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[Funky Papa]

I think that it seems like a big issue because if you are white that is the only thing people can really count against you that you can't change. I never hear minority guys go on about being short.

If you look lame you can get a haircut and makeover and change that.
If you are fat you can work out and change that.

You can't do a damn thing about being 5'2 though lol.

While that is true, there's a bit more to it than the bolded: random girls, specially online, will make fun of you for being short, some times to the point of being mean and cruel.

As I explained in a different thread, I'm more shortish and short. I'm just slightly below the male average (but still considerably over the female one) and with a good posture and proper clothing I can look a bit taller (it helps that most people are not really that good at calculating heights in person), but some of the stuff I've heard girls about smaller guys is just plain hateful. And they don't give a fuck about saying it aloud or even in front of your fucking face, unlike race (I guess that being black and short is just the ultimate double whammy).

I stopped giving much of a shit about my height a long time ago (specially since flats became the norm, lol), but some of the stuff I see online and even heard among social circles makes my blood boil. And I'm not even the actual target.

 

[block tower]

Probably true but race does not compare in any way to height.

While race plays a role in preferences there are studies that state the following : 89% of women said the shortest person they would date would still have to be taller than them. That is amazing and a barrier that hardly compares to anything else. That is probably at the same level with having the face of Stalin and a swastika tattooed on your chest.

damn that's rough haha, what is the average height for women?

EDIT: so average hieght for women is 5'4, that's not that what i expected, i figured it'd be 5'6 or 5'7. http://www.*****************/scienc...matter-relationship-women-say-scientists.html

'However, our study suggests that for physical features such as height, similarity is not the dominant rule, especially with females.''According to the data, the main reasons females gave for preferring a tall partner were for protection and femininity. ''As the girl, I like to feel delicate and secure at the same time,' said a woman in the study who is 5 feet 3 inches tall. ''Something just feels weird in thinking about looking ‘down’ into my man’s eyes.'' There is also something to be said about being able to wear shoes with high heels and still being shorter. ''I also want to be able to hug him with my arms reaching up and around his neck.''

damn that's kind of cold haha.

 

[Mesousa]

Probably true but race does not compare in any way to height.

While race plays a role in preferences there are studies that state the following : 89% of women said the shortest person they would date would still have to be taller than them. That is amazing and a barrier that hardly compares to anything else. That is probably at the same level with having the face of Stalin and a swastika tattooed on your chest.

Do you think 89% of white or Asian women would ever enter a serious relationship with Black men? Answer honestly

 

[ICKE]

Do you think 89% of white or Asian women would ever enter a serious relationship with Black men? Answer honestly

I'd wager a lot of money over 11% of Asian women would be willing to entertain the idea of dating a black person. We are usually talking about single digit variables when race is part of the equation.

But if you are a short male :

Game over breh.

 

[clav]

But if you are short, it's game over breh game over

Maybe the short man problem is more about attitude rather than about the actual height?

 

[Funky Papa]

Maybe the short man problem is more about attitude than about the actual height?

Did you look at the stats?

They are just above you.

 

[freddy]

Looks like short black men have it rough.

 

[clav]

Did you look at the stats?

They are just above you.

Oh OK.

What's the solution?

 

[Funky Papa]

Oh OK.

What's the solution?

Short men have been pondering that question for a good while, I'm afraid. Being a short male is some serious shit luck.

 

[ICKE]

Oh OK.

What's the solution?

You are not going to convince females that a short guy is suddenly attractive or oozes masculinity. It is just a part of life, most women want to feel secure and having a short person next to you is just not going to work. Of course there are exceptions, 11% responded that it is not an automatic disqualifier so they might(!) entertain the idea.

And the answer "do not date online" hardly is the answer, because you are not going to work around that dynamic inside a bar either.

 

[Infinite]

Oh OK.

What's the solution?

Don't date online.

 

[Bleepey]

Short men have been pondering that question for a good while, I'm afraid. Being a short male is some serious shit luck.

 

[Mesousa]

While that is true, there's a bit more to it than the bolded: random girls, specially online, will make fun of you for being short, some times to the point of being mean and cruel.

As I explained in a different thread, I'm more shortish and short. I'm just slightly below the average and with a good posture and proper clothing I can look a bit taller (it helps that most people are not really that good at calculating heights in person), but some of the stuff I've heard girls about smaller guys is just plain hateful. And they don't give a fuck about saying it aloud or even in front of your fucking face, unlike race (I guess that being black and short is just the ultimate double whammy).

I stopped giving much of a shit about my height a long time ago (specially since flats became the norm, lol), but some of the stuff I see online and even heard among social circles makes my blood boil. And I'm not even the actual target.

I'm pretty short (a little under 5'7 or about 167 cm) and I have never had my height ever mentioned to me. I have had the fact that I am of showable African descent thrown at me though, and I am on the light end of the spectrum in term of actual skin complexion.

I'd wager a lot of money over 11% of Asian women would be willing to entertain the idea of dating a black person. We are usually talking about single digit variables when race is part of the equation.

But if you are a short male :



Game over breh.

I think they would say it , but in actual practice I am not so sure they would. Hell, in terms of white women(who we can all agree are more open to dating outside their race) I will say it is also iffy in practice. The funny thing I have noticed is that white women will try to put on some faux minstrel BET-like hood act when talking to you, but will magically lose such way of speech when talking to white guys. This is so offensive to me, especially when I know its because my race because I am very not that type of way lol.

 

[Funky Papa]

Don't date online.

Don't believe for a second short men have it much easier IRL. Specially if it's in a social context and your friends are taller. Unless your game is off the charts, you'll get fuck all attention.

 

[Dabanton]

It would be interesting to know which country people are using OKCupid in. I'm a black male living in London I always did very well dating wise. I used most of the big dating sites PoF etc but preferred OKC because more arty and creative women used it and I've always found they've been more open minded on dating vs women in other professions.

 

[Bleepey]

It would be interesting to know which country people are using OKCupid in. I'm a black male living in London I always did very well dating wise. I used most of the big dating sites PoF etc but preferred OKC because more arty and creative women used it and I've always found they've been more open minded on dating vs women in other professions.

I was more succesful on POF. However nowadays, i just use tinder cos I am lazy and I can't be fucked to search, read and write witty messages. Shit felt like job hunting.

 

[clav]

Short men have been pondering that question for a good while, I'm afraid. Being a short male is some serious shit luck.

Yeah well. What are you going to do? Complain all day?

You are not going to convince females that a short guy is suddenly attractive or oozes masculinity. It is just a part of life

At least you recognize the most important part.

Don't date online.

Online dating is all on a spec sheet. Unless you say you're making $400,000 that the WSJ says households should be making, you don't really get a chance to know the person. That is, a lot of variables in real life social context are removed in online interactions.

 

[Infinite]

Don't believe for a second short men have it much easier IRL. Specially if it's in a social context and your friends are taller. Unless your game is off the charts, you'll get fuck all attention.

Personal anecdote; I'm relatively short and black and I haven't been struggling with finding a date.

I just think online dating makes people way more shallow than usual.

 

[Cagey]

Did you look at the stats?

They are just above you.

 

[War Peaceman]

While I don't know either of you two specifically, I will say this is how most people think. Very few people actually think -- consciously, inside their heads -- that they would never date a black girl, or that Asian people are inferior. Most people believe they are just chasing "attractive women." The question we need to ask is: how did their opinions on what is attractive form in the first place?

I'm sure there are quite a few men out there who just date "attractive women," but it just so happens that to them, white and asian women are notably more likely to be attractive to them. Thus, nobody seems to be doing anything wrong (that is, most people are just dating women they find attractive), but black women end up losing because it seems a disproportionate amount of men just so happen to not find them attractive.

This is a great post. Thinking about it logically I know that I too am guilty (Is that a fair word for it?) of having certain preferences. It would be really interesting to have a thread where people attempt to critique themselves; it could be really productive.

Don't believe for a second short men have it much easier IRL. Specially if it's in a social context and your friends are taller. Unless your game is off the charts, you'll get fuck all attention.

How short is a short man? Does body type have an effect (Ectomorphs typically look taller, for example)?

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

But if you are a short male

Game over breh.

I'm dying alone....I'm short and black

:'-((

 

[Cagey]

Don't believe for a second short men have it much easier IRL. Specially if it's in a social context and your friends are taller. Unless your game is off the charts, you'll get fuck all attention.

In a group of friends of mine, we've observed this phenomenon with one of our friends. Handsome, sweet guy, tan surfer look. When we go out to a bar or club, women love him -- love hanging out with him, chatting with him, dancing, whatever.

He's barely 5'6". He's seen as non-threatening and friendly. That's why they love him.

If he were 6'2" he'd need bodyguards to keep the ladies away.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Yeah well. What are you going to do? Complain all day?

While I am short and I agree that sulking about girl-issues isn't a solution, this wording seems a bit harsh. Would you say the same thing to a minority? Some would consider it a very real issue when people are discriminated against. Not sure what can be done though.

 

[Infinite]

How short is "short"?

 

[neojubei]

Worst thing you can be in America is black and gay, cause no one wants you at that point.

Aint that the truth.

 

[Moral Panic]

While race plays a role in preferences there are studies that state the following : 89% of women said the shortest person they would date would still have to be taller than them. That is amazing and a barrier that hardly compares to anything else. That is probably at the same level with having the face of Stalin and a swastika tattooed on your chest.

I think the benefit of the OKCupid stats vs these is that the OKCupid stuff looks at what people actually do, and not what they say they do. Not to say that short men don't get less attention, but that I wouldn't read too much into this.

Furthermore a study of ~400 undergraduates is much more susceptible to sampling bias (only certain demographics more likely to go uni etc) rather than OKCupid's 500K+ random sampling.

 

[freddy]

How short is "short"?

In this context, shorter than the girl you are wanting to date.

 

[Nealand Liquor]

White guy married to a mixed 1st nation woman - I met my wife at a pub and there were sparks immediately, eventhough we didn't date for four years after meeting. She later confessed that the first night she saw me as I walked through the doors of the pub, she got butterflies in her stomach and even to this day everytime she make eye contact with me, she still gets weak in the knees. So naturally once her relationship ended, she got her friend to set us up and we've been together ever since.
The reason I said this is when we first started dating she showed me her POF dating profile, and I was the absolute opposite of everything she wanted.
I am blonde and she loves black/dark hair, I am super white (not ginger) and she likes dark olive skin, I am not 6', I smoked at the time, I smoked pot, I was just laid off work, I didn't have a car AND I had a kid from a previous relationship. On that site I was literally everything she didn't want; However in real life she sought me out, she seduced me, and she made the first move.

If you are black/brown/tan and these stats have stung you or, no matter how insignificant, you took a hit to your self-esteem, just remember that many people have listed unrealistic fairytale "wants". Shit, many times those wants aren't even a true representation of what the person actually wants in a mate.

Don't let someone's version of a "dream man" get you down, because chances are the person isn't even being honest with themself.

 

[Funky Papa]

I just think online dating makes people way more shallow than usual.

This is 100% true.

How short is "short"?

In my experience, anything noticeably below the height of the girl you are trying to court in real life. Dating sites... that's a crapshoot. The one I'm using is fairly good in that sense and I've already got a date with a cool girl who's *much* taller than me and a bit over the average male (like, straight up amazon). Filtering makes everybody swallow as fuck.

I think it's not that important if you are shorter than other males as long as you are still taller than the girl in question and/or your taller friends are not trying to woo her. Are you shorter than most girls? Then you have a tremendous battle to fight uphill.

 

[Bleepey]

Did you look at the stats?

They are just above you.

That pun went over my head.

 

[Ikael]

That site has been a fucking godsend for me. Jesus. They deserve all the money they get.

*brofist* Anyone able to get Spanish women to be a little tad more proactive when searching for a couple rather than doing photosyntesys and call it a day, deserves a freaking Nobel Price. Best dating site in the entire Internet, I swear.

While that is true, there's a bit more to it than the bolded: random girls, specially online, will make fun of you for being short, some times to the point of being mean and cruel.

I have seen girls in online dating sites being cruel to every kind of people for the most inane reasons. It's not as if douchebaggery is more prevalent in one gender or another, but when it comes to online dating, where power dynamics between genders are reversed, there's some serious revanchist ethos going.

As I explained in a different thread, I'm more shortish and short. I'm just slightly below the male average (but still considerably over the female one) and with a good posture and proper clothing I can look a bit taller (it helps that most people are not really that good at calculating heights in person), but some of the stuff I've heard girls about smaller guys is just plain hateful. And they don't give a fuck about saying it aloud or even in front of your fucking face, unlike race (I guess that being black and short is just the ultimate double whammy).

Heed my advice: date girls who are shorter than you. Tiny, even. You don't need to be tall per se. Noone is tall in a vacuum. You just need to be tall in relation with someone.

 

[Funky Papa]

Heed my advice: date girls who are shorter than you. Tiny, even. You don't need to be tall per se. Noone is tall in a vacuum. You just need to be tall in relation with someone.

Meh, I don't give a crap about their height. If I like them, I will try to charm them; they are free to ignore me if they want a guy with bigger... hands (and so far they success rate is being astonishingly high).

The previous two were 170 or whereabouts, so pretty much the same as me. The latest one is 180. Another one who's current on vacations is a pocket sized 155 pixie. I'm happy as a pig in shit. I like variety.

 

[block tower]

How short is "short"?

the average height for women is 5'4, so if your 5'4 or shorter, you'd be considered "short" for a man compared to women. but i think the average height for men is 5'6, so if your shorter than 5'6, then your also short by that comparison as well. being 6'2 myself, i probably wouldn't considered any guy "tall" until they were over 6 foot tho.

 

[Fox the Sly]

Damnit, guys! Why did you have to go and remind me that in addition to being black that I'm short as well?! I had almost forgotten!

For reference I'm 5'7" which isn't too bad, and like someone said before people are surprising bad at gauging height in person. For example my ex thought I was 5'10 and that was with shoes with only about a 1 inch sole. 5'10"? I'll take that haha.

To all my brothers who are short (black or otherwise) let's all hit the gym and get ripped! It's got to help somewhat, right?

 

[Infinite]

Damnit, guys! Why did you have to go and remind me that in addition to being black that I'm short as well?! I had almost forgotten!

For reference I'm 5'7" which isn't too bad, and like someone said before people are surprising bad at gauging height in person. For example my ex thought I was 5'10 and that was with shoes with only about a 1 inch sole. 5'10"? I'll take that haha.

To all my brothers who are short (black or otherwise) let's all hit the gym and get ripped! It's got to help somewhat, right?

A better solution is to not bother with shallowness.

 

[Ikael]

Meh, I don't give a crap about their height. If I like them, I will try to charm them; they are free to ignore me if they want a guy with bigger... hands (and so far they success rate is being astonishingly high).

The previous two were 170 or whereabouts, so pretty much the same as me. The latest one is 180. Another one who's current on vacations is a pocket sized 155 pixie. I'm happy as a pig in shit. I like variety.

I don't give a crap about height either. Variety is the spice of life, but generally talking I think that it's easier to be attractive to girls who are shorter than yourself, I don't know exactly why (as I've said, this is a 100% subjective impression).

 

[Funky Papa]

To all my brothers who are short (black or otherwise) let's all hit the gym and get ripped! It's got to help somewhat, right?

While short beefy guys look goofy AF, this is very good advice. The ability to properly fill a nice shirt can make a huge difference, but it will also help you to have a much better posture.

You don't actually have to be buff to look great in a shirt or a tight jacket. Just the smallest amount of muscle mass can make a huge difference, even if you are just barely above the average (and still have some minor flab/don't have a six pack below that shirt).

 

[Moral Panic]

the average height for women is 5'4, so if your 5'4 or shorter, you'd be considered "short" for a man compared to women. but i think the average height for men is 5'6, so if your shorter than 5'6, then your also short by that comparison as well. being 6'2 myself, i probably wouldn't considered any guy "tall" until they were over 6 foot tho.

Not in the west at least. Average male U.S age 20+ is 5'9.5, 5'10 in the UK, 5'11 in Norway. Even Japanese men are 5'7.

 

[block tower]

Not in the west at least. Average male U.S age 20+ is 5'9.5, 5'10 in the UK, 5'11 in Norway. Even Japanese men are 5'7.

gotcha, i was pulling that from out of my ass. im American, so yeah 5'9 sounds about right, sort of shocked Japan is 5'7, thats good tho!

 

[Moral Panic]

gotcha, i was pulling that from out of my ass. im American, so yeah 5'9 sounds about right, sort of shocked Japan is 5'7, thats good tho!

In fact the Japanese stats only go up to age 17/last year of high school so it's possible they are even taller than that.

 

[block tower]

In fact the Japanese stats only go up to age 17/last year of high school so it's possible they are even taller than that.

interesting, honestly wouldn't of thought that.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Personal anecdote; I'm relatively short and black and I haven't been struggling with finding a date.

I just think online dating makes people way more shallow than usual.

This.

Also, when you talk to someone face to face, even if they're an inch taller than you, it's not noticeable since our eyes aren't on the top of our heads. We can't see the top of our heads lined up with each other. Our eyes are roughly the same height.

 

[Fox the Sly]

A better solution is to not bother with shallowness.

I try to avoid it when I see it. I also try to check myself on it as well.

While short beefy guys look goofy AF, this is very good advice. The ability to properly fill a nice shirt can make a huge difference, but it will also help you to have a much better posture.

You don't actually have to be buff to look great in a shirt or a tight jacket. Just the smallest amount of muscle mass can make a huge difference, even if you are just barely above the average (and still have some minor flab/don't have a six pack below that shirt).

Yeah, I'm not saying go crazy, but some good muscle definition should certainly help. I'm a little above average in that regard, but not enough that it's noticable without my shirt off. I've been wanting to hit the gym anyway though.

 

[IISANDERII]

Oh OK.

What's the solution?

Get money.

 

[BocoDragon]

I'm a 5'11" white male.

Here's the problem: when I'm single I know it's because I have no game.

 

[GabDX]

In this context, shorter than the girl you are wanting to date.

When it comes to online dating, anything below 6 feet is short, even if the women is 5'1".

 

[Moral Panic]

I'm a 5'11" white male.

Here's the problem: when I'm single I know it's because I have no game.

Well how much do you earn? You always have that excuse.

 

[Valhelm]

How so? Indians like other Asians also favor light skin and marrying upwards. Look at the opinions Indians had over Miss America for being "too dark" and how she wouldn't win in India:

Arranged marriages are less common among East Asian people, and I think ethnically East Asian people are more likely to be born in the United States.

 

[BPoole]

How short is "short"?

Under 5'8" for guys

 

[KingKiller]

Just read all the replies in this thread, I always just assumed that the prejudice against non-white races that I've seen was because the mid west is a shit place to live. I didn't realize how rampant it seems to be. As a white male, 5' 11, slightly overweight, I've never dated anyone outside of my own race but have never not found them attractive.