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[Lulubop]

Stop dog piling into the OP guys. He clearly has some sort of mental disorder like autism that has caused him to have naive, closed-minded worldviews that no normal 30-year-old would have.

What a thread.

 

[Masquerader]

Do you *really* think that OP wonders if women masturbate? It's rather obvious that he is just making a harmless joke, and is more interested if there are stories about about women getting busted. Because we rarely hear such stories, but plenty about men getting busted.

Well, seeing as the Internet is full of shit such as the OP's theorems, but not in a tongue-in-cheek manner, forgive me for no longer being able to tell the difference.

 

[Kane1345]

That PD post is the best post I've ever seen on here. Still chuckling to myself when I think about it.

 

[jorma]

Just the other day (Saturday) I caught my GF using a vibrator on her clitoris, nothing unusual I thought...apart from the screaming coming from her phone.

She was watching one of those hazing videos, were a girl was being abused by a woman in-front of 20+ men. She absolutely loved it.

It has opened up a new side to our sex life,I never knew she was into this level of kink.

So last night we ordered a bunch of toys.

looking forward to the craigslist post where you advertise for those 20+ men.

 

[Inanna]

Females don't use the internet though, right?

Nope! There are no females on the internet, none at all!! :|

 

[PBY]

Yeah, I really don't understand some of those overly arrogant, condescending and straight up insulting posts in here. Did OP kill your kitten or something?



Do you *really* think that OP wonders if women masturbate? It's rather obvious that he is just making a harmless joke, and is more interested if there are stories about about women getting busted. Because we rarely hear such stories, but plenty about men getting busted.



What the fuck.

He could have just asked if anyone's ever walked in on a woman, instead of his painfully awkward phrasing. It's not that serious, I just cringed a little reading the OP.

PD saved this thread tho.

 

[Sub_Level]

looking forward to the craigslist post where you advertise for those 20+ men.

WILLING TO HOST OR TRAVEL

WILL PROVIDE LITTLE CAESARS

 

[Portugeezer]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

Wow. Just. Wow.

 

[neorej]

looking forward to the craigslist post where you advertise for those 20+ men.

I was thinking the same thing.

"WANTED: 20 to 30 men willing to watch as I violate, dominate and humiliate my wife. Snacks during the performance will be provided, as well as hamburgers afterwards. BYOB. Perverts need not apply."

 

[Dr. Buni]

I have had a few girlfriends who masturbated and admitted it. They looked at porn, etc.

But I do think they are far less likely to, and if they do, far less frequently to engage in it.

This is bullshit.

 

[Hans Holo]

Smh GAF.

OP just wanted to make a joke thread for some laughs and you guys just troll.

I dont see anything wrong with what OP said.

And yes to me it totally IS abnormal if you have your wife/husband around you and you masturbate without reasons. Like what the.. I would feel offended, so would my wife. And before someone says something: we are having a good sex life, a really good one.

And wtf with reading books and education? Why is this Funky Papa guy so butthurt? Ffs

 

[jorma]

I was thinking the same thing.

"WANTED: 20 to 30 men willing to watch as I violate, dominate and humiliate my wife. Snacks during the performance will be provided, as well as hamburgers afterwards. BYOB. Perverts need not apply."

So smart! Guaranteed clapping after the show.

 

[PBY]

Smh GAF.

OP just wanted to make a joke thread for some laughs and you guys just troll.

I dont see anything wrong with what OP said.

And yes to me it totally IS abnormal if you have your wife/husband around you and you masturbate without reasons. Like what the.. I would feel offended, so would my wife. And before someone says something: we are having a good sex life, a really good one.

And wtf with reading books and education? Why is this Funky Papa guy so butthurt? Ffs

Well... He succeeded in making a joke thread.


Also it's not abnormal.

 

[Opus Angelorum]

who was on the phone?

As in the girl being hazed? Not sure.

looking forward to the craigslist post where you advertise for those 20+ men.

Well she thought the men just standing watching (without even masturbating) was odd, it was more how the girl was being dominated/humiliated that turned her on I think.

 

[terrisus]

Smh GAF.

OP just wanted to make a joke thread for some laughs

And yes to me it totally IS abnormal if you have your wife/husband around you and you masturbate without reasons. Like what the.. I would feel offended, so would my wife

"Hey guys, OP was just kidding around!"
"Oh, by the way, you're all a bunch of abnormal, offensive weirdos!"

 

[Daffy Duck]

What a thread.

Good job GAF.

 

[codhand]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

 

[TheOddOne]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

A+

 

[Shortt Sirket]

/r/holdthemoan

This man knows what's up

 

[NinjaBoiX]

 

[TTOOLL]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

gold, pure gold.

 

[soxinthebox]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

That ending hahahaha

 

[NaughtyCalibur]

A few years back I woke up next to my ex rubbing one out to an episode of True Blood on her iPhone at like 3am. I acted like I was sleeping. It was pretty hilarious in hindsight.

 

[codhand]

A few years back I woke up next to my ex rubbing one out to an episode of True Blood on her iPhone at like 3am. I acted like I was sleeping. It was pretty hilarious in hindsight.

you dont say

 

[Joeki11a]

Shake a young ladys hand that will let you know

 

[Replicant]

Just for you, OP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkVFecWwAys

 

[MarkMclovin]

Well done OP for creating a great thread for which is a fucking miserable Monday!

Anyhoo, I've not caught any women having a 2 finger fumble however nothing has stopped my GF from texting me whilst I'm at work and she's at work on herself. Or we could be wathcing TV or something an she'll literally pull her knickers down and go to town. She knows I love that shit though.

Most women I've had relationships with are pretty open about cracking one off. They just seem to keep it on the down lo more than what men do.

 

[Joeki11a]

What the hell hahah

 

[HiResDes]

Just saw PD's best, holy shit lol.

 

[Jackben]

What the hell hahah

It's what the OP looked like when he was posting the thread.

 

[Ganzlinger]

Best thread!

 

[Camp Lo]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now

Her face immediately shifted like

and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.

 

[Catdaddy]

My sister was in bed across the room (we share a the same bedroom) and she must have been watching porn because she forgot to plug her headphones into the iPad. She was so embarrassed she would look at me for days..

Oh wait, nm that wasn't me, I read that somewhere...

 

[esms]

What would you prefer? There's flicking the bean, playing the invisible banjo.... and I'm all out of euphemisms.

I'm a big fan of stabbing the cat. Women I've talked to think it's hilarious.

 

[Sami+]

It's threads like these that really make me love GAF.

 

[neorej]

Anyhoo, I've not caught any women having a 2 finger fumble however nothing has stopped my GF from texting me whilst I'm at work and she's at work on herself. Or we could be wathcing TV or something an she'll literally pull her knickers down and go to town. She knows I love that shit though.

Who doesn't? Second best thing to look at is a girl rubbing her clit, getting all worked up.

 

[Catdaddy]

I'm a big fan of stabbing the cat. Women I've talked to think it's hilarious.

Punching the clown...

 

[Tetraeon]

ahahahahaha perfect.

 

[Tesseract]

in my undergrad years i noticed a search pattern among many womenfolk for gloryhole porn.

i have nothing more to add, thank you for your time.

 

[Bold One]

in my undergrad years i noticed a search pattern among many womenfolk for gloryhole porn.

i have nothing more to add, thank you for your time.

 

[jorma]

Punching the clown...

paddling the pink canoe

 

[CSX]

*Bows to PD*

12/10. Thread of the Year. Post of the Year

 

[BraXzy]

This thread brightened my day. Bravo to Sunhi and PD for stellar performances!

 

[Windam]

Just the other day (Saturday) I caught my GF using a vibrator on her clitoris, nothing unusual I thought...apart from the screaming coming from her phone.

She was watching one of those hazing videos, were a girl was being abused by a woman in-front of 20+ men. She absolutely loved it.

It has opened up a new side to our sex life,I never knew she was into this level of kink.

So last night we ordered a bunch of toys.

 

[Dr_LucienSanchez]

Smh GAF.

OP just wanted to make a joke thread for some laughs and you guys just troll.

I dont see anything wrong with what OP said.

And yes to me it totally IS abnormal if you have your wife/husband around you and you masturbate without reasons. Like what the.. I would feel offended, so would my wife. And before someone says something: we are having a good sex life, a really good one.

And wtf with reading books and education? Why is this Funky Papa guy so butthurt? Ffs

So in other words, 'there's nothing wrong with the OP's blatant creepiness and absurd sexual immaturity, and you people are all freaks.' That's essentially what you're saying, right?

I'm glad you added that extra info though. I was about to be like:

 

[Funky Papa]

And wtf with reading books and education? Why is this Funky Papa guy so butthurt? Ffs

lulz

Edit:

And yes to me it totally IS abnormal if you have your wife/husband around you and you masturbate without reasons. Like what the.. I would feel offended, so would my wife. And before someone says something: we are having a good sex life, a really good one.

Tripling the lulz

 

[Verano]

I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:


-big latino dick

She wants the chorizote...awww yissss mexican-GAF.. anyways not bad of a sensational story PD...

 

[Sai-kun]

Smh GAF.

OP just wanted to make a joke thread for some laughs and you guys just troll.

I dont see anything wrong with what OP said.

And yes to me it totally IS abnormal if you have your wife/husband around you and you masturbate without reasons. Like what the.. I would feel offended, so would my wife. And before someone says something: we are having a good sex life, a really good one.

And wtf with reading books and education? Why is this Funky Papa guy so butthurt? Ffs

the 'reason' is to get off and that's basically the only reason you need. if i was tired and my SO wanted to get off, I'm not gonna make her wait till I feel like going at it. It's pretty hot to watch someone getting themselves off, too.

 

[Ultimadrago]

That Sunhi gif.

Wonderful.

 

[Opus Angelorum]

Slightly off-topic.

My last girlfriend cheated on me after some 2+ years together. It's been 3 years since then and we have remained good friends since.

A few months back she asked me to look at her netbook as it was running slow. So curiosity kicks in and I decide to look at her browsing history. Almost all of it was related to sex toys; vibrators, anal plugs, nipple clamps and other pieces.

So having left the netbook back to her she asked what was wrong, I said it just needed a general clean-up...like all those toys that have been up your ass.

The look on her face...priceless.

It's pretty hot to watch someone getting themselves off, too.

This. I've sat and watched my girlfriend play with herself for hours. So sexy.