How do you throw hashtags in real life? Is it like gang signs? Now this purse holding is getting dangerous.
Holding your SO's purse
- Thread starter King Cobra
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How do you throw hashtags in real life? Is it like gang signs? Now this purse holding is getting dangerous.
Would definitely need some kind of reason beyond her not feeling like it. But my SO isn't big on purses anyway so not really an issue
yet
In my experience it has nothing to do with holding a purse and looking "feminine."
It's about her carrying her own shit and not using you as a mule. The girl I'm with now, if she doesn't want to carry her purse around she puts in the the trunk of my car. I'll gladly hold it for her when she's looking at things or trying on clothes when we go shopping, but once we're back on the move she carries it or puts it in a cart, end of story.
I've been with girls who will gladly whip you into doing everything for them and then some, just because they want to be special. Not doing it again.
It's about her carrying her own shit and not using you as a mule. The girl I'm with now, if she doesn't want to carry her purse around she puts in the the trunk of my car. I'll gladly hold it for her when she's looking at things or trying on clothes when we go shopping, but once we're back on the move she carries it or puts it in a cart, end of story.
I've been with girls who will gladly whip you into doing everything for them and then some, just because they want to be special. Not doing it again.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
Is this really the only thing worse? Aside from tying her laces and holding her bag, a guy could really push it and pick up some tampons for her. Underwear is pretty bad too, especially pink ones!
How embarrassing would it be if your buddies saw that. Doing things for your girl.
Mammoth Jones
Member
No time for tests. No time for games. I'll hold ypher purse for a moment but if she don't take that shit back I'll drop it off in the car or whatever. Sorry I'm old school.
SeriousApes
Member
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Falcs
Banned
I didn't say helping somebody is disrespectful. I said I would hold my wife's bag if she needed help doing so.
What I was saying is disrespectful is if she expected me to carry it for her for absolutely no reason other than she can't be bothered doing it herself.
If her arms are injured and she can't carry it? - Yes, give it here.
Just being lazy? - Disrespectful.
andrerobot
Member
Sorry for asking, but how else can a wife be disrespectful?
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
Ill go and grab some tampons for her, but im not tying her laces. Thats pushing it. Your feet are RIGHT there, bend down.
TheGreyHulk
Member
I am never holding my SO's purse unless its for a brief second while she fixes her shoe or some shit. Other than that, im not holding it. Put it on the chair or in the shopping cart but not on me. U brought it, so carry that shit.
TheGreyHulk
Member
Ive seen this first hand. My friend would do this shit while in front of us. Shed tell him to put on her boots and he would and hed tie that shit... We'd just look at him like.... "Have you no shame?" Fuk that. Im not doing that. So glad they broke up and hes no longer woop'd like that. Omg.
andrerobot
Member
Oh, my post is mostly really referring to some responses in this thread.
And about the OP, I may be trying to read between the lines, but my guess is that it is possible that instead of being mad at OP, the gf may have really being disappointed that the him refused to do some meaningless thing, for her.
ZackieChan
Member
Yep. The "she has sex with me, so I'll be her pack mule" attitude of some guys in here is extremely weird and very foreign to me.
I've bought tampons before, no problem. I'm an expert (I worked at Target and had to organize tampons and grew up with three sisters in the house - I may know more about them than you). I have a small dog. No masculinity issues. Purse holding, though? Nope.
Agree with you guys. I guess we are just old school. For lack of a better term, it is a really "beta" thing to do. Have I just crossed the line into MRA? :O
Adam Scott Aukerman
Member
"Sorry love, I care too much about how I might be perceived by ignorant strangers to give you hand!"
With respect, if carrying a purse for someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you honestly would probably benefit from taking some time to evaluate your insecurities and priorities.
It's just a bag.
With respect, if carrying a purse for someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you honestly would probably benefit from taking some time to evaluate your insecurities and priorities.
It's just a bag.
ZackieChan
Member
Honestly, I don't think anyone here is arguing about outward insecurities related to masculinity. It's all inter-relationship dynamics.
Aquavelvaman
Banned
If I ever saw a GUY tying his FEEMALE'S shoes, I would take his MANCARD right there on the spot. It's like, where are your BALLS? Don't have any NUTS? Empty SCROTUM? No NADS? Lost your STONES? Can't find your PUDENDUM?
John Rabbit
Banned
hey man maybe it's just the late hour or some kind of magic, but can you point out where the OP stated that he was worried about how he "might be perceived by ignorant strangers" in the original post? because all i'm seeing is his refusal to schlep his girlfriends stuff around for her when she brought it in the first place.
could he have just bitten the bullet and held it? sure.
should she stop carrying around a purse so heavy she is unable to carry it for the duration of a shopping trip? yeah probably.
Where are you getting that from this thread?
That isn't the argument against it at all.
Who mentioned every time?
ZackieChan
Member
He isn't the first to make the argument. No one seems to be reading the posts that agree with OP.
The other question is - why would the GF get so upset about it, if not that OP failed the "test"?
ugh disgusting
i would never do such vile things for the person that i love and cherish
thinking it's a 'beta' thing to do honestly makes you a beta lmao! y'all are crazy
Troubled Bat
Member
I hold it for her. I don't give a fuck what others think. I'll wear that shit proudly.
Man up, OP.
Man up, OP.
Adam Scott Aukerman
Member
I'm not saying that's all there is to the situation, but to deny that it's an element is a bit disingenuous.
So my question is, what would or have most of you done when facing this situation, and was I really a jerk for not just holding my SO's purse? Also her purse really stands out this is what she has.
Falcs
Banned
Hm.. let's see..
By asking and expecting the husband to wear a dress out in public?
By asking and expecting him to wear make up when he goes out with his friends?
I'm sure there's plenty of other ways. Not that hard to think of some.
Edit -
This guy gets it.
Edit 2 -
I'll add a few more:
By leaving her dirty clothes and stuff all over the house and expecting the husband to clean up after her all the time.
By telling him not to hang out with other girls and then going to hang out with a bunch of guys.
ZackieChan
Member
No way. Recognizing "beta" behavior does not make one beta. Not sure where you get that...
But they're giving us SEX! So we have to do everything they ask, I guess. /s
I had a friend whose fiance used to ask him to do little things all the time. It was maddening. "Could you hand me the remote? Could you get me a sandwich? Could you get me a drink?" While she is just sitting there. That's the attitude that we're arguing against in this thread - not that it makes us look feminine. As I said, I have a tiny dog. It is not "masculine." I don't give a shit about being seen holding a purse. I have an issue with being asked and expected to hold that purse.
It would take a very insecure person to consider it an element in their decision at all.
The type of person insecure about holding it is probably going to be the type of person forced (whipped) into holding it..
No he doesn't. Not by a long shot.
Let's apply Occam's Razor to this:
A. "I want to groom a man into a state of subservience. So I will keep asking him to do things and reward him when he does. This way I hope I will condition him (despite mental conditioning not working like that) for my own ends. Whatever they may be."
B. "I'm tired. Maybe I can ask my SO for help."
ZackieChan
Member
For a one-time thing, maybe. But if it is a repeated occurrence, I think some form of A is happening.
Nose Master
Member
I would for a bit, sure. Newspapers thing though, for real.
Also, you guys need to understand the whole "girls never have functional pockets" thing. They're always decorative. Guys are wearing glorified Tripp pants, and women have about 2cm to work with. That shitty little pocket inside of your real front pockets on jeans? They're like that.
They also have to carry more shit than us.
Also, you guys need to understand the whole "girls never have functional pockets" thing. They're always decorative. Guys are wearing glorified Tripp pants, and women have about 2cm to work with. That shitty little pocket inside of your real front pockets on jeans? They're like that.
They also have to carry more shit than us.
GuessMyUserName
Member
Another thing I don't understand is why guys don't want the purses brought at all: purses just god damn useful. Not just for her, but for you as well!
Snacks and stuff are awesome, and any other miscellaneous things can just be tossed in. My ex's purse would always hold our 3DSs~ Well, not always, sometimes she just would take a fashionable purse that's small and can't even hold much... but in that case she'd have no problem carrying it so whatever.
Snacks and stuff are awesome, and any other miscellaneous things can just be tossed in. My ex's purse would always hold our 3DSs~ Well, not always, sometimes she just would take a fashionable purse that's small and can't even hold much... but in that case she'd have no problem carrying it so whatever.
Falcs
Banned
EXACTLY! This is what I'm getting at. This kind of behavior is just disrespectful.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
The OP implies that he has concerns not just with carrying someone else's shit, but the fact that the item stands out. So sure, he doesn't seem primarily upset over it being a feminine item, but there are plenty of posts in here that do.
I also think you are missing the point of "giving us sex." It isn't an exchange of services, but it is a pretty damn good indicator that further compensation to preserve appearances is pretty much unnecessary at this point. I think the claims in here about women who turn men into pack mules are unrealistic and borderline sensationalist. Sounds like some shit out of the Boondocks.
No no it makes far more sense for a woman to have an agenda like something out of a 90's high school flick.
Adam Scott Aukerman
Member
Are you playing a you smelt it, you dealt it card here, or are agreeing that being uncomfortable holding a bright orange women's purse is a sign of insecurities that would probably be best attended to?
If the latter, then yes, we're in agreement. If the former... good gravy.
I mean, they're not exactly forced to wear pants with no/shitty pockets. I'm sure there are women's pants that have real pockets. If they choose not to get those pants for stylistic reasons, I get it, but they still chose pants with shitty pockets.
I'm not playing whatever card you suggested. Sorry if it seemed that way.
We are in agreement.
Adam Scott Aukerman
Member
OK, then I have absolutely no idea what your point was. Oh well.
Nose Master
Member
Vaaast majority of them have pockets like that. "They're not forced to wear make up, I don't know why they even bring it." Like, sure. They could wear flannel and cargo pants. But come on.
I think most women here and in general would agree that 95% of the things they are sold do not have pockets suitable for carrying things in the way men do.
My girlfriend has several pairs of pants, and none of them will actually hold her phone, her credit cards, cash, or ID.
If you don't think "A" ever happens, you're delusional. That sort of disrespectful relationship does happen, usually when one person thinks they are superior to the other and are "doing them a favor" by being with them, or something similar. I've been in it. You don't get to apply Occam's to everything and call it a day.
Come on, what? They're free to choose to dismiss social expectations of genders. Wear what you want, but don't act like it wasn't a choice.
Falcs
Banned
Here's one for ya..
You start dating this girl. One day she suddenly starts to insist on taking a big ass travel luggage bag with some stuff inside everywhere she goes. She becomes dependent on all the stuff that's in the bag and on the bag itself. Next thing you know, she asks and expects you to lug it around for her everywhere.
You ok with this?
so buy men's pants? cmon man, now you're just being disingenuous
My point was that the posters in here commenting that they wouldn't hold their SO purse in certain situations are not doing so because they're insecure.
Screw the purse, if this is true:
Then that is the bigger story. Dont bother with people who put you through shittests, if she is 17 years old fine, but if this is a grown up woman then id question her maturity level that she feels the need to "test" her boyfriend, as if you were cattle that needed to be trained and tested on regular basis to meet the requirements.
If she cannot carry the purse for whatever reason, weight, has other bags, then sure. But if its just some shittest that came out of a trashy magazine to "test your man" then that is dehumanizing and pathetic. Id toss that bag Brady style, after i deflate it a tad to really get good arch on it
Then that is the bigger story. Dont bother with people who put you through shittests, if she is 17 years old fine, but if this is a grown up woman then id question her maturity level that she feels the need to "test" her boyfriend, as if you were cattle that needed to be trained and tested on regular basis to meet the requirements.
If she cannot carry the purse for whatever reason, weight, has other bags, then sure. But if its just some shittest that came out of a trashy magazine to "test your man" then that is dehumanizing and pathetic. Id toss that bag Brady style, after i deflate it a tad to really get good arch on it
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