I hope so. It just seems like all the legit good ones, I am not attracted to which is sad because I have low standards (as told to me by numerous people).
lol restart!? No way I need that basement re size.
Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
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I hope so. It just seems like all the legit good ones, I am not attracted to which is sad because I have low standards (as told to me by numerous people).
lol restart!? No way I need that basement re size.
You'll be fine. It's just a phase or a hump or whatever this dating thing is called.
I have no advice for this as I gave up in Animal Crossing.
Or sometimes they're fake profiles and they're trolling you :/
It's true to some extent though lol. Then again, I mainly ask mid-20s girls out because I look too young for 30+ year old women.
It's true to some extent though lol. Then again, I mainly ask mid-20s girls out because I look too young for 30+ year old women.
It's happened to me a couple of times as well in a somewhat similar situation lately. But to make it more relevant to your situation, I was supposed to go on a lunch date last Tuesday with a girl. I took a shower and got ready however, I had a gut feeling she was going to cancel it since she told me she had meetings throughout the day. My gut feeling was right; she shot me a text saying that there was a change of plans since her office had had a fire drill and she had a couple of more work meetings to attend. So she was considerate in making sure that I didn't go down there to waste my time for nothing which was great since since she'd told me the previous that she wouldn't want me to waste my time if she wasn't able to take a break at our arranged time. As much as it sucks in the short term, you learn to develop a thick skin for it.
As for advice on how to pay Tom Nook, go to the island during the night to farm for bugs. You get at least 70,000 bells per trip. Plus dig up fossils and stones (x marks on the ground), and take advantage of the Stalk Market if you're at that point.
Although lately I've been scaring girls off because I've either sent out big blocks of messages (a big no-no I've learned despite conversations going really well) or I'm the temporary entertainment of the moment of a girl until the replies get shorter and shorter and they eventually fizzle. I haven't been asking for numbers while the interest is super high lately so I miss my window of opportunity. It's been frustrating so I know that feel sis. I hate feeling like I'm someone's entertainment. On the flip side of that, it's been nice practicing my conversational skills at the very least.
Tinder's been great and all but it feels like I've lost my touch getting dates. I suppose it's like GK86 told me: I have to keep at it since I get several new matches a day. But it's hard not to be cynical when messaging girls these days. =/
Thanks for the AC advice I will do that. I agree in the sense that you learn to just let it go but it is in the very least a frustrating ordeal since you have to just keep at it for god knows how long. Thanks for sharing your story, it does seem more consistant than it used to be. A few years ago when I was 18 and 19 I would say 2/10 would flake then when I became 20-21 5/10 would flake and now at 22 it is like 8/10 flake. It is weird because a lot of other people are experiencing this as well.
Had a good date last night but who lnows if that will go anywhere, might flake. Ugh it is tough not being disappointed heh
D: Were you actually being passive aggressive though?
Not intentionally, no.
Mhm... has anyone ever told you that you come off this way? I know a lot of people who seem completely different online than off; it's like their personalities sort of stray somewhere between the boundaries of texts/messages.
This might seem obsessive but anytime I ever send a message I read through it like 10 times.. I check for spelling errors and say it out loud to see how it sounds. I'm sure most people will say "just be yourself" but that advice doesn't really help when it comes to trying to woo a girl via messages. Wait until you get your first date. THEN you can be yourself. Otherwise be very careful of what you send and think about how it might sound to a complete stranger who's probably already VERY skeptical about what they are doing.
eddievanclaylen
Member
I've met lots of girls on PoF and lol MySpace back in the day.had lots of fun doing it, but I met my current gf at work a few years ago.
I might try a dating site just to see if I still got it
I might try a dating site just to see if I still got it
I've met lots of girls on PoF and lol MySpace back in the day.had lots of fun doing it, but I met my current gf at work a few years ago.
I might try a dating site just to see if I still got it
Pretty sure your current girlfriend won't appreciate that....
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Who cares about that thing. There's an ego to be stroked.
That's what I thought when I read that post, too. Different strokes for different folks
?
I think this is a problem: taking dating to a serious level. It's supposed to be fun. If you go in with the mindset of, "I'm going to get a girlfriend or try to make something work" it usually won't. Have fun with it, if you're someone's entertainment at least you got some too. There's nothing wrong with a casual conversation that ends. Dwelling too much and thinking too much about their responses, if they'll respond, etc. will only appear in your demeanor in real life and your messages. Just have fun with it. The dating world isn't going to bend over backwards for you, so you gotta be able to laugh it off.
NoctisVsStar
Member
That's pretty accurate, just have fun ( not by wasting the other persons time ) and when you least expect it magic happens! Plus it's like a lottery you just don't know.
You are right but the thing is I tried out different approaches just to test it out and I still get the same thing. Obviously I am not attractive to every man ever, I mean shit I have had men say I was ugly, fat, stupid, and .....blonde? And liking video games/outdoors/cars and trucks is not every guys cup of tea especially when it comes to a girl, maybe I am scary? I fix my own vehicles and I think when the fact that I know mechanics (to some extent) and know games outside of COD and IOS is frightful.
The worst thing that I imagine is that I am not a stereotyped girl, yes I like makeup and glitter and all that but I have a ton of other interests and I think that might be why.
Please tell me Im wrong.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Well, personally, I only see the video game thing as a positive since I can relate to them in some fashion.
The car and trucks things can be fine, but it sort of masculinizes you especially since I am personally not invested in cars and trucks other than aesthetics it could be a negative depending on how involved you are with them.
I don't know how much that helps, but it depends on how much of an emphasis you put on it in your profile.
I've been noticing a lot of chicks recently have been putting pictures of them shooting guns, also. That makes me more inclined to not message them than otherwise for the same reason.
The "masculinization" thing only matters to me insofar that you are involved in something perceived as "for guys" while I'm not.
The car and trucks things can be fine, but it sort of masculinizes you especially since I am personally not invested in cars and trucks other than aesthetics it could be a negative depending on how involved you are with them.
I don't know how much that helps, but it depends on how much of an emphasis you put on it in your profile.
I've been noticing a lot of chicks recently have been putting pictures of them shooting guns, also. That makes me more inclined to not message them than otherwise for the same reason.
The "masculinization" thing only matters to me insofar that you are involved in something perceived as "for guys" while I'm not.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
You are more brave than I. I would only meet someone in public first. Especially since there are so many scammers out there.
Yeah thats what I was thinking, so many guys cant tolerate a girl being cooler than them
Lol I put up a pic of me with a shotgun, it was a fun time and I thought I would come off as adventurous but it sort of jut made me look like a murderer/republican haha.
As for my involvment in t interests, I dont live and breathe cars, I admire them and like to learn about mechanics. My interests are so vast that ot is hard not to find something to relate to.
Yeah that is true, its good to weed out the insecure guys before the conversation escalates. But even when things are going well they take a turn for the worst. I guess its just a matter of commitment to finding the person that has a spark and will make an effort to message you back. I dont feel hopeless but I do feel anxiety, I want to be able to enjoy my dates without thinking 'dont enjoy this too much because you may never hear from them again and it ruins everything!
Excuse any spelling errors, im writing from mobile.
NoctisVsStar
Member
Balls of steel, I have to agree with davepoobond.. I wouldn't want to meet someone the first time in my house shit they know where I live which is type scary, since maybe they can be stalkers for all we know
Halcyon
Member
I've had this done to me and also done it to others.
I think it's the impersonal nature of online dating mixed with dating causing anxiety in general.
There are certain people that use online dating to sorta fill a gap in their mood.
I for example don't feel lonely 95% of the time. I will occasionally get in a mood where I want to talk to someone new. That's usually when I browse the dating apps and get a conversation going.
Sometimes it leads to me actually wanting to meet the person. Alot of times even if I think the girl is pretty cool, I'm not actually in the mood to go out on a date. The problem is that this mood could change wildly and at any moment. So if I set up a date and then 2 hours beforehand I'm just not feeling the vibes I will cancel the date for no real reason.
I have always actually canceled and not just gone silent though. I also realize this makes me kind of an asshole but it happens.
Dating is weird. Some people don't like the anxiety of trying to get to know strangers and that's why alot of flaking happens.
So, she came by. We had fun. We watched The Purge then fucked. She had to leave to get ready for work at 4. She asked if I wanted a $20 Tim's Card. I said sure. I got laid and free $20 at Tim Hortons.
I should call her again.
I mentioned this in the other dating thread, but just thought I'd pose this question here as well.
I met this girl last week from OKC. Turns out she's smoking hot. Body-wise, easily the hottest, and curviest woman I've dated so far. When we met, she seemed very friendly and we had a pretty good rapport going. At least until the end of the date, where, despite the fact that it ended with a kiss, she started to feel a bit distant. We've exchanged texts back and forth, but she only provides annoying one word responses, and doesn't really seem too engaged. Oh, also she lives very far. After a couple of days not talking to her, I ask her out again (mostly just to see her reaction). To my surprise, she agrees to meet once again. We're supposed to meet later tonight.
So my question is, should I go through with it? I mainly ask cause it's kind of a trip to her place (she has a car but wanted me to pick her up both times), which I don't mind doing, but it's hard to tell if she's just using me to kill some time or whatever.
I met this girl last week from OKC. Turns out she's smoking hot. Body-wise, easily the hottest, and curviest woman I've dated so far. When we met, she seemed very friendly and we had a pretty good rapport going. At least until the end of the date, where, despite the fact that it ended with a kiss, she started to feel a bit distant. We've exchanged texts back and forth, but she only provides annoying one word responses, and doesn't really seem too engaged. Oh, also she lives very far. After a couple of days not talking to her, I ask her out again (mostly just to see her reaction). To my surprise, she agrees to meet once again. We're supposed to meet later tonight.
So my question is, should I go through with it? I mainly ask cause it's kind of a trip to her place (she has a car but wanted me to pick her up both times), which I don't mind doing, but it's hard to tell if she's just using me to kill some time or whatever.
Ask yourself what you're looking for. Is it casual sex? Did she give off that kind of impression? If you are and she did, then sure why not.
.. but, if you're looking for the real deal, do you really want someone who's already asking you to do all the work so early into this thing? I would personally want someone who wanted things to be equal. It sounds like you're giving 80% where as she is sitting back and tossing you 20% or something.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Man, I went through the exact. same. thing. a few weeks ago. It was a bit upsetting because she was the one that actually initiated contact, but those things happen. I told her to write me something whenever she felt like it and that was the end of it. It's up to her now, I'm not going to bother if she doesn't seem to be interested.
That said, maybe she's making up her mind. She agreed to a second date, so go for it. What's the worst that could happen? These days I'm not wasting any chances. My game is rusty as heck, so I'll take all the chances I get to improve it.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
she's going on a date with you again, so that has to mean something.
She claims to be a real prude, so the casual sex thing is probably out of the question.
Well, she could be a gold digger. On the other hand, she just asked me over to her place for dinner. That's a good sign, right?
This is all also true, some people just want to talk which is completely fine and at least you make a cancellation instead of fucking off. I understand the whole 'not feeling it' suddenly happen before a date, it happens to me too sometimes people dont make you feel excited enough and the interest may fizzle.
I just hope (for us all) that the weeding through of the numbers game is short lived.
She's gonna steal your kidneys!
Seriously though, if you got weird vibes from her just recently, might be a good idea to not go to her place and instead go somewhere else for dinner. That way, you can have an easy exit if things go south.
well, from the way he's been making her sound, if they decide to go out he might end up having to pick her up + paying for the meal..... which is no better than the other thing.
maybe she's just old fashioned? if she's actually going to cook for you that would be nice.
Ok guys, how desperate is too desperate?
Went on a date with someone a few weeks ago, we chit chat a bit afterwards, I didn't smell a second date (she mentioned her mom coming to visit, never mentioned trying to go out that weekend), so I moved ahead. So she texted me while I was out with someone else asking if I wanted to grab a drink. I responded to her first text, and then forgot to/couldn't respond to the second. Texted her the next day apologizing for not getting back to her, no response.
So what I'm getting at is this: is it even possible to try to salvage that? I figured I might message her on OKC in case she already deleted my number...but I don't know what to say without sounding creepy/desperate.
Fuck it?
edit: I am not a smart man
Went on a date with someone a few weeks ago, we chit chat a bit afterwards, I didn't smell a second date (she mentioned her mom coming to visit, never mentioned trying to go out that weekend), so I moved ahead. So she texted me while I was out with someone else asking if I wanted to grab a drink. I responded to her first text, and then forgot to/couldn't respond to the second. Texted her the next day apologizing for not getting back to her, no response.
So what I'm getting at is this: is it even possible to try to salvage that? I figured I might message her on OKC in case she already deleted my number...but I don't know what to say without sounding creepy/desperate.
Fuck it?
edit: I am not a smart man
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
surprisingly ive gotten a lot of people to reply to me, but not many after a second or third message. if they do a second or third, they dont seem to be asking me any questions, like i'm annoying them or something.
Charlie McCarthy
Member
Has anyone here used just pure hookup sites like AdultMatchMaker? I think the U.S equivalent is AdultFriendFinder.
Man this where the crazies hide out. I had my first legit stalker. We first met at a hotel and I have to say the sex was amazing. It was like truly something out of a hardcore porno. This chick had no limits whatsoever and even some of her requests I couldn't go through with. After we finished, we layed in bed for a while, then she got a phone call and said she had to go. She said to me "we will do this again soon ok? Which I agreed to.
Anyway a week goes by and haven't heard from her (not surprised though, I have grown used to flakiness). Until about 3 in the morning when I get a text saying "want to meet?"..I read the message but didn't respond, until I woke up, which was about 9 oclock. I texted "sorry just got your message, can meet tonight?", to which I get a reply which left me dumbfounded. "So your calling the shots now huh?" I texted you this morning and you never replied!". I say "um, you texted me a 3 in the morning, I didn't see it till I woke up"..she says "you said you were available anytime!"...Im thinking to myself jesus I am but within reason, but I don't think this chick does reason. I replied "look the other night was fun but maybe we should just leave it at that?". I get no response.
A couple of days later I am at the shop picking up some groceries and guess who I see? Its her, I walk straight past her and sort of nod and smile. She gives me a dirty and just keeps walking. I think nothing of this "chance" meeting. Next morning I get up to go to work and guess who is sitting in a car parked a few doors up from my house? I pretended I didn't notice but now alarm bells are going off in my head. "Is this chick stalking me?" I think to myself. A couple more days pass and I wake up to go to work and realise two of my tyres have been slashed. I call in to my boss to tell him what happened and he tells me a woman was there this morning asking about me. From what he described, it was her. Fuck I am legit scared, I don't know what this woman is capable of. I am always thinking "whats next". Its been 3 days and nothing else has happened but this chick obviously isn't all there and apart from the crazy sex she seemed pretty normal. I always have the feeling now I am being watched or followed.
Its crazy, I guess my message here is be careful out there guys and girls, you never truly know who you are meeting up with
Man this where the crazies hide out. I had my first legit stalker. We first met at a hotel and I have to say the sex was amazing. It was like truly something out of a hardcore porno. This chick had no limits whatsoever and even some of her requests I couldn't go through with. After we finished, we layed in bed for a while, then she got a phone call and said she had to go. She said to me "we will do this again soon ok? Which I agreed to.
Anyway a week goes by and haven't heard from her (not surprised though, I have grown used to flakiness). Until about 3 in the morning when I get a text saying "want to meet?"..I read the message but didn't respond, until I woke up, which was about 9 oclock. I texted "sorry just got your message, can meet tonight?", to which I get a reply which left me dumbfounded. "So your calling the shots now huh?" I texted you this morning and you never replied!". I say "um, you texted me a 3 in the morning, I didn't see it till I woke up"..she says "you said you were available anytime!"...Im thinking to myself jesus I am but within reason, but I don't think this chick does reason. I replied "look the other night was fun but maybe we should just leave it at that?". I get no response.
A couple of days later I am at the shop picking up some groceries and guess who I see? Its her, I walk straight past her and sort of nod and smile. She gives me a dirty and just keeps walking. I think nothing of this "chance" meeting. Next morning I get up to go to work and guess who is sitting in a car parked a few doors up from my house? I pretended I didn't notice but now alarm bells are going off in my head. "Is this chick stalking me?" I think to myself. A couple more days pass and I wake up to go to work and realise two of my tyres have been slashed. I call in to my boss to tell him what happened and he tells me a woman was there this morning asking about me. From what he described, it was her. Fuck I am legit scared, I don't know what this woman is capable of. I am always thinking "whats next". Its been 3 days and nothing else has happened but this chick obviously isn't all there and apart from the crazy sex she seemed pretty normal. I always have the feeling now I am being watched or followed.
Its crazy, I guess my message here is be careful out there guys and girls, you never truly know who you are meeting up with
those sites work? Every time I've gotten curious and browsed, it seems like nothing but bots
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
you should totally text her again for sex and tell her the stalking gave you a major hard on
(i'm just joking, i'm legit scared for you bro)
Charlie McCarthy
Member
There are a ton of bots but yeah there are plenty of legit people on there. A lot of people on there seem to be swingers. I have met quite a few women off there, this one I described is the first real crazy.
Haha, yeah that's a thought. Its the feeling that I am being followed is the worst. I am guessing she found out where I live by following me home from when she seen me shopping, which she must have also followed me to there and to my work. I am tempted to text her and try and get some sort of explaination but I think this will only make it worse. I am hoping just getting on with things like its not getting to me is the best course of action.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
no, she's latched herself onto you. i really dont have much advice, other than she is seemingly skilled enough to track you down, which makes me wonder how often she's done this before.
if you were going to text her to be like "haha that's so funny" you should be like "so when is it my turn to track your house down" or something like that.
but for reals, make sure you are paying attention outside of your house and when she is there call the police and say you are being followed. it is dangerous to let someone stalk you, obviously.
Charlie McCarthy
Member
Im definitely not going to text her but this is a situation I have never been in before. Been with a few crazy chicks, sure, but never anyone I thought could be dangerous. I do wonder how she tracked me down in the first place and I have had the same thought as you "has she done this before?". The thing is she obviously doesn't care that I know because she has been to my work and wasn't trying to hide when I seen her sitting in her car. I always had the thought that stalkers tried to do this stuff to mentally torture you without you actually never really knowing it was them for sure.
I won't get the police involved though and honestly Aussie cops probably wouldn't do much anyway unless she physically harmed me. I am going to just hope for the "ignore and will go away" but I don't know what could be next and its not a good feeling.
Thanks for the advice anyway mate.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
So GAF, what's the consensus on spamming girls you may like? So far I've only been pursuing one or two at the same time, but I swear to God I only get a date out of 10 tries and my patience is wearing thin (not blaming them, just lamenting the situation).
Should I go big and vastly increase my pool in order to achieve some actual results?
Should I go big and vastly increase my pool in order to achieve some actual results?
Yes and no.
You risk running into a "when it rains it pours" situation, and end up with a weekend with 3 or 4 possible dates, and then it just gets complicated trying to make plans and get actual commitments. So then that turns into one solid 'Yes' and then a couple of maybes. And while you try to figure out the maybes, both flake. So you went from talking to a handful of possible dates, to having just one for the weekend, and then the others that dropped off you'll never hear from again.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
LOL.
Truly the recurring comment when it comes to online dating.
FWIW, I'm always very clear about my intentions and tell them that I neither expect a romantic relationship right off the bat (I'm honestly more than OK with having more drinking ladybuddies) nor I close the door to something more serious. I'm not sure if that makes me less desirable (girls of my age and whereabouts are super concerned with finding an actual partner), but I'd rather be sincere than lie about it.
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