MickeyKnox
Member
In my day to day, when someone describes me as exotic they tend to follow with the old "so, what are you?" which used to annoy me until it eventually turned into shorthand for not wasting my time talking to said person.
"Exotic" might not be a compliment towards people
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HappyBivouac
Member
If you walk up to random strangers and say "boy you sure do look different," what do you think the typical reaction is going to be?
Because any word can be loaded to any person.
If you are saying it is a statement that the person is pleasing, then you are saying they look different and beautiful. Why not just say they look beautiful then? Let's do some algebra here.
Exotic = Different + Beautiful
So it is a statement of saying somebody looks different and beautiful. Since the "different" part is just an extraneous statement that isn't really saying anything, why not just say "You look beautiful"? If you agree saying somebody looks different alone would be offensive, why is saying they look different and beautiful not worse than just they look beautiful?
That's not what's happening here.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I know for sure the intentions of some people who have used "exotic" or similar terms were not sincere or good. I'm not giving everyone the benefit of the doubt just for your sake when you could also just listen to how people feel and respect it.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
People do this all the time though, even calling someone beautiful is pointing out how you think they're more attractive then other people. That's just pointing out a desire for an attractive person as opposed to someone you think is unattractive.
It also doesn't have to tie into your desires at all. I don't care at all about cars, but I've still seen exotic cars and called them exotic. It's an observation, like calling something beautiful is.
I'm sorry you've come across some assholes in your life.
This is the biggest crock of shit that I hate. Don't tell me or other people that get called "exotic" that we're just looking for something to complain about. It's absolutely ridiculous. It doesn't really matter if you don't agree with the reasoning behind people's dislike of a term. If they don't see a word you see it, it doesn't mean they are just bitching for the sake of bitching.
flintstryker
Banned
I don't like you randomly swearing in your response to me brah fix that up please I am not here to argue with anyone.
Zoe
Member
I don't care if anyone thinks I'm ugly as long as my partner thinks I'm beautiful.
People who are called "exotic" are almost invariably ethnic minorities. And as we all know ethnic minorities face marginalization issues in society. By calling them "exotic" you are emphasizing this and very likely contributing to their sense of marginalization.
Don't tell me how to compliment others then because you decided to change the definition of it. I'm not going to guess what words fit into someone else's lexicon. Life is too short to be stepping on eggshells for fear of offending someone unintentionally.
I didn't once say "don't call people exotic". All I've done is questioned why people should take the term as a compliment. If you can't handle being questioned, and don't want to actually answer any questions, then why bother responding?
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
uhhhhh maybe you should learn some empathy bro. after all, your rights end where mine begin.
Wtf? Because of their beauty. For real?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Perfect.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Because saying someone looks different by itself isn't a compliment in the first place. If you said I looked different, I would not take that to mean that you think I'm attractive at all. There is no intention of that at all in that statement. Exotic is a word that across all of it's uses is used as a compliment and a celebration of differences.
Booty Patrol
Banned
I always saw the exotic 'compliment' as fetishizing ethnic groups, not really as making a comparison to others within the same ethnic group. Interesting take.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
If you're willing to download your brain into a computer chip that can be implanted into my brain so that you can edit my speech as I speak, then perhaps I'll be able to compliment people using the minimum number of adjectives. I could also use someone to edit my posts as well if the last sentence is any indication.
Why not? Maybe I shouldn't have said skin color, but ethnicity perhaps. You can post the dictionary definition of exotic all you guys want and tell everyone who's offended that they shouldn't be, but it's almost as if you're ignoring a lot of the context in these situations.
For example, like I stated before, the person who called me exotic did not call me that until I told her I was Indonesian. It wasn't a joking type thing like you how you have said it where you're obviously being sarcastic; she was sincere. I'm sure she meant well by the comment, but it made me feel weird because instead of being categorized as exotic because of my facial features or my actions or personality or whatever, it was because of my ethnicity and my ethnicity alone giving me the impression that perhaps she thought Indonesians weren't like "regular people" enough to the point where they are deemed "exotic". It makes me feel like I am "weird" whether that was the intention or not.
Now, you may say that I'm overreacting, but I don't think I am. I totally understand where she was coming from and where you guys are coming from and in every day conversation I would not even mention it, but because this is a topic on a discussion forum, I might as well discuss it.
In this case and in this thread for the most part we are talking about exoticism in terms of race and perhaps culture: whether you look like something different in comparison to the rest of your race or whether your entire race is entirely determined exotic.
Would you go up to somebody and say "You look different and beautiful" or "Your difference makes you look beautiful"? Those are the two primary meanings of "exotic". If you would say the first, why not drop the "different" out? Why isn't "You look beautiful" the better thing to say? You think people take it as a compliment that you notice they look different from others?
People in this thread have called Angelina Jolie and Nicole Kidman exotic looking, so I think there is a little variability in the use of the word.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
I think you just nailed it. This is why I find the word a little creepy.
That's precisely the problem with it. It's a second layer of objectifying a person.
In the 35 years I have been alive I have never heard anyone in the corporal word use the word in reference to those two people. In fact, I've also never heard the word used to describe caucasians at all. Almost always it's directed towards Asian females.
Mighty Chin
Banned
So basically saying someone is Exotic is akin to saying you are pretty attractive for a non-white.
QuicheFontaine
Member
See, I don't think it is extraneous. Beauty can derive from the differences, and "exotic" is a word that conveys that. Why not say exactly what I mean? Because pointing out differences is wrong? I don't think it is, we're all different and I think we should embrace that.
I don't agree with that. You said yourself, differences can be good, they can be bad, they can be nothing. All I said was that saying "you're different" in isolation is not a compliment.
RockTurtle
Member
Zoe
Member
There have been several examples in here of white people who have been considered exotic.
So when you tell people they are exotic, you are telling them they are beautiful because they look different? Look, I'm not trying to play some sort of "gotcha" game, but that's honestly how that sounds.
Why would that be a gotcha? People look different, if that difference makes them beautiful, what's the problem?
flintstryker
Banned
Maybe I am not good at this social thing but I see absolutely nothing wrong with this, I have been called exotic before because of my accent and it never once cross my mind that this could be considered offensive.
What right would that be? The right to not be offended? Never heard of that.
Yes it can be. Again, people like being told their unique, special, one of a kind and so forth. Exotic is another word to use for that. Now as another member said it can be annoying if you're constantly being told you're such way, but that doesn't mean that the word is inheritor disrespectful. That's a contextual thing and you'd be better off at telling someone that as the situation arises.
HOMEBOY OVER HERE
Banned
I think it's how you frame it. In sort of a sleazy way where guys will kinda talk about it in this disingenuous superficial way is gross for many woman I'm sure. I think I physically and socially contrast from most people and tend to be attracted to women that are same. I think if you pay a genuine compliment about their conscious effort to bring something that usually isn't in the norm out it can be taken the right way by many.
I have a friend with dreads that always gets complimented on them and she says it gets kinda annoying but I believe she's told me there are ways you can compliment her on it that don't come off like just some lifeless typical guy compliment. where there is actual thought and meaning behind what you're saying.
I'm writing this post in relation to no particular race or gender. Just what's off the top of my head. Obviously there are things that you don't need to compliment if they're different from what you usually see.
I have a friend with dreads that always gets complimented on them and she says it gets kinda annoying but I believe she's told me there are ways you can compliment her on it that don't come off like just some lifeless typical guy compliment. where there is actual thought and meaning behind what you're saying.
I'm writing this post in relation to no particular race or gender. Just what's off the top of my head. Obviously there are things that you don't need to compliment if they're different from what you usually see.
Exotic basically just means foreign or 'from someplace far away', not just different. A guy wearing spandex and clown shoes to school isn't 'exotic' for doing so.
There's no negative connotations attached that I can see at all.
Lord knows how somebody would be offended by somebody being pleased about one's being(or looking like they are) from some faraway place.
I don't get it.
There's no negative connotations attached that I can see at all.
Lord knows how somebody would be offended by somebody being pleased about one's being(or looking like they are) from some faraway place.
I don't get it.
CountAntonius
Member
This is a good discussion to have but I think it's highlights the fact people use and interpret the word completely differently and there is no definitive answer as to whether or not the person intended to be offensive or not.
Because the people that take offense to it would rather be considered attractive because their appearance is attractive on its own. I think both of the women below are beautiful. I wouldn't call the second woman "exotic". I see no reason to make an observation of difference while complimenting her beauty. Her beauty speaks for itself.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I've explained in many different ways. Others have explained in many different ways. At this point, it's just pure stubbornness on your part to not get it.
http://www.imdb.com/list/ls000072238/
http://top10for.com/top-10-highly-exotic-hollywood-actresses-2014/
Some people have different experiences than you. No Asians in either list as far as I know.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
they both look american as fuck tho and are conventional beauties. find a hotty who either looks foreign or vaguely weird/mysterious and you've got an exotic chica. or just take any asian and there will be some bros who consider her exotic, the type who need and demand a dutiful, doting japanese waifu.
megan fox is actually a solid example... don't know why kate beckinsale or anne hatheway are on those lists, though. they're pretty bog standard cute pies.
Yeah exactly. And some people don't like having this pointing out all the time. Especially, if they are of an ethnic group that is treated foreign regardless of where they are actually from by society at large.
A list on the internet isn't the same as real-life experience.
RockTurtle
Member
thank you for this link.
i hope it puts to down the assumption that some of use arguing that exotic isn't always a negative connotation isn't down to brown skin or non-whites
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
That could also mean they're aware of what it means to put Asians in that list. It's a legit thing with Asian and black people in America.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
you forgot black people
CountAntonius
Member
See I could understand that but what bothers me about that line of thinking is you completely disregard the other person's opinion, intention and definition of the word in favor of your own that only has a negative connotation. If you tell a person you find it offensive and they keep using it towards you then they are being insensitive. But on the initial use they may not have have meant any disrespect or meant it in the way you took it.
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