an amazing time and I felt like I released like a gallon of love juice, I pull out and see the condom completely broken.

Words can not describe the fear and anxiety I got, I felt sick. I asked her if she was on the pill and she told me she quit like a couple of weeks ago, then came the most excruciating month of my life.

In the end, she didn’t get pregnant, but I aged like 10 years on a single month.

 

[Grildon Tundy]

I don’t know if this one counts, but the worst feeling ever was a few years ago I just broke up with my GF and this girl I worked for confessed she had a crush on me for while, so that night she invited me to her apartment.

We were watching TV, having wine and then started kissing, then things got hot, we moved to her room, grabbed a condom.

Beat in mind that it had been like 3 weeks since I had sex. It was actually an amazing time and I felt like I released like a gallon of love juice, I pull out and see the condom completely broken.

Words can not describe the fear and anxiety I got, I felt sick. I asked her if she was on the pill and she told me she quit like a couple of weeks ago, then came the most excruciating month of my life.

In the end, she didn’t get pregnant, but I aged like 10 years on a single month.

Plan B pill was made for situations like this. Was a lifesaver a couple times for me.

 

[Lady Jane]

Plan B pill was made for situations like this. Was a lifesaver a couple times for me.

She probably took one and didn't tell him. It's not something that women like to admit doing.

 

[K' Dash]

Plan B pill was made for situations like this. Was a lifesaver a couple times for me.

I'm not from US, hey didn't sell the pill at the time here.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

That's LOVE BABY!

But did YOU take that massive dump really? You blacked out.
And so did your wife.

You need to CSI Columbo this shit.

i had dingle berries...

 

[John Marston]

Between 2012 and 2015 I had a really cool relationship with a stupendous escort named Alison, oops I mean Isabelle.

Nothing pervy to talk about as this was a GFE thing. Good company, nice conversation with a glass of wine, ooolala and goodbye. No anal and ruined mascara.

She was a curvy brunette with a voluptuous shape, attitude plenty and smoking weed like breathing. Her hair was like an ocean (*Bill Burr*).

We once banged in the shower for 35 minutes and if not for the perfect balance of weed and booze I would have seen spots and died.

She also had a client who paid her 1000$ while she wore his dead mother's clothing and peelled carrots while he masturbated. He never touched her. 1000$

We had as I called it "transactional love" and within the first year she would stay the night and I would make her lunches and kiss her goodbye before she left for work.

But we are all human and the lines got eventually blurred.

She would lie next to me after her shift initiating sex and I would just want to spoon and sleep. "Come on you did this shit all day let's just sleep"
Her: "It's not the same you don't get it."

She would refuse 500$ for the night because in her words "I wasn't good tonight."

The John who doesn't wanna fuck & the whore who refuses money.

We laughed about this.

She liked to steal the controller from me to ride Roach when I was playing Witcher 3 and what the hell I was in a relationship!
The reason why I reached out to her in the 1st place was to avoïd that and there I was...

I wrote a shit review on an online escort site where she was featured saying she puked on me to sabotage everything and it worked.
I hope she's doing well.

 

[nush]

She liked to steal the controller from me to ride Roach when I was playing Witcher 3 and what the hell I was in a relationship!
The reason why I reached out to her in the 1st place was to avoïd that and there I was...

Over a long enough timeline one of them will get ya. Honestly, if she wasn't looking for a mark she's thinking the same thing.

 

[FUBARx89]

Went Middlesborough, courtesy off a rather attractive suicide girl model, I was still pretty young/not overly experienced at the time, she suggested I have her legs on my shoulders, so there I am going at it, but I'm literally hitting my head on the wall at the same time, but was too polite to say, I was half concussed by the time I was done.

Surprised ya didn't pass out from all the smog aswell.

I've not got any exciting ones, got the worst fuck of my life though.

When I was 17 roughly I was seeing a lass, waited about 6 months to fuck, which I'm not bothered about but she acted absolute filth for all that time near enough. Got down to brass tacks, wouldn't suck dick cause you piss out of it, fair enough, not all women like it. Slip me hand down her pants and it's like getting lost in the amazon, could of swung on them pubes. Was abit like touching water cress on a cold autumn morning. Fucked for abit, got bored cause it was like fucking a bag of potatoes, pulled out and had a wank instead.

 

[John Marston]

got bored cause it was like fucking a bag of potatoes

You just made my day man.
Charles Bukowski vibes.

 

[anthony2690]

Surprised ya didn't pass out from all the smog aswell.

Amusingly a young gentleman in tracksuit approached me, I assumed he was going to try sell me drugs, but to my surprise he was trying to sell me pairs of socks, super strange!

 

[Dr. Suchong]

Went down on a friend with benefits.
She had appalling hygiene issues.
I reeled.
She noticed, and sobbed.


So we tried anal instead.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Went down on a friend with benefits.
She had appalling hygiene issues.
I reeled.
She noticed, and sobbed.


So we tried anal instead.

Was she hot?

 

[anthony2690]

Went down on a friend with benefits.
She had appalling hygiene issues.
I reeled.
She noticed, and sobbed.


So we tried anal instead.

"She had appalling hygiene issues"

So then you decided to stick it in her ass?

why?!

Spoiler

dude, saw a vulnerable chick, ready to do anything at her weakest teary eyed moment and took advantage

 

[Dr. Suchong]

Was she hot?

She wouldn't make the cover of Vogue or something, but then neither would I.

 

[GymWolf]

during one of the first weeks dating this girl we had sex and blacked out. When we woke up in the morning we discovered that I took a massive dump on her floor.

now we're married.

She saw your hidden potential that day.