What's wrong with me, and what should I do?
I took my friend James's leftover ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL NEW YORK molly with him yesterday, and we had a good time.
I'm not sure how we came to it, but I swore off all drugs while we hung out, and I could tell he wanted to follow, but he just couldn't commit to it. We started walking to a 7-Eleven for a pack of cigarettes, and right outside we ran into someone he knew.
The whole day had been full of enlightening talk, but once he started talking to this guy, I pulled my phone out and started recording it.
Background details. I work at McDonald's, James works at some local fast-food restaurant. We definitely don't want to do anything like this for the rest of our lives. But James has had a suspended license for years, no car, and I want to pull him out of this cycle. I want to pull myself out of the cycle. He dropped out of community college early on years ago (but wants to go back...someday), and I've been going for quite a while now and have failed like the last two semesters. I think for both of us, it's an issue of motivation and willpower. We can't get out of the rut on our own, and that's why I think we have to motivate each other.
Anyway, in the recording, James is talking to his friend Jose's (nickname: Squiggy) younger brother (I forgot his name) and giving him a talk on how Squiggy needs to be pulled out of the depths of drug abuse.
But as he's describing Squiggy, and occasionally his co-worker Tony, who's worked at the restaurant his whole life (he's in his 40s now), he's also unknowingly describing all of us, including himself (maybe unknowingly), almost exactly.
Here's the recording. Maybe there are a lot of people here who can relate.
It's 19 minutes long, but it's really worth a listen if you have the time. He's really channeling something special, but for some reason, keeps thinking he's being judged on how fucked up he thinks he comes off. In reality, his talk had us all listening so intently that we didn't notice anything off, because everything he was saying was right. About all of us.
https://soundcloud.com/tomas-bussenius/new-recording-124
After this, we got the pack of cigs (he didn't let me pay for them like I wanted to) and started to walk home, when he needed to take a piss. He set the pack down on a table, and the talk he gave earlier really got me thinking. He's been addicted to cigarettes for so long. Did he realize that what he was saying applied completely to him as well?
I took the pack as he pissed, pulled them all out, and held my hands around them, ready to rip them apart at the moment where it would be the most impactful. I left seven dollars on the table. He got mad at me, but I hope it made some sort of difference.
The rest of the story is in these texts. Though the talk goes into different directions later on.
I just want input. I want to learn lessons from yesterday and apply them. I want to change, and I want James to change too. Everything felt like it had such a significance last night. Empty bottles of alcohol. Crushed packs of cigarettes littering the ground. The people we saw and talked about. Every song we heard, and everything we said (and didn't say). Unfortunately, I can't remember much of that, but I dunno...can anyone else relate to any of this?
I took my friend James's leftover ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL NEW YORK molly with him yesterday, and we had a good time.
I'm not sure how we came to it, but I swore off all drugs while we hung out, and I could tell he wanted to follow, but he just couldn't commit to it. We started walking to a 7-Eleven for a pack of cigarettes, and right outside we ran into someone he knew.
The whole day had been full of enlightening talk, but once he started talking to this guy, I pulled my phone out and started recording it.
Background details. I work at McDonald's, James works at some local fast-food restaurant. We definitely don't want to do anything like this for the rest of our lives. But James has had a suspended license for years, no car, and I want to pull him out of this cycle. I want to pull myself out of the cycle. He dropped out of community college early on years ago (but wants to go back...someday), and I've been going for quite a while now and have failed like the last two semesters. I think for both of us, it's an issue of motivation and willpower. We can't get out of the rut on our own, and that's why I think we have to motivate each other.
Anyway, in the recording, James is talking to his friend Jose's (nickname: Squiggy) younger brother (I forgot his name) and giving him a talk on how Squiggy needs to be pulled out of the depths of drug abuse.
But as he's describing Squiggy, and occasionally his co-worker Tony, who's worked at the restaurant his whole life (he's in his 40s now), he's also unknowingly describing all of us, including himself (maybe unknowingly), almost exactly.
Here's the recording. Maybe there are a lot of people here who can relate.
It's 19 minutes long, but it's really worth a listen if you have the time. He's really channeling something special, but for some reason, keeps thinking he's being judged on how fucked up he thinks he comes off. In reality, his talk had us all listening so intently that we didn't notice anything off, because everything he was saying was right. About all of us.
https://soundcloud.com/tomas-bussenius/new-recording-124
After this, we got the pack of cigs (he didn't let me pay for them like I wanted to) and started to walk home, when he needed to take a piss. He set the pack down on a table, and the talk he gave earlier really got me thinking. He's been addicted to cigarettes for so long. Did he realize that what he was saying applied completely to him as well?
I took the pack as he pissed, pulled them all out, and held my hands around them, ready to rip them apart at the moment where it would be the most impactful. I left seven dollars on the table. He got mad at me, but I hope it made some sort of difference.
The rest of the story is in these texts. Though the talk goes into different directions later on.
I just want input. I want to learn lessons from yesterday and apply them. I want to change, and I want James to change too. Everything felt like it had such a significance last night. Empty bottles of alcohol. Crushed packs of cigarettes littering the ground. The people we saw and talked about. Every song we heard, and everything we said (and didn't say). Unfortunately, I can't remember much of that, but I dunno...can anyone else relate to any of this?
