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[QuicheFontaine]

For example, imagine someone calling a black lady exotic, which is probably harmless on its own, but later that same day, someone on the street yells out "look, we've got a hot black girl!" They're going to feel weird, and they're not going to feel very included in their own city.

No doubt, but different contexts, different scenarios. This isn't the cat-calling thread, we're discussing a word. I doubt that lady would enjoy having anything shouted at her on the street. If I'm served at McDonalds by someone with green hair, I would say hey you're exotic, just because that's not really the place to be doing that.

My only point is, differences exist, recognising them is fine, "exotic" is a word that does this in a complimentary way, and I see no problem with it. If people don't like being called it, or just don't like being complimented at all, then I can't argue with that. But imo the word is fine in plenty of circumstances.

 

[CountAntonius]

Why exotic though? Why not unique, different or something? I highly doubt the first word that comes to mind is exotic. I swear it sounds like an attempt to be clever or eloquent. Like come on, it just doesn't sound right.

I think it's because they are familiar with the word used in that sense and think it's a nicer compliment than just unique. I think to some it means unique and beautiful combined. That's always been my take.

 

[Cagey]

It just seems so damn weird. Who actually comes out and without any problem just says "hey you look exotic!"?

Can someone answer this? Why would that word pop into your head? That's like saying moist instead of wet or damp. Just... why?

people who think you have features they deem exotic?

Nah, I agree with her point: ignoring the original argument about whether it's "othering" a person or not, it's the connotation of the word as one type of compliment. Exotic is more synonymous with sexy than beautiful (in my mind, anyway). Given that, I would wonder why someone's brain went there (or to the word "sexy") as an appropriate means of complimenting someone.

"Your friend is pretty"
"Your friend is beautiful"
"Your friend is sexy"
"Your friend is exotic"

The last two just seem strange and inappropriate to say in casual conversation compared to the first two because they both are more sexual terms, imo.

EDIT: even "your friend is hot" doesn't sound as off-putting.

 

[Malvolio]

Why exotic though? Why not unique, different or something? I highly doubt the first word that comes to mind is exotic. I swear it sounds like an attempt to be clever or eloquent. Like come on, it just doesn't sound right.

Not sure I've ever used exotic to describe a person, but different or unique certainly seem like they have a higher chance to offend to me.

 

[Zoe]

Why exotic though? Why not unique, different or something? I highly doubt the first word that comes to mind is exotic. I swear it sounds like an attempt to be clever or eloquent. Like come on, it just doesn't sound right.

Because it carries the connotation of also being exceptionally attractive.

 

[CountAntonius]

Nah, I agree with her point: ignoring the original argument about whether it's "othering" a person or not, it's the connotation of the word as one type of compliment. Exotic is more synonymous with sexy than beautiful (in my mind, anyway). Given that, I would wonder why someone's brain went there (or to the word "sexy") as an appropriate means of complimenting someone.

"Your friend is pretty"
"Your friend is beautiful"
"Your friend is sexy"
"Your friend is exotic"

The last two just seem strange and inappropriate to say in casual conversation compared to the first two because they both are more sexual terms, imo.

EDIT: even "your friend is hot" doesn't sound as off-putting.

When I've heard it it's usually like "That person has an exotic look" I think it has more to do with the how unique they find the person. Of course it all the depends on the person and their delivery but I've never really heard it used in a negative light and haven't been offended when it's been told to me. But I guess I can see how some people may feel like if it's an isolating term especially if they don't consider themselves exotic.

 

[ishibear]

Nah, I agree with her point: ignoring the original argument about whether it's "othering" a person or not, it's the connotation of the word as one type of compliment. Exotic is more synonymous with sexy than beautiful (in my mind, anyway). Given that, I would wonder why someone's brain went there (or to the word "sexy") as an appropriate means of complimenting someone.

"Your friend is pretty"
"Your friend is beautiful"
"Your friend is sexy"
"Your friend is exotic"

The last two just seem strange and inappropriate to say in casual conversation compared to the first two because they both are more sexual terms, imo.

That's exactly what I feel. It's really a WTF comment haha
Like, what made that word come to mind? Beautiful would serve the same purpose. Exotic is like telling someone they're weird but sexy. I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to something like that. Thank you? But you called me weird to look at too... so now I'm vastly confused.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Why exotic though? Why not unique, different or something? I highly doubt the first word that comes to mind is exotic. I swear it sounds like an attempt to be clever or eloquent. Like come on, it just doesn't sound right.

But people use exotic to describe many things that are beautiful but foreign to what they're used to.

Also, I'd be far more offended if someone said I looked unique or different.

 

[Sword Familiar]

It feels like this topic is discussing a problem that doesn't really exist.

 

[bengraven]

The white girls I knew growing up called Mexican boys "exotic delicacies".

 

[Crisco]

I get called that all the time because of my dark, middle eastern complexion along with really bright green eyes. It's actually pretty common in the part of the ME my family is from but no one knows that so they assume I'm some sort of mutant.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

It feels like this topic is discussing a problem that doesn't really exist.

I explained how it really, really exists. Others have too. Thanks for reading.

 

[genjiZERO]

I find the word "exotic" to describe people pretty offensive personally.

 

[jasonng]

It feels like this topic is discussing a problem that doesn't really exist.

It's more of an observation than a problem but it very much exists.

 

[ishibear]

Not sure I've ever used exotic to describe a person, but different or unique certainly seem like they have a higher chance to offend to me.

Because it carries the connotation of also being exceptionally attractive.

Exotic, while it does imply attractiveness, is still calling you different, unique, weird but just with added flattery. Sounds more like an oxymoron or something. You're weird looking but attractive? Confusing.

But people use exotic to describe many things that are beautiful but foreign to what they're used to.

I don't think exotic is the first word to come to mind when describing someone. In storytelling, maybe, but real life? What?

 

[QuicheFontaine]

Exotic, while it does imply attractiveness, is still calling you different, unique, weird but just with added flattery. Sounds more like an oxymoron or something. You're weird looking but attractive? Confusing.

Again, no.

Why are people taking the word "exotic" and making it synonymous with "weird" in this thread?

Exotic doesn't just mean weird, it's got a connotation just as weird does. You could probably break it down as

exotic = unusual + good

weird = unusual + bad

Is this just people not understanding the word?

 

[Cagey]

When I've heard it it's usually like "That person has an exotic look" I think it has more to do with the how unique they find the person. Of course it all the depends on the person and their delivery but I've never really heard it used in a negative light and haven't been offended when it's been told to me. But I guess I can see how some people may feel like if it's an isolating term especially if they don't consider themselves exotic.

That's exactly what I feel. It's really a WTF comment haha
Like, what made that word come to mind? Beautiful would serve the same purpose. Exotic is like telling someone they're weird but sexy. I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to something like that. Thank you? But you called me weird to look at too... so now I'm vastly confused.

I mentioned earlier, my wife sees the word exotic like the way CountAntonius describes: a unique or different (in the good way, not weird or strange) beauty. To her, it's awesome because she'd rather be exotic than "generic pretty" which is "plain, dime-a-dozen, decent looking white girl". It's not a sexual word to her, it's synonymous with beauty.

When I think exotic to describe a person (not a celebrity on TV, a person in real life) -- whether it's the spelling and pronunciation being so damn close to erotic, or some association with porn, or w/e -- I think it's sexual, in most instances. Not all, but that's where my brain would first go.

It's still a compliment, in my view, but it's a different kind of one.

 

[RockTurtle]

Exotic, while it does imply attractiveness, is still calling you different, unique, weird but just with added flattery. Sounds more like an oxymoron or something. You're weird looking but attractive? Confusing.



I don't think exotic is the first word to come to mind when describing someone. In storytelling, maybe, but real life? What?

people from different places can have different vocabulary and word usage even when they speak the same language. exotic is not in your everyday usage. that's not the same for everyone.

 

[CountAntonius]

Exotic, while it does imply attractiveness, is still calling you different, unique, weird but just with added flattery. Sounds more like an oxymoron or something. You're weird looking but attractive? Confusing.



I don't think exotic is the first word to come to mind when describing someone. In storytelling, maybe, but real life? What?

I guess that's a personal interpretation though. I don't think different necessarily means weird and if they wanted to be insulting they could just call you weird.

 

[lord quas]

I'd love to be called exotic.. but thats probably because I'm white

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Is this just people not understanding the word?

It's people preferring to be called the same positive terms as everyone else. Exotic reminds us we're very different, which can be positive, but there are so many things reminding us it usually isn't.

 

[Wasteman]

I don't know who that lady is, but just from the gifs she pisses me off.

People need to stop trying to find offence in everything, it's getting the point where we going to have to talking in Newspeak to avoid offence.

Also, Exotic is not a synonym for weird. Do you think people go around saying "that guy talking to himself, half dressed in the street was exotic."

I would of shortened that example by substituting homeless person in, but I probably would of offended someone.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Exotic, while it does imply attractiveness, is still calling you different, unique, weird but just with added flattery. Sounds more like an oxymoron or something. You're weird looking but attractive? Confusing.



I don't think exotic is the first word to come to mind when describing someone. In storytelling, maybe, but real life? What?

Maybe not the first word, but honestly if I had to choose out of exotic and the two words you suggested, I'd pick exotic.

Also, exotic doesn't necessarily mean weird. If I see a foreign car and call it exotic, I'm not saying the car is weird.

 

[SummitAve]

It's people over compensating to not look offensive. Exotic sounds better than pointing out that they have darker skin, or look like they come from a tropical island. You'd have to find those things offensive to begin with before exotic can be considered offensive. Some people don't like being different or weird though. In my opinion, the more diversity the better.

Regardless, don't tell people directly that they look exotic. Unless you know them, you just come off as a huge idiot.

 

[Ties]

I guess that's a personal interpretation though. I don't think different necessarily means weird and if they wanted to be insulting they could just call you weird.

Exotic's denotation means something that's foreign. What does its connotation mean? Apparently it's supposed to mean that you're incredibly attractive, but there are much better words to use for that conversationally. It's sort of how "gay" apparently means "bad" but it doesn't even come close, it's debilitating.

 

[jasonng]

I will say that I get the notion that people want to express with a compliment that has more impact than your generic adjectives. It's just that the people who hear the word hear it often and it loses its meaning, especially when they don't consider themselves any different from others.

 

[Air]

I don't think exotic is the first word to come to mind when describing someone. In storytelling, maybe, but real life? What?

It happens. In my day to day I usually see a lot of similar looking people since I work in midtown manhattan. When I come across a striking girl who doesn't fit what I'm used to seeing I'll think of them, or say they're exotic for me due to what I'm used to seeing. Similar to how I'd probably be exotic to someone if I go to japan since I'm black. Now you might say just call them beautiful, but I find that to be an incredibly strong opening to just meeting someone and if I want to have a conversation with them, there's not much else to go to (as far as flirting is concerned), and it's hard to keep the banter going. Just my two cents and if the girl or whomever I talk to don't want to be called that, than they'd usually show some sign of disinterest or verbalize it and I move on to another topic.

Edit: as far as considering oneself not different than others, I think that's all a context issue. Like I said in earlier in this post, if I were to go to Japan I'd probably be considered exotic for some girls because all they may be used to seeing is Japanese men. Yeah I'm just a person like them, but as far as eyes can tell I'm strikingly different. You have to be prepared for that I think when going out to certain places because some demographics have an affinity to certain areas.

 

[genjiZERO]

People who don't think there's anything wrong with it: you are on notice that there are people who really don't like this term.

It's people preferring to be called the same positive terms as everyone else. Exotic reminds us we're very different, which can be positive, but there are so many things reminding us it usually isn't.

I agree. It's an unnecessary way of differentiating people based upon looks. If someone is attractive people should just say so. There doesn't need to be this "because you are so ethnically different" connotation to it too

 

[Sword Familiar]

I explained how it really, really exists. Others have too. Thanks for reading.

I read the OP, at least. (Not implying that you didn't, but that my response was on topic). I've never really heard anyone use "exotic" as a compliment and have a hard time believing it could be more than isolated events leading to someone thinking it's a common occurrence. I'll read the thread more thoroughly and see if you guys have anything noteworthy to say about it. Sorry if I somehow offended you.

 

[ishibear]

There's nothing wrong with the word exotic itself but in these circumstances, I'm just not sure it's very appropriate. Exotic, to me, is describing someone as strangely attractive. I'd expect that from someone who's gotten to know me, sure, you're free to say that and tell me it's a compliment and I'll believe you, but some stranger approaching me and saying that? I'd be very uncomfortable. It's kinda like reducing me to a weird thing to ogle, and I'm tired of my sex being seen as an excuse to drool over me...

 

[CountAntonius]

Exotic's denotation means something that's foreign. What does its connotation mean? Apparently it's supposed to mean that you're incredibly attractive, but there are much better words to use for that conversationally. It's sort of how "gay" apparently means "bad" but it doesn't even come close, it's debilitating.

Uncommonly attractive is what i would guess most people use it as. I guess if you'd be offended by that you'd be offended with being called exotic. Not something I ever really thought about honestly but it's an interesting discussion.

 

[QuicheFontaine]

I will say that I get the notion that people want to express with a compliment that has more impact than your generic adjectives. It's just that the people who hear the word hear it often and it loses its meaning, especially when they don't consider themselves any different from others.

Yeah, I understand what you were getting at earlier now btw. I was unusual (be it weird or exotic) when I was on holiday in India, but afterwards I came home where I'm "normal" again. I imagine it would get tiresome if I had people saying that to me all the time in the UK.

 

[Sketchbag]

It's people preferring to be called the same positive terms as everyone else. Exotic reminds us we're very different, which can be positive, but there are so many things reminding us it usually isn't.

It seems like a lack of understanding the word. Exotic doesn't mean you're not human or entitled to the same things we all are. It's a colorful word to describe people the person saying it barely comes into contact with which they consider exotic.

People are different. It's a fact of life. Just because some people perceive this word to be offensive or excluding doesn't mean it is. If we go that route, there are a bunch of common words that are exclusive (since they're used to denote minorities IE African-American). However, on the flip side there are countries where Caucasians aren't the majority and are given the same fluffly colorful descriptive words. You can make an argument they're not inclusive but then you have to make the same argument for why "handicapp" isn't offensive since it generalizes all walks of handicapp people. And FYI, if we're going down the route of "people find it offensive" without data I can say in advance I know handicapped individuals who hate the word and would prefer something more specific.

 

[Sketchbag]

There's nothing wrong with the word exotic itself but in these circumstances, I'm just not sure it's very appropriate. Exotic, to me, is describing someone as strangely attractive. I'd expect that from someone who's gotten to know me, sure, you're free to say that and tell me it's a compliment and I'll believe you, but some stranger approaching me and saying that? I'd be very uncomfortable. It's kinda like reducing me to a weird thing to ogle, and I'm tired of my sex being seen as an excuse to drool over me...

If you ever get approached by a person who finds you attractive and wants to get your number or any equivelent, they already saw you as a piece of meat--because most situations people only see the physical. You can feel uncomfortable but then you must be uncomfortable with other lines like, "you're pretty" as it has the same intention.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

People are different. It's a fact of life. Just because some people perceive this word to be offensive or excluding doesn't mean it is. If we go that route, there are a bunch of common words that are exclusive (since they're used to denote minorities IE African-American). However, on the flip side there are countries where Caucasians aren't the majority and are given the same fluffly colorful descriptive words. You can make an argument they're not inclusive but then you have to make the same argument for why "handicapp" isn't offensive since it generalizes all walks of handicapp people. And FYI, if we're going down the route of "people find it offensive" without data I can say in advance I know handicapped individuals who hate the word and would prefer something more specific.

What does the descriptor "exotic" add to anything, though? Handicapped, minority, etc. helps us understand different life experiences and gives us context. When is exotic ever necessary?

 

[Alligatorjandro]

I am exotic

 

[Sketchbag]

What does the descriptor "exotic" add to anything, though? Handicapped, minority, etc. helps us understand different life experiences and gives us context. When is exotic ever necessary?

What does "beautiful" add to anything, though? See how this goes? There are a lot of descriptors that are meaningless and when you really think about it all can be "considered" offensive and excluding.

 

[jasonng]

It happens. In my day to day I usually see a lot of similar looking people since I work in midtown manhattan. When I come across a striking girl who doesn't fit what I'm used to seeing I'll think of them, or say they're exotic for me due to what I'm used to seeing. Similar to how I'd probably be exotic to someone if I go to japan since I'm black. Now you might say just call them beautiful, but I find that to be an incredibly strong opening to just meeting someone and if I want to have a conversation with them, there's not much else to go to (as far as flirting is concerned), and it's hard to keep the banter going. Just my two cents and if the girl or whomever I talk to don't want to be called that, than they'd usually show some sign of disinterest or verbalize it and I move on to another topic.

Edit: as far as considering oneself not different than others, I think that's all a context issue. Like I said in earlier in this post, if I were to go to Japan I'd probably be considered exotic for some girls because all they may be used to seeing is Japanese men. Yeah I'm just a person like them, but as far as eyes can tell I'm strikingly different. You have to be prepared for that I think when going out to certain places because some demographics have an affinity to certain areas.

But why are you calling people exotic ESPECIALLY in Manhattan? You literally come across dozens of ethnic backgrounds, all who have established a living here, yet you choose to single them out by calling them exotic.

It's the same if someone called you exotic because you're black. Why would they call you that when there is a healthy African American community in NYC?

If you're going to use the word exotic to describe the women in the city then you'll be using it a lot which is counter productive to your intention.

 

[adamsappel]

Is this woman "exotic"? If so, why?

I would probably not describe her that way. She is merely beautiful. When I think "exotic" this is the first image to come to mind:

I consider it a synonym to "striking," but it also carries over to clothing (saris, dashikis, etc.). Those are things I am not used to seeing, therefore exotic to me.

I was about to mention that I've never heard him called 'exotic'. A lot of people comment on his cheekbones, eyes, and pale skin. He does have a legit 'unusual' feature in that he has heterochromia in one eye. But that's hardly 'exotic'.

Literally the last time I used this word was to describe him. I find him weird-looking and if he were just the guy working in the mailroom I think that's how most people would feel, but I did allow to a friend who loves him that he could be considered "exotic."

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

What does "beautiful" add to anything, though? See how this goes? There are a lot of descriptors that are meaningless and when you really think about it all can be "considered" offensive and excluding.

"Beautiful" can fit everyone, though. Exotic is a word used in place of beautiful to remind us we're a specific kind of (usually race-based) beautiful. Why not call the same people beautiful instead of giving them their own term to remind them of how different they are? In the end, I don't want to be reminded I'm very different for no good reason. It makes me question so much about intentions and coincidences that I never had to consider before, when I could just be called hot instead.

 

[Ties]

So am I right when I say that people (typically minorities) that are deemed as "exotic" generally have features attributed to Caucasians that puts them above the "beautiful" mark and up to "exotic?"

 

[Sketchbag]

"Beautiful" can fit everyone, though. Exotic is a word used in place of beautiful to remind us we're a specific kind of (usually race-based) beautiful. Why not call the same people beautiful instead of giving them their own term to remind them of how different they are? In the end, I don't want to be reminded I'm very different for no good reason. It makes me question so much about intentions and coincidences that I never had to consider before, when I could just be called hot instead.

Exotic is relative just like beautiful. Not everyone is beautiful to everyone just how not every one is exotic to every one.

 

[Air]

But why are calling people exotic ESPECIALLY in Manhattan? You literally come across dozens of ethnic backgrounds, all who have established a living here, yet you choose to single them out by calling them exotic.

It's the same if someone called you exotic because you're black. Why would they call you that when you're a healthy African American community in NYC?

Because there are subsections of the island where generally a certain subset will go to. You're right though that it's really diverse. Anyway for example, in my mid town job, we usually get tons of foreigners, mostly from Western Europe and we get a lot of business people. The people who usually fit into these categories are white woman. When I see somebody who is dressed different or looks a bit different, I'd say they're exotic (for this area). The existence of a separate community in NYC doesn't equate to a person being intimately familiar with that community. I guess I should say to give a little more context to my side: I usually ask them where they're from first before I call them exotic, but I don't think it's bad if it's the first thing you start with.

 

[ishibear]

If you ever get approached by a person who finds you attractive and wants to get your number or any equivelent, they already saw you as a piece of meat--because most situations people only see the physical. You can feel uncomfortable but then you must be uncomfortable with other lines like, "you're pretty" as it has the same intention.

Wtf? No. This is so wrong.

I've been approached by very polite men numerous times. Men that don't subject me to thousands of compliments and ogle me like meat. You know, guys that know how to treat women as human beings, not objects to conquer.

I've said before I've gotten very pleasant compliments from guys. But luckily they were seized in the moment (once they've gauged my comfort level) and didn't involve all that nonsense I'm forced to deal with all the other times, just because I'm a woman.

I don't mind compliments, but I'm more comfortable around guys that clearly show interest in me and yet don't feel the need to go on about how beautiful I am*. That's really sweet and I always appreciate that.

*I know my looks is likely what drew him in, in the first place. Why keep it going?

 

[Zoe]

So am I right when I say that people (typically minorities) that are deemed as "exotic" generally have features attributed to Caucasians that puts them above the "beautiful" mark and up to "exotic?"

No, it's nothing specifically to do with being Caucasian. It's being different in a way that makes you stand out.

 

[Ties]

No, it's nothing specifically to do with being Caucasian. It's being different in a way that makes you stand out.

I was mostly referring to the examples used in the thread, notably the "dark skinned with green eyes" one.

 

[Zoe]

I was mostly referring to the examples used in the thread, notably the "dark skinned with green eyes" one.

But there have also been examples of Asian-Americans being called exotic just for being Asian.

 

[Dr.Acula]

"Exotic" should only be used as a casting call for the femme-fatale in a Bond film or the featured dancer in a Justin Timberlake video.

 

[Ties]

But there have also been examples of Asian-Americans being called exotic just for being Asian.

That sounds pretty offensive to me.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I remember my Asian high school girlfriend calling me months after we broke up to say her new boyfriend called her exotic, which then made her replay their relationship in her mind and made her realize he was fetishizing the fuck out of her. She was sobbing telling me, and I was kind of too young to understand how serious it was, but I totally get it by now.